"Heavens! I kill you know ;-)"

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It's been hypothesized (by Ally and me) that any sentence can be turned into a Nedism by appending "Heavens!" to the front and ";-)" to the end. To test this hypothesis, I request that you, the denziens of ILE, take your favorite quotes and submit them to this test to see if the end up sounding like something Ned would say.

I fully expect that Ned will be directing the words in the thread title in about T-5 seconds...

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:41 (twenty years ago) link

Yeah, mainly because you typed "KNOW" rather than "NOW."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:45 (twenty years ago) link

"Heavens! eat my fuc ;-)"

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:45 (twenty years ago) link

I kill you know what?

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:45 (twenty years ago) link

*taps nose* exactly

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:46 (twenty years ago) link

I was wondering if that was a typo or not. I thought it was like "I kill, you know". Like a warning.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:47 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! Go fuck yourself and die in a corner ;-)

― oops (Oops), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:49 (twenty years ago) link

"Heavens! im trippin my nut sack into a frenzy of dik play ;-)"

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:50 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! bring on it fuckfaces ;-)

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:53 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! Make 'em say 'UGH', sha-na-na-na ;-)

― oops (Oops), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:56 (twenty years ago) link

http://members.aol.com/johnnyradpants/nedo.gif

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:57 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! And then they all lezzed up ;-)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:57 (twenty years ago) link

"Heavens! i hate all you fuckers who diss them but shot all the people who like them!! ;-)"

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 30 June 2003 04:02 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! You like lie a kite ;-)

― oops (Oops), Monday, 30 June 2003 04:04 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! Yay for sodomy! ;-)

― jewelly (jewelly), Monday, 30 June 2003 05:06 (twenty years ago) link

ned + hanle y (the nedle y?):

heavens! craky redneck or wise counsel? WHat's with his eyebrow movements? heavens! WOuld you trust him to probe you ?

― Tad (llamasfur), Monday, 30 June 2003 05:09 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! Grandma was gamier than I expected! ;-)

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 30 June 2003 05:10 (twenty years ago) link

heavens!

http://www.co-junk.net/martin/domo-kun.gif

― Tad (llamasfur), Monday, 30 June 2003 05:21 (twenty years ago) link

how to kill an otherwise promising catch-phrase in less than 48 hours.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Monday, 30 June 2003 06:13 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! This thread sucks! ;-)

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 30 June 2003 06:59 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! I suck ass ;-)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 June 2003 10:36 (twenty years ago) link

haha

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 30 June 2003 10:39 (twenty years ago) link

Ciel! Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d’enculé de ta mère ;-)

― Sommermute (Wintermute), Monday, 30 June 2003 10:48 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! It's Ned the Frenchman ;-)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 June 2003 11:31 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! "Bingo" ;-)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 30 June 2003 11:35 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! If I were an East End Bangladeshi woman! ;-)
Heavens! You don't go out much, do you Ronan? ;-)

(two of my all-time favourite phrases here)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 30 June 2003 12:15 (twenty years ago) link

"My girlfriend is quoting Ned Raggett to me!" has to be the aim chat quote of the week, if not the year.

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 30 June 2003 12:39 (twenty years ago) link

No no, Nicole, it's like this:

Heavens! My girlfriend is quoting Ned Raggett to me! ;)

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 30 June 2003 12:53 (twenty years ago) link

Also:

Heavens! I kill you with guns ok? ;)

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 30 June 2003 12:53 (twenty years ago) link

heavens! U R ALL GAY ;-)

― angela (angela), Monday, 30 June 2003 12:58 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! This thread isn't as good as I hoped it would be, yet I'm still laughing ;-)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 June 2003 13:05 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! My boss has 3rd degree burns from coffee! ;)

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 30 June 2003 13:11 (twenty years ago) link

*twirls hair*

― Sean (Sean), Monday, 30 June 2003 14:06 (twenty years ago) link

heavens! my bloody valentine perform unspeakable acts on innocent animals ;-)

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 30 June 2003 14:27 (twenty years ago) link

Astounding! Bush/CIA fabricated proof of WMD ;-) *flounces off*

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 30 June 2003 14:37 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! Gygax comes through with the variation ;-)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 June 2003 14:45 (twenty years ago) link

"My girlfriend is quoting Ned Raggett to me!" has to be the aim chat quote of the week, if not the year.

What in the name of god is the context of that, I have to ask.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 30 June 2003 14:46 (twenty years ago) link

"Heavens! Tart ;)"

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 30 June 2003 14:49 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! I'll have you naked by the end of this song! ;)

― Neudonym, Monday, 30 June 2003 14:59 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! Shouldn't that be "Heavens! I'll have you nekkid by the end of this song! ;)"? ;)

― NA. (Nick A.), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:15 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! I Shrunk The Kids

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:21 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! Know's I'm miserable now! ;)

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:22 (twenty years ago) link

"Kevin Shields is still farting around in the studio. Aw, bless."

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:28 (twenty years ago) link

Killing you now = a merriment.

― naked as sin (naked as sin), Monday, 30 June 2003 18:14 (twenty years ago) link

Actually, I kill you now. Obviously :-)

― Gringo Hero, Monday, 30 June 2003 18:36 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! Heavens! I kill you now ;) in meta wormhole ;)

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 30 June 2003 18:42 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! Shoot low they might be crawling! ;) *pout*

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Monday, 30 June 2003 19:39 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! And how can this be? For he is the Kwisatz Haderach! ;-)

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 30 June 2003 20:57 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! I'm surprised Ned doesn't hate us all with a passion. ;)

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:30 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! How do you know he doesn't? ;)

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:33 (twenty years ago) link

Skipping 25 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Astounding! If people find farting unpleasant, they should either go elsewhere or ask for the favor of stopping. This is very simple and not at all rude.
Everyone understands that some people find farting pleasant, some people find it deeply unpleasant, and some people don't care much either way. This strikes me as the sort of situation that can easily be managed via normal social standards of appropriate behavior and politeness and decision-making. If a farter really wants to spend time with someone with a farting allergy, he's going to have to do it in a fartless setting. If a person who abhors farting wants to spend time with farters, he might have to get used to their either farting nearby or constantly nipping outside. In either case, people can decide it's just not worth it. And that's fine...

In addition to this, I'm curious about in what situations people feel they're being unfairly subjected to farts. One thing you may not realize about a lot of farters is how often one refrains from farting -- even when allowed -- simply because the setting isn't appropriate. Out at a bar with non-farting colleagues from work: you go across the room to let off. From what I can tell, most everyone farts in the following situations: (a) alone and outside, (b) alone and in a space that's clearly labelled as being fartable, and (c) in the company of others, when the others are either mostly farting themselves or tolerant enough of it that it doesn't feel impolite. In none of those situations can I locate anyone who's being subjected to anything unfairly. The most I can find is people who have lost the battle to control the social environment -- just like people whose friends always want to go to the most horrible bars -- and are now in the position of deciding whether it's worth compromising on the issue or bailing out. And even those people, if they ask politely, can often get the farters to accommodate them -- by cutting down, by going across the room, by going outside, or by stopping altogether.

In sum: farters know plenty of people don't like farts. The average young farter, it seems to me, makes good-faith efforts about not bothering anyone with it. This is because people want to be liked, and as such can curb their more irritating behaviors if they feel they're unduly bothering someone. But there comes a point where sometimes you're going to indulge in your irritating behavior, and if people aren't up for it, then they should stay away, because for the time being you're busy doing that thing you do that they turn out to hate.

;)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 18:09 (twenty years ago) link

Now I object.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 18:12 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! Is it REALLY a sin to fart? ;-)

― Sommermute (Wintermute), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 18:14 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! Where diid you find that, Ally? ;-)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 18:16 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! The smoking thread is a hot bed of fantastic Momus quotes, Dan ;)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 18:16 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens!
90% of all sickness and disease begins in an
UNCLEAN COLON!
Since "Death begins in the colon," you should find out HOW to
clean your colon.
Toxins and waste build up in your colon just like they do in the pipes of your home. Both
demand immediate attention or the results can be disastrous!
;)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 20:43 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! NED VS PITCHFORK FITE!! ;-)

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:21 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! What a large font you have ;-)

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:35 (twenty years ago) link

(Heavens! fixed tag hopefully ;))

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:47 (twenty years ago) link

(Heavens! Are we no longer XTREE BOLD? ;-))

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:48 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! This better not be in bold ;-)

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:53 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! I thik I fukced that up pretty badly, eh? ;-)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:55 (twenty years ago) link

(btw, it displayed as i intended in "Opera", I had to check in netscrape exBLOATer to see what everyone ws on abt)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:56 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens! To Lou Even ;-)

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:57 (twenty years ago) link

Heavens, was that Granny in her laddered tights, with a shotgun;)?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 22:01 (twenty years ago) link

one month passes...

Heavens! I can't make my face into a heart ;-)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 7 August 2003 16:45 (twenty years ago) link

one year passes...

Heavens! This thread should be revived. Oh yes.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:37 (nineteen years ago) link

heavens! chocoteats!!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Heavens! Chocoteats (.)(.)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Heavens! mayahee mayahoo mayaha mayahaha ;)

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Heavens, here we go again. (Not that I mind at all of course.) ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:48 (nineteen years ago) link

Heavens! Mighty Mouse girlfriend found dead in Kryptonite Cheese Shocka!;)

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:49 (nineteen years ago) link

And stuff like that!

― Remy (Heavens! another Nedism ;-) (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Heavens, Vorga, I kill you filthy;)

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Heavens! the USA has fuxxored the world by re-electing George Bush ;- )

― Masked Gazza, Friday, 18 February 2005 16:57 (nineteen years ago) link

HAEVNES! HI DERE WAHT IS IT MADE? --;(

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:22 (nineteen years ago) link

heavens! TARTMONSTER

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Heavens! an ice moth!!!!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:23 (nineteen years ago) link

heavens! it's the final countdown!!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Hey hey hey, where's the ;-) on these claims?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Heavens! I kill you for missing out emoticons! ;-)

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:28 (nineteen years ago) link

heavens! i forgot my emoticon!! ;-);-);-)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:29 (nineteen years ago) link

HAEVENS! BUT WHICH TO DROP ANCOHR IN?!?;)

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:30 (nineteen years ago) link

Heavens! I fuxored a sheep!

― Deerninja B4rim4, Plus-Tech Whizz Kid (Barima), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Haevens! What are the odds of that?!?;)

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:56 (nineteen years ago) link

Heavens!
Pine Sol makes you
Taste like trees
This will have him
On his knees
LYSOL DOUCHE ;-)

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 18 February 2005 18:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Heavens! All your base are belong to us. ;-)

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 18 February 2005 18:58 (nineteen years ago) link

Richie Havens! I absolve thee.

― Deerninja B4rim4, Plus-Tech Whizz Kid (Barima), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:50 (nineteen years ago) link

Heavens! SATISFY YOUR WOMAN PINDICK ;-)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Hahaha.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:53 (nineteen years ago) link

HAEVENS! DAEREST RED PANDA: UR CUET. ;-)

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 18 February 2005 20:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Heavens! Hahaha. ;-)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 18 February 2005 20:27 (nineteen years ago) link

HEAVENS!
ihttp://foobar.net/fuX0Red.jpg
EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T LIKE DMB, YOU'RE STILL MORONS!!!!!;)

― LYSOL D ARISTOCRAT (Ken L), Friday, 18 February 2005 20:45 (nineteen years ago) link

Heavens! "On at least two incidents in mid-to-late June 2004, Patterson intensely pressured Keller to expose herself to Koko while they were working outside where other employees could potentially view Keller's naked body. ... On one such occasion, Patterson said, 'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples. I will turn my back so Kendra can show you her nipples.' " ;-)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 20:51 (nineteen years ago) link

two years pass...

Heavens! Even a cursory reading of Foucault would have shown us this ;-)

― HI DERE, Friday, 25 May 2007 20:20 (sixteen years ago) link

Heavens! all the girls i've ever dated have loved to be cummed on ;-)

― jessie monster, Friday, 25 May 2007 20:30 (sixteen years ago) link

Heavens! oh you can die then you fucking chocolate bastard ;-)

― onimo, Friday, 25 May 2007 20:35 (sixteen years ago) link

Heavens! Ron! I am gonna vomit your ass. ;-)

― HI DERE, Friday, 25 May 2007 20:44 (sixteen years ago) link

Heavens! I appear to have killed again. Oh well, this child will decompose quickly ;-)

― Ronan, Friday, 25 May 2007 21:01 (sixteen years ago) link

Heavens! i am want toasked me for 96 sance postion and sexulitity and srach me friend in my city andi want to like sex and i read to 69 postion ;-)

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Friday, 25 May 2007 22:02 (sixteen years ago) link

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