rampant jingoism (Its Canada Day)

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CANADA KICKS ASS ! WE ARE BETTER THEN THE AMERICANS BECAUSE WE CARE ABOUT THE POOR .
WE ARE BETTER THEN UK BECAUSE WE HAVE GOOD FOOD
WE ARE BETTER THEN AUSTRALIA BECAUSE WE CONTAIN THE NORTH POLE .

This piece of jingoism is in honor of Canadas Birthday !
So everyone grab a moosehead and drink in our honor.

― anthony, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yeah! Things we've contributed to world civilisation - 'Crash'(the film), "Echo Beach", gasoline siphoning. Regionalism! Fuck all you Easterners, moving out west because there's no work out there, either! Geddit?

― tarden, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Hey, did you know that I'm a distant relation to Calixte Savoie? Which is ironic, because I'm not going to move back to Canada until they make "Echo Beach" the national anthem. That, or "By-Tor & the Snow Dog"

― tarden, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

In fact we are known for the cinematic cerbal dark sexual creepfest
( David Cronenberg and Atom Egoyon, as well as mollys musem, the hnaging garden, kissed ... )

― anthony, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yeah but don't you guys all say 'anyhoo', finish every sentence with a pitch-raise so no-one knows whether you're asking a rhetorical question and dress your policemen in effeminate red?

And you handed over Peltier, you bastards. I'm not living on stolen Indian land, even if my great great grandparents went out and did the stealing on your pitiful behalf!

― christopher, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yes but we didnt trump over the entire world putting our muddy boots where we didnt belong and cause problems 150 years after the fact . We also didnt kill the irish with as much vigor as you did .

― anthony, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Why's killing people and stealing their land seen as such a bad thing? Anyway, more importantly, why have we got a reputation for having bad food? That's just shit. We're the best.

― Greg, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The reason Brits boil all their food, including bread, is that none of them still have their own teeth past the age of 12

― tarden, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Don't be silly. If this thread starts getting nasty it will mysteriously disappear.

― DG, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

come on can we have one day of ramoant tooth and claw nastiness.
it all in good fun .

― anthony, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Since _South Park_'s "Blame Canada" is all too obvious, let me contribute this ditty from the _Mystery Science Theatre 3000_ archives, thankfully already typed up by people even more obsessive than I. Apologies for any formatting weirdness. ***** Mike (telling a joke): ...and the drunk guy says, "I can't help being an idiot, I'm Canadian!" Crow (Laughs): You're right, they're so pathetic, Mike! (Whistle blows, Tom comes in wearing Mountie uniform) Tom: Enough! There's been too much Canada-bashing for far too long! I say: no more! Mike: Don't you mean: "No more, eh"? Crow (Laughs): Good one, man! They are SO stupid! Tom: Stop it now! Instead, let us offer our Northern brothers and sisters this song of tribute! (Music starts) (Singing)
Oh, I wish I was back in old Canada,
A land which I never shall lampoon!
How I pine for the ice covering Lake Manitoba,
And the beauty that is Saskatoon! Mike (spoken): I got one. (Singing)
Oh, I wish I was stuck in the hills of Alberta,
Drinking beer with some big dumb guy trapping fur! Tom (spoken): Hey! Mike (singing):
As he scraped and chistled all the moose dung off his boots,
I would learn that he's the Prime Minister! Tom (spoken): Oh, stop that! Crow (singing):
Oh, I wish I was in the land gave us Peter Jennings,
Alanis Morisette, Mike Meyers, too! Tom (spoken): Yeah! Crow (singing):
No, I take that back, I wouldn't go there even if you paid me,
Oh, Canada, you are a place I must eschew! Tom (spoken): Now, this is NOT in the spirit I intended! Mike: Oh, come on, give in! I mean, after all, they gave us Ed the Sock and Rush! Crow: Yeah, what are you defending? They're such feebs! Tom: Okay, I'll try! Mike: All right! Good man! Tom (singing): Oh, I wish I was blowing up Prince Edward Island,
And going on to bomb Ontario!
The destruction of Canada and all of its culture,
Is by far my fav-o-rite scenario! Mike (spoken): Okay, that's a little strong... Tom (interrupting, spoken): No, no, you were right, Mike, this is much more fun! (Singing) Just where the hell does Canada get off sharing a border
With countries far superior to it? Crow (spoken): Yikes! Tom (singing): Why, you lousy, stinking, francophonic, bacon-loving bastards,
Your country's just a giant piece of sh...(Mike leaps on Tom and covers his mouth with his hand, while he and Crow shout "Hey! Woah! Woah!") Mike (spoken): I think that's enough. I think we've... Cambot, (Music stops) okay, thanks. All right. Tom (sobbing): I'm sorry! I have no sense of proportion! I'm a disgrace to my uniform! Mike: No, no, that's okay, calm down. Mustn't hate! Mustn't hate! Crow: At least so overtly. Mike: Exactly, right. Must disguise our hate, just a little. (Commercial sign light goes on) Okay, we'll be right back. (To Tom) It's okay, now, Dudley. Tom (still sobbing): Pardonez moi! Pardonez moi! ***** But me, I like the place.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

well, at least you're not american.

― Geoff, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Favorite Canadian music-people:

* Peaches

* "Chilly" Gonzales

* Kardinal Offishall

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

you have a canada day? wow

― gareth, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

You have music in Canada now? That's nice for you.

― Greg, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Isn't "rampant jingoism" and "Canada" a non-sequitur?

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"WE CONTAIN THE NORTH POLE": is this true?

― mark s, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Magnetic, yes. I assume the geographical pole is in international waters.

― Josh, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Acc.50s Damon Knight short story which later became film The Thing (both versions), mag.N.Pole = giant crashed alien spaceship, frozen under ice... "Oh, Cah-ni-daah"

― mark s, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I was just thinking about Canada today, and how grateful I am to live not too far south of it. Yesterday it was 50,000 degrees outside with 200% humidity, but then one of those cold fronts came down from Canada and SPARED US FOR THE NEXT TEN DAYS - THANK YOU CANADA!

― move the border southward, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

magnetic north would probably be in the innuit territory, but i guess that is technically still part of canada.

― keith, Sunday, 1 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

and dress your policemen in effeminate red?

Yeah but, those "effeminate" coppers ALWAYS GET THEIR MAN! (My source - "I'm On The Lamb But I Ain't No Sheep" by the Blue Oyster Cult)

― hornswoop me bungo pony, Monday, 2 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Ach, Canadia. Geographical boundaries are nothing. Everyone knows that Tronno, Ottowa, and much of Southern Ontario is really part of Upstate NY. While Canada owns, basically, the entire Northern half of the midwest. And Maine. So don't be silly.

― masonic boom, Monday, 2 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I think it's sweet how google advertises Canada day with a beaver, or whatever it is.

― the pinefox, Monday, 2 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yeah, especially since it was actually yesterday.

― tarden, Monday, 2 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Canada for hockey players, cold fronts and gay anarchist punk rock bands (ok there's only one of them). Conversely, I would like to curse them for Brian Adams and Celine Dion.

― michele, Monday, 2 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I'd like to add my thanks for Hard Core Logo, and for housing a shit- load of draft dodgers in the 60s, and din't Leonard Cohen and Doug Coupland sway in from up there?

― Geoff, Monday, 2 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Er, where is this Canada anyway?

― Billy Dods, Monday, 2 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Somewhere in the US I think. I forget exactly. They made me learn it in school once.

― Josh, Tuesday, 3 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

three years pass...

WOO!

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 July 2005 15:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Get your Maple Leaf on!

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 1 July 2005 15:49 (eighteen years ago) link

roll up the rim, if you know what i mean!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 1 July 2005 15:50 (eighteen years ago) link

yay

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 1 July 2005 15:50 (eighteen years ago) link

As a likely future Canadian, I wore my Montreal Expos shirt today.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 1 July 2005 15:51 (eighteen years ago) link

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v335/gypsyfrocksbedlam/f-canada.jpg

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 1 July 2005 15:59 (eighteen years ago) link

I will be observing Canada Day tomorrow, in a temporary Canadian outpost, upstate. Some sort of Newfie rum-drinking ritual may be involved.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 1 July 2005 16:00 (eighteen years ago) link

Yes! I will be celebrating in subtle ways, as is fitting, like going swimming and later eating charred meat. Sometimes I wish I could do the Simpsons/US thing and "celebrate your country's birthday by blowing up a small part of it." Ah, well. Gun control and gay marriage for all!

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 1 July 2005 16:11 (eighteen years ago) link

The only way that picture of the maple-leaf-face-paint kid would be better is if it were an animated gif and he was krumping.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 July 2005 16:28 (eighteen years ago) link

If only bars put in as much promotion into Canada Day as they do for Cinco de Mayo or St. Patrick's Day. We could all be wearing hockey jerseys, swilling Black Label, and apologizing for making too much noise today!

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 1 July 2005 16:49 (eighteen years ago) link

Ahh - happy Canada Day all. think I'l head to Cherry Beach, watch me some fire works and smoke me some erb.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:49 (eighteen years ago) link

Some sort of Newfie rum-drinking ritual may be involved.

Screeching in! You better post the pic of kissing the fish.

― Rufus 3000 (Mr Noodles), Friday, 1 July 2005 21:26 (eighteen years ago) link

do people anywhere still drink Black Label?

I bet Cherry Beach was a touch chilly last night. We actually managed the very far off fireworks view from our little pseud balcony. Not exactly like last year on Parliament Hill, but we did our patriotic duty.

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 2 July 2005 14:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Neil Young, Leonard Cohen & Dr James Naismith.

Thank You Canada.

― jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Saturday, 2 July 2005 15:43 (eighteen years ago) link

one year passes...

DUDES!!

― rrrobyn sharkattack battleforcenet (rrrobyn), Sunday, 2 July 2006 00:37 (seventeen years ago) link

CANADA
WE CANT PLAY SOCCER BUT DAMN WE CAN CHEER HOLY CRAP

― rrrobyn sharkattack battleforcenet (rrrobyn), Sunday, 2 July 2006 00:39 (seventeen years ago) link

AND HARGREAVES CAN SCORE (SOMETIMES)
WE CLAIM HIM

I HAVE BEEN DRINKING FOR CANADA
ALSO: OTHER THINGS

― rrrobyn sharkattack battleforcenet (rrrobyn), Sunday, 2 July 2006 00:40 (seventeen years ago) link

STOMPIN TOM vs NORTHERN PIKES

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Sunday, 2 July 2006 01:31 (seventeen years ago) link

KD LANG VS TRAGICALLY HIPP

― rrrobyn sharkattack battleforcenet (rrrobyn), Sunday, 2 July 2006 01:36 (seventeen years ago) link

CANADIAN IDOL VS MTVCANADA

― rrrobyn sharkattack battleforcenet (rrrobyn), Sunday, 2 July 2006 01:36 (seventeen years ago) link

MITSOU VS ALANA MYLES

― rrrobyn sharkattack battleforcenet (rrrobyn), Sunday, 2 July 2006 01:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Skipping 34 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

KIM - WAS IT YOU THAT PEED ON THE WAR MEMORIAL?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 14:09 (seventeen years ago) link

she would

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 14:25 (seventeen years ago) link

not that i recall?

xpost

oh thanks, thanks a lot!

(i added some older fap photos to the flickr acct i just set up btw)

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 14:27 (seventeen years ago) link

uh, not that peeing on monuments was a reminder of that.

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 14:34 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.winnipegsun.com/News/Canada/2006/07/04/winsunnews.jpg

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 14:44 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm pretty sure i can't do that.

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 14:50 (seventeen years ago) link

don't be so modest

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 14:51 (seventeen years ago) link

SNOW vs SHAWN DESMOND
KISH vs MCJ & COOL G
ROCKETS VS SMARTIES

Robins Donuts coffee >>> Tim Hortons coffee

Only in your dreams.

― Rufus 3000 (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 15:25 (seventeen years ago) link

eleven months pass...

happy canada day dudes

― rrrobyn, Sunday, 1 July 2007 15:32 (sixteen years ago) link

people better be at lakes/cottages b/c i know i should be
(apparently i'm having a "working summer" and so will celebrate all the summer things in october whoo!)

also: CANADA! IT IS A PLACE! WITH TREES! AND PEOPLE! AND A GOVERENEMENT! CANADA!

― rrrobyn, Sunday, 1 July 2007 15:36 (sixteen years ago) link

Amen.

― Casuistry, Sunday, 1 July 2007 15:38 (sixteen years ago) link

CANADA! IT IS A PLACE! WITH TREES! AND PEOPLE! and a government :( CANADA!

fixed!

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Sunday, 1 July 2007 17:14 (sixteen years ago) link

happy canada day, nuckers!

― mookieproof, Sunday, 1 July 2007 22:47 (sixteen years ago) link

ps i luv u

― mookieproof, Sunday, 1 July 2007 22:47 (sixteen years ago) link

I just listened to 2 hours of Canadian music! Now I want some All Dressed Chips.

Happy Canada Day!

― tokyo rosemary, Sunday, 1 July 2007 23:01 (sixteen years ago) link

i have just made 2 hours of canadian music! all dressed chips are good and full of flavour crystals!

i think i am going to go to friend's house to watch u-20 world cup canada v chile (and cross my fingers for cdn win. b/c i mean, it is soccer and we are canada...)

― rrrobyn, Sunday, 1 July 2007 23:22 (sixteen years ago) link

eleven months pass...

wahey! I found this while attempting to use the 'search' feature to find threads about Day of the Tentacle (yeah, what? where's the connection there?)... oddly enough, on Canada Day. Or at least Canada Day according to UK time...

― asey, Monday, 30 June 2008 23:27 (fifteen years ago) link

I will be in the US for Canada Day and in Canada for Independence Day. I am failing both my patriotic and my ex-patriotic duties.

― Casuistry, Monday, 30 June 2008 23:34 (fifteen years ago) link

Am tempted to go to Trafalgar Square tomorrow for festivities, including 'Canadian themed cuisine'. The idea of Canadian cuisine is strange enough (Tim Hortons coffee? poutine? BSE-ridden Alberta beef? kraft dinner?) but Canadian THEMED cuisine?

― asey, Monday, 30 June 2008 23:45 (fifteen years ago) link

tomorrow = today

― asey, Monday, 30 June 2008 23:46 (fifteen years ago) link

Everyone knows that Tronno, Ottowa, and much of Southern Ontario is really part of Upstate NY.

This is surely madness (esp bilingual Ottawa)?

― Sundar, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 00:00 (fifteen years ago) link

I will be in the US for Canada Day and in Canada for Independence Day.

one of my friends is doing the exact same thing! huh.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 00:13 (fifteen years ago) link

Anyway, this is as good a place as any to announce that I'll be returning to the Homeland in the fall, albeit to border-hugging Windsor.

― Sundar, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 00:18 (fifteen years ago) link

sundar, i'm so sorry.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 00:19 (fifteen years ago) link

i'm thinking "canadian themed cuisine" prolly means they're just going to give you a jug of syrup with whatever you order.

and ketchup chips, perhaps.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 00:21 (fifteen years ago) link

sorry, "crisps"!

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 00:22 (fifteen years ago) link

Haha, a job's a job but yes, point taken. I've already started worrying about my allergies. (Actually, I'm still waiting to hear back from Memorial.)

xposts But don't they have ketchup crisps in the UK too?

― Sundar, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 00:23 (fifteen years ago) link

HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYONE!

A little bit of light reading for the holiday tomorrow

― j-rock, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 00:25 (fifteen years ago) link

oh MacLeans, the epitome of rampant (conservative) Canadian jingoism

― asey, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 00:46 (fifteen years ago) link

I will be in the US for Canada Day and in Canada for Independence Day. I am failing both my patriotic and my ex-patriotic duties.
Whoa, ME TOO.

I live in a bizarro border town that is partying all week.

― kate78, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 01:24 (fifteen years ago) link

How have I never heard of Point Roberts? That's really interesting.

― j-rock, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 01:28 (fifteen years ago) link

ah cool; i read about that place! which side do you live, kate?

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 03:12 (fifteen years ago) link

The U.S! Point Roberts proper! On the other side, it's just suburban Vancouver. I do have to cross the border twice each way on my way to work in Bellingham.

― kate78, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 04:09 (fifteen years ago) link

kate78, have the border crossings (at Pt. Roberts) gotten longer/tougher since 9/11? I'm genuinely curious (as a Lower Mainlander).

― Lostandfound, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 07:08 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh, and Happy Canada Day to my compatriots. For all it's faults, I fucking love this country. No doubt it's a pancake and bacon/sausage breakfast at the park tomorrow morning. Good stuff.

― Lostandfound, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 07:10 (fifteen years ago) link

Plus Maple Leaf flags, obviously.

― Lostandfound, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 07:28 (fifteen years ago) link

I've only been here a month, but I'm sure they have. I have a NEXUS pass so I'm usually just waved through, but I still always have to have my passport on hand. The lines are not usually very long unless it's a weekend when all the British Columbians are coming and going. You get to know the border guards at pretty quickly, so I'm not usually hassled by them.

― kate78, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 07:30 (fifteen years ago) link

Yeah, there's only so many people can man/woman those little booths; they'll get used to the same people I guess. It's a weird anomaly, though, Pt. Roberts, and one that we frequently forget about. I'm glad that you don't get hassled. If anything -- as an English-born Canadian -- I get way more hassled coming back into Canada than I do crossing the line south (at Sumas, Bellingham, Blaine, wherever).

― Lostandfound, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 07:39 (fifteen years ago) link

Me, too. The Canadian Border Patrol are abuncha fuckers.

― kate78, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 07:53 (fifteen years ago) link

Hi. Please don't say that right now. I am stressed out enough as it is.

Actually I have always found the Canadians to be way nicer than the Americans on the way back.

― Casuistry, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 08:03 (fifteen years ago) link

YAY CANADA

"Canadian cuisine" = last year I made butter tarts for Canada Day. They were pretty good, especially on my first attempt!

― NoTimeBeforeTime, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 08:17 (fifteen years ago) link

Fed Up Brits Come To Canada Says Minister Sent To Lure Workers There

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 13:42 (fifteen years ago) link

'There are tremendous opportunities, all over the world the people are feeling the housing crunch, but we aren't. We might have some very little dips, but we have a very stable economy which is set up for the future.

Hmm, where have I read that before?

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 13:43 (fifteen years ago) link

happy canada day!!
i had sausages and eggs with ketchup and vrai maple syrup and yes also pancakes (ok they were crepes)!
CANADA

― rrrobyn, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 14:23 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...

i luv u kanada

― scott seward, Thursday, 2 July 2009 03:34 (fourteen years ago) link

whoo!

― paragon of incalescence (rrrobyn), Thursday, 2 July 2009 04:50 (fourteen years ago) link

rock that body

― Nhex, Thursday, 2 July 2009 06:21 (fourteen years ago) link

eleven months pass...

keep freedom free, canadians
happy canadaaaaaaa daaaaay!

― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Thursday, 1 July 2010 20:09 (thirteen years ago) link

five years pass...

we luv u 2 skotrock

― Sir Lord Baltimora (Myonga Vön Bontee), Wednesday, 1 July 2015 23:22 (eight years ago) link

1 Year Passes...
i luv u kanada

― scott seward, Wednesday, July 1, 2009 9:34 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

whoo!

― paragon of incalescence (rrrobyn), Wednesday, July 1, 2009 10:50 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

rock that body

― Nhex, Thursday, July 2, 2009 12:21 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

11 Months Pass...

― e-bouquet (mattresslessness), Wednesday, 1 July 2015 23:58 (eight years ago) link

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