Best 80s Teen Sex Comedies!

They're running a whole season of these films on Paramount Comedy, but I'll have to wait till July 20th to find out whether Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise should go on this list.

I nominate Real Genius. Or maybe Meatballs III.

From that horrible subgenre of '80s Teen Sex Comedies Set In The Fifties To Appeal To A Wider Demographic'.

"Talking? During horsehead bookends? There's no talking during horsehead bookends!"

(*the only one to actually "score")

Wired Science TV show SuXoR. Really really SuXor.

Due to my unending teenage obsession with Molly Ringwald I would say Pretty in Pink. Nonsex though, Feris Bueller is hard to beat. All it need was Low Rider instead of Yellow.

surveying board for interest in a ballot teen sex comedy poll (not limited to the 80s)

nah

:(

14 years pass.. jeez.

This thread is now old enough to be a horny teenager.

I look forward to hearing about this thread's wacky misadventures trying to score with a sexy substitute teacher all while ignoring his loyal, but pretty, best girl friend.

I'd vote

this is such an interesting genre to me, it's the result of such a specific set of cultural and economic factors - sure most of the movies are formally inept and/or poorly executed but so evocative of their era.

ie post-sexual revolution but pre-internet, and in contrast/conflict with puritanical Reagan era (while nonetheless often sharing Reagan era's nostalgia for and fascination with the 50s/early 60s)

You need to include the plotless teen sex films of Crown International Pictures that have obvious influenced Tarantino and Linklater, titles such as The Pom Pom Girls, Malibu Beach, and Van Nuys Blvd. They're so purely and non-intellectually escapist they make films like Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Risky Business, and Pretty In Pink look way too serious and artsy.

huh never heard of those - I do know My Tutor and My Chauffeur

Hardbodies vs Joysticks. the golden years were that decadent new wave era from 79-83 which Reagan Values were a reaction too, before Just Say No and AIDS

surely risky business wins this one clear

I hate that movie

offhand I'd put Last American Virgin at no. 1

you have terrible taste! :)

The Pom Pom Girls has a lot of similarities to Linklater's Dazed and Confused, in tone and structure for instance. They are both set in the same year (1976), the difference being Pom Pom Girls was also made in that year.

The actress who played the Mexican hooker in Last American Virgin is now one of the OJ Simpson accusers. Fun trivia.

trying to put my finger on why I don't like Risky Business, beyond just knee-jerk Cruise hatred. I find him really unlikable and that's hard for me to get past. Worse is perhaps that the movie isn't fun or funny, generally it's tone is moody and subdued.

I liked The Wild Life at the time. I am offering no guarantees 30+ years later.

Not to get all Chuck Eddy, but the abortion subplot in Fast Times is better art than 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days.

...and soundtracking the abortion scene in The Last American Virgin with "I Will Follow" is bad taste at it's finest

Malibu Beach is so good and Ted Cruz talks about it in this clip

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt-vG_TdOT4

I'm not gonna lie: the greatest appeal of most of these movies for me was the man-candy they offered in the likes of Matt Lattanzi, Steve Antin, Christopher Atkins (who never did a teen sex comedy per se, but a fan edit of The Blue Lagoon, The Pirate Movie and A Night in Heaven could probably cobble together a decent one) and countless anonymous others. Yes, these films were aggressively geared towards the hetero-male gaze, but they weren't all that shy about showing male flesh either, albeit usually incidentally.

actually he's probably talking about this one

http://impdb.org/images/thumb/7/7e/TMBS_Poster.jpg/350px-TMBS_Poster.jpg

The fella with the red towel is Bill Adler, who starred in many of the Crown International flicks:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_0LoTWhzoRtM/TElyar8J5JI/AAAAAAAALvQ/0HpJzeULH3Y/s1600/Van-Nuys-Blvd.-Melissa-Prophet-Dennis-Bowen-Bill-Adler-Cynthia-Wood-8.jpg

never saw this one but i think the female lead(?) is a Cosby victim

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1f/1985_film_Hot_Chili.jpg

Hunk is dreadful even by the genre's standards.

Old Lunch: I, uh...well...I have that.

The Italian woman in The Party Animal, while under the spell of a fart potion, crosses herself and says “Mamma mia” repeatedly as she passes gas.

This theoretical poll will finally give me a reason to crack this thing open. Containing a good number of movies mentioned itt.

That's the bulk of Crown International Pictures' output in the genre. Missing Van Nuys Blvd. though, which I saw recently on amazon streaming and, unbelievably, was edited for content.

One more thing to say about Risky Business, it's very odd that that was the director's first feature and he only made one subsequent feature, 1990's Men Don't Leave, starring Jessica Lange.

Caught Private Schoolon the Retroplex channel last night. The script is lobotomy level dumb, though the film does kinda deliver in terms of showing lots of young skin. Could sort of see the "sex-posi feminism" aspect mentioned upthread, but not sure if that justifies the rest.

When Sylvia Kristel shows up as the sex ed teacher I was pleading that they let her class the movie up a bit, but as it turns out they mainly use her to get pushed in the pool as an excuse to receive mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from a horny guy. She's so skinny in this - must have been her cocaine period. Also enjoyed Martin Mull's cameo as the condom-selling pharmacist.

On the downside this movie made me feel super old, because I remember my high school peers looking much like the kids here and that whole world seems as remote as another planet.

If that is the one I think it is, it ends with a sex-on-the-beach scene that is actually quite erotic in its acting and presentation, rather than leering and creepy like most in the genre.

That's correct. Matthew Modine and Phoebe Cates. They go from the water to the shoreline (a la Lancaster/Kerr) and then finish on the dune.

Probably the worst film i've ever seen

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/517IRmKkvIL._SY445_.jpg

Get thee to post movie posters done in a busy/claustrophobic caricature style from the 70s and 80s!

Wierd Science, for also being a teen house party movie too. did people like that ever really exist?
― Ed, Saturday, 7 July 2001 00:00

No. Nobody ever really had a Memotexh MTX512.

That post is older now than Weird Science was to that poster

A couple weeks ago SNL had a spot-on Revenge of the Nerds parody w Jason Momoa ("Day of the Dorks").

the ass-car is an all-time illustration

The local Alamo Drafthouse has started promoting an August screening of a 4K resto of Hot Dog: The Movie.

idk if this is a movie genre that really calls for "restoration"

maybe if it's being restored to shitty degraded VHS

4T&A, amirite?

That restoration just premiered at Cinepocalypse last month. It got a brief mention on The AV Club's roundup:

Truly, my favorite moments of Cinepocalypse are the ones that serve as crystallizations of what make it special. Cinepocalypse isn’t a horror festival, but a genre festival—one that, to me, feels like a celebration of the kinds of movies you’d have never have wanted your parents to catch you watching as a kid. Tammy And The T-Rex’s gore cut is one of those, as is Hot Dog...The Movie, the naughty 1984 cult classic that was here given a 4K producer’s cut restoration for its 35th anniversary. Whether or not it’s a good idea to revisit such a horny, uber-male film in our current era is up to you, but it was a joy to boo the scenes that didn’t age well with an audience that can still appreciate the raunchy spirit so many of us worshipped as kids.

I don't know if "worshipped" accurately captures the reality of "I was a teen, it was on cable, so I ended up watching Hot Dog/Ski Patrol/Ski School/Better Off Dead many times and such aimless time-killing is now a fond memory"

Don't throw Better Off Dead on with those others!

I blame this thread for the fact that three days ago I dreamed about a teen sex comedy set in the aftermath of the Glorious Revolution.

I only saw Hot Dog once and I remember it as particularly unseemly. The Always Sunny parody was hilarious, though.

at the time we didn't differentiate, now I appreciate what Savage Steve Holland brought to the table

HD:TM is pedestrian and unmemorable even by the genre’s standards. I suspect the only reason anyone has any reverence for it is because of the title (in which case there’s also Hamburger: The Motion Picture.

now that is a dire film, the worst one I've ever seen more than five times probably

dunno if they're 4TnA restos, but this has got to be an essential purchase for any crown pictures international fan.

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTc1MjA5Njg1OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMDEzODgyMw@@._V1_.jpg

and based on the plot description, i'm thinkin cavegirl may be a real doozy.

"On a class excursion to a cave with stone age paintings the clumsy Rex gets lost. A mysterious crystal opens a gateway in time and sets him back to the stone ages, where he meets a group of prehistoric fellows and the gorgeous Eba. While teaching her English and doing some pseudo-research on her fellows, his main goal is to get her sleeping with him. However the curiosity of the clan chief disturbs his attempts."

the stone ages? more like BONE ages

"My Tutor" was on Cinemax like four times a day.

it's pronounced skinemax

I've seen Cavegirl. It's terrible. And as Eliza notes, My Tutor as well, for the same reason... these movies were shown incessantly on Cinemax when I was a kid. We favored them, as terrible as they were, over the totally blank softcore pornography that was the alternative. At least Cavegirl had time travel.

Also the kid on the far left in that Coach poster is, I think, Michael Biehn, AKA Reese from the Terminator.

saw one recently that's from a dimension very near to our own, with many recognizable parts but just slightly...off? it's also a canadian production, which may have something to do with it.

state park aka heavy metal summer
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNTFhYTQ5NWMtMGZjNi00MTQyLTlmMTEtZGM5NWFhN2E1MmVkXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjAxMjEzNzU@._V1_.jpg

saw one recently that's from a dimension very near to our own, with many recognizable parts but just slightly...off?

to be fair, that's all of these itt

heavy metal summer

tbf this is one of the best titles for anything ever

you only get one real heavy metal summer

I miss the innocence I've known
Watching Crown features, beautiful and boned

Recently saw Secret Admirer for the 1st time. I'd never even heard of it. It's actually p watchable, I was surprised!

I agree that it's watchable (though not much better than that). As a critic friend pointed once pointed out, it also contains one of the lovelier musical scores of the decade.

Jan Hammer!
but yeah if you're not an 80s kid or into cheesy 80s teen movies I wouldn't recommend.

Private School was on one of the movie channels here the other day; I'd seen it before (its wretched) but I paused on it long enough to hear this generic but catchy new wave-y pop/rock thing on the soundtrack which turns out to have been performed by Phoebe Cates herself. IMDb tells me that she performed a couple of songs on the soundtrack. I had no idea!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2lOyuB67AM

Recently watched Private Lessons almost back-to-back with the conceptually similar My Tutor. I prefer Private Lessons bc it stars Sylvia Kristel and bc the schoolkid in it looks and acts like a real teen. My Tutor doesn't ring as true bc it revolves around Matt Lattanzi, a pretty boy who projects no teenage insecurity (and who married Olivia Newton-John shortly after the film came out).

Also sat through the excruciatingly bad Up the Creek featuring an unwatchably smarmy Tim Matheson somehow playing a college student at age 35 (six years after he was in college in Animal House).

to be fair, Matheson's character has been in college for 12 years

Just the kind of guy you'd want piloting your raft

(Stephen Furst is better in Midnight Madness)

My favorite thing related to Up The Creek...(from Rick Nielsen's interview w/the AV Club)

O: What about "Up The Creek"?

RN: Now that was a bad song! I co-wrote that… No, wait, let's see… I can't remember. Maybe I actually wrote that whole thing. Man! I must've been high. That was one of the worst songs—put it this way, it was one of the worst movies that's ever been out. Song-wise, it fit right in with the movie. Our video was the worst video we've ever done. We've done some bad, bad ones, but that took the cake. The worst… [Background talking, laughter.] Hey, my wife, who wasn't even listening, heard me say "worst" and said, "Up The Creek"? and started laughing. Hey, at least we weren't standing there looking at each other trying to fake some ballad. And… [Addresses wife.] What? I just gave you money yesterday.

The video is pretty dopey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jh_155r8f0

Haha that's an amazing quote. And I still remember hearing the chorus of the song being sung in the ads for the damn film.

I have fond, blurry memories of Real Genius so I torrented it and... man it has not aged well. The sexism is just bananas. And there are a LOT of boring parts. Imagining Eddie Murphy in it instead - it would still be pretty bad but at least watchable.

nah Real Genius is still classic