try and genuinely frighten/scare me with a conspiracy theory

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go on.

piscesboy, Thursday, 5 August 2004 11:21 (nineteen years ago) link

I know where you live.

Osama bin Laden, Thursday, 5 August 2004 11:27 (nineteen years ago) link

Dogs can't look up because if they did they would see the shape of a big cat in the stars and would all start jumping in unison incessantly, which I'm sure you will agree is a truly terrifying thought.

the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Thursday, 5 August 2004 11:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Mad cow disease.

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 5 August 2004 11:36 (nineteen years ago) link

Aluminium causes Alzheimer's

Holy Crap! Typhoon is Coming!!! :O (ex machina), Thursday, 5 August 2004 12:16 (nineteen years ago) link

conpsiracy-a-go-go

cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 5 August 2004 12:17 (nineteen years ago) link

When one eats potassium, it gives off a special phermone. Mosquitos are extremely attracted to this phermone. Ergo, if one eats bananas, one becomes a prime target for mosquito attacks.

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 5 August 2004 12:36 (nineteen years ago) link

Hey Ally!

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 5 August 2004 12:38 (nineteen years ago) link

Hey Mark! What's shakin'?

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 5 August 2004 12:39 (nineteen years ago) link

Soylent Green is people!

Michael B, Thursday, 5 August 2004 12:44 (nineteen years ago) link

My ASS, that's what's shakin'!

(or my faith in the concept of work, jobs, careers etc.)

How are you?

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 5 August 2004 12:47 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm increasingly tempted to jump off a bridge. It's all good.

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 5 August 2004 13:05 (nineteen years ago) link

bridges are made in order to encourage people to commit suicide, in an effort to control population growth

ken c (ken c), Thursday, 5 August 2004 13:08 (nineteen years ago) link

ALLY NO! I'm sending you a package TODAY!

St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Thursday, 5 August 2004 13:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh! Scratch all that then.

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 5 August 2004 13:14 (nineteen years ago) link

ilx is people!

ddb (ddb), Thursday, 5 August 2004 14:04 (nineteen years ago) link

No-one's gonna believe that one.

robster (robster), Thursday, 5 August 2004 14:05 (nineteen years ago) link

the 'E' on the badge of a Dell computer is inclined to resemble the upward -poking tines of a fork for a reason. If you type a certain combination of characters on a Dell computer keyboard, then the round badge on the box pops open and a fork is propelled out which jabs the user in the eye. Trouble is, no-one who doesn't actually work for Dell knows what the combination of characters is and ppl working for the company have to sign an agreement when they start working there not to divulge the secret to anyone. The reason for this rather macabre feature is not known, although it has been speculated that Dell has developed a new range of computers for partially-sighted users which it hopes will increase in number as a result of its latest innovation.

MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 5 August 2004 14:10 (nineteen years ago) link

JFK was killed by Oswald...and LIZARDMEN!

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 5 August 2004 14:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Evil antipodean bioengineers kidnapped John Bunyan's blue ox, Babe, from the woods of Maine and imprisoned it in a secret laboratory just outside Melbourne where they transformed it into a pig.

MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 13 August 2004 14:04 (nineteen years ago) link

Done this one already this month:

http://www.bestwriters.com/good/archives/00000031.htm

Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Friday, 13 August 2004 14:05 (nineteen years ago) link

one year passes...
we didn't get far with this, but in light of the docherty-hoax hoax it made me think once again 'ooh i love a good conspiracy'.

piscesboy, Monday, 13 February 2006 16:21 (eighteen years ago) link

My conspiracy theory is:

Tne UK Government are pushing out stories that the current or next generation may live to 100 or even 150. Secretly they know that this is unlikely, people are exercising less and getting more obese. The life expectancy could even start going down.

The reason is to try to soften up the public to accept the idea of working to 70, which would leave you - on average - a couple of years of good health, five years of poor health, and then dead.

Pension crisis solved.

Bob Six (bobbysix), Monday, 13 February 2006 16:51 (eighteen years ago) link

If you regard a "conspiracy" to be any group of people who secretly combine to further an agreed-upon end, without regard to the legality of their methods, then conspiracies are as common as bread and salt. Corporations collude, politicians accept bribes, criminals gang together, governments authorize covert operations, enemies are destroyed by fair means or foul. It's only natural.

The best way genuinely to frighten you would probably be to theorize a couple of people you already know, who don't like you, getting together to get back at you for something you did, by fiddling the brakes of your car.

Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 13 February 2006 19:21 (eighteen years ago) link

three years pass...

really enjoying the spectacle of the uk media failing to adequately protect a source to the point where he has a mental breakdown, then laughing at him. great work, everyone.

joe, Tuesday, 28 July 2009 10:35 (fourteen years ago) link

here's conspiracy theory: this is his deepest cover yet.

EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK THERE'S SOME DIFFERENT SHIT POPPIN OFF (latebloomer), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 10:37 (fourteen years ago) link

people diss conspiracy theories, but i'm sure there is a lot of crazy shit going on in the world that we can barely imagine. look at all the technology that's been "invented" in the last 100 years or so: thousands of years of slow progress and then you've got the phone, the tv, the radio, the internet, the car... it's not crazy to say the origins of a lot of this stuff may not be terrestrial. but who is giving us this technology? and what deals have been made for us to be able to use it? just a thought. people say david icke is crazy, but when you really get into what he's saying, it makes a lot of sense, you can criticise his examples from history, but the so called official historians and professors all disagree with each other, never mind icke, so how do we know they know what their talking about, it's all just their opinion. we can't know everything that happens in the world at any point or what happened at anytime in the past. not saying that everything icke says is true, but he must be on to something for so many people to be into it. people are too narrow minded and willing to believe what the official media and government tell them, like sheep. time to break the mind-cycle, people.

max arrrrrgh, Tuesday, 28 July 2009 22:30 (fourteen years ago) link

david shayler was right about all the bombing and stuff in iraq, so who's to say he's not right about a lot of the things he says now? and if he wants to dress up as a woman, that's his business, he's just doing his own thing. live and let live, imo.

max arrrrrgh, Tuesday, 28 July 2009 22:32 (fourteen years ago) link

haha the 'governments' know fuck-all about anything.

Great Scott! It's Molecular Man. (Ste), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 22:43 (fourteen years ago) link

time to break the mind-cycle, people.

you spelled SHEEEEEEPLE! wrong

wax onleck, wax affleck (jjjusten), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 22:45 (fourteen years ago) link

thousands of years of slow progress and then you've got the phone, the tv, the radio, the internet, the car

thousands of years of slow progress my ass, you try inventing flying buttresses and pants

nabisco, Tuesday, 28 July 2009 22:46 (fourteen years ago) link

or um irrigation

wax onleck, wax affleck (jjjusten), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 22:47 (fourteen years ago) link

When you diss max arrrrrgh you diss yourself

Calamari Merkin (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 22:59 (fourteen years ago) link

link to ur new skool sockpuppets, imo

Bobkate Goldtwat (darraghmac), Wednesday, 29 July 2009 10:09 (fourteen years ago) link

six years pass...

the USA magically not having Satellite footage of the MH17 crash. I guess that's not really scary tho.

One time I was dosed unknowingly with PCP and I thought I had uncoded secret messages in Disney movies about his cryogenically-preserved brain controlling our reality in a matrix-like situation located on the dark side of the moon. That was pretty scary until I had some ativan and sobered up.

Frobisher, Wednesday, 30 September 2015 22:19 (eight years ago) link

Oh I like the one that suggests the "Air Loom Gang" was an actual group of people (who didn't actually have an 'air loom' obv.) who were gaslighting James Tilly Matthews as part of a Jacobian plot to take control of the City of London -- or possibly set up by Lord Liverpool to discredit Matthew's allegations of treason.

Frobisher, Wednesday, 30 September 2015 22:24 (eight years ago) link

One time I was dosed unknowingly with PCP

just curious, how did this occur?

johnny crunch, Thursday, 1 October 2015 15:02 (eight years ago) link

It was in some weed I bought.

Frobisher, Thursday, 1 October 2015 19:14 (eight years ago) link

damn homie

johnny crunch, Saturday, 3 October 2015 23:25 (eight years ago) link

so the pacific blob = fukushima pollution. shell ceding drilling rights out
of concern for worker safety. stock markets wd crash @∞ if this came out. i
am actually scared rn ^.^;

(o), Sunday, 4 October 2015 09:39 (eight years ago) link

lu……..riqua???

twunty fifteen (imago), Sunday, 4 October 2015 10:05 (eight years ago) link


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