How do you rate your ass?

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A rating out of 10 please. 10 = perfectly honed sexy ass, 1 = ill-defined, super-flabby mess.

Ok for myself, well it's maybe not perfect, but not bad for a male in his late 20s, pretty well-defined, muscular, not hairless enough to be girlish, not too hairy as to be wolfmanish... ok I give myself an 8.

― narrative fault line, Friday, 16 December 2005 15:25 (eighteen years ago) link

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:28 (eighteen years ago) link

i mean, why lie

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:28 (eighteen years ago) link

5 (it would be nicer if my waist were smaller)

― the people are such untight s wads (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:29 (eighteen years ago) link

7 or 8. not quite a ghetto booty though.

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:30 (eighteen years ago) link

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:30 (eighteen years ago) link

Clarification: LOOKS: 8; PERFORMANCE: 4

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:31 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.socalmtb.com/filler/pixs/mule.jpg

9.5. He even carries my bike ffs!!

― Frogm@n Henry, Friday, 16 December 2005 15:31 (eighteen years ago) link

i was kinda hoping to get the hank hill no-ass as i got older, but it just keeps staying the same

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:33 (eighteen years ago) link

i ain't kiddin when i say '1'

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:35 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't really see anything wrong with my ass, but I'm not vain enough to be a 9 or 10 since surely there are better asses out there. I'll settle for 8.

I think men in general have less problems with their asses, less fat deposits down there unless they're actually obese.

― Fred Shed, Friday, 16 December 2005 15:35 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't rate my ass. It's firmly fixed under my back where I don't need to see it. I prefer rating other asses.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:36 (eighteen years ago) link

Zero.

― Kate Classic (kate), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:36 (eighteen years ago) link

10. The rest of me may need some work, but I ain't gonna lie, my ass is bangin'.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:37 (eighteen years ago) link

If I'd be honest, I'd probably say something like '-4' cause it's HUMONGOUS due to pregnancy at the moment.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:44 (eighteen years ago) link

then there's probably that many more guys who'd want to tap it.

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:50 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.subvulture.com/archive/sir_mixalot_white.jpg

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:51 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't... actually...like my ass. It's a weird shape/height that makes pants NEVER EVER FIT -- can we go back to stola + chiton, please?

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:55 (eighteen years ago) link

― slow jamz and white guy indie acoustic shit (Chris V), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:56 (eighteen years ago) link

I try to be modest, but I cannot lie. My ass has received many compliments. I proudly rate it an 8 (-2 points for hairyness).

― Mickey (modestmickey), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:09 (eighteen years ago) link

(-2 points for hairyness).

that can be solved. Get one back, sac and crack wax.

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:10 (eighteen years ago) link

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:11 (eighteen years ago) link

― kingfish holiday travesty (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:11 (eighteen years ago) link

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:12 (eighteen years ago) link

ok 12

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:12 (eighteen years ago) link

Miss Misery, yeah, but the hair will keep growing back, and there's no way I'm going to start scheduling a monthly ass waxing.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:14 (eighteen years ago) link

men who remove their body hair are horrible, horrible people

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:16 (eighteen years ago) link

word

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:17 (eighteen years ago) link

men who remove their body hair are horrible, horrible people

http://www.stevequayle.com/News.alert/04_Unexplained/04_Unexplained_Pics/040818.hairy.man.jpg

ROWR!

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:18 (eighteen years ago) link

did you know that people such as porn actresses do asshole bleaching so that their assholes are nice and pink rather than a wrinkly-body-cavity brown?

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:20 (eighteen years ago) link

It's quite nice my bum actually. It looks better when I've been walking more, but I don't have cellulite and it's a reasonable size and shape, so 7 I reckon.

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:20 (eighteen years ago) link

I won't lie. My ass is worthy of a temple, nay templeS. It should have priestesses that regularly massage its pert and lovely buttocks. It is truly the reason behind all the joy in this world and the next.

Actually as the rest of me has ballooned my ass has remained quite small so a 7 should suffice. -3 for having no one that wants to see it at the moment!

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:26 (eighteen years ago) link

i have no ass.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:26 (eighteen years ago) link

i rate my ass with a spoon.

― snowkitten (g-kit), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:30 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't have cellulite

WTF! Tell me your secret!

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:33 (eighteen years ago) link

spoons.

― snowkitten (g-kit), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:33 (eighteen years ago) link

my kingdom for a delete button

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:34 (eighteen years ago) link

like your kingdom is worth that much.

― snowkitten (g-kit), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:34 (eighteen years ago) link

(xpost) aw poor stevem. You've a fine ass. I'll give you a seven too. Now smile won't you? Go on. It's Friday.

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:40 (eighteen years ago) link

― latebloomer: Deutsch Bag (latebloomer), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:41 (eighteen years ago) link

― POOP BITCH (Mandee), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:44 (eighteen years ago) link

WTF! Tell me your secret!

-- Nathalie

Dumb luck and good genes. None of the women in my family do either.

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:44 (eighteen years ago) link

My ass is OK. Used to be a lot nicer when I was in better shape, so there's a bit of flabbiness, but overall fairly squeezable. I'd say 7.7.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:45 (eighteen years ago) link

you people need to stop looking at your own asses tbh

― snowkitten (g-kit), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:45 (eighteen years ago) link

now i feel boastful

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:46 (eighteen years ago) link

but god didn't give me much...

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:46 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.ratemyass.org/

― elmo (allocryptic), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:50 (eighteen years ago) link

its a 1 because i really don't have one...

― slow jamz and white guy indie acoustic shit (Chris V), Friday, 16 December 2005 18:11 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah, mine's a total 3.

― [jailhouse tattoo] (nordicskilla), Friday, 16 December 2005 18:12 (eighteen years ago) link

i am surprised to hear that, gym-boy

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 18:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Skipping 78 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I couldn't help admiring your urethra at the last FAP.

― [jailhouse tattoo] (nordicskilla), Friday, 16 December 2005 22:57 (eighteen years ago) link

I admired my colleague's Wal Mart flares and she said she could pick some up for me in North Carolina, but that she'd have to get a different size for me bc I had a "big butt." ?!

― Mary (Mary), Saturday, 17 December 2005 02:38 (eighteen years ago) link

Sorry, but Luna's ass is definitely a 10.

Speaking of which, many people here have seen my keister--what would you rank me?

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Saturday, 17 December 2005 02:52 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't really have an ass/arse. My wife thinks it's cute, but she would. I guess it would be a 7?

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Saturday, 17 December 2005 03:42 (eighteen years ago) link

I have writer's ass (see also: editor's butt) so it's flat where it shouldn't be flat and pressed to the sides a little where it's supposed to meld into hips. It's my #1 physical insecurity, actually. It's not egregiously bad, though, nor anything remarkably ugly. I'd have to rate myself as a "Middlebrow 5 Butt" in all honesty. Maybe a 4? People who know my butt may weigh in without fear of offending me.

― remy (x Jeremy), Saturday, 17 December 2005 03:53 (eighteen years ago) link

It's absurd to suggest that rating yourself higher than 5 is suspicious - there are a bunch of women around here who are way above average on any reasonable measure of physical attractiveness, and three I've noticed on this thread who I would rate higher than they do, even though they marked themselves higher than 5. On similar lines to Sam, I am going to resist getting drawn into offering ass-rating scores for other people here.
-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), Yesterday 10:43 PM. (link)

always seems odd to discuss these matters in such a disinterested manner

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 17 December 2005 04:56 (eighteen years ago) link

7.795

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Saturday, 17 December 2005 08:49 (eighteen years ago) link

― vahid (vahid), Saturday, 17 December 2005 08:55 (eighteen years ago) link

5 (it's a nice enough shape apaprently, but at least two points knocked off for enduring spottiness, ugh)

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Saturday, 17 December 2005 09:51 (eighteen years ago) link

Amateurist, I am glad my attempt at being disinterested worked - it is very far from the truth, but different and more visceral reactions seem more appropriate for private communication. I've done my fair share - and probably more - of overt lusting after people on ILX, and I am trying to cut it way down.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 17 December 2005 10:17 (eighteen years ago) link

fuck it, 10

― vahid (vahid), Saturday, 17 December 2005 10:24 (eighteen years ago) link

One point higher than my brain: 19.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Saturday, 17 December 2005 10:35 (eighteen years ago) link

mary, that's insane.

― lauren (laurenp), Saturday, 17 December 2005 14:57 (eighteen years ago) link

― RJG (RJG), Saturday, 17 December 2005 15:08 (eighteen years ago) link

8.5

― Cathy (Cathy), Saturday, 17 December 2005 15:34 (eighteen years ago) link

men who remove their body hair are horrible, horrible people
What happens when you don't shave your armpits

― HH, Saturday, 17 December 2005 16:08 (eighteen years ago) link

7, it's not flabby at all, but the shape could be better.

― Jeff-Beetle (Jeff), Saturday, 17 December 2005 21:17 (eighteen years ago) link

oh and +/- 1 point depending on how you think hairness should rate.

― Jeff-Beetle (Jeff), Saturday, 17 December 2005 21:18 (eighteen years ago) link

We Jews are known for many things, but asses tend not to be one of our stron suits.

― [jailhouse tattoo] (nordicskilla), Saturday, 17 December 2005 21:39 (eighteen years ago) link

here' stron suit guy's ass:

ihttp://www.tronguy.net/TRONcostume/unipreb.jpg

― RJG (RJG), Saturday, 17 December 2005 23:10 (eighteen years ago) link

Really, Adam? I was under the impression that my ghetto bubble butt was one of my semitic traits.

― Jordan (Jordan), Saturday, 17 December 2005 23:52 (eighteen years ago) link

My ass is like -10.

― The Other Kate (papa november), Sunday, 18 December 2005 00:30 (eighteen years ago) link

TV MA V, S, L

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Sunday, 18 December 2005 02:45 (eighteen years ago) link

i give mine an 8.

but how is this not a pic thread yet?

― geoff (gcannon), Sunday, 18 December 2005 02:52 (eighteen years ago) link

You don't really want that, do you? Apart from Luna?

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 18 December 2005 02:53 (eighteen years ago) link

"It's the hairy bobbin' man ass that adults know and love!"

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 18 December 2005 02:54 (eighteen years ago) link

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Sunday, 18 December 2005 02:54 (eighteen years ago) link

According to my wife, my ass and legs are my best physical features. Just don't look above the waistband of my shorts.

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 18 December 2005 03:05 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh, alright, fine.

http://giganticmag.com/images/ilx/ass1.jpg

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 18 December 2005 03:14 (eighteen years ago) link

nice!

― Juulia (julesbdules), Sunday, 18 December 2005 03:38 (eighteen years ago) link

jesus wept

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 18 December 2005 03:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Scrawny-looking thing.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 18 December 2005 03:57 (eighteen years ago) link

That picture is a dangerous weapon in the hands of someone with Paint Shop Pro, too.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 18 December 2005 03:59 (eighteen years ago) link

fuck you, ILE

― gear (gear), Sunday, 18 December 2005 04:04 (eighteen years ago) link

so glad i am reading this thread backwards

― kephm (kephm), Sunday, 18 December 2005 04:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Paunchy, you have a very nice ass. I on the other hand am a member of the no butt club. Never had one – don’t have the genetic predisposition to have a good butt. It’s simply a flat ass, no matter how much working the gluts get at the gym. I guess it’s better than a fat ass, although thanks to those currently in fashion beyonce and Mariah carey fat asses or junk in the trunk is all the rage. I have faith that it will swing back the other direction sometime soon though!

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Sunday, 18 December 2005 04:43 (eighteen years ago) link

Woah! People be showin' arse here ya'll!

― Halloween Spooky Party Hints! (Bimble...), Sunday, 18 December 2005 04:46 (eighteen years ago) link

you were right to ask, earlier, kenan, whether i really wanted that

― geoff (gcannon), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:02 (eighteen years ago) link

I know.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:25 (eighteen years ago) link

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000001DUW.01._SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Paunchy has an ass. We look at it.

― Halloween Spooky Party Hints! (Bimble...), Sunday, 18 December 2005 06:32 (eighteen years ago) link

my other ass is a ferrari

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 18 December 2005 16:03 (eighteen years ago) link

Where would I be right now without the "hide images" option? I don't even want to think about it...

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Sunday, 18 December 2005 16:41 (eighteen years ago) link

I dunno, my sister has always said my arse is bigger than hers, but in the last year three different people have told me it is quite good and only one of those people had an interest in getting into my knickers so I'm going with a 5.5, or a 6 if I wear a particular pair of trousers.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:15 (eighteen years ago) link

I forgot that most of you don't know my sister, so that part of what I said means nothing to you. I'll just say that her arse ain't small.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:17 (eighteen years ago) link

ILE has reached rock bottom! haha!

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:30 (eighteen years ago) link

Jesus, guys. It's not THAT bad an ass.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 18 December 2005 18:30 (eighteen years ago) link

That pic looks like an ad for a movie called Tainted Desires or Always Taken, Never Given

― dali madison's nut (donut), Sunday, 18 December 2005 19:23 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.laist.com/images/notintobushprods.jpg

― gear (gear), Sunday, 18 December 2005 19:27 (eighteen years ago) link

ten years pass...

a 4.35 and in perpetual decline

― Neanderthal, Friday, 30 September 2016 06:25 (seven years ago) link

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