CNN Reports Italian Media Reports Pope Dead

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sheesh.

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 17:26 (nineteen years ago) link

dude huck how many threads do we need?

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:27 (nineteen years ago) link

sorry.

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 17:28 (nineteen years ago) link

well this is the real, real, real one

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:28 (nineteen years ago) link

CNN Analysts dismisses Italian Media and Reuters now as hacks.

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 17:29 (nineteen years ago) link

I was looking for confirmation & no one had it up yet. So I checked the Christian Science Monitor. They don't even mention that he was sick. Bravo, actually.

Anyway, nice knowin ya, JP. RIP.

― dave225 (Dave225), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:30 (nineteen years ago) link

CNN correspondent says only Spanish Cardinal can make official announcement.

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 17:31 (nineteen years ago) link

CNN correspondent calls it "important and delicate story."

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 17:31 (nineteen years ago) link

Pope responds :"S'a crock of shit"

― Frogman Henry, Friday, 1 April 2005 17:32 (nineteen years ago) link

This is bumming my day.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:33 (nineteen years ago) link

"agonal respirations"

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 17:33 (nineteen years ago) link

"Agonal respirations", aka "Cheyne-Stokes breathing", aka "death rattle".

In the final hour or so before death, it is typical for the dying person to breathe in croaking, shuddering gasps, widely-spaced. (If you lived in the Middle Ages, you'd have known all about this by the age of 20.)

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:39 (nineteen years ago) link

" The camerlengo, now Cardinal Eduardo Martinez Somalo of Spain, must then verify the death — a process which in the past was done by striking the forehead of the pope with a silver hammer."

Will someone please pass away WITH DIGNITY this week?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:40 (nineteen years ago) link

it TOOK a tough man to make a tender chicken

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:46 (nineteen years ago) link

This is bumming my day.
Was this meant for the "Guys who stare really ostentatiously at a girl's ass after she passes him on the sidewalk - C/D" thread?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:47 (nineteen years ago) link

Officials reported that the Pope was dead. The Pope was then transferred to a better, more expensive hospital, where his condition was upgraded to "alive".

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:48 (nineteen years ago) link

CNN: HE LIVES!

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 17:50 (nineteen years ago) link

IT"S A MIRACLE!

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:51 (nineteen years ago) link

CNN: Italian Media r all gay.

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 17:52 (nineteen years ago) link

First MSNBC's banner said Pope is unconscious. Now it says his condition has worsened!

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:54 (nineteen years ago) link

As an Italian News Service was attempting to listen in to the Vatican announcement, the translator was cut off and a English-speaking woman blurted out "Hello! The Pope is Dead!" At this point word had not been given that he was gone, the woman was clearly not a reporter but a young producer. This feed cut into Fox News coverage and her reaction echoed over the proceedings.

Fox News correspondent Shephard Smith was astounded at the way in which the announcement was made. He said "our technology sometimes gets ahead of us." Fox immediately cut from the conference to salvage as much of the dignity as they could of the announcement.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Il Finnochio

Venerdi' 1 Aprile

IL PAPA STA MORENDO

CRONACHE
I cardinali
in arrivo a Roma
da tutto il mondo
Sono 117 i porporati pronti per il conclave
I cardinali del Sacro
Collegio hanno cominciato ad affluire a Roma e in Vaticano alla notizia dell'aggravamento delle condizioni del Papa. Una urgenza dovuta in primo luogo al precipitare delle condizioni di salute del pontefice. La residenza dove i cardinali troveranno alloggio è quella di Santa Marta; una struttura all'interno della Città del Vaticano, recentemente ristrutturata e che costituirà la loro residenza in tutto il periodo del conclave.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:55 (nineteen years ago) link

My High School Newspaper Reports That the Local University Newspaper Reports That Their News Editor Glanced Across the Room at the FAX Machine at Saw What Appeared to Be an AP Wire Report About the Pope Dying But May Have Just Been an Update on His Fragile Health

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:55 (nineteen years ago) link

a English-speaking woman blurted out "Hello! The Pope is Dead!"

I hope she said it this way: "uh, like hellll-o! the pope is dead!"

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:56 (nineteen years ago) link

it's just an expression

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:57 (nineteen years ago) link

Do I like grapes? Is the Pope dead?

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 17:57 (nineteen years ago) link

The Pope is Dead could be very good name for a Smiths cover band right now.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:58 (nineteen years ago) link

I hope he has one of those living wills prepared.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:58 (nineteen years ago) link

if he did they woulda taken out the feeding tube by now

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 17:59 (nineteen years ago) link

ok this is getting kinda bizarre now

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:04 (nineteen years ago) link

This has never been explained to my satisfaction:

The pope is essentially G-d's messenger on earth. He is closer to G-d than any other Catholic. However, the pope is elected -- by human beings -- amid loads of church politics. In every biblical story (new and old testaments) G-d chooses who will represent Him on earth. But when it comes to choosing a pope, Catholics are supposed to believe that humans can choose a messenger and G-d is like "OK, I can work with this. This guy perhaps wasn't my first pick, but all right, I can get behind this choice".

This makes no sense to me.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:05 (nineteen years ago) link

You Jews are very funny.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:08 (nineteen years ago) link

G@d is behind the politics and voting. It's G@d's will that a certain ~~president~~pope is elected.

― dave225 (Dave225), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:08 (nineteen years ago) link

precisely

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:12 (nineteen years ago) link

Are you guys afraid yhwh will google himself and show up here posting raunchy pictures from his college days?

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 18:15 (nineteen years ago) link

For cryin' out loud, THE MAN IS 84 This is what 84 year old men do...THEY DIE! Why are we all hanging on a fucking thread about this?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:16 (nineteen years ago) link

It's Friday, we're bored.

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 18:17 (nineteen years ago) link

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:17 (nineteen years ago) link

News Flash!!

84 year old Polish man dying in Vatican. Vatican officials perplexed. More soon.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:18 (nineteen years ago) link

Age old story. We powerless little people are always fascinated by the doings up in the Great Manor House. Also, it's a story with a moral. Massive wealth and power are not able to stave off death. Even God's elect still fall over dead.

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:21 (nineteen years ago) link

But death brings the fulfillment of God's Promise, so why be so sad?

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 18:29 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't think the pope gets enough credit for inventing the popemobile.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:30 (nineteen years ago) link

give the crazy muslim guy some credit, n/a.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 1 April 2005 18:31 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.big-pix.com/images/poster_gifs/d-pope.jpg

― David Merryweather (DavidM), Friday, 1 April 2005 19:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Canadian print news media wants this done soon, because we don't have Sunday papers, so if it's not ready for Saturday's paper, print will look lame.

― Huk-L, Friday, 1 April 2005 19:49 (nineteen years ago) link

eleven years pass...

Fuck, missed this.

RIP loved a lot of his earlied work tho it probably wasnt canon

― Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Saturday, 28 May 2016 20:04 (seven years ago) link

He was no Hans Koschnick tho.

― Larry 'Leg' Smith (Tom D.), Saturday, 28 May 2016 20:18 (seven years ago) link

Hans has had his day let me mourn

― Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Saturday, 28 May 2016 20:33 (seven years ago) link

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