My secret technique for not tipping bartenders and getting good service.

Here's an easy recipe for making and drinking a Blow Job.

Difficulty Level: Easy Time Required: 5 minutes

Here's How:

1. Get a Pony or slender Shot glass.
2. Pour in 1/3 oz. Kahlua.
3. Layer 1/3 oz. of Baileys.
4. Layer 1/3 oz. Vodka.
5. Top with Whipped Cream and a Maraschino Cherry.
6. Serve to imbiber.
7. Imbiber must not use hands to drink this shot.
8. Place mouth over shot and with lips lift shot up to drink.
9. Put glass back on bar and show no hands were used.

Tips:

1. Use the highest quality ingredients you can.
2. The higher the whipped cream, the more difficult this is.
3. Leave the stem on the cherry for more difficulty.

e.g. fuck her in the ass later

Hey, what about this system at a bar that you frequent? Everyone has "their bar" and mine just happens to be walking distance and a lil 'trendy and faggoty' but i've tipped good in the past and i get free drinks now.

this theory is only good for one time stops, not a bar you go back to.

not always true. if you work as a waiter or bartender, your boss is allowed to pay you much less than the minimum wage. if you want more you have to make it in tips.

I rilly enjoy the work of anonymous googlist arseholes, I think they must be the coolest people in the world.

And as Cindy says, legally they only have to be paid $2.13 an hour. Some places pay barstaff minimum wage, some don't. (Service bar is a different situation as well, if it's a restaurant) And presumably some pay much better depending on the clientele, but not that I've encountered.

You mean like barbers? I had a short-lived barback job earlier this yeah, and it was fucking grueling. Of course, the barback is everybody's little bitch, and this was at a club that would get fucking slammed til 4 AM. There was one night where on two separate occasions customers puked directly on the bar and guess who got to clean it up? I used bleach to clean it, and one of the bartenders was like, "I don't think you should be using toxic chemicals to clean that up." Oh yeah, some warm water will take care of any nasty pathogens on this surface that we're serving food and drinks off of.

You sir, and here I address the thread-starter, are an unpleasant human being.

I think that's spelled T-R-O-L-L.

I hope, and I mean this in the kindest way possible, that you realise it's just an internet comedy character

:emo:

I worked at a bars as a cook for years, and sometimes had to sub-in on like an oddly busy Sunday nite when there was only one bartender on. I was completely clusterfucked and ovewhelmed...

Put it this way, everybody can come up with any kind of fancy-ass theories about tipping they want to, why you should, why the fact that your obliged to now is bullshit, how much money bartenders make, why you shouldn't have to subsidize successful bars who essentially don't pay their employees a liveable wage and expect you to do that for them, how overpriced beer and drinks are at bars anyway, blah blah blah....BUT THIS IS CRUCIAL:

YOU HAVE A CHOICE IN LIFE ABOUT WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU ARE GOING TO BE:

A GOOD TIPPER (NOT OVERTIPPER, BUT A REASONABLE 20 PERCENTER)

OR

A BAD TIPPER

This will define the kind of person you are in life, in my experience. seriously. Have some fucking class, get over it, and tip.

If you are tipping between 15 and 20 percent and any waiter/bartender whatever as some fancy place makes you feel like it's not enough and your being shabby in some way - fuck them - that's perfectly reasonable and you have absolutely no reason to tip more than that, unless you decide you feel like it for whatever reason....

imagine going through life being THAT person.

Case in point: today I had two elderly ladies who shared a house salad and a soup. That's a fucking 5 dollar meal. And then they sat at the table for over an hour.

Maybe people don't realize this, but restaurants are divided into sections. I had a three table section today, so if you are eating sitting at my table for over an hour, you are COSTING me money, because I could have other people there who will actually tip.

And 20% of 5 dollars? Fucking please.

Here's another tip for restaurant goers - there's a little thing called tipout. The restaurant takes a certain percentage of the money we make to pay the bartenders, dishwashers, busboys, etc. So, if you leave without tipping, or tip around 5%, we've actually lost money serving you. We had to pay for the joy of serving you. What kind of fucked up system is that?

-- Mickey (mi...), November 14th, 2005 2:10 PM. (later)

Mention to the restaurant owner to start selling the meals and beverages you prepare there for a good deal more than the basic ingredients cost. The extra moneys received can be used to pay for staff, and even turn over what's known in the business as 'profit'.

I have never heard of this 'tipout' though. It sounds like what a 'ho' gives to her 'pimp'.

Sasha, the business model is perfect for the restaurant owner. They pay a lot less since us servers pay so many of their employees, and they get a lot more customers because the food is so cheap.

You have no idea how many ghetto motherfuckers come into a restaurant like mine, order a 13 oz steak, the biggest margarita we have, and a fucking slice of cake, and then leave you a dollar and fifty cent tip. For the owner of the restaurant -- that works fine. For me, it doesn't.

No, thanks. I like making money.

that's not just the ghetto motherfuckers, it's EVERYONE who goes to chain restaurants. not very sophisticated diners.

The guy who asked if he could pay for his ribs with food stamps is.

"Yo. Hey, yo, boss. You bringing out any bread? Oh, it cost a dollar fifty? Naw, I'm not interested." -- ghetto motherfucker.

"It cost fifty cent for cheese on the salad? No, I don't want it." -- ghetto motherfucker.

"Yeah, that's all I'm ordering. Oh, my son? No he's not hungry." -- ghetto motherfucker.

"I don't like these fries. Can I get another side? [after 9/10th of the fries are ate]" -- ghetto motherfucker.

"Yo, does the queso dip come with that cheese sauce too?" -- ghetto motherfucker.

"Five waters for us. Kids drinks are free, right? Get him a coke." -- ghetto motherfucker.

"It says here, 'Sandwiches come with fries, red beans and rice, or cole slaw.' So why are you only giving me one side? It says right here I get three. What? Let me see your manager." -- ghetto motherfucker.

I hope that clears it up!

are you giving the ghetto mofos good service?

"Can I get the Tripple Threat?" (Tripple Treat...)

and my all time favorite.

"Hey, yo, man. I think there's no alcohol in my virgin margarita. I can't taste it."

"Actually, nevermind. I want to change my order, I need to eat healthy. I'm going to have the Tripple Treat."

You know what it is? Three fried chicken tenders, three fried mozarella sticks, and three beef nachos. I was at a loss for words.

xp HAHA that's a tripple threat alright.

She ordered a lemonade and drank the entire thing, plus a second one. Then she wanted a coffee. She was outraged that I charged for two drinks and demanded to see the manager.

this is the only really offensive one (but who knows, maybe the kid WASN'T hungry!)

I just hate a certain portion of our clientele that makes the job hell at times.

So I threw a good chunk into the tip jar and left. THAT'S where sensible tipping will get you in this country.

someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.

WHy would you stop someone doing something that is kinder than what would usually occur?

(so I often end up tipping anyway)

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9 works of work
39 dollars of tips
7 people I considered murdering

people, tip your fucking servers.