Insufferable cunts

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Do you ever find yourself speaking to/performing for the most insufferable cunt in the room, despite yourself? Anecdotes helpful.

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

You talkin to me, Tracer?

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yeah, I once talked to the most insufferable cunt in Worcester once. Or, rather, he talked to me.
Me: 17 yr old working as porter in hotel. The Conservative Party of Great Britan [Worc branch] were having a 'do'.
It was MY job to stand by the door to stop any of the great unhosed from entering the room where TORY SKUM were quaffing chamagne and stuffing food into their sneery, smug fuck, spittle-flecked gobs.
One grey-faced old winner comes up to me and begins to engage in conversation. His opening gambit:
"How are you doing?"
pleasent enough, I think.
"I'm fine thankyou" I reply. He looks cross.
"No, I mean how is the company doing? The hotel?" he snaps.
Oh right, I thought he was asking after my health, like any polite person would. Instead he was only interested in how much profit the fucking hotel was making. Like: 'How are you doing' = 'how much money are you making'. I was really taken aback by that. I muttered something and, sensing he wouldn't get a conversation out of me, he grunted and stalked off. I've never forgotten that. it just struck me as... not good.

― DavidM, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Stand up every taxi trip I've ever taken. Racism, homophobia, whatever else being said. And grrrr I usually just nod and smile cos I have to get home.

― Ronan, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I didn't make myself clear. Imagine a room full of people. You are in that room. You find yourself trying to please the insufferable cunt! You are directing your energies there! Why! (btw I think this explains a lot of my romantic past)

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I think I have doen that at some point in thee past, Tracer, but I can't remember the specificks too clearly. Perhaps thee c*nt was so unspeakable that I have supressed the memory & it would have to be brought out under hypnosis. What I usually get instead is someone who appears normal, bua as conversaion progresses U realise that he's (it's always as he, as well) a complete mentalist and there is no escape.

― Norman Phay, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yep not quite it either. I'm thinking more along the lines of a former co-worker of mine who put out terrible CDs of himself singing morosely, never ever "relaxed" and who, when you talked to him, always seemed like he was putting you under the microscope, but never for any interesting reason. Everything was a distant joke to him (which if several stories I have heard about him since are true, covered a yawning insecurity) - YET in his company I would adjust everything in order to win his favor.

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Mostly I think the insufferable ones pick *me* out of the crowd to attach to or attack. Especially drunken South Jersey mouth-breathers at 4 am on the train. Fuckers.

― Pyth, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i don't know how relevant this is but when i was 12 there was a new girl in my class who was very quiet shy and square. i didn't like her but i had a kind of fascination with wanting to impress her, in some way i didn't understand - like i wanted to shock her or something. i always tried to maneuver so i'd be within her view when pashing my boyfriend, though she repulsed me. i notice a similar type of buried tendency in me these days that i think relates (just slightly) to the sort of thing i think tracer means.

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I find it curious this is posted the day after our meet up, Tracer. Cough it up, you think Ramon is an insufferable cunt, don't you? I saw the way you ran to get him water, despite his attitude. You can be honest. I won't tell.

― Ally, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I don't think I've ever really done this, Tracer. I had a really unbearable friend once and I would put up with a lot of shit from her (ignoring me to hang out with "famous" people, then dragging me around the club by the hand like I was her little gay pet, endlessly talking about people I'd never met who'd fucked her over, wearing me out with her intricate plans for world domination) but she was extremely smart and funny and I could tell she really appreciated the fact that I put up with her. And 50% of the time I really, really liked her. I wonder where she is now?

So, that's about as close as I get.

― Arthur, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I'm suprised that the image of the water glasses is so vivid! I had forgotten it. He wanted water from the bar because I was going! FITE! :) YES Ramon's "thing" was part of why I thought of this. But I don't think he's an insufferable cunt, Ally. I think he tries to pull off an impression of one from time to time. But the impression is so bad that you just want to scratch him on the head.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Wow Arthur I know her!

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"Stand up every taxi trip I've ever taken. Racism, homophobia, whatever else being said. And grrrr I usually just nod and smile cos I have to get home."

Martin Amis puts his, ah, protagonist in Money out on the side of 1st Avenue and 99th Street after bickering with a cunt of a cab driver. But that was 20 years ago. Most NYC cab drivers I have are from South Asia or West Africa, though, and I don't hear them articulating crackpot race theories.

Ally, does Ramon always dress like a circa 1985 right-on student radical, replete with beret and Leninist badge? I'm not saying he's a cunt, I'm just wondering if he was putting us on.

― Benjamin, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Ramon was indeed insufferable.

― Sterling Clover, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Is Ramons last name 'Smith'? Does he consider himself a hem hem, 'citizen'? If he lived in London would it be on the southern end of the Northern Line, zone three? *whistles*

― Sarah, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

awwwww, foxy. fancy a cup of tea?

― chris, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I do it on purpose. As may be becoming clear, my amusement stems not from normal sources. Often I feel sorry for idiotic people, or I want to see if they're real. At work, I talk to really fucking stupid people all the time. It's quite interesting to see how long I can keep going before they want to leave.

― alix, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Ramon always dresses like that. He's only kidding with you, Tracer, you know it's love. Can't say as much for with other people at the table - Sterling, you aren't exactly a prize yourself. We all love Jimmy the Mod though, his sweater was fantastic.

― Ally, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

It took me a very long time to notice that Citizen Smith is also, in fact, the dad in 'My Family' on BBC1. Oh dear. But yeah, Arthur, think I find myself in that situation occasionally, even though I adore the person as well. Not sure how that reflects on me. Don't want to consider it. But it's why I won't go anywhere with friends where there might be *people I don't know* - fear and them half- ignoring me when I might have actually wanted to *gasp* speak to them...

― Bill, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Now, unlike Tracer, I think that PRETENDING to be a cunt is actually worse than being a cunt. If you're a complete ass, fine, be that way. However, if you're simply shy / reclusive / insecure and act like an asshole ... well, damn it, just get over it & be yourself. It's tough, sure, but there's no need to piss off other folks because you're feeling awkward. There's a fine line between these two states - I'm only noting this because I fear, at times, that my reclusive, steel-trap-shut nature, is often confused for being a priggish stuck-up twat. That twat-like nature might be in full effect, but I'll try like hell to sugarcoat it. (It worked on Tracer, ha ha.)

Maybe this need to impress the cunt is just a manifestation of the "play hard to get" hypotheses - that is, you want the person that's not forthcoming with the love over the affable, easy-to-like people.

Ramon asked me twice if I had actually said something ("sassy" / "sweet"); I said I did. He shrugged and went back to complaining about Twin Peaks or some shit.

― David Raposa, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I asked him and Otis to act like that as a barrier between me and someone who honestly scares the shit out of me and then someone who honestly irritates the fuck out of me. Oddly, neither of them (meaning O-Town or Ben Horne) were particularly on, nor was I, which is unfortunate, and I think a rescheduling should take place immediately. And poor Tracer was hungover as hell, he'd certainly have been much more prepared if he wasn't so sick. YOU DON'T DRINK BEFOREHAND NEXT TIME MISTER SMOKES WOOD CIGARETTES.

― Ally, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I usually *am* the most unsufferable cunt in the room. Sadly, tho, no one performs for me.

― Mandee, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I got off lucky; I just found out that a friend of mine's in the hospital as a result of Friday night. OK granted he was somewhere else, but he was somewhere else on purpose to not be around people I was with. Sunday he was found without shirt or shoes and bleeding from his mouth and his cousin drove him to Long Island. In that situation do you inform the girl who just broke up with him last week? We did. It was a hard thing to tell.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Its usually me when Im drunk or Im the guy talking to them when Im not drunk.

― Mr Noodles, Monday, 14 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

one year passes...

REVIVE because Ramon really was an insufferable cunt.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 17 April 2003 01:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

Picket Fences?!!! - was he a big David Kelly fan in general?

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 17 April 2003 01:33 (twenty-one years ago) link

He wasn't the one who brought up Picket Fences (look upthread for me making a nasty very brief rebuttal to someone else) (look at this post right here for me inexplicably not just saying STERLING CLOVER)

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 17 April 2003 01:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

haha!

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 17 April 2003 01:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

PS - Fyvush Finkel.

There's a sentence in my post up thar that makes absolutely no sense.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 17 April 2003 01:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

FYVUSH FINKEL!!!!!!!

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 17 April 2003 01:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

I think the best part of this thread is the part in which David actually admits to using both the words "sassy" and "sweet" in conversation. He barely said three things that night, and two of them were "sassy" and "sweet".

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 17 April 2003 01:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

I was intimidated by Ramon's beret.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 17 April 2003 02:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

Okay y'know I wasn't trying to be rockist or anti-rockist or whatthefuckever with picket fences. I just genuinely liked the show and thought it got suburban weirdness down in a nice way. What the fuck am I missing about why that's so weird? Did I accidentally step on some cult of Lynch or something?

Anyway what I remember from that FAP is some soft-racist jibe from Ramon mostly, along the lines of the following conversation:

Ally: (some story involving weird people watching her or something)... a-and they were *mexicans*!
JM: Mexicans, so?
Ramon: At least they weren't puerto ricans.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 17 April 2003 04:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

that guy does sound like an insufferable cunt

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 17 April 2003 04:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

did he write for vice or something?

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 17 April 2003 04:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

six months pass...

That conversation about the Mexicans and Puerto Ricans never happened.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 5 November 2003 18:55 (twenty years ago) link

no, not yet

― David. (Cozen), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 19:01 (twenty years ago) link

I want royalties for the phrase "insufferable cunt".

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 19:09 (twenty years ago) link

You will be paid in Reeses.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 19:15 (twenty years ago) link

Kill me.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 19:16 (twenty years ago) link

This thread title is really funny if you use it to replace "Devil inside" every time it occurs in the INXS song

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 19:31 (twenty years ago) link

Ditto for Prince's "Irresistable Bitch".

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 19:32 (twenty years ago) link

two years pass...

― ----, Saturday, 26 November 2005 00:55 (eighteen years ago) link

your period remarks don't stem the fact that this thread was created solely in response to tracer hand meeting my ex.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Saturday, 26 November 2005 02:57 (eighteen years ago) link

was sterling clover being a pre-emptive capn save a ho?

― gear (gear), Saturday, 26 November 2005 03:07 (eighteen years ago) link

four months pass...

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Thursday, 13 April 2006 14:26 (eighteen years ago) link

this was really kind of a brilliant question.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 13 April 2006 14:40 (eighteen years ago) link

Wow, I was mad about something that day, huh?

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 13 April 2006 14:43 (eighteen years ago) link

Actually I think I remember why: apparently a girl reading a book while waiting for the train really really wants you to interrupt her, ie she's only reading because she doesn't have anything BETTER to do.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 13 April 2006 14:44 (eighteen years ago) link

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 13 April 2006 14:50 (eighteen years ago) link

the initial question describes my past four years on ilx so well!

― jodias of sunhillow (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 13 April 2006 14:54 (eighteen years ago) link

high fives :D

xpost hahaha

― Sassyzay Rofflessweet (allyzay), Thursday, 13 April 2006 14:55 (eighteen years ago) link

oh yeah, that thread. right, no one really wants to read, our books are just props/mating calls/etc.

― jodias of sunhillow (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 13 April 2006 14:56 (eighteen years ago) link

I can identify with this thread; I have a mental affliction whereby I want absolutely everyone to like me, even if I can't stand them.

― chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Thursday, 13 April 2006 14:56 (eighteen years ago) link

smug cunts.

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 13 April 2006 15:03 (eighteen years ago) link

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