WORLD CUP DOOM: Make pessimistic predictions in the hope that by making them, they won't then actually happen

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Never believed in the "don't tempt fate" line myself. Whenever I make a quite specific prediction, it never happens.

So:

1. Owen will get sent off for diving.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 5 June 2006 11:43 (seventeen years ago) link

2. Totti will be banned for spitting.

― Crimea River (Mark C), Monday, 5 June 2006 11:46 (seventeen years ago) link

England will not win the world cup

― Dave B (daveb), Monday, 5 June 2006 11:46 (seventeen years ago) link

3. England winning.

Hah I beat you dadaismus!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 11:47 (seventeen years ago) link

4. England win the world cup. (runs away)

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 5 June 2006 11:47 (seventeen years ago) link

5. Beer in stadiums will be as bad an idea in practice as it sounds in theory.

(astonishingly, I knew 3/4 was coming)

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 5 June 2006 11:50 (seventeen years ago) link

6. Lippi decides that Toni and Gilardino don't have enough "big tournament experience", and instead plays a frontline of Inzaghi and Del Piero.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 5 June 2006 11:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh god Dom it couldn't happen, really, could it? *shoots self*

― Crimea River (Mark C), Monday, 5 June 2006 11:55 (seventeen years ago) link

England makes it through the first round.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 5 June 2006 11:56 (seventeen years ago) link

are people missing the point to this question? or do a lot of ilxors hate england?

8. the usual barny of going out on penalties in the second round - losing to Germany.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Monday, 5 June 2006 12:02 (seventeen years ago) link

9. Kenwyne Jones spends the entire tournament on the bench.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 5 June 2006 12:06 (seventeen years ago) link

10. Losing our first game, i think this could be the most depressing thing ever.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Monday, 5 June 2006 12:08 (seventeen years ago) link

Predictable of course but the absolute worst thing for me would be England losing to Germany in the second round on penalties. Worse than going out to Poland, Argentina, Brazil etc.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 5 June 2006 12:11 (seventeen years ago) link

are people missing the point to this question? or do a lot of ilxors hate england?

A "lot" of Ilxors are fucking Guineas.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 5 June 2006 12:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Chance'd be a fine thing.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 5 June 2006 12:18 (seventeen years ago) link

Peter Crouch breaks his meta-tarsal doing the robot dance.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 5 June 2006 12:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Mentions of 1966.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 12:28 (seventeen years ago) link

There's a lot of people who really don't want England to win. Or 'celts' as they are sometimes known.

― Dave B (daveb), Monday, 5 June 2006 12:30 (seventeen years ago) link

Dom's slash-fic prediction for the U.S. from the other thread will be OTM.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 5 June 2006 12:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Ukraine play at the top of their game and beat Spain...
And then go on to lose to Tunisia and Saudi Arabia.

― pleased to mitya (mitya), Monday, 5 June 2006 15:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Germany qualify second from their group, so England and Sweden play a farce of a match, each trying to lose to avoid the hosts in the last 16. FIFA chucks both teams out, Paraguay and T&T go thru, riots on the streets, etc, etc.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 5 June 2006 15:28 (seventeen years ago) link

The entire ~~National~~ english media is unbearable.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 5 June 2006 15:43 (seventeen years ago) link

There's a lot of people who really don't want England to win. Or 'celts' as they are sometimes known.

See also Americans, Italians, Spaniards etc. Difficult a concept as it is for some to visualise, some other countries that aren't England are (1) represented on ILX and (2) playing in the World Cup.

My predictions: Henrik Larsson will be rubbish, completely fail to find the form that turned around the Champions League final and will move back home to Sweden in the summer a complete and utter abject failure and a figure of public ridicule. Majiec Zurawski won't score at all for Poland, and Artur Boruc will let in about 20 at the other end. Oh, yeah, and England will actually win a penalty shootout.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 5 June 2006 15:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Murphy's Law is recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't make it work.

― Courtney Gidts (ex machina), Monday, 5 June 2006 16:00 (seventeen years ago) link

It's only a bit of fun, jon.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 5 June 2006 16:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Another Brazil v. Germany final.

― M. White (Miguelito), Monday, 5 June 2006 16:55 (seventeen years ago) link

The world cup will last forever.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 5 June 2006 17:33 (seventeen years ago) link

England will win the world cup

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 5 June 2006 17:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Holland will fukk upp again...

― tiit (tiit), Monday, 5 June 2006 18:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Big Brother and the World Cup will somehow merge into each other.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 5 June 2006 18:31 (seventeen years ago) link

...into the Big Brother World Cup?
(o the abhorrorverse)

― tiit (tiit), Monday, 5 June 2006 18:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Too late:
http://www.mobilemag.com/content/100/104/C8117/

― schwantz (schwantz), Monday, 5 June 2006 22:17 (seventeen years ago) link

Nazis take over.
I start cheering on England's every opponent, just because. Riquelme does what I suspect he might do.
Zidane dies of a heart attack in the first game.

― Ally C (Ally C), Monday, 5 June 2006 22:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Well, not the FIRST game, obviously. Although that would be terrible, too.

― Ally C (Ally C), Monday, 5 June 2006 22:37 (seventeen years ago) link

ian wright remains a regular pundit on the beeb for the duration of the tournament.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 5 June 2006 22:41 (seventeen years ago) link

Scotland win the World Cup.

Oh, hang on...

Brazil win the World Cup (that's better).

― David Orton (scarlet), Monday, 5 June 2006 22:55 (seventeen years ago) link

them Germ''s, them be winnin' & winnin' & winnin'

― tiit (tiit), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 09:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Re: 1. You can't be sent off just for diving. It's a caution for unsporting behaviour (simulation). It's a red card for spitting though.

― caek (caek), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 10:25 (seventeen years ago) link

I was thinking of it being a "second bookable offence". Two dives in quick succession, perhaps.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 11:10 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.picturetrunk.com/uploads/1cfe5fc67d.jpg

they will act like they were on holiday, and drink, and sex it up, and be too tired to even make it out of their group

― nicky lo-fi (nicky lo-fi), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 23:57 (seventeen years ago) link

ACTUALLY - I have started hoping that England win, because it will annoy all the football fans here.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 12:22 (seventeen years ago) link

OH YEAH POOR ENGLAND NATL TEAM, SO PERSECUTED ON ILX, HI DERE

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 12:27 (seventeen years ago) link

I think he meant here in the 'actually here' sense rather than the ILX sense.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 12:31 (seventeen years ago) link

OKAY THEN SORRY FOR BEING ANOTHER AMERICAN JERKOFF

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 13:42 (seventeen years ago) link

englaterra will also fukk upp again

― tiit (tiit), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 13:55 (seventeen years ago) link

I think he meant here in the 'actually here' sense rather than the ILX sense.

SRIGHT. In the non-virtual physical locality in which I spend much of my time.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 14:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Harry Kewell and Tim Cahill will both limp off in separate, innocuous incidents within half an hour of kick-off in game 1 not to be seen again.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 8 June 2006 01:45 (seventeen years ago) link

Harry Kewell leaving the pitch with an ill-defined injury within 30 minutes of a major match kicking off? What kinda crazy talk is that?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 8 June 2006 01:48 (seventeen years ago) link

"Peter Crouch breaks his meta-tarsal doing the robot dance."

Some kind of grief happening to PC preventing him from wasting space on the pitch would improve England's chances, surely?

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 8 June 2006 03:04 (seventeen years ago) link

Iran Vs. Angola is the game of the tournament.

― MitchellStirling (MitchellStirling), Thursday, 8 June 2006 07:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Someone stamps on Rooney's foot.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 8 June 2006 08:14 (seventeen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Ecuador becomes a byword for English failure at football.

― Alba (Alba), Sunday, 25 June 2006 12:30 (seventeen years ago) link

Scarily enough, most of my predictions actually did come true. Bah.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 25 June 2006 12:36 (seventeen years ago) link

1. Owen will get sent off for diving.

Oh, the ironing.

― Half loaf, half pompadour (noodle vague), Sunday, 25 June 2006 12:38 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael Carrick gets mugged for Ecuador's winner.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 25 June 2006 13:06 (seventeen years ago) link

EVERYONE WILL BE KILLED!

http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2006/06/world_cup_death_3.html

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 26 June 2006 19:42 (seventeen years ago) link

England 0 Portugal 1 (Ronaldo '20)

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 22:12 (seventeen years ago) link

England will play really well and lose.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 22:15 (seventeen years ago) link

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