what was the shittiest thing you did as a teenager?

how d'ya know I do that?

ILXors be stalkin'...

Thank god!!!

Your 40s are going to riotous then, when you have your mid-life crisis.

you've done it wrong.

But I can't remember a thing of these terrible things I must have done.

I was suspended multiple times. Oooh, I'm so scared. You've been so bad that YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL FOR A WEEK. Excellent.

There was this kid at school who was "the school piss-taker", probably on in every school year. He was giving me a hard time about something, probably clothes related, cos he was a fashion snob type, and I was a borderline skinhead. I jumped up onto his desk and kicked him in his face pretty hard, there was fucking blood everywhere. Probably lucky I didn't break his jaw or nose, or knock any of his teeth out! That's probably the worst thing I did. I don't really regret it, he was an obnoxious shithead who made a bunch of other kids lives a misery. It didn't stop him taking the piss out of me, though! I fucking hated school. I was a right little battler.

I just didn't go to classes, if I didn't like them. In fact, if I really didn't like the teacher, I'd make a point of getting up and walking out.

Sometimes I went home, but mostly I just went to the library and sat in the back and read, or else went to the art room and painted.

Little things would add up. I'd get a detention for cutting class. (Especially Gym, I could never see the point of that.) And then I couldn't be bothered to go to detention. If you skip detentions, they double your sentence. So I'd end up with 32, 64 detentions within a week or two. So I'd get suspended for that.

Honestly, though, I'm trying to remember what I was expelled for in the end.

At aged 15 I was suspended from school for two days for bullying another pupil - said "bullying" actually involved writing "Dear Bollocks, Happy Christmas" in a Christmas card viewed by his mum, and including a picture of him as a giant penis. It would've been alright if I hadn't continued to wind him up after getting in trouble the first time. Mercifully, he turned up in the pub a few times last year and is a right cockfarmer these days, so I feel justified.

Aged 16 I kissed a girl I met on holiday, and then a few minutes later kissed her more attractive twin sister right in front of her. She got quite upset. I was drunk.

Aged 18 I drunkenly urinated through the letterbox of the university rugby club. I don't feel much remorse about that one.

Yes, suspended.

**How can you be kicked out of school and not remember why?**

There was a riot between 2 schools, the 'posh' one in town and the secondary school. I didn't do anything much worse than anyone else just a bit of fighting in self defence IIRC. It's all a bit vague as it was 1979! IIRC I was 'seen throwing a brick'. I did no such thing.

The closet I got to being in trouble at school was when I was telling someone that there was a band called "4 skins" and he wrote it on the desk, and the next day some other kids had written all other the desk. The teacher tried to blame me and my pals, but we just denied it.

yeah i did say 'as an adult'! pretty immature behaviour tho lol

x-post - Yes, uPVC.

I did this over and over again, to the clear embarassment of everyone else in my group (to the point that only one dude would sit with me in the food court). Finally, I approached a 30-ish guy who was by himself and asked him if he would consider converting. He said "Yes, actually, I would consider it." I suddenly felt embarassed and nauseous, and sheepishly tried to half-explain what I was doing and backed away. To this day, I have this weird pang of guilt about that guy's response that I can't explain, even though he was probably pulling my leg.

This guy was hearing impared, and had been held back a couple of times so he was like two years older than everyone else, wasn't really all that bright, probably had a shitty white-trash family life, etc. All this manifested itself in him fighting a lot of people and generally beating the shit out of them.

I was a chubby, nerdy guy (and still am, I guess). He confronted me in the hallway after lunch and was getting ready to kick my ass in front of the group of people that started to gather around us. I figured it might as well be worth it, so I told him to go ahead and do it - I called him a "dumb retard", told him it didn't matter if he got suspended from school cause he probably wouldn't graduate anyway, how his parents didn't give a shit about him and wouldn't notice if he was suspended, how he was a dick that nobody liked, etc. Just all the meanest stuff I could think of, in front of a huge group of people who were waiting to see me get beat up.

The guy never hit me, and started crying and ran away. The crowd got real quiet and sort of awkwardly disbanded, and nobody ever really said anything about the event again.

I always felt really bad about it, cause I made a point to say the worst possible things to someone who obviously had a lot of problems. Strangely, the guy was totally cool to me after that and never fucked with me again - in fact, he was sort of friendly in an odd way. I still felt shitty about it.

As for me: you know, I honestly don't remember. But much of my high school and teenage years in general are a vague patchwork I'm happy to let remain unfocused in my mind's eye.

This happened a couple times in HS and times when I'd blank out completely catatonic for hours at friends' houses. Holy fuck, I felt really bad and I had no idea I was bring such an aggressive dipshit.

I got a few teachers fired but I'm happy about that bcz they were dipshits.

One was the first girl I ever really went out with, we were 13. We'd been over to each other's house a few times, and things were getting pretty intense sexually. I guess I must have felt uncomfortable with it, or something, because I told her "I'll call you" and then never did. A guy at my school went out with her when we were 18, and apparently she was really upset about it at the time. Glad I never saw her again, though!

Two was this girl I met on holiday in Bali when I was 14. We hooked up one night, and then I totally ditched (read: hid from) her the next day because my friends were giving me shit because they thought she was unattractive. I ran into her at a music festival a year or two later and she wasn't exactly pleased to see me. Oh well.

unfortunately, i can top drew's story hardcore, but being on probation it would be very unwise of me. some other day

Please stop posting. No body cares.

It was at this time I decided to call my dad at work and tell him where I was (as I probably wouldn't get back by the time I thought I would). He was quite cool with it, and just hoped that I got back home before my mum did (I'd already sent her a text saying I was seeing a film with someone, so that was unlikely, she probably started off home as soon as she got it.)

Eventually the woman answered the door, and after the initial shock of being called by her full name, she realised who I was and I was taken into her "eBayer's Lair", a low-lit room of racks and racks of catergorised junk. I got the item and finally left.

What I did next astounds me in retrospect. Instead of "wasting money" on a taxi, I actually walked the 3/4 hour journey from Heysham to Morecambe station ALONE. In the dark! In a ghost town taken over by crime and deprivation (not to mention nuclear waste). I don't remember feeling even remotely scared, the feeling was more of pride and independance actually, despite being a walking target. I even stopped for some chips which I ate on the way, which would have been more than enough wares to incite a possible mugging/attack.

The way back was surprisingly quick, I only just made all my connecting trains, with me and about 7 other people running like hell on each platform. My mum called me as my train was pulling in at Lancaster, and didn't know anything about that part of the country at all, so she was understandably worried. Luckily she wasn't too angry because I was already some of the way home by that point.

Looking back, it was a pretty shitty thing to do. I made a lot of unnecessary worry for people, and put my own life at risk, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. It was good character building, plus it happened on the same day as Jonny Wilkinson's famous rugby victory so it was cool to have that kind of news constantly in the background.

so, i was either fourteen or fifteen, and one night i was finishing off a fifth of some cheap gin alone, up in my bedroom. i was piss drunk, and needed badly to take a piss, but, we only had one bathroom, and it was occupied. so... i was going to burst if i didn't get the piss out, somehow. so, it was either out the window, or into the empty fifth. ...it went into the empty fifth. i remember being very careful. i didn't get a drop on the floor. i tighten the top back on, and put the bottle under my bed until i can deal with it later. situation dealt with. i even went down and washed my hands in the kitchen sink.

so, it's about a half hour later, and i'm just hanging out alone in my room, trashed, and a group of my friends show up, including this very stupid bitch i never liked at all, but was in the same social circle with. and, for whatever reason, one of them looks under my bed and finds the bottle of piss and pulls it out. they all think right away that they know it's piss. i mean, it was really yellow and warm, it was obviously piss. but, indescribably embarrassed, i actually try to convince them otherwise. and, the bitch i don't really like says she'll take a sip of it to test whether it is or isn't piss. ...she slowly brings the bottle up to her lips, sniffs, and takes a sip. she kind of coughs and pulls the bottle away slowly, and says "no... that's definitely not piss."
and, that's it. they all believe that this bottle of warm, yellow liquid isn't piss.
retards.

oh, and i can't say i feel too bad about this, either. that bitch was annoying.

maybe not dumbest-with-a-capital-d, but my friends and i used to call that 1-800 advice number on the back of the tampax box and harass the poor operators with trollish questions. i am sorrier for this than anything else i might have done as a teenager.

I used to call 1-800-64-REGAL (a Buick hotline) and make hamfisted jokes about having sex in their cars. This is definitely not the most despicable thing I did as a teenager though. I'll have to think about it.

i brought a molotov cocktail to a party once when i was 13. i was big into rage against the machine and i had one of their t-shirts that had a molotov cocktail on the back. i was big into fire and fireworks at the time but i was too young to really know how much different a molotov cocktail is from fireworks. i didn't set it off though, the parents came into the backyard and i stashed them in some bushes. i still got caught though, a day or two later after the parents found out who brought them. THANK FUCKING GOD i did not set them off. my life with complete certainty would be very different right now. can you imagine that? small suburban town, young teenagers with glass in their faces and everything? that was probably that last time i got in serious trouble, it kind of scared me straight. after that the most harmless shit i did was smoke some pot and drink.

most harmless harmful shit

a girl i really liked in middle school dared me to flirt with another girl who was really shy and rarely spoke. it was clear this other girl liked me though, for some reason. so i went over and flirted with this other girl, just to impress the girl that i actually liked. i forget what i actually said, but i'm a decent actor and i really convinced her that i liked her, and then pulled the rug out from under her at some point. fucking terrible. and of course the girl who *i* liked thought it was funny but then went back to not giving a shit about me roughly 10 minutes later

I broke the arm on one of my friends in a soccer match during lunchbreak. I didn't mean to, and I don't think anything would have happened the schoolyard hadn't been covered in asphalt, and I definitely took my fair share of tumbles on the ground, but still, I felt pretty bad. We didn't really speak that much afterwards, which was kinda sad.

twas a haloween night ~1980, i was thirteen and my friends were ALL about the movie The Warriors. we started trick or treating like normal kids and then it turned into, for some ungodly reason, me busting out light bulbs of people's front yards. this went on for i guess a half hour before the pigs came 'round and instigated their fascist groove thang.....was let go but ended up washing police cars for 20 hours as a punishment. i've never been violent before or since but it was a night to remember.
now that i think about it the last time i got in trouble was for lifting a Michigan & Smiley cassette from oxford st. HMV a few years later, 1984, i believe. busted on the way out, a 15 year old taken to Marleybone station (London). i was visiting London with just my 15 year old best friend. in court they asked me how much money i had on me and i gave a honest answer. they took most of it and i was on my way. but, shite, i did some stupid things. this was the trip where i managed to transport a cigarette pack full of joints to London. saving a little herb and rolling joints all year for this trip. i had a connection that sometimes got Hawaiian, some even had hash oil on them. a 15 year old, in 1984! the cig pack was double shrinkwrapped for my protection at the record store i lived at in my hometown. THAT was a fun time

i was the manager at the local pool, responsible for managing all the lifeguards. i was way too lenient and would let lifeguards do stuff like eat on stand or talk to other lifeguards when they were on the stand. when there was a thunderstorm we would close the pool but then swim in it ourselves.

i snuck a can of pepsi into the library and spilled it on the carpet. this was senior year. i went back to visit a few years later and the carpet was still stained.

(spilling was unintentional, if that wasn't clear)

Treeship, is this self-parody?

should've been coke

mh,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLSCJmOIIJI

Some friends and I went down to these old, huge supposedly abandoned greenhouse nurseries not far from where we lived and spent the day gleefully smashing the place up, throwing bricks around, setting fire to things. We came across some caravans on the site and broke into them. I think a few of us did stuff like spread ketchup around the rooms and maybe some minor damage. I spent the next week lying awake and feeling guilty about it. I still do, I suppose even though it was well over half a lifetime ago.

drew's story still makes me O_O

The creepy crawls post above reminded me of just how mean I could be to people who were at worst pretty annoying.

There was a girl from my elementary school who annoyed me mostly by virtue of being popular, I guess? I remember she talked a lot during class and the teachers always had to ask her to stop talking. Anyway, not really a big deal to me now? But when I was 12 or 13, I took a condom, filed it with a mixture of sugar and milk (the combo of which I decided looked exactly like semen), knotted it up, and shoved it in her mailbox. In broad daylight! This was several years after we ceased going to the same school together or crossing paths at all. To add to the fucked-upness of it all, her parents ran a popular daycare service out of the home. Her dad was a big, smiling, friendly guy who led the little kids to school everyday like a row of ducklings and I put a fake used condom in his mailbox.

Probably the shittiest thing I've done, but there may be more.

just read the creepy crawls one !

There was another kid from my elementary school who I revisited as a preteen. We were friends in third grade, but he was much smarter than me. Excelled at math, good at computers. He had Lotus 1-2-3 and Print Shop and talked about them all the damn time and could be a bit of a jerk about things if he knew more than you did. We grew apart I guess. I got another friend who was more genial and into the same things I was and wasn't as cocky and stuck-up.

So several years later, probably around the time of my previous post, I snuck out of my house with a buddy who was sleeping over and I spraypainted "FUCK" on the smart kid's mom's minivan.

Soooooooo that was pretty shitty too. :(