Cricket...

That's the job of the guy in the silly-mid-off position, I think.

Louis J makes the rules.

The first two players of the side that is in first go out, and the team not in first all go out to get the first team in out. etc.

there is a bord

There should be one called "I'd Love to Understand Cricket".

i tried to figure this shit out in australia last year. you throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball, sure. all the rest is made up.

louis splains it all Cricket-England win toss and bat first in third test

kinda

I "understood" it for a few minutes when I was in NZ once. But then I passed out from all the scotch I'd been drinking during the "explanation".

So is it true an entire match can go by without either team winning?

And once in the UK I thought I'd got is sorted, but then I had a few more pints of bitter.... Snooker made more sense.

xpost yep. Even after five full days of play. Therein lies the awesome majesty of the game.

indeed. Draws are much less common now (unless there's bad weather)

That's actually pretty cool. It must be unique in sport.

it only makes sense if someone explains it to you for an hour..

..and both of you are very drunk

It's easy really. I used to play cricket when I was 14/15 for my (then) local cricket club. Wasn't much use sadly, but I was always difficult to get out. I just didn't score many runs due to lack of strokeplaying ability!

Really strokeplaying hm that's interesting. Actually I tried it once and it is fun to play.

They totally make up the rules as they go, right?

-- HI DERE, Thursday, 30 August 2007 23:31 (Yesterday) Link

Like baseball...

... for adults

I mean, seriously guys, where to start?

England are currently kicking ass against India in the one-day series, which is nice. But I could probably answer -any- question you ask me about an aspect of the game, so I'm at a loss for what I could contribute. It's probably the one thing I love more than music.

The rules Laws, if you're interested, are neatly exhibited in something called Tom Smith's Guide to Umpiring and Scoring, which I have somewhere. But they're pretty easy to pick up.

dan it's like baseball except that there are only two bases that you run back and forth between - and if you don't feel like running, you DON'T HAVE TO! you just hit again (and again), and only run if you hit it really well

the rest of the rules constitute an attempt to make this interesting

Dietmar Hamann was on TMS last night! He's a cricket fan!

you can run if you hit it badly but are fortunate enough to place it far away enough from a fielder. you can even run if you don't hit it at all! (this depends upon the skill of the wicket-keeper, cricket's slightly more flexible version of the 'catcher')

dietmar hamann liking cricket = awes

by "well" i just meant "in a way that you could probably make it, if you ran"

Unless you're Inzamam ul-Haq, then you stroll

anyway, there's a really neat way to take the whole confusing 'running' issue out completely: hit it past the boundary-rope for an automatic four runs! (or six if it doesn't hit the ground first)

haha tom i'm currently writing a player profile for inzy, he didn't really stroll, he lumbered...

He's scored a hella lot o' lumbers in his career then

you don't average 50 in Test cricket without being bloody good at lumbering

I am mentally adding "amirite" to most of these posts

Inzy got so good at hitting fours and sixes purely to avoid having to actually run.

He's got a touch of the WG Grace about him

... "amirite"

Don't ask, Dan, just don't ask. The last time I asked, I got a very complicated explanation that involved getting all the balls of thread out of the sewing basket and putting them out in elaborate patterns on the blanket and obscure rules about legs and wickets and not starting matches on the first full moon following the Queen Mum's birthday.

I was born here, and I don't get it. You have no hope. Just sit in the sun and drink beer and lemonade and nod occasionally and shout "good show!" when everyone else claps.

It's Ambient Sport

I really isn't that difficult to get the basics, most people willfully decide that they will never know how it works so never try.

It's the subtleties that take the time, and make the game the greatest sport on Earth.

xpost, thats the joy it can be ambient, not much better than driving around your hols with TMS burbling away, or it can be mind blowingly nerve wracking like the 2005 Ashes.

It's Ambient Sport

::HEAD EXPLODES::

most people wilfully decide that they will never know how it works so never try

OTM, it really doesn't take much effort to understand, unless you're playing the comedy foreigner/stranger (which I suspect quite a few people here are doing). It's also a sport of ambience AND action; when you're wandering about in the covers waiting for the ball to come your way you can ponder exalted things like the meaning of life or how they make yoghurt, but then WHACK, the batsman's just nailed one to your left, ARE YOU GONNA BE A BRO AND DIVE??

Plus, it's such a logical game, such a balanced game. There's more pertinent risk and reward than in most sports. There's individual human error, there's intense tactical manipulation, there's the lot. It rules.

and it has more truly GREAT witticisms or moments of inspired chat than just about all the other sports combined.

eg "The Batsman's wanking the Coxman's Balls, and he's Willey".

if we succeed in grasping it do we automatically become condescending wankers like you? jesus, you people remind me of the guy who taught my perl course a few weeks ago - "so, do you get it, tracer? you look lost! it's really not that difficult"

It is sport. Ergo, I do not understand even the POINT of it, let alone the finer nuances of a game with rules so complex they're into their 37th edition since the Victorian age.

i think it's nice to watch people in white clothes stand around, run and leap in the sun

Go away, you're not taking this thread seriously enough

thank goodness

"in you're interested in this topic you could try reading the thread, which is a good one, rather than cracking jokes about how asian cricketers are all meek and subservient"

ya perl is easy

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/mihirbose/2008/01/what_was_and_wasnt_said_in_syd.html

http://media.theaustralian.com.au/multimedia/2008/01/09-tshirts/index.html

http://www.headlinesindia.com/more/index.jsp?news_code=67850

and now Pakistan want the Oval result overturned
http://content-uk.cricinfo.com/pakistan/content/current/story/330349.html

"We have made the application to the ICC and they will consider it at the next cricket committee meeting," the official told Cricinfo.

Pakistan's case, he added, was strengthened by the fact that England supported the application when the matter was discussed at the executive board meeting of the ICC.

"We have moved the application on the basis of the ICC dropping the ball tampering charges against our team," the official added.

Inzamam told BBC's Urdu service that Pakistan should take a lead from the Indian board and push to change the result of the Oval Test. Inzamam was referring to the ICC's decision to drop Steve Bucknor from the Perth Test between India and Australia after the BCCI complained over Bucknor's umpiring in Sydney. Inzamam said the Pakistan board should pressurise the ICC because the ball tampering charges were eventually dropped. England won the series 3-0.

Why don't they do away with the game altogether and just argue for three weeks.

dammit i predicted that series at 3-0 and was incredibly smug about it afterwards

India withdraw tour quit threat
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/7185056.stm

Shame.

"I mean, I'm not sensitive about it . . . but if I'm not your friend, if you're an opposition player or something like that, it is unacceptable."

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,23043586-5003413,00.html

WOW AUSTRALIA'S 2 SHITTY OPENERS OUT -- 2/13

3 DOWN ._.

RIP mr cricket's average in the 80s ;____;

5 OUT FOR FUCK NUTHING ;__;

I HATE MICHAEL CLARKE BTW.

BUT I CAN'T NOT LIKE MR CRICKET

clarke going off the boil again. drop him and put hodge in, damnit!

So we're officially getting shat upon now.

Can someone please tell me why India is not declaring?

oh fuck this, this final day has pissed me right off.

As I see it there are two options for India:

1. Declare, have a slim hope in hell of getting Australia all out before stumps
2. Stay in like fucking twats and force a draw

Streaker beat down

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2008/03/04/streakerdown_wideweb__470x325,0.jpg

Wait, how does the streaker fit into the rules???

White Sox fans like cricket now?

ha. a spokesman for the International Cricket Council said: "He is not going to be charged because he brought down a spectator who entered the ground." Although section 4.2 of the council's code of conduct says players may be punished for assaulting spectators, the spokesman would not elaborate when asked if his words meant players could try to bring down streakers.

http://media.smh.com.au/?category=Breaking%20News&rid=36032 video.

So... was that 5 points?

5 runs, yes.

Handy Hint: Don't let your bros order Indian food when India is playing cricket? My bros and I were watching the cricket (LOL forever at Roy's elbowsmash at the streaker...that's the first time they've shown a streaker on the telly for YEARS) and we ordered Indian. SO IT DIDN'T GET DELIVERED FOR FUCKING AGES!!

:D

(for reference, this is the "rules of cricket" cricket thread, and the one for discussion of cricket events is "Cricket" without an ellipsis)

That's why I posted that link here, Louis.

Yeah, I know! I was just anticipating a rush of off-topic blabber.

Hello hello, it's back again

oh yes

Man, I thought this thread said "Chiclet". : (

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/148/425659704_7a39e32a3e.jpg?v=0

Yeah Verin came back with a massive bang in this one and pretty much definitively showed why she was far and away the most awesome Aes Sedai in the book IMO.

― lift this towel, its just a nipple (HI DERE), Thursday, 19 November 2009 16:17 (29 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

fao DJP & others, this is cricket distilled 2 its ~essence~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9x8STHMdRs

http://sportpulse.net/blog/top-25-most-handsome-cricketers-160801

want to know what exactly Chris Gayle's sculpted physic is

Ricky Ponting????!!!!???

always a good moment for Feminist Afridi

http://cache.pakistantoday.com.pk/Even-the-Feminist-Afridi-Tumblr-couldnt-offset-this-shoddy-outing.jpg

otm

shane watson's is the funniest inclusion/writeup

can only assume that anderson & broad are excluded on grounds of being cockroach england's enforcers

even the photo of Watson is perfect

altho as Tom points out, Ponting still looks like Ian Hislop with a weave

hott

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/58600000/jpg/_58600362_beard_getty.jpg

beard_getty.jpg

Shikhar Dhawan was robbed, imo.

My brother's middle name is Imran entirely because my mother had a crush on yr man in the 80s tho.

isn't yr surname also, like,

yeah

Yep

as this is the cricket ephemera thread not the rolling cricket match thread i shan't ask you to pass comment on yr lads' rickety bowling or suliemann benn's fielding/presence in international sport, may revive the other one tho, which will confuse ppl