"Coffee's for closers" Glengarry Glen Ross poll

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Poll Results

OptionVotes
Fuck you, that's my name. You know why mister? Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an 80,000 dollar B11
Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father. Fuck you, go home and play with your kids. You want to work here, close. 8
As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak k6
ABC. A, Always, B, Be, C, Closing. Always be closing. Always be closing. 5
Put that coffee down. Coffee's for closers only. 4
Because only one thing counts in this life. Get them to sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me you fuckin' faggot3
AIDA. Attention. Interest. Decision. Action. Attention. Do I have your attention? Interest. Are you interested? I know y2
You think I'm fuckin' with you? I am not fuckin' with you. 1
I'd wish you good luck, but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. 1
These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? Because t1
You see this watch? You see this watch? That watch costs more than your car. I made 970,000 dollars last year, how much 1
You know what it takes to sell real-estate? It takes brass balls to sell real estate. 1
Go and do likewise. AIDA. Get mad you son-of-a-bitch. Get mad. 0
You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cock-sucker. You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you g0
Go and do likewise, gents. The money's out there, you pick it up, it's yours, you don't, I got no sympathy for you. You 0
And you know what you'll be saying. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar: ''Oh yeah, I used to be a salesman. It's a 0
I can go out there tonight, the materials you got, make myself 15,000 dollars. Tonight. In two hours. Can you? Can you? 0
Get out there. You got the prospects coming in, you think they came in to get out of the rain? A guy don't walk on the l0
'Cause you're talkin' about what...you're talkin' 'bout...bitchin' about that sale you shot, some son of a bitch don't w0
Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important. 0
I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Mitch and Murray. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Levine? 0
You call yourself a salesman, you son of a bitch. 0
You certainly don't pal 'cause the good news is you're fired. The bad news is you got all you got, just one week to rega0
You got leads. Mitch and Murray paid good money. Get their names to sell them. You can't close the leads you're given, y0
The leads are weak. The fuckin' leads are weak? You're weak. I've been in this business 15 years ... 0
And your name is you're wanting. You can't play in the man's game, you can't close them? Then go home and tell your wife0
Let me have your attention for a moment. 0
And to answer your question, pal: Why am I here? I came here because Mitch and Murray asked me to, they asked me for a f0


n/a, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 13:35 (sixteen years ago) link

can only be "Fuck you, that's my name. You know why mister? Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an 80,000 dollar BMW. That's my name."

Just got offed, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 13:39 (sixteen years ago) link

ABC. A, Always, B, Be, C, Closing. Always be closing. Always be closing.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 13:40 (sixteen years ago) link

"Fuck you, that's my name", ftw.

King Boy Pato, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:01 (sixteen years ago) link

These have all been committed to memory by every scumbag salesman in every office I've worked in for at leat the past ten years. Oh, irony.

Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:03 (sixteen years ago) link

Gotta go with 'You get the picture? You laughing now?' when he does that hands-in-his-pockets sideways move.

Where the fuck was his oscar nomination??

pisces, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:06 (sixteen years ago) link

genius poll

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:07 (sixteen years ago) link

Baldwin is great but I think he actually gives the weakest performance in this movie.

n/a, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:12 (sixteen years ago) link

I voted for "Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father. Fuck you, go home and play with your kids. You want to work here, close."

n/a, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:13 (sixteen years ago) link

Get them to sign on the line which is dotted.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:13 (sixteen years ago) link

Attention. Interest. Decision. Action. Attention. Do I have your attention? Interest. Are you interested? I know you are 'cause it's fuck or walk.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:21 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.joelogon.com/images_temp/glengarry_abc224x150.jpg

KitCat, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:40 (sixteen years ago) link

Always Blame Courtney

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:43 (sixteen years ago) link

i loved this movie when it came out but the constant, pythonite recounting of its lines suggests that there are way more people who actually admire the kind of philosophy spouted by its bullshit protagonists than i thought

Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:45 (sixteen years ago) link

reminds me of the traders in "the boiler room" sitting around watching wall street and saying every line along with it

Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:46 (sixteen years ago) link

in the same way that the python-quoters obviously support the people's front of judea.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:47 (sixteen years ago) link

reminds me of the traders in "the boiler room" sitting around watching wall street and saying every line along with it

-- Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:46 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

^^^ this dude = not liquid

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:48 (sixteen years ago) link

As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is your fired. You get the picture? You laughing now?

hon. mention: "Fuckin' leads are weak? You're weak."

Brent, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:51 (sixteen years ago) link

These have all been committed to memory by every scumbag salesman in every office I've worked in for at leat the past ten years. Oh, irony.

this and goodfellas, yeah.

the controller at the startup i used to be at a decade ago had a banner in his office that read "Fuck you, pay me."

chicago kevin, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 14:58 (sixteen years ago) link

If you wanna pick the best line from the PLAY, of course, you hafta eliminate Baldwin (character written for the film).

Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 15:00 (sixteen years ago) link

will bear that in mind.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 15:01 (sixteen years ago) link

Always Blame Courtney??

coco, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 15:02 (sixteen years ago) link

it's all your fault, apparently.

chicago kevin, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 15:06 (sixteen years ago) link

playing this w/ glengarry sounds effects was so much fun.

bnw, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 15:14 (sixteen years ago) link

coffee's for closers sets the tone nicely.

darraghmac, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 15:18 (sixteen years ago) link

good thread/poll

rrrobyn, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 15:45 (sixteen years ago) link

I love Boiler Room. Vin Diesel is in it.

Laurel, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:00 (sixteen years ago) link

I mean DUH.

Laurel, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:00 (sixteen years ago) link

Laurel, that wasn't good enough for Find Me Guilty

Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:06 (sixteen years ago) link

I've never seen this movie.

jon /via/ chi 2.0, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:07 (sixteen years ago) link

"Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father. Fuck you, go home and play with your kids. You want to work here, close."

Beating heart of capitalism right there.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:25 (sixteen years ago) link

No "GO TO LUNCH", no credibility.

Laurel, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:27 (sixteen years ago) link

That is not a line in Alec Baldwin's speech.

n/a, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:28 (sixteen years ago) link

If you want to start a poll of the entire script of GGR, go for it.

n/a, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:29 (sixteen years ago) link

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3HURJNd0J4U

kenan, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:32 (sixteen years ago) link

I've been in corporate "training" sessions in which scenes from "Wall Street" were screened. My protestation of "Don't these guys all go to prison in the end?" was met with stoney silence and shit-eating grins.

sexyDancer, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:33 (sixteen years ago) link

I bet a lot of smack-heads enjoy Trainspotting too.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:40 (sixteen years ago) link

sexyDancer, envisioning you subverting corp training has brightened my day, thx dude.

Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:41 (sixteen years ago) link

You didn't specify the speaker in the poll, Nick.

Laurel, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:41 (sixteen years ago) link

it is a test

n/a, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:45 (sixteen years ago) link

YOU FAILED

n/a, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:45 (sixteen years ago) link

Too late, I already had TWO CUPS of coffee.

Laurel, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:45 (sixteen years ago) link

favourite lines from this are pretty much all pacino though

get me a stickagum, nyalshwyahowdachewit.

darraghmac, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:47 (sixteen years ago) link

Great poll

I went with the "Hyundai" line, though also was considering: "I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Mitch and Murray. And I am here on a mission of mercy!" and "...the *real* favor is to take my advice and fire your fuckin' ass", the way the sentences flow for the former, and the caustic bite for the latter.

I don't think that because people know or rattle off the lines so well that they necessarily endorse the philosophy. It's a movie like "Goodfellas"...great/memorable dialogue.

Joe, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 17:50 (sixteen years ago) link

It seems like these lines would just be fun to say, too, like physically.

n/a, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 17:56 (sixteen years ago) link

i've already said teh coffee line once today
it was fun!

rrrobyn, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 17:57 (sixteen years ago) link

there's a relish people take in them which sort of freaks me out

this speech used to be a HUGE favorite for audition monologues

Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 18:03 (sixteen years ago) link

actorish types secretly want to be killworthy salesmen fux

Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 18:06 (sixteen years ago) link

similar skill set

sexyDancer, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 18:08 (sixteen years ago) link

Baldwin is great but I think he actually gives the weakest performance in this movie.

-- n/a, Tuesday, November 13, 2007 9:12 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

yeah I kinda feel the same way. great role but he doesn't really kill it the way he does in later roles that demand some of the same things, like The Departed.

Alex in Baltimore, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 18:09 (sixteen years ago) link

best part is when his brain thinks he's in the real play!

Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 13 June 2012 18:56 (eleven years ago) link

I love that.

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 18:57 (eleven years ago) link

I mean, it must be like memorizing a song, the beats are already so carved into your head that you just go on autopilot. Especially for dialogue like that Glen Garry scene.

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 18:58 (eleven years ago) link

thread revive regret

Pangborn to be Wilde (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 18:59 (eleven years ago) link

did cable air this often? I'm amazed how many people have seen this over the years.

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 19:00 (eleven years ago) link

sorry morbs :)

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 20:34 (eleven years ago) link

Pacino would do great with Levene's opening monologue. He also is at his best when playing someone who can't shout and control the room (Donnie Brasco, The Insider)--another reason this could be great.

Odd Spice (Eazy), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 20:37 (eleven years ago) link

yes Al, no more shoutin'. I hope he would lose the weird primped black hair for this role and play it like he's 72 (he is).

Pangborn to be Wilde (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 20:45 (eleven years ago) link

yeah al's just for men addiction creeps me out

Hamburger Hitler (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 21:18 (eleven years ago) link

They should get Gosling to do Williamson.

Odd Spice (Eazy), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 21:38 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

Only thing I think this piece gets wrong is that the speech is more about making the stakes clear at the start.

http://www.avclub.com/articles/why-glengarry-glen-ross-alec-baldwin-scene-is-so-u,82782/

Earth, Wind & Fire & Alabama (Eazy), Tuesday, 24 July 2012 19:19 (eleven years ago) link

Lemme buy ya a pack of gum -- I'll show ya how to chew

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 24 July 2012 20:03 (eleven years ago) link

I guess I should crosspost the HAL PACINO 2001 video

Pangborn to be Wilde (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 24 July 2012 20:05 (eleven years ago) link

did cable air this often? I'm amazed how many people have seen this over the years.

I actually saw this in a high school class!

Trewster Dare (jaymc), Tuesday, 24 July 2012 20:20 (eleven years ago) link

four weeks pass...

N: What if David Mamet was actually just Jared from Subway?

WheatusVEVO (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 16:26 (eleven years ago) link

two years pass...

That hairpin piece is so annoying lol

deej loaf (D-40), Monday, 15 September 2014 05:08 (nine years ago) link

V cool movie I worked doing admin stuff in a sales office once. V weird environment. I knew all about leads lol

deej loaf (D-40), Monday, 15 September 2014 05:09 (nine years ago) link

I can't tell if you're quoting someone or if you're posting on ilx. The hairpin piece was funny and kinda insightful.

bamcquern, Monday, 15 September 2014 06:34 (nine years ago) link

idk struck me as privileged grumbling from ppl who'd never stepped inside a shitty sales office

deej loaf (D-40), Monday, 15 September 2014 06:39 (nine years ago) link

N: He’s not very encouraging.
AH: This is how you encourage a group of old men. You yell at them and belittle them. Remind them how weak they are.
N: I find it to be almost like nonsense, like I can’t — I can’t make sense of it. What is it that people like about this movie? Is it like, human? Is it true in any way?

deej loaf (D-40), Monday, 15 September 2014 06:39 (nine years ago) link

yes

deej loaf (D-40), Monday, 15 September 2014 06:39 (nine years ago) link

Yeah, I can see it that way, but I can also see why they think the movie's kind of over the top and unrelatable. Not every facet of being human is especially relatable to other humans (not an especially helpful truism, but it reconciles your and their povs), and in light of that, their questions and comments are fair. Plus, I think they're trying to entertain each other and their audience, so I don't junk it's fair to characterize what they said as grumbling.

GGR's in this class of movie about men that's ostensibly critical of certain male-centric institutions (like the mob) that at the same time seems to lionize some of the worst aspects of those institutions. Upthread morbs makes a comment about the shift in Mamet's politics, and I don't know his work too well, but considering GGR and Oleander, both of which I've read, I wonder if his politics have just calcified (which I think is what Morbs was wondering, too).

Anyway, that doesn't mean that GGR doesn't say anything of value about sales, real estate, the 80s, middle aged men, or capitalism.

bamcquern, Monday, 15 September 2014 19:49 (nine years ago) link

The movie also makes statement on importance of coffee imo

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 15 September 2014 20:00 (nine years ago) link

pretty sure Mamet's language is not aspiring to big R Realism

Daphnis Celesta, Monday, 15 September 2014 20:03 (nine years ago) link

none of this is to say i can't understand why you wouldn't like this thing by an unlikeable playwright about unlikeable characters behaving unlikeably

Daphnis Celesta, Monday, 15 September 2014 20:04 (nine years ago) link

right it's not that i dont get why people wouldn't like it—its obv about a very particular culture (and masculine as it may be, I think its being underestimated maybe cuz the movie focused on men how many women have similar jobs w/ the same pressures—the office I worked in, the leading sales person was female, and the women were often doing better than a number of the dudes) (nb everyone was kind of sad).

but it's the feigned ignorance i guess that bothers me, the "who would live like this" stuff...idk, maybe a guy trying to take care of his daughter in the hospital? an average working person?

finding it tough to watch makes sense, the faux naif thing just bothers me for some reason

deej loaf (D-40), Monday, 15 September 2014 20:16 (nine years ago) link

the best sales person in the office was a woman—and she was also known for using extra sleazy sales tactics to move the units they needed

deej loaf (D-40), Monday, 15 September 2014 20:17 (nine years ago) link

yeah the culture of sales is in no way a uniquely male one, any more than the culture of office (micro)aggression is

Daphnis Celesta, Monday, 15 September 2014 20:20 (nine years ago) link

and for most people, if you don't think bullying happens in yr workplace, you're probly the bully

Daphnis Celesta, Monday, 15 September 2014 20:22 (nine years ago) link

The Wolf of Wall Street seems similarly dated. When I saw it, I thought of all these guys getting rich selling things over the phone, when now no one will pick up the phone to talk to a stranger, let alone their friends.

Daniel Pink has a good chronicle of how sales has fundamentally changed when both parties have access to the same information.

Also, related to D's comment, when I saw In The Company of Men I remember that the pack-mentality reminded me more of groups of saleswomen than men in the offices where I temped at the time.

Glengarry in a very specific way feels of the 1979-80 recession, the same "I got debts that no honest man can pay" of Nebraska, with the same underlying story being that there was no way for a weak-performing salesman to get the leads that would keep him from being a weak-performing salesman.

the man with the black wigs (Eazy), Monday, 15 September 2014 20:25 (nine years ago) link

ten months pass...

this movie is incredibly dated, but i still liked it. needs a reboot/sequel.

Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 26 July 2015 01:17 (eight years ago) link

one where the coffee is gritty

j., Sunday, 26 July 2015 01:22 (eight years ago) link

two months pass...

The timeline confuses me. Roma, Levene etc believe Williamson that he "filed the contracts at the bank" even though it's night when they leave the office and obv no banks are open?

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 25 October 2015 13:35 (eight years ago) link

Ha, I never thought about that.

EveningStar (Sund4r), Sunday, 25 October 2015 15:13 (eight years ago) link

Well, now the clocks have moved over here, it gets dark before the banks close.

Mark G, Sunday, 25 October 2015 20:12 (eight years ago) link

Banks in grocery stores used to be open late.

Love, Wilco (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 25 October 2015 21:09 (eight years ago) link

I doubt Williamson was dropping real estate contracts at a Safeway bank kiosk.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 25 October 2015 21:14 (eight years ago) link

one month passes...

show of hands: how many ilxors in retail have been shown the Alec Baldwin clip by their supervisors?

niels, Tuesday, 8 December 2015 12:52 (eight years ago) link

Fantastic.

Some Pizza Grudge From Twenty Years Ago (Old Lunch), Friday, 18 December 2015 02:25 (eight years ago) link

that is amazing.

big WHOIS aka the nameserver (s.clover), Friday, 18 December 2015 04:24 (eight years ago) link

That's almost too good to be a mere clickbait parody, even as great as clickhole is.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Friday, 18 December 2015 04:43 (eight years ago) link

lol at punctuation at 1:20

weatheringdaleson, Friday, 18 December 2015 05:00 (eight years ago) link

its a labor of love, which all the best clickhole stuff is

big WHOIS aka the nameserver (s.clover), Friday, 18 December 2015 05:35 (eight years ago) link

three years pass...

listen

i got 48 hours to make you a loootta money

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Sunday, 5 May 2019 23:11 (four years ago) link

will you go to lunch

^ this is the real line to use at work, nm aida or abc

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Monday, 6 May 2019 00:29 (four years ago) link

two years pass...

Go to lunch, George.

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 25 February 2022 01:46 (two years ago) link

The Machine!

Solaris Ocean Blue (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 25 February 2022 02:03 (two years ago) link

Don’t think anyone’s mentioned Roma’s burn of Williamson: “Who told you you could work with men!?”

Johnny Mathis der Maler (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 25 February 2022 03:32 (two years ago) link

I think about it all the time

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Friday, 25 February 2022 03:37 (two years ago) link


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