ITT an open and frank discussion about the journalist, critic and polemecist Charlie Brooker

Charlie Brooker is a twat. hence this must be awful.

― Local Garda, Wednesday, 29 October 2008 14:45 (59 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

LG OTM, anyway.

I'm just gonna throw this out there: Brooker, and the man himself would probably admit this in the witching hours, has always been a bootleg Biffo. Biffo had more readers at his peak than Brooker will ever manage. Brooker, however, gets paid lots of money by Endemol to produce mediocre TV, while Biffo is stuck doing kids' TV shows that nobody will ever watch. And "Trixx and Flipside". Discuss.

counterpoint: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2006/sep/22/arts.visualarts

Reasons I dislike Brooker:

1. Has nothing to define himself with except dislike of reality TV/pop culture/people.
2. Hating reality TV and crap British culture is an important and extremely annoying part of crap British culture.
3. It is extremely easy to write hyperbolic SMASH MY FACE IN AND CUT MY HANDS OFF WITH DISGUST rants, anyone could do it.
4. When he decides to create something it is accompanied by awful charisma free "I like zombies" piece in the Guardian, which reveals a lot about why he sticks to angry ranting.

That Banksy piece is otm except newsflash for Charlie: I reckon Banksy and Brooker share millions of fans.

Have you ever noticed that x Big Brother contestant looks like Golum from Lord of the Rings, only fat?

3. But you didn't.

He's basically received the baton from Chris Morris for scores of indie schmucks to declare "a leg-end".

x-post Marcello Why would I want to? I might end up like you.

So, you think it's funny to laugh at irritating celebrities when their lives fall apart, do you?

Sad thing is Chris Morris was hilarious, and Brass Eye attacked the "the world is in decline" idiocy that Brooker pedals with real venom, whether it was being said about crime or culture. If you watch the Decline episode of Brass Eye it serves as a rebuttal to as many Guardian articles as Daily Mail ones, not least Brooker's.

x-post was pleasantly surprised by that Brooker article Upt0eleven, but seems pretty hypocritical really. You wouldn't have to look far to find pointless misanthropy in his stuff.

The piece kind of loses itself halfway through.

LG - you should make ending up like me your life's ambition.

I think that's the key point. Brooker is a hypocrite. His entire steez is full of "this reality TV contestant I don't like should be stabbed in the knee by trained squirrels until Armageddon", but then when an actual reality TV star is in some pain, he's all "what sicko would want that to happen?" His entire career is based off attacking the "vapidity" of Big Brother, then he goes and takes a shit tonne of cash from Endemol to make TV series etc etc etc

LG - you should make ending up like me your life's ambition.

― Doreen, Dorset (Marcello Carlin), Wednesday, 29 October 2008 14:59 (36 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Punchline contest entries close 10/11/2008. Please ask permission from the person who pays the bill before entering.

LG - you should make ending up like me your life's ambition.

― Doreen, Dorset (Marcello Carlin), Wednesday, 29 October 2008 14:59 (36 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://mangii.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/death-wish-uk.jpg

There are loads of Brooker columns like that one, his relationship to reality TV (which isn't the be-all and end-all of his persona by any means) isn't as one-dimensional as is being made out. A lot of it is going "argh god this is inane why am I watching it?" while simultaneously being sympathetic to the people involved and weirdly admiring of the amazing cynicism involved in the product.

Pretty sure the new series is crap though.

Hermione Eyre and Willie Donaldson did the Brooker ambiguity thing with so much more humour and point in The Dictionary Of National Celebrity.

Dom otm, but you can't do the schtick Brooker goes for and have a successful career that's free from hypocrisy, you'll always say "oh well actually I kinda like crap zombie flicks" or "well actually I need money to eat". Hence the inherent stupidity of defining his entire persona by what he doesn't like. What could be more vapid than that? Legions of fans who are like "YES! I compose rants with someone's armpit in my face on the tube too! it's like he's known me all my life!"

I'm not really sure why hypocrisy is a problem when you're writing frivolous bollocks about TV.

He is bestest buddies with Aisleyne off last year's Big Brother (or was it the year before that) so seems fairly able to distinguish between BB contestants as being "people you watch on telly and hate yourself for doing so" and just "people", depending on the arena in which they are currently on display to him. I like Screenwipe/Screenburn anyway, as telly criticism goes, and as far as angry ranting about stuff goes, he does it quite well.

Hence the inherent stupidity of defining his entire persona by what he doesn't like.

Haha you do realise who you're addressing here right?

AA Gill?

I agree with what he says/writes too often not to like him. Look fwd to a new Screen Wipe series.

http://www.facebook.com/inbox/?ref=mb#/group.php?sid=a4dee092300c4150b137bce8b67792ba&refurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fs.php%3Fref%3Dsearch%26init%3Dq%26q%3Dslow%2Bwalking%2Bpeople%26sid%3Da4dee092300c4150b137bce8b67792ba&gid=2208419959

Britain: A Nation of Twats Who Are Angry About Everything

Brooker's pretty lame when he writes about something he likes. Set him loose on 24 or Heroes or Doctor Who and it just sends me to sleep.

(much like the programmes themselves)

he tends to be all "check it out, I actually like something! I'm being really sincere and enthusiastic! Me! The curmudgeon!"

The problem I have with Screenwipe is that every episode contains exactly one good bit that's both informative and vaguely elucidatory. The problem is that it's exactly one bit and no more, because the rest of it is filled up with him belming at the camera or making blindingly obvious 'revelations' about How Television Works (e.g. that bit he did about the editing of reality television programmes).

Also, when he likes things he tends to go somewhat overboard, as if he's trying to compensate for his big sweary slaggings by proving that actually he can be a really nice humanoid, no, srsly. It's worryingly bipolar in nature.

That said, it was seeing The Wire featured on Screenwipe that encouraged me to get the first season on DVD, and that worked out alright. Plus he's the only mainstream media type that's repping the Consolevania boys (i.e. giving them any telly time outside of Scotland)...

Plus he's the only mainstream media type that's repping the Consolevania boys (i.e. giving them any telly time outside of Scotland)...

― William Bloody Swygart, Wednesday, 29 October 2008 15:12 (33 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

They had an article about them in Games TM once!

I still can't believe he got to do a television special on why he likes The Wire so much.

William some of the "how television works" on Screenwipe may be blindingly obvious to you but I bet a lot of people genuinely don't realize this stuff. It's valuable - even empowering - to open up the mechanism and show people how it works.

Alternately it's a way of extending what's fundamentally a ten minute programme into half an hour.

People hate on Brooker because he gets paid to do all this stuff in the mainstream media whereas most people have to make do with doing exactly the same thing on internet message boards.

^^^new Godwin's Law, keep up

People hate on Brooker because he gets paid to do all this stuff in the mainstream media whereas most people have to make do with doing exactly the same thing on internet message boards.

no people hate on him cos they're sick of fucking reading it on message boards. cos whinging about reality tv or popstars or celebrity culture is the most played out boring message imaginable and one of the most common.

"rants" should be saved for messageboards.

A lot of television is about creating characters that people want to spend time with, like imaginary friends, basically. I think it's obvious the character Brooker plays when he's on television is successful in this way so why not make it half an hour? What's it to you, anyway?

Screenwipe was not long enough

thread just reads like Critics doing what they do best to Critic for doing what he does best tho

I can't stand TV characters who want to be "imaginary friends." I want more gods.

c-post the language of criticism is easier to employ than the language of praise, the language of bilious ranting is easiest of all, it rolls off the tongue. Personally I see it as a natural duty for a writer to fight this and balanace it with positivity but maybe that's just me.

a member of the facebook group dom noted above: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?sid=a4dee092300c4150b137bce8b67792ba&refurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fs.php%3Fref%3Dsearch%26init%3Dq%26q%3Dslow%2Bwalking%2Bpeople%26sid%3Da4dee092300c4150b137bce8b67792ba&gid=2208419959#/profile.php?id=541368326

Bilious ranting is very easy to badly and very hard do well, like acoustic guitar ballads or something.

As long as they can do it well (xxxp). Even Bangs was usually below par when writing about his heroes as opposed to sticking the boot in.

he's the guy that likes running blacks over, yeah?

xpost...?

Favourite Music: great fan of pendulum and dj fresh ( drum n bass) dont like all that mc'ing crap any more, love the verve, oasis, kaiser chiefs, the kooks, razorlight, blur, arctic monkeys, babyshambles and all that kinda stuff partial to bit of house and techno but not very often mind.....
Favourite TV Programmes:silent witness is great oh and al murray whenever he is on he the best english comedian who loves ENGLAND....well im ashamed to admit it but i do like eastenders and corrie too....
Favourite Films:roots, schinders list, over 50's, pretty much anything really

Bilious ranting is very easy to badly and very hard do well, like acoustic guitar ballads or something.

it's easy to do well! especially if you travel by tube every day. seriously if Britain got rid of the tube the entire audience for Brooker and similar would evaporate.

al murray whenever he is on he the best english comedian who loves ENGLAND...

This is the best bit.

by Britain I mean erm...London and other tubed areas!

i don't use the tube

Ok something I have noticed and want to ask about- what are your feelings on the Huq? Seems that only straight men see her as cute national treasure and everyone else HATES her for some reason (possibly connected to brookers awful new hair)

Don't care.

She is very bad on Xtra Factor. She was good on that "let's go piss!" ep of Screenwipe. Otherwise, I don't really care either way.

yeah thats what i thought it would be, mild opinions to just not caring. and yet in the past week i have accidentally ended up in two totally different groups of people talking about hating her

Actually, she wasn't good on X-Factor extra, because she seemed unable to fake interest in the contestants.

Idiots think she has made Brooker a big girlie telly ponce, when in reality it's probably just being on telly that has made Brooker a big girlie telly ponce. That, and growing up a bit. I suspect getting married to anyone would have been a bit life-changing on him, but to see cynical old Charlie with telly-fluff Konnie is a bit too much for people who like to identify with his cynicism and forget to notice the affection he holds things in.

'Straight men' is a very big section of any given national population.

If 45% of people thought I was a cute national treasure then my life could finally be judged a success.

we do and you are ;)

Well, if all the straight men loved you, then everyone else would hate you for that reason.

And now, excuse me, apparently Jeremy Paxman has said "cunt" on air, more later...

Konnie was the lead presenter on Blue Peter for a very long time, there'll be an awful lot of young women who consider her a national treasure.

Hey Matt, can you delete my response to your now deleted response on the civil war thread. Mod privileges, pah!

he looks so uncomfortable on '10 o'clock live'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uazcDxkCYXU

^ precisely when brooker jumped the shark

Libya would be a good growth market for Beyoncé, incidentally, as, thanks to the Gaddafi regime, it now contains far more Single Ladies than it used to. [gadaffi has killed a lot of men.]

DarraghMcManus

7 March 2011 12:51PM

This is all very interesting, but what I want to know is this:
Why do Fiddy and Kayne whatsisface hate women so violently? Like, it's bizarre. Seems almost pathological. What, did their mommies not give them enough love as a baby or something?
Bitch this, bitch that, blah blah blah. Oh do fuck off, morons.

God that video, what a fool.

that's gotta be trolling

xp

Really enjoyed his completely spiteful tone towards kids in that ep of his most recent about-tv tv show

odd, thought that darraghmac hated women.

(s'been a while since we made darraghmac-that chump darragh mcmanus jokes.)

who is daragh mcmanus doofus?

who is THIS daragh mcmanus doofus?

just some doofus who does terrible stuff for the guardian's blogs on the regular.

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2012/1/25/1327493307587/Charlie-Brooker-in-Austra-007.jpg

Charlie Brooker and his wife Konnie Huq relax on the beach after jumping a shark.

never once did i think the only person in the world to like adelaide would be charlie brooker

lol wait seriously he's married to konnie huq?

Yes.

Funny, by chance I saw her first TV appearance over the weekend, on ChallengeTV's "Blockbusters" 'tribute' to Bob Holness (basically, all old Blockbusters episodes from 09:00 to 21:00)

She was in a team of two, lost both games, and exited without being able to discuss her Music College much. she looked about 14 (probably really 17 or so)

Ah, I just looked it up, she'd already been on Blue Peter as a member of the youth choir (sang a song), and she actually was 14.

touching cloth is pretty good!

that kind of ZAZ humour is going to be pretty hit and miss by its nature (especially if you're not Zucker, Abrahams or Zucker) but yeah, i quite enjoyed it all in all. Favourite line was "eat your orange juice" for some reason

haha yeah

very hit and miss - i feel like it can't decide if it wants to be Airplane! or something slyer. a lot of the lines probably looked funnier in the script than they ended up sounding out loud, but that'll improve after the first ep i'd imagine? (haven't seen the second one yet)

the forensic guy trying to turn off the phonograph with a remote control was probably my favorite part - not referred to, just there for a few seconds in the corner of the screen

"any prints?"

"just purple rain and lovesexy by the looks of it"

"constant craving" ringtone killed me

i think it was meant to be Police Squad meets Cracker or something, and I thought it was great - very high joke-to-squib ratio.

A few people told me about Black Mirror, a show created by Brooker, saying it was great etc. Having watched it, I can't really say that I agree with those people but I'd be curious to know if people here have seen it ? Also, if anyone knows anything about the houses they show in "The entire histoy of you", I'm all ears.

I thought the first two were basically extended one-liners, albeit well-executed, about how shit TV is and how stupid people are but I liked The Entire History of You.

I thought the first two were basically extended one-liners, albeit well-executed

Only saw the pig fucking one, and I would agree with this.

i didn't like the third one but probably more because it felt horrible watching that guy obsessing about the other guy and how it led to him doing ruining his life.

whole thing, neat:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oUyjl7N1_Y

^^^ was pretty great tbh

yeah there are some quality lolz. hadn't seen that Costa coffee ad before but my immediate thought was that scene in Caligula, and there it was!

CB seems very much on auto-cynic recently. TBF, I don't know if it's really him who's become more lazy with his pop culture truth-bombing, or whether I'm just bored of his "working-class people will believe anything" schtick.

Caught some of screen-wipe on a random last night...don't care for this in particular (his whole I hate sports when he loves video games then makinng the mistake of making shit TV (the zombie big brother thing) while reviewing other tv isn't a great look), but Doug Stanhope's 'America is great' routine was a thing. At first its a 'oh why are you here then?'/'brits are dur sorts huh' lameness but he then becomes pro-Adolf in a roundabout way that is p/funny.

Slept and then was remembering this morning so..

'dour' sorts, one spelling mistake corrected.

Found it p tiresome, some lolz. He's v bad at liking things.

touch of cloth 3 is winning me over with its relentless commitment to appalling puns tbh

keep forgetting to watch those but they're the only thing by this chump I've actually wanted to watch since idk

It was alright, actually

I thought I was done with this kind of thing but Cunk on Shakespeare was excellent. Diane Morgan is so funny, I love her voice and her sublime way of swearing.. I read an interview with her and Philomena was supposed to be a posh dimwit but she auditioned for the part and Cunk is now Diane Morgan, a northern dimwit.

So did anybody watch the “Death to 2020” special on Netflix? It’s kinda disappointing. It’s like Netflix paid them to do a Screenwipe for an American audience with a higher production value and lots more celebrities, but the writing is only like 40-60% of where it needs to be.

It’s not the worst transatlantic adaption, but it isn’t what it should be. The “Antiviral Wipe” ep they put out in May is far stronger.

Sucked.

Major example of TV getting lost in translation.

Why get sam Jackson to try and sound like brooker? It just didn't come off.

Beyond that though, the main prob it has was how lacking in teeth the material was. Just a very MOR satire.