shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2017999538_apusfrozencows.html

Isn't that just the weirdest thing?

feel terrible for considering that these cows are probably still edible

http://www.afp.com/en/news/topstories/breivik-tells-court-i-am-very-likeable-person

Lazer Woolf?!

I guess his mother really liked Fiddler on the Roof?

http://www.thechronicle.com.au/story/2012/04/24/mum-steaming-over-rude-surprise-burger-penis/

http://media.apnonline.com.au/img/media/images/2012/04/24/TCH_24-04-2012_PAGE_3_01_TWB200412burger08_t325.jpg

Classic pic.

kylie

that url is great

http://www.jta.org/news/article/2012/04/23/3093586/man-can-sue-over-anti-semitic-comments-though-not-jewish

NEW YORK (JTA) -- A New Jersey appeals court has ruled that a man can sue for enduring anti-Semitic slurs from former employers despite not being Jewish.

Myron Cowher, a former truck driver for Carson & Roberts Site Constructions & Engineering Inc., sued the company and former supervisors after allegedly enduring anti-Semitic comments for more than a year. His suit alleges discrimination that resulted in a hostile work environment.

The Appellate Division of New Jersey Superior Court reversed a Superior Court judge in a 3-0 decision. The appeals court stated that the “proper question” is what effect the derogatory comments would have on “a reasonable Jew,” not on Cowher, who is of German-Irish and Lutheran background.

hahahahhahahaha

And although this is a fight I can lose/
The accused is A REASONABLE JEW!

I used to get called "Jew" back in elementary school, but I never knew how to complain about it since it would somehow legitimize the word "Jew" as an insult?

It was the intent, I guess. Maybe I should sue and find some reasonable Jews as character witnesses.

isn't that the name of a Coen Bros film?

Denny's going to get sued by African-Americans who have been victims of anti-Candadian remarks.

Canadian.

It's just 'a reasonable man' who is Jewish

So you're saying I'm not reasonable then.

hamburger lady reminds me of:
http://i.imgur.com/X7PXO.jpg
http://www.sonsofstevegarvey.com/2007/09/hey-kid-pass-this-to-david-ortiz.html

http://www.spiegel.de/politik/deutschland/0,1518,829312,00.html

turns out, I do know how to speak German.

http://mo.accessatlanta.com/celebrities-tv/idaho-man-accused-of-1426299.html?cxntlid=thbz_hm

http://now.msn.com/now/0506-dolphins-heroin-overdose.aspx

"Dolphins died of heroin OD after rave at zoo, report says"

Sad and sick as hell, actually.

For animals with sonar hearing, a possibly dubstep-heavy event was already considered a strain.

http://www.usnews.com/opinion/blogs/robert-schlesinger/2012/05/16/george-bush-writes-a-book-on-economic-growth-and-other-things-that-make-tons-of-sense

Jailed punk band Pussy Riot pushes free speech limits in Russia

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/man-admitted-hospital-kidney-stone-discovers-hes-woman-110057308--abc-news-health.html

seriously would that ever be an onion article? not like an enquirer article or a wacky news of the world article or a human interest segment on the local news, but an onion article?

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7077/7157376649_c8297ed088_b.jpg

guh

haha, that same story also has a headline link on CNN that says "Dismemberment victim's head missing"

well, no shit.

imho it takes all the fun out of guessing which parts are missing

Detachable penis is missing

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/06/06/tagblogsfindlawcom2012-legallyweird-idUS379276591220120606

The confessions of an ex-sex kitten

http://www.nyu.edu/gsas/dept/french/PEN%202012/LisaDierbeck.jpg

Somali Islamists offer 10 camels as bounty for Obama
By the CNN Wire Staff

http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/09/world/africa/somalia-al-shabaab-bounties/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

Casey Anthony reading 'Hunger Games,' book about killing children

http://news.yahoo.com/casey-anthony-says-shes-gone-hell-232851938--abc-news-topstories.html

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/554662_515861844163_1094249877_n.jpg

OK that one *is* an onion article, right?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/

Nice work BBC!

Oh good lord.

more goodness from CNN ...

"Snacks on a plane"

http://www.wsoctv.com/news/online/site-information/lake-norman-high-school-yearbook-photo-story-corre/nPWGH/

wat

Ohshit yeah I read about that one on Popehat and I was so confused. The retraction sounds so backhanded. Also it implies no one ever even saw the photo in question and just ran with it anyway?

Ive seen the photo. It... really does look like a woman who flashed her bits. but by accident (slipped sideways gown) not on purpose. But its very hard to tell, as it could also be one of those bizarre illusory pics.

like, the one definite illusion is ppl saying she's "lifting her gown" - she isnt, she's holding a magazine in her lap.

bare genitals and private parts

sorry, that's BARE GENITALS AND PRIVATE PARTS

Yeah the level of detail is bizarre.

Player 'completes' Diablo III video game

"Just over a month after the release of Diablo III, a pro player has managed to complete the game on its hardest setting"

I am obviously reading different news sites, but that is an actual* news story. It's hardly Billy Mitchell, but still.

*I was going to say 'specialist', but then it sold 3.5 million on its first day..