1. if you have a spoon or fork you don't need a butter knife. flip that spoon around and use the handle. #livingalone
― dayo, Saturday, 16 October 2010 09:25 (thirteen years ago) link
2. don't spend money on an expensive cotton terry towel. a cheap beach towel works just as well and serves double duty. #beach
― dayo, Saturday, 16 October 2010 09:26 (thirteen years ago) link
3. if you make coffee and oatmeal in the morning, you don't need a pot and a kettle. fill the pot with water, boil it, use that water for the coffee, then cook your oatmeal. save gas and countertop space. #coffee
― dayo, Saturday, 16 October 2010 09:28 (thirteen years ago) link
4. a desktop computer is heavy, wastes space, and requires a separate monitor. get a laptop instead and enjoy your new desk real estate. #laptop
― dayo, Saturday, 16 October 2010 09:30 (thirteen years ago) link
5. a toothpick makes an ideal "javelin" for a mouse #mousejavelins
― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 16 October 2010 10:29 (thirteen years ago) link
6. kebab skewers make excellent drink stirrers
― that's so percussion (get bent), Saturday, 16 October 2010 11:18 (thirteen years ago) link
#skewerstirrers
7. if you're buying two oranges, save the environment and forgo plastic bag. a bra makes an excellent carrying case for two oranges. depending on the size of the bra and/or oranges, you may carry up to four oranges. #twooranges
― dayo, Saturday, 16 October 2010 11:19 (thirteen years ago) link
8. if your city's recycling program won't accept compact fluorescent bulbs, you can safely store used bulbs in a glass jar with a tight-fitting lid until a recycling program is implemented. #mercurysafety
― christ a Journey medley (reddening), Saturday, 16 October 2010 11:26 (thirteen years ago) link
9. you really only need to hear about ten Lil B songs. #based
― dayo, Saturday, 16 October 2010 11:32 (thirteen years ago) link
10. there's no need to buy poisonous bug sprays to get rid of fruit flies, just spritz 'em with windex and they'll fall out of the air. #pestcontrol
― christ a Journey medley (reddening), Saturday, 16 October 2010 11:51 (thirteen years ago) link
i've done that.
― that's so percussion (get bent), Saturday, 16 October 2010 12:15 (thirteen years ago) link
11. a fingernail brush makes an adequate bollock scratcher when bathing.
― jumpskins, Sunday, 24 October 2010 21:59 (thirteen years ago) link
12. do one push-up tomorrow. the following day, do two push-ups. continue to increase your push-ups by one with every subsequent day. by 2013 you will be world famous.
― Z S, Sunday, 24 October 2010 22:06 (thirteen years ago) link
13. Every morning, leave a few minutes too late to get where you're going on time and then jog all the way to the subway. You will be tricking yourself into enjoying a few more minutes in your home AND getting exercise. #timesavers
― Bobby Short, Wayne Shorter (Hurting 2), Sunday, 24 October 2010 22:13 (thirteen years ago) link
14. hey everybody, stop drying your hands off with paper towels or electric hand dryers. let's let the magic of evaporation do the work instead and save 1 billion trees
― Z S, Sunday, 24 October 2010 22:15 (thirteen years ago) link
15. You're using shampoo, which dries your hair out, and then conditioner to moisturize it again. Save yourself the cash, and the time, and just don't wash your hair. #grooming
― Bobby Short, Wayne Shorter (Hurting 2), Sunday, 24 October 2010 22:22 (thirteen years ago) link
yeah,and as Seinfeld noted, not using them will make you get out of the washroom much faster - a target all of us aim to.xpost
― Zeno, Sunday, 24 October 2010 22:27 (thirteen years ago) link
I really need to find more opportunities for using the hashtag #twooranges
― 17th Century Catholic Spain (Abbbottt), Sunday, 24 October 2010 22:43 (thirteen years ago) link
16. discarded potato skins can be fashioned into envelopes
― I see what this is (Local Garda), Sunday, 24 October 2010 22:53 (thirteen years ago) link
17. don't need to wash your legs in the shower, the soaps gets there eventually #gravity
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 24 October 2010 23:12 (thirteen years ago) link
18. if you murder someone, try not to be seen, as its illegal
― max, Sunday, 24 October 2010 23:14 (thirteen years ago) link
#murder
― J0rdan S., Sunday, 24 October 2010 23:15 (thirteen years ago) link
19. If the brakes on your car fail, just drive around until the petrol runs out, and the car should gradually come to a halt be itself. #roadsafety
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Sunday, 24 October 2010 23:16 (thirteen years ago) link
20. Don't calculate the tip on credit card slips, just cross it out and leave a padded total. #drunktipping
― Pinktits, Sunday, 24 October 2010 23:20 (thirteen years ago) link
21) heroin in itself is not addictive, merely its consumption
― nakhchivan, Sunday, 24 October 2010 23:21 (thirteen years ago) link
22. 90% of things you dream of doing will either never come off or will prove to be not worth the effort. #reality
― cant believe you sb'd me for that (darraghmac), Sunday, 24 October 2010 23:21 (thirteen years ago) link
23. When you start a business, try to come up with a product or service people might want to use more than once #makeaplate
― Bobby Short, Wayne Shorter (Hurting 2), Sunday, 24 October 2010 23:37 (thirteen years ago) link
24. walk your dog in the park as a way to meet chicks. #dogchicks
― dayo, Monday, 25 October 2010 00:21 (thirteen years ago) link
25. If you need to use the restroom, excuse yourself right away – never wait. #tychobrahe'sdeath
― 17th Century Catholic Spain (Abbbottt), Monday, 25 October 2010 00:22 (thirteen years ago) link
#cautionarytale ^^
― kate78, Monday, 25 October 2010 02:18 (thirteen years ago) link
26. getting up to get water multiple times during the day at work is a great way to stay hydrated and avoid doing work #worksucksiknow
― j. sargent & lil k3v (deej), Monday, 25 October 2010 02:21 (thirteen years ago) link
obv not recommended if your job isnt soul sucking remedial busywork
― j. sargent & lil k3v (deej), Monday, 25 October 2010 03:09 (thirteen years ago) link
27. trick yourself into exercising by biking places that are downhill, you will need to come back #uphillstrategies
― candid gamera (s1ocki), Monday, 25 October 2010 03:13 (thirteen years ago) link
28. create an appropriate hash tag for everything you post onto the internet so that you can easily search for it if you ever need to reference yourself. #internet
― dayo, Monday, 25 October 2010 03:15 (thirteen years ago) link
― 17th Century Catholic Spain (Abbbottt), Sunday, October 24, 2010 8:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark
25a. and don't feed your pet alcohol and let it walk down the stairs for it may stumble and die. #tychobrahe'smoosedeath
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Monday, 25 October 2010 06:31 (thirteen years ago) link
26. when you masturbate - prepare some toilet paper to be near you in advance
― Zeno, Monday, 25 October 2010 11:39 (thirteen years ago) link
not to mention the hairbrush. how many times have i had to look for that thing under the bed, with my moist wang picking up dust.
― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Monday, 25 October 2010 11:44 (thirteen years ago) link
Now that's what I call a pro tip...
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Monday, 25 October 2010 11:45 (thirteen years ago) link
10b. there's no need to buy poisonous bug sprays to get rid of fruit flies, just put that last bit of wine in a cup and put one drop of liquid soap in to break the surface tension. the greedy fucks will drown. #pestcontrol
― Fetchboy, Monday, 25 October 2010 11:55 (thirteen years ago) link
27. If you hate mopping just leave an old towel on the kitchen floor and when you spill wipe it using yr foot.
― Fetchboy, Monday, 25 October 2010 11:57 (thirteen years ago) link
28. if you hate cleaning just don't clean and die from disentery
― Zeno, Monday, 25 October 2010 11:59 (thirteen years ago) link
29. if you contribute to this thread add hashtags to your tips #smh
― candid gamera (s1ocki), Monday, 25 October 2010 13:51 (thirteen years ago) link
30. instead of drinking either expensive good bourbon or cheap nasty bourbon, buy a single bottle of the former and hold it under your nose while sipping the latter #aromas
― quique da snique (bernard snowy), Monday, 25 October 2010 14:04 (thirteen years ago) link
31. no phone? pay a friend who you see often to act as your designated 'phonesman', pretending to be you and passing along any important information #socialnetworking
― quique da snique (bernard snowy), Monday, 25 October 2010 14:07 (thirteen years ago) link
32. shit in public toilets, you will need to clean your home toilet less often #freeriderproblem
― quique da snique (bernard snowy), Monday, 25 October 2010 14:09 (thirteen years ago) link
33. Working on a deadline, need to turn in some work, but too broke to pay for your own internet? cafes will often neglect to turn off their wi-fi, take your laptop and sit on the sidewalk in front. #haveactuallythoughtaboutdoingthis
― j. sargent & lil k3v (deej), Tuesday, 26 October 2010 01:52 (thirteen years ago) link
34. its pretty easy to make pasta, just put it in some boiling water #pasta
― max, Tuesday, 26 October 2010 02:29 (thirteen years ago) link
lol <3
― cathedral-sized jellyfish in your mind (Trayce), Tuesday, 26 October 2010 02:29 (thirteen years ago) link
35. goth 2 boss #goths
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 26 October 2010 03:49 (thirteen years ago) link
idg the ph thing?? every ph i've ever had has a separate setting for 'silent' and 'vibrate'.
― just1n3, Saturday, 28 February 2015 07:17 (nine years ago) link
iPhone's default is to vibrate when you have the ringer off, Do Not Disturb mode turns that off
― mh, Saturday, 28 February 2015 17:14 (nine years ago) link
you can turn off vibrate on silent (under sounds) so you can just switch between silent and ringer on rather than putting it in do not disturb mode
― computer champion (harbl), Saturday, 28 February 2015 17:18 (nine years ago) link
yeah but I _want_ it to vibrate on silent! just not when I'm trying to sext on the toilet
― mh, Saturday, 28 February 2015 17:26 (nine years ago) link
oh i see why u would to that then
― computer champion (harbl), Saturday, 28 February 2015 17:27 (nine years ago) link
tips for living the life I live
― mh, Saturday, 28 February 2015 17:27 (nine years ago) link
make your hot cocoa on the stove...and then strain it to get all the clumps out
BOOM!
― walid foster dulles (man alive), Tuesday, 3 March 2015 14:59 (nine years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/3ZLA1uA.jpg
― the late great, Sunday, 11 December 2016 02:14 (seven years ago) link
pro tip: a taco shell you can stabilize with a fork is an abomination. avoid such taco shells as you would a rabid raccoon.
― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Sunday, 11 December 2016 04:07 (seven years ago) link
taco purism is unamerican
― El Tomboto, Sunday, 11 December 2016 04:09 (seven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gSKeCvSCpw
― Treeship, Sunday, 11 December 2016 04:10 (seven years ago) link
pro tip: being stupid and wrong-headed is worse than being unamerican
― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Sunday, 11 December 2016 04:25 (seven years ago) link
being stupid and wrong-headed is worse than being unamerican
― El Tomboto, Sunday, 11 December 2016 04:27 (seven years ago) link
anyway the original 'merican crispy taco with lettuce and diced tomatoes is from the Mitla Cafe in San Bernardino which is still in business and on my bucket list
― El Tomboto, Sunday, 11 December 2016 05:26 (seven years ago) link
purist tacos are delicious but i've been known to enjoy a hard-shell taco too
― I've read Ta-nehisi Coates. (marcos), Sunday, 11 December 2016 05:32 (seven years ago) link
otm
I have even bought the ridiculous ground beef seasoning mix for comfort food
― mh 😏, Sunday, 11 December 2016 17:23 (seven years ago) link
sniffing at US hard taco shells but acting like taco "shells" exist outside of that context
― banfred bann (wins), Sunday, 11 December 2016 17:32 (seven years ago) link
this whole country is a fucking shell maaaan
― Treeship, Sunday, 11 December 2016 17:33 (seven years ago) link
fake mexican food is tasty obv
― banfred bann (wins), Sunday, 11 December 2016 17:33 (seven years ago) link
I find it p hard to go back when the real thing is available just down the street. Will never give up nachos though.
― Spiritual Hat Minimalism (Sund4r), Sunday, 11 December 2016 17:35 (seven years ago) link
waiting for the inevitable modernist/Serious Eats "perfect hard shell taco" recipe tbh
― jason waterfalls (gbx), Sunday, 11 December 2016 17:41 (seven years ago) link
oh totally if it's just down the street the difference between tasty and delicious doesn't need explaining
― banfred bann (wins), Sunday, 11 December 2016 17:42 (seven years ago) link
Xp
hard shell tacos are hard to handle though, I mean, they break, and I'm not sure how to eat them right
― niels, Sunday, 11 December 2016 18:35 (seven years ago) link
you rotate the taco 45 degrees and your head 45 degrees in the opposite direction
just a lil tip from a pro
― mh 😏, Sunday, 11 December 2016 18:41 (seven years ago) link
thread delivers
― niels, Sunday, 11 December 2016 18:45 (seven years ago) link
obviously you take the hard-shell taco and wrap it with a soft tortilla so when it shatters into a thousand shards you don't have to slow down your taco intake at all.
― erry red flag (f. hazel), Sunday, 11 December 2016 19:28 (seven years ago) link
not to cloud up this thread with ~ deep thoughts ~ but isn't the story of american food the story of appropriating/crispifying/salting already decent ethnically identified carbohydrates and selling them in rectangular boxes in a supermarket?
― remy bean, Sunday, 11 December 2016 19:31 (seven years ago) link
isn't the story of american food the story of appropriating/crispifying/salting already decent ethnically identified carbohydrates and selling them in rectangular boxes in a supermarket?
― remy bean,
― Treeship, Sunday, 11 December 2016 19:39 (seven years ago) link
the splinters from a hard taco shell present a puncture hazard to one's soft palette. highly dud, unless you are a masochist.
― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Sunday, 11 December 2016 19:50 (seven years ago) link
I love it
― mh 😏, Sunday, 11 December 2016 20:39 (seven years ago) link
pro tip: always be a masochist
― mh 😏, Sunday, 11 December 2016 20:40 (seven years ago) link
i prefer cutting my tongue on a glass-sharp fragment of Tootsie Pop
― slathered in cream and covered with stickers (silby), Monday, 12 December 2016 00:26 (seven years ago) link
pro tip: scotch tape your taco upside-down to the ceiling. put magnets on the inside of the hanging taco shell. now you can throw other magnets toward the ceiling and see if you can get them to stick. don't forget the hot sauce!!
― Karl Malone, Monday, 12 December 2016 00:40 (seven years ago) link
people have definitely choked to death on hard taco shells. people are dead.
― Treeship, Monday, 12 December 2016 00:50 (seven years ago) link
i envy them
― mh 😏, Monday, 12 December 2016 01:15 (seven years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/1eaCaMY.gif
― pplains, Sunday, 17 September 2017 00:08 (six years ago) link
Ok lol
― i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 17 September 2017 04:25 (six years ago) link
O_o
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 18 September 2017 02:51 (six years ago) link
Hot
― El Tomboto, Monday, 18 September 2017 03:04 (six years ago) link
wow
― k3vin k., Monday, 18 September 2017 03:11 (six years ago) link
that truly is a pro tip
― the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Monday, 18 September 2017 03:50 (six years ago) link
I seriously considered purchasing magnetic eyelashes the day
― Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Monday, 18 September 2017 07:21 (six years ago) link
Your phone should be able to fit in your mouth! If it doesn't, bring it back to the phone store for a replacement. #oralfixation #protip
― faculty w1fe (silby), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 22:55 (five years ago) link
infinite free drinks at fast food places if you just have the restaurant cup - yes this is technically stealing but i have never gotten caught in weeks
easier if there is a back door entrance to slide in through the side
― Ross, Wednesday, 29 August 2018 22:59 (five years ago) link
b-b-b-but you shouldn't really drink a lot of soda?
― niels, Thursday, 30 August 2018 17:23 (five years ago) link
brb, heading to the apple store to attempt to shove each of the demo phones into my mouth
― Dan I., Thursday, 30 August 2018 20:20 (five years ago) link
you can use a 3D printer to make prop phones at home and test how those fit in your mouth without leaving the house!
― Paleo Weltschmerz (El Tomboto), Thursday, 30 August 2018 20:25 (five years ago) link
When you say "in my mouth" do you mean the whole thing? Because
― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 30 August 2018 20:38 (five years ago) link
and by "in my mouth" do you really mean in my mouth or...
― Dan I., Thursday, 30 August 2018 21:19 (five years ago) link