Friday the 13th: Jason Goes to POLL

I have love for Jason X & even for Parts V and VII but 2 is the most evil looking Jason there is & is the clear class of the field

voted for the only one I can even remotely stand, the original. which is essentially like beating a bunch of one-legged people in a sack race

Final Chapter, easy

agree that these are all bad to varying degrees, but IV has a) Crispin Glover dancing and b) the super-freaky Corey Feldman stuff. I don't think the series ever got more genuinely creepy than the confrontation between Jason and Corey-as-Jason

the problem was I rented 2-4 one weekend at the suggestion of a fellow horror fan who assured me they were all fun, and after 2 and 3, I got so bored that midway through 4, I just couldn't sit through anymore. so I barely got to see the Feldman scenes. maybe one day I'll go back but every time I think about it I find a much more worthy movie to watch!

is Jason X the one in space?

yes. truly terrible but Cronenberg makes up for that a little bit.

Also, this looks a lot better than what we got with Part VIII:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OW590cfTK0A

the main reason I hate these movies is that they're completely useless when someone isn't getting killed. at least most other slashers I liked had a way of building tension even during quieter moments.

I sorta wish these movies were all 25 minutes long with Yakety Sax playing and Jason chasing the campers all over the place

also, is IV or V the one where Jason kills someone by crushing their head with a car door? because I pick that one

i still love how there was a score of people who cared so much about who was behind the mask that there were cries of "BRING BACK KANE HODDER" when like Freddy Vs Jason was coming out.

the one with the perfect face imprint? I think that was VI. xpost

yeah, looking on Wikipedia I guess it was VI

1-9 are on AMC this week btw. So you can make a more informed decision on the weekend.

ha like I'm going to sit down and watch these

2: Best overall, tightest focus on the idea that Jason is killing horny teenagers because he Cannot Love

3: best individual scene, when the star from Juwanna Mann harmonizes "ooh baby" with his girlfriend while shitting in a shack, Jason was totally justified in skewering them

4: Best stars! Corey Feldman and Crispin Glover

5: Most nudity

1 sucks so bad, what I've seen of the later ones (and the remake) are mostly zzz

3 also has weird stoner jokes and gouged eyes flying at the screen in what was clearly some awesome CD

3D i mean

sigh ok apparently the guy named Demon shitting in a shack while singing scene is in V, which with all the nudity makes it probably my second fave behind 2

V also has a girl stabbed while nonchalantly poplocking alone in her bedroom

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g74X9EtVO9A

I love horror but have never seen a single Jason film because the premises seem so boring and uncreative, especially when we have things like Freddy ripping out soneone's veins and manipulating them like a puppet, or turning in to a snake and fucking eating people.

I hate horror movies and have somehow managed to see two of these

1-9 are on AMC this week btw. So you can make a more informed decision on the weekend.

caught a bit of 1 last night and it was horribly edited - like, all the kill shots were cut out! so stupid

i think 4 is the best, followed probably by 2.

Freddy vs. Jason

[Vote]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Meut1UpZzaA

I like 1, 2 and 4 (never seen any of the others), but man, the absolute flying leaps it takes even to get from 1 -- in which Mrs. Voorhees is the killer and Jason, if he exists anywhere outside Adrienne King's head, is a scrawny, melonheaded freak at the bottom of a lake -- to 2, in which the killer is a fully-grown roid-freak Jason, is staggering. It makes no narrative sense whatsoever, even within the loose constraints of the genre.

Also, if these movies are all considered to take place in the same continuity, they make even LESS sense. Assuming the first one takes place the year it was released, in 1980:

-- Part 2 takes place, according to the movie itself, "five years later," in 1985 (but was released in 1981)
-- Part 3-D takes place the day after Part 2, so also in 1985 (released 1982)
-- Part 4 takes place the day after Part 3, so also in 1985 (released in 1984)
-- Part 5, released in 1985, takes place 5 years after Part 4, so in movie time, they're up to 1990, five years ahead of "real time"

. . . it's like, by the time you get to "Jason Takes Manhattan" these damned things should be taking place on a fucking moon colony.

To futz it up even more, "Jason X" was released in 2002, begins narratively in 2008 -- 28 years after the first one took place!! -- jumps forward to 2010, then the bulk of it takes place in 2455.

This series of reviews on the films discusses the timeline at the end of each entry. (links to all of them at the bottom)

http://mynewplaidpants.blogspot.com/2009/02/all-friday-fellas.html

Part 2 probably had the hottest guys, overall.

great link gukbe - many lolz

LOL#1
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ne5Lb2SiFHg/SZWJtb25cmI/AAAAAAAAbwk/u4OtbF6XiN4/s1600-h/friday1+bill6.jpg

The notion that any one of the sequels is even close to as good as the original is just completely laughable.

whut

all u need to know about VIII JTM is that Jason decapitates a dude simply by punching him really hard in the face!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj07Flf1iX0

Part 3 is on right now. The awkward 3-D bits are pretty lol.

The F13 series actually manages to be worse than the post-Halloween II Halloween movies, which is no slouch in the suck department

i kind of love manhattan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r556L3Codc

voted V. III & VII have a place in my heart as well.

II is probably the best one, but V takes it; not only does it have the most nudity, it also has the highest body count, a seriously disturbed, borderline-psychotic good guy, and a trick ending (hint: Jason Voorhies is not the killer...which perhaps should disqualify it in the eyes of most)

VII has a telekinetic girl, so that's pretty cool...

III has 3d kitsch factor, and the prototypical ilxor, Shelley.

Siskel and Ebert so obnoxiously self-righteous about their "dead teenager movies". kids have been going to the movies to see shitty monster films forever dudes.

The Portable Friday the 13th

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ww59WG8PqJ4

This is only a problem if you live to challop.

Part I has the best photography, and one great gore effect (the axe in the head), but that's about all I can say for it. The "twist" is lame and unearned, and ultimately it's just not scary. The general amateurishness of it is really pretty annoying; at least most horror franchises start out with a much better movie (Halloween, Hellraiser, NOES etc.)

But really, none of these movies are scary. There's really only one great moviemaking moment in the whole series: the shot in part 2 when the Final Girl is hiding in the shed and we see baghead Jason through the window, charging full bore at the shed.

I would vote for part VII if they had left all those crazy gore effects in, but since they didn't I'll vote for 2.

The notion that any one of the sequels is even close to as good as the original is just completely laughable.

― Hatch, Wednesday, October 20, 2010 12:14 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

They're all just different kinds of horrible.

Siskel and Ebert so obnoxiously self-righteous about their "dead teenager movies". kids have been going to the movies to see shitty monster films forever dudes.

― circa1916, Wednesday, October 20, 2010 1:31 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

otfm

still these movies are all pretty terrible

but kinda simultaneously awesome

http://www.fridaythe13thfilms.com/saga/bodycount.html

minute by minute for each film

Jason Voorhees
1 (23) : Axel - surgical hacksaw to the throat, neck broken
2 (24) : Nurse Morgan - gutted with a scalpel
3 (25) : Hitchhiker - knife through the neck
4 (26) : Samantha - knife through the torso
5 (27) : Paul - spear to the groin
6 (28) : Terri - spear in the back
7 (29) : Mrs. Jarvis - killed offscreen
8 (30) : Jimmy - corkscrew through hand, cleaver to the face
9 (31) : Tina - thrown through a window, lands on a parked car
10 (32) : Ted - knife to the head through movie screen
11 (33) : Doug - head crushed in Jason's bare hands
12 (34) : Sara - axe to the chest
13 (35) : Rob - garden harrow to the throat

Tommy Jarvis
14 (1) : Jason Voorhees - machete to the head

The F13 series actually manages to be worse than the post-Halloween II Halloween movies

I believe you meant post-Halloween III movies.

but kinda simultaneously awesome

"dying teenager" movies really lack the eccentricity of these films. So bland and wacky poplocker-free...

it's extremely stupid, which is why i find it hilarious and fun

cf. the mystery man wandering through halloween 5, who they hadn't even invented the cult of thorn around yet because the producer just wanted a mystery man in the fucking movie, it's so awesome

my problem of the first half of the first Zombie Halloween is that I didn't buy that Michael's home life would have driven him to that, as depicted. yeah, it was dysfunctional ,but like, there has to be more - Ed Gein was unusually obsessed with his mother, she used to spank his penis, preached to her kids about evil from the Bible every day in histrionic fashion, had few friends because of his mother's domineering attitude. yeah Michael had an nasty, creepy father-in-law in this one, and his mother was a stripper, but she was a much more caring parent than most serial killers had. didn't help that the dialogue was soooooo bad in those scenes.

and yet those were the *best* scenes in the movie, once they got to the 'beginning' of the original Halloween, I aws already exhausted and they had to rush through the beats.

the other annoying part about Resurrection, OOOOOH wow we found all this evidence that the parents were barbarically abusing Michael and lol it's all faked by producer BUSTA RHYMES again.

all of the best ideas for the movie were LOL GOTCHA trolling

i mean slasher movies from the 80s also just seem a bit tamer because they used to threaten X ratings for much more benign shit back then, so a lot of the more OTT stuff got shelved or 'edited' to cut away or were merely implied.

this is true to an extent but I feel like I've seen other 80s slashers with a lot more gore, it almost feels punitive, like the mpaa went extra hard on F13 to make an example out of them or something

Besides Halloween III I've only seen the first Halloween once, and like 20+ years ago, and remember finding it boring. It's on my list to rewatch this month, and this thread makes me feel OK abt skipping the rest of the sequels

as far as franchises go I'm planning to finish out F13 6-8, then Child's Play/Chucky 2-5, then Phantasm 1-4. Are the Hellraiser sequels past 2 worth it?

3 isn't, and I stopped there.

I feel like I've seen other 80s slashers with a lot more gore, it almost feels punitive, like the mpaa went extra hard on F13 to make an example out of them or something

hellraiser 3 has the dj cenobyte with a cd bisecting his head, plus the absolutely inexplicable seedy metal club, plus the best character in the first three movies, terri. it's like, awful, but there's a lot to recommend about it

i saw bloodline and there's a good movie in there somewhere, but they didn't make it

i have not explored further bc even trash connoisseurs have described the later installments as worthless and miserable

one thing i greatly dislike about hellraiser 3 is that pinhead is explicitly rewritten as a villain, and the one of the things i liked most about the first two movies is that the cenobytes are just kinda unwitting servants of the ultra hardcore s&m club that is hell, and that there are living people who are much worse and more sadistic than them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGWz5psncCI

hellraiser 3 has the dj cenobyte with a cd bisecting his head

ok thats incredibly hilarious, never heard about that, might actually be on my watchlist now

like 15 years ago at a fest i remember seeing a short doc about the child actor who played jason in f13 part 1, all grown up somewhere in the midwest, fronting a klezmer band playing synagogues & bar mitzvahs by day, doing a jason-themed metal band by night, and trying to impress people in bars by asking them if they'd ever seen Friday the 13th. very funny in a post-American Movie way.

Oh there's also a Cenobite in III with a camera in his face. It's like Pinhead transformed the staff of an HH Gregg.

The other thing I'm trudging through right now is the documentary Crystal Lake Memories, which chronicles the making of the F13 movies in oral history format. I am at hour two and they are pretty much in the beginning of discussion for Part IV and there are FOUR HOURS LEFT.

It's got (for example) the child actor who played Jason in the first one and tons of other actors and production people. Corey Feldman shows up, but Kevin Bacon doesn't.

crystal lake memories and never sleep again are the best documentaries ever i find them so gripping lol

I am pretty certain I've seen all of Crystal Lake Memories yet I remember literally nothing about it.

xpost Yes, I could blow an entire day watching them back-to-back. If anything, they're TOO short!

And I love that Crystal Lake Memories was thoughtful enough to include my beloved Friday the 13th: The Series (which I just finally finished watching and am about to start all over again).

Oh, that's what's missing from the poll and what I would've voted for. Who cares if it has nothing to do with Jason. It has big-haired bad-acting '80s Canadian goddess ROBEY, for god's sake.

i tried Jason X and I just couldn't. something about horror films and bro comedies from the early 2000s has always rubbed me the wrong way, so once they all got on the spaceship and started fucking each other.

the kill where he froze the girl's face and smashed it was cool though!

*and started fucking each other I just got really annoyed, like I know that's the F13 formula but these were scientists in space acting really dumb and shirking their responsibilities for a little sexy time.

i feel you to a degree, but no movie has funnier dialogue than jason x, cf. "what's a bike?"

"hockey mask"?

"it was a sport before it was outlawed in 2024"

OH BOY NO MORE HOCKEY SOON

all this crazy shit happened and yet gender relations have not progressed at all since the late '90s, i love it

rewatched Part II. liked it better - it has long dull spots but they play with pacing better, and Jason actually being a child-like hillbilly wearing JC Penney's finest Paul Bunyan attire actually works pretty well.

guessing they thought it felt too much like Leatherface and then Incredible Hulk shows up in later films

beginning of 3 starts with news reporter talking about the most heinous crime in local history...you mean besides the other three incidents?

lol I love figuring out which scenes were obviously shot with 3-D in mind in the third one.

baseball bat... juggling... eye-popping out of a guy's skull

they never really did 3d better

I believe I've referred to it in the past as Handles!: The 3-D Experience.

Like there's a point in Muppetvison 3-D where Fozzie whacks a paddleball at the camera as a gag re: the super obvious 3-D tricks they intend to avoid. F13 III is that gag repeated for 90 minutes. Gloriously stupid.

The eyeball squeezed from the socket really is the high point of the series.

David? David? David? David? David? pic.twitter.com/O21MNNdRwn

— Jay Bauman (@JayBauman1) October 16, 2020

Think I'm going to go see Part VI tonight

Love Part VI. Perhaps the least boring/most (intentionally) funny of the bunch.

Cool. I've only ever seen the first one, but I'm going to assume that these do not need to be watched in order.

Heh, these movies do not need to be watched, period. But VI, as I saw someone put it, is at least a real movie.

vi: jason lives
vii: the new blood
ii
tie: jason takes manhattan / jason x (basically the same movie, boat vs. space)
iv: the final chapter
v: a new beginning
i
iii
jason goes to hell
reboot

weird that they all changed lol

― american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, April 23, 2019 3:28 PM (four years ago) bookmarkflaglink

it is time to revise my rankings:

7: the new blood
2
6: jason lives
x
takes manhattan
1
4
3
5
reboot

not ranked at all, just floating in off in its own deranged universe:
jason goes to hell

Is that worst-to-best or best-to-worst? I honestly can't tell, lol.

I do know the meta opening of reboot was pretty clever, as was the meta opening of "My Bloody Valentine" reboot.

Jason Goes to Hell is the rare horror movie I turned off back when I was a dumb teen, and again when I was an even dumber adult trying to give it a second chance

Fun fact: that is the only one I've ever seen in theaters. It was pretty shitty.

it's best to worst, obv!!!! i do need to rewatch the reboot, it's been a few years, i do remember the first twenty minutes completely ruling xxp

i love them all like they are my children though, even 5 which has the home for mentally-troubled teenagers (located just a few miles from the two most annoying hillbilly caricatures ever), one of the most fucked up landscapes in the whole series and in any slasher movie

lol, VI was so much fun. Great crowd at this screening. The deputy's "Megan..." "MEGAN!" got the best laughs.

5's kinda my favorite for how sleazy and gross it is. It's of a piece with Danny Steinmann's other works, The Unseen and Savage Streets, for sure. Some kind of minor auteur of unpleasantness and tonal whiplash.

Rata-tata-tata-tata-touie!

This whole scene is so funny. Like a parody of a clever escape scene.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evg2Xl-tlo4

In a movie world populated mostly with morons, it doesn't take much to be the smart one.

*half the county has been brutally murdered*

Sheriff: I can't believe Tommy Jarvis would do this.