movies you wish someone had made

Lou Reed and Paul Simon as a pair of wisecracking, hardnosed cops in 1970s NY, hot on the trail of eccentric evil British heroin smuggler David Bowie. Paul plays sensitive "good" cop to Lou's abusive "bad" cop as they unravel a sordid tale of drugs, murder, and prostitution while on the trail of Paul's runaway kid sister (or niece, I haven't decided which, can't figure out who would play here either). Features white-knuckle Honda scooter chase scene through the lower east side.

man I would watch the shit out of this movie

Vaughn Bode animated feature about a teenaged dope fiend transported through time and space in his flying cadillac to a land of jive-talking dragons and large-breasted warrior goddesses. Soundtracked by T. Rex.

Spike Lee sci-fi movie

what, I'm the only person that thinks about these things?

Busby Berkeley's "Fever Dream" Starring Margot Dumont and Peter Lorre

A Grand Theft Auto movie in the same vein as Mortal Kombat.

Pixar remake of Straw Dogs

how many remakes of Straw Dogs do we really need

On the Road the way Kerouac wanted it done with Brando. Either Brando never received his letter or was just a jerk and ignored it.

Vaughn Bode animated feature about a teenaged dope fiend transported through time and space in his flying cadillac to a land of jive-talking dragons and large-breasted warrior goddesses. Soundtracked by T. Rex.

― Roger Barfing (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, May 29, 2012 1:50 PM (4 hours ago

so WIzards with better music and no rotoscoped Nazis?

A mega-budget three part live action adaptation of 80s kids cartoon series The Mysterious Cities of Gold.

I wish Inception had been made in 1963, starred the Rat Pack, and had less philosophy lite and more wisecracking.

Maybe the Japanese guy and the Arab guy could both be played by Peter Sellers.

I wish someone would make a movie of The Castle of Otranto that stuck pretty closely to the insane fast pacing of the book.

Whoa according to Wikipedia, Svankmajer made a short of it! I MUST SEE THIS

so WIzards with better music and no rotoscoped Nazis?

haha yes exactly. the omission of any mention of Bode's work in the Bakshi book is curious, to say the least.

Heavy Metal being the other closest analogue.... but really Bode and Bolan seem so perfectly suited for each other, it's like some magical combo that should have gotten together but just didn't, for whatever reason.

He even looked like Bolan!

http://www.thenoobdad.com/wp-content/uploads/mark-bode-and-vaughn-bode.jpeg

Abstract minimaliat take on the life story of Rasputin as a musical with all parts written and performed by Scott Walker

I wish Kubrick's Napoleon movie would have gone forward. Same with Sergio Leone's Stalingrad movie.

Serious answer: would have liked to have seen Alejandro Jodorowsky's version of Dune. In 1975 he recruited a creative staff including Dan O'Bannon, HR Giger, & Jean 'Moebius' Giraud. Ran out of money after 4 months and the project was abandoned.

O'Bannon talks about it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=re1WpqQtLDQ

http://youtu.be/re1WpqQtLDQ

oh god yeah that is tops on my list too. such a missed opportunity

whoever said on the John Carter thread, a movie in which everything--all actors, locations (buildings, trees, cars) are performed by a single actor doing motion-capture. That I would love to see.

A Grand Theft Auto movie in the same vein as Mortal Kombat.

― pplains, Tuesday, May 29, 2012 5:08 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I mean, even with a character who says "I know where the wall breaches are," and reaches in to a parking deck, pulling himself into a glitch underworld where he parachutes to safety.

a Choose Your Own Adventure movie

http://www.slashfilm.com/choose-your-own-adventure-movie-gets-writers-and-director/

an adaptation of 'Sabbath's Theater' with Pacino as Mickey Sabbath.

or if we're talking about movies that almost actually happened, then PTA's Confederacy of Dunces

in this choose your own adventure movie, can I still look at the results of my choice and then go back and make the other choice if I feel like it?

also, how many ninjas are we talking here?

David Gordon Green was also attached the CoD movie at one point (post Undertow, iirc).

whoops yeah i meant david gordon green

I'd like a film about a vigilante group that mails people's dropped litter back to them and drops any dogshit they failed to pick up through the slot of their doors.

I want a documentary about the making of The Town. More specifically, the documentary should only cover everything related to the scene where Ben Affleck does pull ups with his shirt off. When did Ben Affleck write the scene for himself? How did his peers react when they read and saw the scene? What were Ben's demeanor and interactions on set like both immediately before and after shooting the scene? How did Ben direct himself in the scene? etc.

Dorothy Arzner's The Finer Things in Life (1932), with Harold Lloyd as Elmer Bliss, Miriam Hopkins as Viola Lake, and Lee Tracy as Lansing Marshall.