Star Wars 7 shit talk

aka because we needed something else to obsess over for a few years after today. Or not.

Rumors, lies, stories they made up, whatever. The current big one:

http://www.unleashthefanboy.com/movies/harrison-ford-want-back-in-for-star-wars-episode-7/32960

rumour: Alfonso Cuarón to direct.

NOW I'm interested.

Gonna suck. Cuaron's got his own sci-fi epic to shepherd.

Lucas gonna fuck it up by proxy.

I've also seen Matthew Vaughn's name bandied about, and he did just suddenly drop out of the X-Men: First Class sequel.

old Mark Hamill sittin' by the phone

if you are over the age of like 19 and have any opinion on this whatsoever, you are basically a brony

Dude is one of the hardest-working voice actors in the business, Morbs, he ain't hurting for work.

btw I will personally pay both your bar tabs for the coming year if you will GTFO this thread and stay off

dammit, no fair making such an offer when I'm taking oxycodone

but done, motherfuck Star Wars forever

Do you still wear this hat Whiney? Because from this angle it looks like some kind of goddamn doggy-ear things. Fucking human tanookis shouldn't make fun of ponies and Star Wars.

[controversial mod edit etc etc]

heard it's tentatively subtitled "Meet the Fetts"

I'm wondering how they gunna pull this off in 2.5 years. Fuck the tech and cgi shit, how long will it take to craft a non-crap script?

Also, R5D4 cameo plz plz plz

how's life, i'd sincerely appreciate it if you didnt bring my IRL life into threads because I made fun of a movie.

how long will it take to craft a non-crap script?

what makes you think they would even bother

be-la-tarr! be-la-tarr! be-la-tarr!

Because people non-Lucas will have a say in it, and there are enough Disney/Pixar folks who could pull it off

And most importantly, Disney ain't Dreamworks

this is such a stupid fucking idea, how can anyone have faith in this "franchise" anymore

Holy fucking shit at that being Whiney Weingarten, known to the huddled survivors of the Dorkpocalypse as the Oncoming Storm!

Because it's got a gigantic, devoted worldwide fanbase who would go nuts at even the promise of another halfway-decent movie? Just shooting in the dark, here.

Hamill in the PS3 Batman games is AMAZING. Even after I knew it was him, I listened and just could not hear a single drop of Luke Skywalker anywhere in there. But beyond that he invested every line with such cackling menace. Hard to imagine the game would have been nearly as gripping without him.

/Ain't It Cool

The franchise isn't doing that badly: The Force Unleashed, The Old Republic, The Clone Wars, still roughly 1,000 comics per month. I mean it's not like anyone is saying "Oh, are there films too?", but a lot of franchises would swap in a second.

Yeah, Hamill has probably joined Ford in Not Needing This Shit Anymore.

Hamill's voice as the Joker really reminds me of Harvey Fierstein.

It's worth noting that the 3-D re-release of the most reviled film in the franchise still managed to pull in more than $43 million, which is nearly 10% of the movie's lifetime gross.

Hamill has been angling for a voice role on The Clone Wars, but they haven't been able to find a part for him. If they're gonna get an original trilogy star to do a voice on the show, they want it to not be something one-off or pointless.

Tall order, that

Because people non-Lucas will have a say in it, and there are enough Disney/Pixar folks who could pull it off

Turned out well for "John Carter," didn't it, about the closest thing one can imagine to a Disney/Pixar braintrust reboot of "Star Wars?"

Cuaron's got his own sci-fi epic to shepherd.

btw what is this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravity_%28film%29

And frankly this sounds horrible:

Dr. Ryan Stone (Sandra Bullock) is a brilliant medical engineer on her first shuttle mission, with veteran astronaut Matt Kowalsky (George Clooney) in command of his last flight before retiring. But on a seemingly routine spacewalk, disaster strikes. The shuttle is destroyed, leaving Stone and Kowalsky completely alone--tethered to nothing but each other and spiraling out into the blackness. The deafening silence tells them they have lost any link to Earth, and any chance for rescue. As fear turns to panic, every gulp of air eats away at what little oxygen is left. But the only way home may be to go further out into the terrifying expanse of space

DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNNN

I mean if this plays as a comedy, sure.

Aren't Sandra Bullock and George Clooney the same age?

Sandra plays a 20 year old, George plays 93.

I wonder if I can think of any differences between the Star Wars franchise and John Carter of Mars hmmmmm let me ponder

so it's 'Deep Water' in space.

xp

(Sandra Bullock) is a brilliant medical engineer

lol

this is basically "The Net in space" which means it's going to be hilarious

Did anyone here other than me see Wreck-It Ralph?

god, Matthew Vaughan would be such an uninspiring choice

In the Wreck It Ralph thread I note that I have seen Wreck It Ralph.

http://www.vulture.com/2012/11/star-wars-episode-vii-may-have-found-its-writer.html

you know i really like Hamill, especially in Empire.. he's called onto to do a lot of different stuff emotionally and pretty much the entire thing is carried by him. he's the star and hero of the best loved set of movies ever and i'm baffled why he doesn't get more credit. i'm sure this has been discussed at length elsewhere. maybe everyone else likes him too?

I always considered him a total - and wonderful - ham in Empire. Even as a kid, I laughed by ass off at "that's not true, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!". That said, I genuinely believe his voice work on Batman/Justice League is top quality.

I can't find the direct quote, but Sam Fuller directed Hamill in Big Red One and said that Star Wars ruined the dude, in terms of wasting what Hamill could do vs what he was pigeon-holed into

His Joker gets a lifetime pass from me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ld0uIhst3TA

Listened to Hamill on that Batman podcast that Kevin Smith is doing (by far the best thing Smith has ever done). He's really a pro, very much a technician when it comes to performance.

In terms of a script, there has to be gold somewhere in the hundreds of SW universe novels.

you'd think that

Impressive.

tbh i thought Solo's death was cheaply staged and made kiddies bawl

wow what a colossal waste of time that webpage is. must have taken ages.

Sent the guy an email, told him to make sure he checks with you next time he does anything to make sure you approve.

thanks for philsplaining

I am loving that webpage.

Props for whoever did it for their hard work, but it's kinda boring.

I daresay the guy who did it will get some cool work as a result of it. I'm guessing Adam can't say the same for his contributions to ilx.

actually i've gotten some good work from ilx. some music videos. some songs. some cool stuff.

this is sort of cute, i will give it that, but visually dull. and i'm pretty sure competition for art & design work at Disney is tough and most portfolios would take a crap all over this.

this should be filed this under Baconing of Minimalism.

also tbh i feel like the standard for being above criticism on ILX has to be something higher than "the creator will probably get some good work from it." people get all kinds of work out of viral-ready mediocrity all the time. not everything that takes a long time to do is all that great.

I think the standard for criticism should be higher than "that took a lot of time." Smacks of "that guy had too much free time, right?"

Yeah okay, that's fair. I think I sort of inserted some words from my own reaction to the piece, which was that it was taking me an inordinately long time to consume and yet without producing any kind of joy or critical insight or anything so that I suddenly went "why am I still clicking forward in this?"

Yeah. Movie-converted-to-flowchart, while impressive, is not the most exciting medium.

baconing of minimalism?
http://i.imgur.com/ecGEKbY.png

baconing of minimalism

https://di959x84wsbql.cloudfront.net/imgs/fc0a765dbe13418183c9730260006553/final.jpeg

I daresay the guy who did it will get some cool work as a result of it. I'm guessing Adam can't say the same for his contributions to ilx.

― it's getting ott in here / so take off all your clothes (stevie), Thursday, May 26, 2016 7:33 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

actually i've gotten some good work from ilx. some music videos. some songs. some cool stuff.

this is sort of cute, i will give it that, but visually dull. and i'm pretty sure competition for art & design work at Disney is tough and most portfolios would take a crap all over this.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, May 26, 2016 5:27 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

What mental process led you from "will probably get some work" to "will get hired by Disney?" Serious question, can you read?

lol

I feel bad about reading Adam's posts in a monotone, lumbering voice but it sometimes pays off

I think the standard for criticism should be higher than "that took a lot of time." Smacks of "that guy had too much free time, right?"

well exactly

How about this: it took someone a whole lot of time to produce something that's kinda neat but ultimately really boring, and which 99.99% of people will never finish beyond the first few scrolls.

So it's like a self-published ebook that you give away for free!

If someone can get some animated-SVG AT-ATs going at some point I'd take that.

Tuomas just described most ilx threads

tuomas just described my phd thesis

he described the OPPOSITE of my college noise band "greatest hits" collection, though

i'm going to make one of these infographics that, as it scrolls, tells the story of my penis

ctrl++

Serious question, can you read?

serious question, have i insulted you personally on one of these threads? i feel like you are following me around bullying me. you seem weirdly invested in calling me an idiot at every opportunity.

http://i.imgur.com/8NWtZYR.jpg

yo AB, throw "CHEWBACON" on that and you've got yourself something that might go viral even faster than dude's laborious scrolling star wars graphic

I might like the infographic concept more if it were applied to a different movie. Star Wars is so trampled at this point that things like this stop being impressive.

or like... across the top it could say "CHEWBACON SAYS..." and across the bottom it could say "LET THE BACON WIN." i dunno just spitballing here, don't spend too much time on it.

yeah, that's fair jmm. i mean it'd be cool if you really felt like it was being used analytically to reveal something about the movie's structure or pacing or density of dialogue versus silence or something like that. like the author realized woah there's this crazy thing going on in movie X and this was the best way they found to depict that. instead it's just fanart for the illustrator cartoonoid generation.

I'm not interested unless we can get a shitty mashup tshirt design out of this

closed the chewbacon tab immediately, as if it contained The Entertainment

There's totally a reference to Arrested Development in the scene with the Rathtars. "This was a mistake!" "Huge!"

"This bounty hunter is my kind of scum - fearless and inventive."

http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o34/scandi14/arrested%20development/ice-gets-tobias_sm.jpg

i rewatched this tonight at home with my kids who hadn’t seen it since it came out in the cinema i.e. many lifetimes ago. they both remembered and dreaded the scene where han dies.

at one point my younger son (8) goes “why are they called the first order now?” and in reply his brother (10) says matter-of-factly “they changed the name when disney bought it”.

otm

just the sheer ballsiness of this one almost makes me want to get it
https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/star-wars-forever-ut-masumi-ishikawa-short-sleeve-graphic-t-shirt-426815.html

I would wear that, fuck the haters.

yeah that’s kinda great tbh

i don't like being "meta" in my clothing, so i'm passing but i would certainly appreciate it if i saw it out and about

oh well i noticed this was up for sale just now too as part of their new drop:
https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/peanuts-yu-nagaba-cushion-online-exclusive-422451COL00SIZ999000.html
reader, i got both. i am a consumer lump.

It just occurred to me that I can no longer remember anything about the plot of this movie. I remember a few moments in it -- Rei walking on walls or something, a basement scene with a diminutive creature and some kind of magical memory awakening, images of middle-aged leia and han, Adam Driver yelling, John Boyega breathing a lot, Oscar Isaac maybe crashed? Or was that John Boyega?

awkward co-parenting scenes with Han and Leia

I'll give you a hint about the plot: it was exactly the same as A New Hope

Oscar Isaac and John Boyega stole a tie fighter, which was the best part of the movie imo

That and the magic bread-puff

this movies biggest/only legacy in my household is the line "ONE QUARTER PORTION""

Magic bread puff was actually a practical effect I think! They inflated it from below.