LOLZ in the Conference Room; I'd Like to EXCELSIOR some of that

Or make a dubstep tune.

Tosh.0 jokes take over lolz thread

a bloke came around to my flat a few weeks ago from the rspca - he was v good at not letting you get rid of him, despite the fact my dinner was going cold on the table, firstworldproblems etc.

anyway i asked him did he have a leaflet to try and head him off at the pass, i think i had cooked a nice piece of hake, but there was no leaflet, and he kept at me about whether i had pets as a kid, and next thing i'm there saying how i buried my goldfish in the garden when i was six and wrote its name on the brick in magic marker, and so on.

and all the time i'm trying to think how can i get him to the point and get rid of him, so in the end i went for a bit of good old relativism and i was like:

"i mean, i hear what you're saying, but my feeling would be that there are a huge amount of worthy causes in this country and it's not possible to contribute to them all," delighted with how reasonable this sounded.

and straight away he just replied "which ones do you contribute to?"

and i instantly replied "none".

and i swear i have never laughed so hard in my life - he was laughing too, even as he went on to talk about dying dogs etc. i had to put my head between my knees i was laughing so hard, the wild laughter of a movie maniac villain, mixed with normal mirth.

in the end i practically suggested going for a beer. good luck to him.

― Evil Juice Box Man (LocalGarda)

poignant

The problem I have with those type of workplace charity participation events is that it reduces the problem itself—ALS research donations?—to the level of a meme. Sure, money gets raised, but I take my charity with a bit more solemnity thank you very much. That movember thing, my god, stop talking about it. I'm injecting a mixture of bleach and airplane glue into my own prostate just to MAKE IT STOP.

― fields of salmon, Friday, August 22, 2014 12:37 AM (11 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Still gonna need a bucket then.

― pplains, Friday, August 22, 2014 1:18 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ya

pp is one of my fav ilxors

his gta stories are just the best

on dat pasta thread

I'm more happy paying $15+ if it's stuffed pasta or gnocchi, something besides what (even at good places) comes in a box

― Euler, Friday, August 22, 2014 9:10 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

but some really wonderful things come in boxes

― Peeking at Peak Petty (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, August 22, 2014 9:18 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*gets down on one knee*

― Peeking at Peak Petty (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, August 22, 2014 9:18 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*restaurant goes silent*
*olive garden waitstaff gather*

― Peeking at Peak Petty (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, August 22, 2014 9:19 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*I think, 'thank god the chicken con broccoli was perfect tonight'*

― Peeking at Peak Petty (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, August 22, 2014 9:21 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh yeah

well done

hahahaha

yeah I enjoyed that one, especially "chicken con broccoli"

ha, I hopped into the shower after that string of posts and immediately regretted them. so I'm relieved that some posters lol'd. that whole thread, like every food based thread, is my favorite.

Dunno about tazing. I've read story after story in the last 10 years of citizens dying after getting taxed because the cop wouldn't go through the bother of calming the citizen down.

― guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, August 22, 2014 1:03 PM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^ The only two certain things in life

― 龜, Friday, August 22, 2014 1:06 PM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ha, I hopped into the shower after that string of posts and immediately regretted them. so I'm relieved that some posters lol'd. that whole thread, like every food based thread, is my favorite.

― Peeking at Peak Petty (Sufjan Grafton),

you've read the food fight threads right

I'm not sure. Are they poll threads? Or is it a special class like C or D?

series of polls search food fight

ty!

Will lol at you spinach-eating shitheads when you get sonned by ice cream.

― JimD, Sunday, August 1, 2010 7:49 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahaha

i wish there was a brand of cookies called 'oh wells'

― SEEMS TO ME (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, August 22, 2014 11:28 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i never thought i'd say it but Joobajooba otm

― go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu)

En Vogue had a standout hit on their own that continues to be a great feminist break-up record in “Never Gonna Get It,” a predecessor to Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies” in the realm of songs empowering women to tell those disrespectful ex-boyfriends where they can shove it.

this mix of declarative flatness with calculated informal breaks is exactly how my students write for the paper.

― guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, August 26, 2014 4:25 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

idk what people mean by "feminist" anymore

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, August 26, 2014 4:40 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fortunately neither does anybody else apparently

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, August 26, 2014 4:40 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Feminist: a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes

― Daphnis Celesta, Tuesday, August 26, 2014 4:42 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://www.vox.com/2014/8/27/6006139/did-tony-die-at-the-end-of-the-sopranos

worth reading imo

― Cindy Operahouse (WilliamC), Wednesday, August 27, 2014 9:20 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

So when he answered the "Did Tony die" question, he was laconic.

Just the fact and no interpretation. He shook his head "no." And he said simply, "No he isn't." That was all.

um

― lag∞n, Wednesday, August 27, 2014 11:40 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"No, he isn't die".

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, August 27, 2014 11:42 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so good

um http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/neil-young-files-for-divorce-from-pegi-young-wife-of-36-years-20140826

― you couldn't even wear a fedora if your lifes depended on it (stevie), Tuesday, 26 August 2014 21:09 (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this dude is always copping moves from sonic youth

― you couldn't even wear a fedora if your lifes depended on it (stevie), Tuesday, 26 August 2014 21:13 (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you're all nute, this movie is one incredible whole

― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Thursday, August 28, 2014 11:24 AM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

nuts*

― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Thursday, August 28, 2014 11:24 AM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

gr otm ur all nute

― lag∞n, Thursday, August 28, 2014 11:25 AM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the ending blows

― famous instagram God (waterface), Thursday, August 28, 2014 11:26 AM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the rest is good tho

― famous instagram God (waterface), Thursday, August 28, 2014 11:27 AM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wow "nute" is a weird GiS

― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Thursday, August 28, 2014 11:27 AM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the ending is incred

― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Thursday, August 28, 2014 11:27 AM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you just hate it because he falls in love with a sandface

― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Thursday, August 28, 2014 11:29 AM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

nice

context please people

he meant to say the word "nuts"

actually i think he was trying to say "incredible"

My lols are very nute with me what can I do?

we kick it nute down

No results found for "we kick it nuts down".

Last year, 858 Maryland residents died due to alcohol or drug intoxication; that's enough to replace the entire University of Maryland football team more than eight times.
Read more: http://www.baltimoresun.com/#ixzz3BnIzY7BB

― how's life, Friday, August 29, 2014 11:12 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

weird comparison

― flatizza (harbl), Friday, August 29, 2014 5:15 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's enough to replace oliver platt 858 times

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, August 29, 2014 5:29 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

would've been a really f'ed up football team

8 teams. the dead addict bracket.

Judging from this thread, American Politics 2014 suffers from such advanced political rigor mortis that we are left with nothing to talk about. Even mocking these politicians and issues for the hundredth time has become extremely tedious.

― Aimless, Friday, August 29, 2014 4:00 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!

― son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Friday, August 29, 2014 4:02 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

rigor morbius

R&B 2014

how does ilx bandwidth compare to other message boards? it seems like there are a billion phpBB forums out there, and ilx is relatively clean and feature-free by comparison (or so it seems to me). is our bandwidth exceptionally large for some reason? audience size?

― Mordy, Friday, September 5, 2014 4:18 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fuckin post length

― nakh is the wintour of our diss content (darraghmac), Friday, September 5, 2014 4:20 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

loool

deems have u actually seen what vbb forums look like these days, yr average car board post length is closer to contenderizer or Coffee Bob than am0n

it was just a punchline nakh

just a punchline

I was at the Jane's Addiction show included in the Cabinet of Curiosities box.
I was at Pussy Galore's last L.A. show in 1989.
I was at the GG Allin show that opens the movie Hated.
I was at Patti Smith's NYC comeback show at Irving Plaza in 1996.
I was at the first NYC show by the reunited Stooges in 2003.
I was at 2NE1's first East Coast concert in Newark, NJ (their second US performance ever).
I was at Fushitsusha's last NYC show in 2003.
I was at Sonny Rollins's 80th birthday concert when Ornette Coleman came out and they played together for the first time since, like, 1960.
I think that's all I got.

― Humorist (horse) (誤訳侮辱), Saturday, 6 September 2014 02:37 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i got wasted for the first time ever in a bar across from cbgb, but did not go any nearer to cbgb, in 2005

― difficult listening hour, Saturday, 6 September 2014 02:56 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I was probably at a cool show once, but I was too drunk to remember.

― emil.y, Saturday, 6 September 2014 03:00 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

think u'll find that myself + unreg pwned that thread the hardest

but that was good too

FFS if you want to excelsior yourself just go ahead and do it

just a bit disorienting to see the aftershocks claim more dead