Hitting on people

How do you do it ?

yell "knockout" first

I try to be adorable and wait for people to hit on me.

Just got hit on for the first time in forever by an intoxicated eastern European with a lot on her mind

i don't hit on people

If you can dunk, try to find a good moment to slam dunk

If anyone says that it's easy for you to slam dunk because you're so tall, pick them up and dunk them

Just meet the eye and drop the hand, niiice

sup

http://saltysandyeggo.com/BoardPostPics/sardine_hooking.jpg

I am bad at this. I am also bad at getting hit on -- I totally freeze up. It's probably a good thing I'm married, and it's probably good for my marriage that I'm bad at both hitting on and being hit on.

is this like a subtweet, or

hey girl

An aul one dropped the hand on me on a dublin bus the once, i was morto scarrrle wha

The last time I smiled at at a guy as a first step in trying to hit on him, he flinched. Ever since then I have been too chickenhearted to try again.

you sure he didn't just flinch out of nervousness?

I have no idea--he was a random "hipster" in my favorite "hipster" bar. Ever since then I have metaphorically if not literally holed myself up at home and wondered if I'll ever meet anyone before I'm too riddled with dementia to remember what sex is.

often involves stimulation of genitals or other erogenous zones iirc

^^^^smh

sex, that is

sex mh

Great now Im picturing mh dressed as Prince.

same old

i think for some ppl it is just literally impossible to do this

I think this comes down to intent; if you're just talking to someone, it's nothing, but if you have an ulterior motive, that would count as hitting on

Like am I hitting on this person or just talking to them?

in jurisprudence that concept is termed men's rea

I recommended a record to her. Am I hitting on her? Shit.

"men's rea"

:D

haha nice

she kissed the other waiter. shit.

Can I buy you a round?

i just strike up a convo and see if it goes anywhere.

make a hand gesture as if you are swiping right

I look longingly from afar, and then look away when they look in my direction.

otm

Admit nothing, that's my motto.

remember that hitting up is awesome and hitting down is purest evil

i just hit people and see where it takes me

how YOU doin

*waggles eyebrows*

I look longingly from afar, and then look away when they look in my direction.

― Chewshabadoo, Sunday, July 27, 2014 6:28 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm but i tend to look away when anybody looks in my direction

last night I had probably 5 guinnesses in me and I looked around the bar and this girl at the table across from me (who was slightly drunk, as was her b/f) glanced in my direction. didn't think much of it, resumed talking to my friends. two seconds later I'm looking that way again (as that's the way I was facing) and we make eye contact and unlike usual, I didn't pull my glance away and she gave me a flirtatious wink.

given that I'm not about O.P.P., it felt a bit awkward, but stuff like that never happens w/ me so it was more surprise than anything.

1. See someone you like
2. ???
3. i just strike up a convo and see if it goes anywhere.
4. Profit!

Or is it just me that finds step 2 the hardest?

2.) benign compliment about their outfit or hairstyle or best yet, glasses. usually the response is "thanks! i like your glasses too."

tried that but usually the response I get is "I'm not wearing glasses, are you high?".

which tbf I am

I find that picking the weakest member of the surrounding group and destroying them physically or verbally is a good step 2, gives u that swagger needed to bring yr game to play

Then you should just start right in on your kino escalation.

Follow them around, talk bollocks to them, drunkenly lunge at an arbitrary moment. Works maybe 25% of the time.

Pie to the face also works

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT7TPdBhJgWA3q80jwWRT4r3h4YZGZ5cyEQYZ1SrEE4mpVabSYO9xDd_0s

sit embarrassed until they react positively to someone else's compliment, then cut in out of jealousy

oh yeah, def. sometimes I've waited years for the chance tbh.

You girls wanna smoke?

absolutely, sugarplums

How do you do it ?

Not an expert, lord knows. I think it may have some resemblance to flirting, but with added sexual entendre and body language. If that doesn't do it, I got nuthin' to offer.

hey baby -- how do you feel about children in bars

make them a gratin with a healthy pinch of nutmeg

Where are you from? Because no one here is from here

"Can I look at your nudeness?"

:D

much giggling tbpfh

how many negs do u do on a typical night

Buy you a vending machine coffee?

Ditch that loser sweetcheeks, I'll buy you a vending machine.

Hi. Want to share my Doom Bar?

*snickers softly*

have a snickers baby, you're not like you when you're softly

hey have u ever tried starbucks? great coffee, take it from me

so, come here often?

so, uh, you…

i bet you i could even palm an extra large basketball. i'm big and strong!

RU on ilx

i've had my own place for four months now

Can I buy you guys a round?

Did an angel lose its wings? Because--wait, are angels males or females?

according to my extensive early education in hitting on people you must:

• say "hubba hubba!" repeatedly, with great enthusiasm
• describe an hourglass figure in the air with your hands (or paws)
• roll your tongue out and pant heavily
• flap your arms and crow like a rooster
• shoot steam from your ears
• howl like a wolf
• hit yourself on the forehead with your fist
• say "hello gorgeous"

stares longingly across the green field at barefoot person w frisbee

today a very beautiful woman smoking a cigarette on the library steps was staring at me, but in this way that seemed scary and almost confrontational. i thought there was maybe a 2-5% chance that she wanted me to come over and talk to her, but i didn't want to push my luck so i looked down at my shoes and hurried into the library. signature move.

^ long game

sigged her

Aimless-That cracked me up so much! You forgot turning into a thermometer and tuning red as your temperature rises.

do you want to see all my albums by bands?

let's go back to my apartment and scroll through my itunes library

actually you don't need to come to my apartment; I'll share my Spotify account with you

check your email ; )

no, look in the spam folder ; )

oh wait maybe it hasn't come through yet… ; |