THE WORST NME COVER OF ALL TIME

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The best nme.com of all time?

spoof

― Rubber Ogden, Thursday, 3 March 2005 09:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Well weapon!

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:03 (nineteen years ago) link

haha, the 'Queens Of Noise are great' headline links to the Auto Trader website

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Ha, even better than the real thing.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:17 (nineteen years ago) link

hahaha

― NRQ, Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Good work that man.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 3 March 2005 11:15 (nineteen years ago) link

six months pass...

http://nme.com/images/69_190905_killers_cover.jpg

NME comes out every Wednesday, is priced a mere £1.90 and is available in all good newsagents.

This Week
New Look NME! More Reviews! Bigger Radar! All new sections!

Needless to say, it's shit. The reviews have moved to the center pages (probably would work better if there was more of them, probably only moved them to disguise the lack of interviews), a horrible new font which looks like it's out of a student magazine (probably the intention) WHICH THEN CHANGES HALFWAY THOROUGH to a 'serious' font with those serif things on for the hard-hitting interview with The Killers about shampoo or oranges or stamps, or something.

There's even a strangely apologetic "Editor's Letter" from Conor McFuck where his gist is essentially "We don't know why we changed it".

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 08:26 (eighteen years ago) link

Who the fuck are "Arctic Monkeys"?

― Philip Alderman (Phil A), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 08:35 (eighteen years ago) link

one pound ninety!?

― N_RQ, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 08:57 (eighteen years ago) link

The killers are pig ugly, and their music sucks shit through a straw.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 09:02 (eighteen years ago) link

...so i guess i won't be buying nme this week either.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 09:02 (eighteen years ago) link

How is that new Radiohead track mind-bending?

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 09:06 (eighteen years ago) link

becuase the journos are not used to listening to anything good/interesting.

― hmmm (hmmm), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 10:48 (eighteen years ago) link

It looks like a free magazine my bank would send me to let me know about all the interesting people that have accounts with them.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 10:59 (eighteen years ago) link

NO, it's-ah pashmina-ah that sucks-ah shit-ah through-ah a straw-ah!

― Mark E. Smith, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 11:15 (eighteen years ago) link

the one with shaun ryder and his nose full of cocke.

― hub, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 14:24 (eighteen years ago) link

If a publisher launched a new weekly music magazine - they would wipe the floor with competition so weak as the NME.

― DJ Martiain, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 15:03 (eighteen years ago) link

I have said it before - but there must be a publisher out there with the guts to take on a weak and sickly NME ! ...and launch a new music magazine.. the time is right NOW

― DJ Martiain, Wednesday, 21 September 2005 15:05 (eighteen years ago) link

imposter ALERT ! YOU Cheeky parody MONKEY !

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 15:12 (eighteen years ago) link

How is that new Radiohead track mind-bending?

-- Sick Mouthy (sickmouth...), September 21st, 2005.

The lyrics are "look into my eyesssss/you arrrrrre gettttinnnnng sleeeeepppppyyyy"

― ken taylrr has gone off the internet because of you (ken taylrr), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 15:13 (eighteen years ago) link

oh come on. its a good mag. and you are all a bunch of tossers who nothing better to do then complain!

― lipzo tyson, Tuesday, 27 September 2005 13:00 (eighteen years ago) link

Cutting.

― kit brash (kit brash), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 13:12 (eighteen years ago) link

Have they spelt Shaun Ryder's name wrong on that front page?

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 13:59 (eighteen years ago) link

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:32 (eighteen years ago) link

LOL

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:33 (eighteen years ago) link

I like that it says "Oasis" TWICE on the cover.

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:34 (eighteen years ago) link

taking sides Momus NME Vs Strokes NME

http://www.nme.com/images/69_270905_strokes_cover.jpg

[Strokes a band that are so naff 2001]

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:48 (eighteen years ago) link

MAD NEW SOUND!

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 15:51 (eighteen years ago) link

Hahahahahaha "The Single That Will Change Everything...Again"

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 16:55 (eighteen years ago) link

That cover has convinced me that the NME staffers need to have their coke allowance withdrawn, pronto.

― Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 16:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Did the Strokes get a new Julian?

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 17:20 (eighteen years ago) link

"the single that will change everything back to the way it was before, sorry about that"

― kit brash (kit brash), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 21:55 (eighteen years ago) link

"The Soundtrack of YOUR Summer".

read: "We tell YOU what to listen to and you will do it".

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 22:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Arctic Monkeys are a bunch of twelve year olds who sing about how they got beat up by their girlfriends.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 22:09 (eighteen years ago) link

how fucking dare you say that artic monkeys are crap.
whats next the libertines were a bit shit?
how old are you any way?

― lipzo tyson, Wednesday, 28 September 2005 17:59 (eighteen years ago) link

i like how it says 'can they do it again'? in a present tense like that. as if any self respecting 18-24 year old hasn't already heard, liked/ dismissed the new franz lp by now.

still, to be fair to them there are club listings now, and the NME was where i first read about ANNIE way back in summer 04, so i'll always defend some of the content, still buy it.

― piscesboy, Wednesday, 28 September 2005 18:07 (eighteen years ago) link

MAD NEW JULIAN

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:21 (eighteen years ago) link

i like how it says 'can they do it again'? in a present tense like that. as if any self respecting 18-24 year old hasn't already heard, liked/ dismissed the new franz lp by now.

Sadly, they're probably referring to sales and such.

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:28 (eighteen years ago) link

"the single that will change everything back to the way it was before, sorry about that"

Haha.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 20:37 (eighteen years ago) link

Was that guy on the left always in the Strokes?

― JoB (JoB), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:04 (eighteen years ago) link

Was that guy on the left always in the Strokes?

-- JoB (jobdewi...), September 28th, 2005.

Judging from that, I think it's Nick Valensi that needs his coke allowance withdrawn. Goodbye sunken cheekbones, hello fatface.

― Cracks (Crackity), Wednesday, 28 September 2005 21:16 (eighteen years ago) link

Drugs don't make you thin anymore? The fug?

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Thursday, 29 September 2005 00:13 (eighteen years ago) link

i like how it says 'can they do it again'? in a present tense like that. as if any self respecting 18-24 year old hasn't already heard, liked/ dismissed the new franz lp by now.

i am glad to be 25, so idon't have internet dudes disrespecting me for not hearing albums before they come out.

― N_RQ (Enrique), Thursday, 29 September 2005 10:36 (eighteen years ago) link

It's like there's so much clutter on the cover now all they have room four is the faces of 4 or 5 men grouped around the lead singer in the foreground.

Rather like the 'groom with ushers' shot of a cheap wedding photographer.

― bham, Thursday, 29 September 2005 10:51 (eighteen years ago) link

huh? when did nme turn into a full colour glossy magazine?

― nerve, Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:42 (eighteen years ago) link

re cover clutter. exactly what soooo wrong with the whole thing if you ask me.

its just soooo ugly i rarely even spend 10 minutes flicking through it.

does the new redesign tidy up the insides ? afterall the website is a lot cleaner now ?

― mark e (mark e), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Uh oh, this is bound to be shit:

http://microsites.nme.com/blog/

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Friday, 30 September 2005 22:30 (eighteen years ago) link

NME now designed especially for 17 year old indie dorks in Doncaster. This week NME features the most useless band in Britain

http://www.nme.com/images/82_81005_babyshambles_cover.jpg

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:25 (eighteen years ago) link

Why does Pete Doherty have that weird Afro?

― Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:27 (eighteen years ago) link

b-but "oasis and kasabian unite", martian! Who could fail to be thrilled by such news!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 4 October 2005 14:28 (eighteen years ago) link

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