Macaulay Culkin's pizza-themed Velvet Underground cover band

It only got worse. The next day, Patton Oswalt—comedian, professional troll, wildly outspoken opponent of Internet outrage—sent several tweets to his millions of followers criticizing my tone. “Way to topple the mighty,” one read.

I couldn’t help but think that if I was a comedian myself, Patton Oswalt—someone who pretends to mock oppressed people (like the transgendered) in service of proving that nothing in comedy should be out of bounds—wouldn’t have been so disapproving; that my blog post would have fallen under the welcoming umbrella of free speech in comedy. Instead, I was a journalist trying to be funny and therefore not allowed to hurt anyone’s feelings, even those of millionaire celebrities and their well-compensated publicists. I wasn’t part of the protected comedy class, and so I wholly deserved the scorn he heaped upon my feeble attempts at mean-spirited humor. Or so it seemed.

Civilians, journalists, famous comedians like Nikki Glaser, comedy fans: all came out against me, saying I was bitter, a failure, jealous, fat, a terrible journalist, a terrible person, a bitch, an asshole, a cunt, that I would rot in hell

In large part it's just too long in relation to the interest/significance of the story, lots of mundane detail that could be left out.

otm

this was usurped on my facebook by a story about a guy who gave public enemy a lift in his car. so, not a lot of legs...

patton oswalt is so fucking annoying. this diss by tim heidecker about those corny as fuck "twitter essays" still cracks me up:

@timheidecker
(1/256) humor, which began in ancient times has always been an important part of society...