THE WORST NME COVER OF ALL TIME

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with no actual article in it, just an extended listicle ..

the metro on a wednesday has better (and more) reviews in it now.

mark e, Thursday, 16 June 2016 21:51 (seven years ago) link

strangely reminds me of Youth Suicide in a way

PaulTMA, Thursday, 16 June 2016 21:57 (seven years ago) link

Magazine suicide more like

Oh baby, if only you knew / Gabnebb hit a hundred-and-two (stevie), Friday, 17 June 2016 07:53 (seven years ago) link

Faintly surprised it's still going.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 17 June 2016 08:08 (seven years ago) link

Shit By Both Sides

Cosmic Slop, Friday, 17 June 2016 11:47 (seven years ago) link

surely only a matter of weeks before the content of every article is 100% emojis too

whenever i see a copy of the nme now it's part of a massive stack of unclaimed issues - is anyone even reading anymore other than the morbidly curious music journalism diehard? the most recent abc figures to the end of 2015 show they were distributing more than 300,000 copies of each issue but i have no earthly idea who might be picking them up

an alternate version of his real world dog (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 17 June 2016 13:35 (seven years ago) link

Walking past shoreditch high street this morning they had 3 people handing them out. Its p easy to be handed something. Reading it is another matter.

plums (a hoy hoy), Friday, 17 June 2016 13:43 (seven years ago) link

You just don't see anyone reading it. Get on the train and there are people reading Time Out and Stylist and Shortlist all over the place but you pretty much never see anyone reading the NME.

Matt DC, Friday, 17 June 2016 13:52 (seven years ago) link

You can finish it in about 5 mins.

Mark G, Friday, 17 June 2016 14:11 (seven years ago) link

Ive tried. Its not even a magazine though. No reviews, no interviews, no news. Basically its some hair gel adverts and a couple pictures of pop stars or ladrock stars and oh look a bin why am i carrying this

plums (a hoy hoy), Friday, 17 June 2016 14:19 (seven years ago) link

How long is it going to last then? Surely not long now.

PaulTMA, Friday, 17 June 2016 14:25 (seven years ago) link

https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7342/27789557981_3851da8532_o.png

PaulTMA, Thursday, 23 June 2016 23:04 (seven years ago) link

Hmm, a cup of tea.

Mark G, Friday, 24 June 2016 06:15 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

No idea what the content is like for this, but the cover echoes the previous 'Anarchy in the UK' cover in 2000 regarding the May Day anti-capitalist riots.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cn3tbTHWEAAOVPc.jpg

painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture (DavidM), Thursday, 21 July 2016 08:29 (seven years ago) link

the past couple of issues have been pretty political too, very critical of of the brexit vote. i'm sure it's one such voice among many within media targetted at young people, but it did make it seem slightly less redundant

frank field of the nephilim (NickB), Thursday, 21 July 2016 09:13 (seven years ago) link

i might choose to disown that comment though if the next cover is owen smith hanging out with the kooks

frank field of the nephilim (NickB), Thursday, 21 July 2016 09:15 (seven years ago) link

Did they do a cover about the referendum before it happened? because that might actually have been useful

woke newt (stevie), Thursday, 21 July 2016 09:40 (seven years ago) link

Brexit tout seul is about as apolitical a Lib Dem talking point as you can get, hence Mr Kooks etc

Guangchang, thank you man (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 21 July 2016 09:43 (seven years ago) link

I can confirm that they did cover the Referendum, yes.

The usual thing, a bunch of indie stars (me neither) saying that Remain was the way, for the most part.

Mark G, Thursday, 21 July 2016 10:33 (seven years ago) link

I felt sure that the thread revive would be to say it was closing completely.

djh, Thursday, 21 July 2016 19:57 (seven years ago) link

only a matter of time I'm sure

Cosmic Slop, Thursday, 21 July 2016 20:05 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Quite a good fit, they're both very brand-conscious. At the expense of everything else, except the brand.

Also, quite a lot of hidden truth in the small phoned-in subheading:

"Let the mischief commence"

mischief < Old French, noun derivative of meschever, to end badly, come to grief

sbahnhof, Saturday, 13 August 2016 09:08 (seven years ago) link

I like how this cover has "F**K THE GENERAL PUBLIC" written on it, particularly since the "general public" has been saying "FUCK THE NME" for years now.

the hair - it's lost its energy (Turrican), Saturday, 13 August 2016 09:11 (seven years ago) link

i like the devil horns from the M. have they done that before?
but yeah, gervais in 2016 making a dumb face, no.

Einstein, Kazanga, Sitar (abanana), Saturday, 13 August 2016 09:19 (seven years ago) link

I don't think the general public knows what the NME is.

Matt DC, Saturday, 13 August 2016 10:07 (seven years ago) link

That YouTube ad where Gervais says "Don't press skip I want to show you a trailer for my new movie" <<< FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

and all the politicians making crazy sounds (snoball), Saturday, 13 August 2016 10:08 (seven years ago) link

If you read the interview, the highlighted comment makes sense in context.

You know that, of course.

Mark G, Saturday, 13 August 2016 10:55 (seven years ago) link

up next: The New Corden Revolution

PaulTMA, Sunday, 14 August 2016 11:32 (seven years ago) link

five months pass...

OK, this thread will do as the search function is broker.

This weeks NME has an article about Lego. Why? Because of how its used in the Lego Batman movie.

Mark G, Sunday, 12 February 2017 09:56 (seven years ago) link

one month passes...

Stormzy is going ham on NME on Twitter right now with some justification.

Matt DC, Thursday, 16 March 2017 13:30 (seven years ago) link

@Stormzy1

You lot know I don't rant or open my mouth up for no reason but serious @NME magazine are the biggest bunch of sly, foul PAIGONS.

18m
#GSAP‏ @Stormzy1
@NME They've used me on their cover without my permission. Depression is a very very sensitive issue and it's something I've spoken about

16m
#GSAP‏ @Stormzy1
@NME it is a subject that isn't the easiest thing to speak about. And I've been careful in how I've dealt with it in the media

16m
#GSAP‏ @Stormzy1
@NME after I spoke on it I realised how widespread the issue is which made me think ok kool maybe that was the right thing to do at first

14m
#GSAP‏ @Stormzy1
@NME However using my face as a poster boy for it to sell your magazine is so foul and below the belt I will never respect you lot

Matt DC, Thursday, 16 March 2017 13:36 (seven years ago) link

Is anyone even reading it these days

How can it possibly have survived this far into 2017

PaulTMA, Thursday, 16 March 2017 13:39 (seven years ago) link

@Stormzy1 49m49 minutes ago
More
@NME You lot are a bunch of real life fucking pussyholes. Proper dickheads. We've had a good relationship before this, why do you think

@Stormzy1 48m48 minutes ago

@NME it is kool to use my me as a poster boy for such a sensitive issue without permission? You lot have been begging me to be on your cover

@Stormzy1 47m47 minutes ago

@NME and you go and do it in the biggest pussyhole, sly way possible. Bunch of fucking paigons

Matt DC, Thursday, 16 March 2017 13:46 (seven years ago) link

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=paigon
Top Definition

paigon

friend that lies betrays and isnt true to u

drini: u wana cum cinema
dina: na i woz feelin sik all week includin toai so am stayin home
drini: k den

- hour later drini is walkin to the cinemas-

drini see's dina in the near by shop wiv sum of her frenz drini thinks omg wot a PAIGON SHE LIED TO ME DAT BITCH

Mark G, Thursday, 16 March 2017 14:52 (seven years ago) link

they're still printing over 300,000 issues a week - in fact, the latest abc figures show a rise in circulation from july to december last year

where is the money coming from?! i'm starting to wonder if the continued existence of the nme is some kind of the producers-style high-concept scam

not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:05 (seven years ago) link

lol! paigon is one of them funny words that make me irrationally giddy.

calzino, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:09 (seven years ago) link

Paigon is clearly this generation's great insult for many many reasons. Just incredibly verbally satisfying.

Matt DC, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:21 (seven years ago) link

The editor has been on Twitter trying to smooth this over and is both lying and taking him for a moron, arguing that because they're a freesheet they aren't trying to shift copies.

Matt DC, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:22 (seven years ago) link

Do you pronounce it like Miss Paigon or like a paigon ritual?

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:22 (seven years ago) link

i assumed it was derived from pagan but maybe not? it is an excellent word

mark s, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:25 (seven years ago) link

sometimes spelled pagan fwiw

need to know the etymology too

lex pretend, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:26 (seven years ago) link

nme remains trash obviously

lex pretend, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:26 (seven years ago) link

Where the fuck are they putting these 300,000 copies? Cos I never see them around. Are they still distributing them via university campuses?

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:33 (seven years ago) link

they are, according to their abc info

the rest get dumped in canals up and down the country i assume

not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:34 (seven years ago) link

never seen one in scotland

Odysseus, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:35 (seven years ago) link

They give them out at London train stations. I think I even read one once.

Colonel Poo, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:36 (seven years ago) link

i've seen a copy left on a bus now and then

mark s, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:37 (seven years ago) link

i've seen some in fopp on byres rd i think, and i've seen them in glasgow uni and some shops in town too. mind you i'm always surprised whenever i do happen across a pile of copies

not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:37 (seven years ago) link

saw some in an eastbourne record shop last year, never on a campus though.

devvvine, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:38 (seven years ago) link


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