Scientific Attempt To Create Most Annoying Song Ever

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baaderonixx, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 16:52 (fifteen years ago) link

The most unwanted music is over 25 minutes long, veers wildly between loud and quiet sections, between fast and slow tempos, and features timbres of extremely high and low pitch, with each dichotomy presented in abrupt transition. The most unwanted orchestra was determined to be large, and features the accordion and bagpipe (which tie at 13% as the most unwanted instrument), banjo, flute, tuba, harp, organ, synthesizer (the only instrument that appears in both the most wanted and most unwanted ensembles). An operatic soprano raps and sings atonal music, advertising jingles, political slogans, and "elevator" music, and a children's choir sings jingles and holiday songs. The most unwanted subjects for lyrics are cowboys and holidays, and the most unwanted listening circumstances are involuntary exposure to commercials and elevator music. Therefore, it can be shown that if there is no covariance—someone who dislikes bagpipes is as likely to hate elevator music as someone who despises the organ, for example—fewer than 200 individuals of the world's total population would enjoy this piece.

Mark G, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 16:55 (fifteen years ago) link

the problem is that many parts of this are fantastic

blappin blappin my fresh (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 16:56 (fifteen years ago) link

xp - chances are, these 200 people are hanging out right here

baaderonixx, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 16:57 (fifteen years ago) link

actually pretty much every part except for the obnoxious rap near the beginning are awesome

blappin blappin my fresh (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 16:57 (fifteen years ago) link

the section with the operatic rap mixed with the children choir jingles is hurting my brain

baaderonixx, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 16:59 (fifteen years ago) link

there was a not very long thread on it a while back...
what would be your "most wanted song" and your "most unwanted song"?

cat anatomy expert (ledge), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:00 (fifteen years ago) link

do people really like operatic sopranos less than they like animal collective

blappin blappin my fresh (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:01 (fifteen years ago) link

wtf that description makes me really want to hear it

something i am about to do

Robin van Injury (country matters), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:05 (fifteen years ago) link

I bet it sounds like the Fiery Furnaces.

Maximo Park Ji-Sung (Matt DC), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:06 (fifteen years ago) link

yeah it kinda does

baaderonixx, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:06 (fifteen years ago) link

this is basically gonna be like half an hour of Resonance FM :D

Robin van Injury (country matters), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:07 (fifteen years ago) link

lol I'm thinking "The Beta Band's self-titled album" rather than The Fiery Furnaces

(a record I totally love fwiw)

Robin van Injury (country matters), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:08 (fifteen years ago) link

these guys have also come up with "America's most wanted painting", ie "an autumnal landscape with wild animals, a family enjoying the outdoors, the color blue, and George Washington". I guess that should be on ILE

baaderonixx, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:09 (fifteen years ago) link

but what the hell

http://www.diacenter.org/km/usa/most700.jpg

baaderonixx, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:09 (fifteen years ago) link

america really loves its kinkade shit and really hates its awesome musical clusterfuck insanity

what a nation

Robin van Injury (country matters), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:10 (fifteen years ago) link

Holy crap that rapping soprano. Words fail me.

Maximo Park Ji-Sung (Matt DC), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:11 (fifteen years ago) link

denmark's least wanted painting is radical:

http://www.diacenter.org/km/den/least.jpg

cat anatomy expert (ledge), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:11 (fifteen years ago) link

I took it to ILE:

Scientific Attempt To Create Most Wanted and Least Wanted Paintings (according to country)

baaderonixx, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:14 (fifteen years ago) link

this is more like a Patton project tbh

oh lol wow

Robin van Injury (country matters), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:14 (fifteen years ago) link

Hey look they made a video for it as well!

Maximo Park Ji-Sung (Matt DC), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:18 (fifteen years ago) link

(xxxpost) does that man have udders and a nob?

Anyway, this sounds like someone going through all the presets on their Yamaha auto-accompaniment keyboard.

snoball, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:19 (fifteen years ago) link

the last 3 minutes is almost unbearbly moving

cat anatomy expert (ledge), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:30 (fifteen years ago) link

^^^^^this, it's the best bit IMO

Robin van Injury (country matters), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:30 (fifteen years ago) link

greatest agit-prop choral hoedown elevator music...ever

Robin van Injury (country matters), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:31 (fifteen years ago) link

If they removed the kids singing it would be really good.

snoball, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:32 (fifteen years ago) link

I loved the kids choir till they got to holloween

Jackoff Sheesh (Batty), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:37 (fifteen years ago) link

These guys should tour with sun city girls or something. This is awesome.

filthy dylan, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:38 (fifteen years ago) link

You've gotta hear 'the most wanted song as well', it's a lost 80s soul classic. Second verse is a killer.

cat anatomy expert (ledge), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:42 (fifteen years ago) link

Whoever made the Fiery Furnaces comment was OTM.

ilxor, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 18:10 (fifteen years ago) link

Last section sounds like what I'd imagine a Danielson Famile song to sound like.

ilxor, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 18:23 (fifteen years ago) link

That, or I'm From Barcelona.

ilxor, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 18:23 (fifteen years ago) link

this song makes me happy. Every so often I think about organizing a live performance.

sarahel, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 19:19 (fifteen years ago) link

Holy crap that rapping soprano. Words fail me.

― Maximo Park Ji-Sung (Matt DC), Wednesday, February 11, 2009 5:11 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I need a thread to talk about Dina Emerson and Jonathan Segel's new band Chaos Butterfly

Milton Parker, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 19:55 (fifteen years ago) link

I simultaneously love and hate the children.

Easter Time / Chocolate Time (joygoat), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:05 (fifteen years ago) link

holy shit hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

nosotros niggamos (HI DERE), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:08 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh shit Ramadan! Lots of praying, no breakfast.

Easter Time / Chocolate Time (joygoat), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:12 (fifteen years ago) link

I am giving myself a headache trying to muffle laughter omg

nosotros niggamos (HI DERE), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:13 (fifteen years ago) link

i could have sworn we had a thread on this... i halfway think i started one

goole, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:14 (fifteen years ago) link

I know I heard about this on This American Life or something once upon a time but I never heard the whole thing before.

Easter Time / Chocolate Time (joygoat), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:16 (fifteen years ago) link

Max Tundra already did this

Boring Sign In Name (Herman G. Neuname), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:17 (fifteen years ago) link

Komar & Melamid: C or D?

ere tis

goole, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:17 (fifteen years ago) link

lol "Morning is Broken" interpolation!

nosotros niggamos (HI DERE), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:22 (fifteen years ago) link

OMG THANK U. hahahahaha this thing is amazing. I heard the 'rappin soprano' bit on the WMFU & People Like Us: DIY or Die podcast (a must for people who actually, uh, enjoyed this) and have been searching for it for ages. It goes into total merciless power-up mode when the bagpipes come in.

siskin/skulls, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:24 (fifteen years ago) link

Wow I learned something about Wittgenstein.

Tourtiere (Owen Pallett), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:25 (fifteen years ago) link

the most wanted song is fucking intolerable

goole, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:38 (fifteen years ago) link

Good tune, kinda like a poppy NWW.

Otto von Biz Markie (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:39 (fifteen years ago) link

ok the guitar solo is pretty righteous

goole, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:39 (fifteen years ago) link

Sorry I meant the Most Unwanted one.

Otto von Biz Markie (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:43 (fifteen years ago) link

lol the most wanted song is also hilarious, who knew a duet between Karyn White and Bob Seger would be so desirable?

nosotros niggamos (HI DERE), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:49 (fifteen years ago) link

Hey Everybody! It's LABOR DAY!

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Monday, 7 September 2009 18:51 (fourteen years ago) link

Labour day! Labor day! Do all your shopping - AT WALMART!

this must be what FAIL is really like (ledge), Monday, 7 September 2009 18:59 (fourteen years ago) link

confused brit inserts extra 'u'

this must be what FAIL is really like (ledge), Monday, 7 September 2009 18:59 (fourteen years ago) link

I always thought the Yom Kippur one was self-reflection and a trumpet ...

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Monday, 7 September 2009 19:07 (fourteen years ago) link

i think i recall reading about this in carl wilson's celine dion book, curious to hear this

k3vin k., Monday, 7 September 2009 19:10 (fourteen years ago) link

this song just makes me retardedly happy ... like, if I was to make a list of things to do to cheer myself up when I'm bummed, listening to this song would be on it.

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Monday, 7 September 2009 19:17 (fourteen years ago) link

I finally heard this yesterday!

sleeve, Monday, 7 September 2009 23:36 (fourteen years ago) link

It's a permanent fixture on my 'phone.

(both, that is...)

Mark G, Thursday, 10 September 2009 13:26 (fourteen years ago) link

My friend sent me a text on labor day that just said "Pools are closed and schools are open!" and I lol'd loud.

I remember the first time I heard it was on All Things Considered. I was listening to the podcast while I was walking to class and they played a clip of the opera singer rapping, and right after she was done that bagpipe kicked in and I just fucking lost it and started laughing uncontrollably on the crowded sidewalk. I think I ended up rewinding/relistening like 3 times.

An adult loves to win awards (Stevie D), Thursday, 10 September 2009 21:21 (fourteen years ago) link

Just the fact they were trying to cram ALL these "unwanted" things into one piece, and hearing an 1)opera singer 2)rapping about 3)cowboys/western themes, interjected with such an intentionally obnoxious 4)bagpipe

An adult loves to win awards (Stevie D), Thursday, 10 September 2009 21:24 (fourteen years ago) link

Someone who dislikes bagpipes is as likely to hate elevator music as someone who despises the organ.

m0stlyClean, Friday, 11 September 2009 01:47 (fourteen years ago) link

You know what the "Most Annoying Song" reminds me of, funnily enough, is the "Kangaroo?" album by the Red Krayola with Art and Language. Which is one of my favorite albums ever.

Maltodextrin, Friday, 11 September 2009 08:04 (fourteen years ago) link

seven years pass...

stumbled across this on futility closet, i like it

nxd, Monday, 10 April 2017 10:03 (seven years ago) link

I had forgotten exactly how hilarious the rapping soprano is.

Rachel Luther Queen (DJP), Monday, 10 April 2017 16:28 (seven years ago) link

haven't heard this in years but I do remember the bagpipe causing me to laugh out loud

frogbs, Monday, 10 April 2017 16:36 (seven years ago) link

made it without cracking up until the kids singing about yom kippur and spiritual atonement with the national anthem playing and wal-mart plugs

global tetrahedron, Monday, 10 April 2017 17:24 (seven years ago) link

okay the last couple minutes of this are great

global tetrahedron, Monday, 10 April 2017 17:34 (seven years ago) link

Ahhh, I loved this so much, always glad to be reminded of its existence.

emil.y, Monday, 10 April 2017 17:41 (seven years ago) link

I'd like to see the whole project revisited, tbh. I wonder if tastes will have changed.

emil.y, Monday, 10 April 2017 17:43 (seven years ago) link

whenever there's a terrorist attack or US bombing raid in the middle east, I always think:

WHO KILLED ALL THE INNOCENT CHILDREN?!! YOU DID! YOU!

sarahell, Monday, 10 April 2017 17:43 (seven years ago) link

xp - we could always do this. We could start by creating ILX's most unwanted song

sarahell, Monday, 10 April 2017 17:46 (seven years ago) link

extrapolate it from a bunch of unwanted posters

Raul Chamgerlain (Noodle Vague), Monday, 10 April 2017 17:49 (seven years ago) link

so the lyrics would be composed of tanuki, gabbneb, loujags, and whiney g posts

definitely should involve a non-hemiola for old tymes sake

sarahell, Monday, 10 April 2017 17:51 (seven years ago) link

LJ and Turrican should collaborate on the music for it.

Punnet of the Grapes (Tom D.), Monday, 10 April 2017 17:55 (seven years ago) link

i think you mean the musical content

Raul Chamgerlain (Noodle Vague), Monday, 10 April 2017 17:57 (seven years ago) link

xp - we could always do this. We could start by creating ILX's most unwanted song

― sarahell, Monday, April 10, 2017 6:46 PM (twenty-one minutes ago)

I'd be up for running a ballot survey and doing this, but I fear the most wanted music would just be overrun with votes for Gaz Coombes and Toilet Duck.

emil.y, Monday, 10 April 2017 18:09 (seven years ago) link

now there's a collaboration that needs to happen

Raul Chamgerlain (Noodle Vague), Monday, 10 April 2017 18:11 (seven years ago) link

Not trying to say I'm *not* on Team Toilet Duck, btw. Duck is definitely on my team (quack).

emil.y, Monday, 10 April 2017 18:11 (seven years ago) link

Also we could just do this in google forms, couldn't we? No need for complex ballots. HMMMMM.

emil.y, Monday, 10 April 2017 18:12 (seven years ago) link

geez I still need to do a toilet duck remix of our recent singer-songwriter's train track

sarahell, Monday, 10 April 2017 18:28 (seven years ago) link

feel guilty about stalling on my own esperantish megamix

anyway e.mily this is not a terrible idea and i promise not to duck boost if it goes ahead

Raul Chamgerlain (Noodle Vague), Monday, 10 April 2017 18:49 (seven years ago) link

Their 'most wanted painting' survey is all online, but I can't find the music one anywhere, so I'm going to have to make it up from scratch. I am into this idea, though!

emil.y, Monday, 10 April 2017 19:32 (seven years ago) link

I don't think it was a ranked choice survey, I think some of the questions were yes/no, with some multiple choice.

It was something like this (though I added things here and there)

Genres: pop, rock, R&B, opera, country/western, classical (instrumental), classical (choral), rap, jazz, military/national anthems, electronic dance music, non-idiomatic free improv

Subject matter: love, sex, holidays, food, politics, history, philosophy, art, literature, television and films, family, fashion, transportation, science, religion, jokes

Instruments: guitar, electric bass, drums, flute, piano, organ, electronic noise generators, violin, cello, viola, contrabass, oboe, clarinet, bassoon, tuba, trombone, trumpet, saxophone, sousaphone, flugelhorn, bagpipes, oud, drum machine, field recordings of nature sounds, field recordings of urban sounds, xylophone, classical percussion, ethnic percussion

vccal styles ...

sarahell, Monday, 10 April 2017 19:44 (seven years ago) link

too hard

Raul Chamgerlain (Noodle Vague), Monday, 10 April 2017 19:45 (seven years ago) link

This doesn't really need to be done as The 1975 have put two albums since 2009, so take your pick.

...so music and chicken have become intertwined (Turrican), Monday, 10 April 2017 20:12 (seven years ago) link

*out

...so music and chicken have become intertwined (Turrican), Monday, 10 April 2017 20:12 (seven years ago) link

don't they make children's music?

sarahell, Monday, 10 April 2017 21:10 (seven years ago) link

America's Most Wanted Painting
http://www.gwennseemel.com/images/blog09/KomarMelamidAmericaMost.jpg

France's Most Wanted Painting
http://www.gwennseemel.com/images/blog09/KomarMelamidFranceMost.jpg

China's Most Wanted Painting
http://www.gwennseemel.com/images/blog09/KomarMelamidChinaMost.jpg

Holland's Most Wanted Painting
http://www.gwennseemel.com/images/blog09/KomarMelamidHollandMost.jpg

I wonder if I'm too old to learn Dutch.

I think France's Most Unwanted Painting is my favorite of the lot:

http://www.gwennseemel.com/images/blog09/KomarMelamidFranceLeast.jpg

behavioral sink (Sanpaku), Monday, 10 April 2017 21:28 (seven years ago) link

I am giving myself a headache trying to muffle laughter omg

― nosotros niggamos (HI DERE), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:13 (eight years ago) Permalink

^^^ OMG this! How have I never heard this before today? Much of it sounds like my record collection (accordion, tuba, opera, Residents) thrown into a Cuisinart.

Dan Peterson, Monday, 10 April 2017 22:00 (seven years ago) link

France's most unwanted painting rules!

JRN, Monday, 10 April 2017 22:07 (seven years ago) link

That's my new national flag

The Jams Manager (1992, Brickster) (El Tomboto), Monday, 10 April 2017 23:11 (seven years ago) link

Closest in sensibilities to the Least Wanted Song is probably the Italian Least Wanted Painting

http://awp.diaart.org/km/ita/least.jpg

behavioral sink (Sanpaku), Monday, 10 April 2017 23:23 (seven years ago) link

Denmark's Least Wanted is awesome
http://awp.diaart.org/km/den/least.jpg

Screamin' Jay Gould (The Yellow Kid), Tuesday, 11 April 2017 01:44 (seven years ago) link

Inspired by this revival, I played the Most Unwanted Song on the radio this afternoon and totally made some six-year-old girl's day, her mom called me in awe.

sleeve, Tuesday, 11 April 2017 01:49 (seven years ago) link

Denmark really hates Custer's Revenge?

example (crüt), Tuesday, 11 April 2017 02:22 (seven years ago) link

I had the two songs on one CD, the third track was The Hoosiers' "Stop giving me verses" aka the least wanted song.

Mark G, Tuesday, 11 April 2017 02:41 (seven years ago) link

Delighted to see that so many other people agree with me that operatic soprano is the most annoying sound in music.

Punnet of the Grapes (Tom D.), Tuesday, 11 April 2017 07:33 (seven years ago) link

two years pass...

Still a jam in 2020.

romanesque architect (pomenitul), Saturday, 15 February 2020 17:51 (four years ago) link

if i ever get married, this song will be played at the wedding.

sarahell, Saturday, 15 February 2020 19:31 (four years ago) link

it occurs to me that SDSS14+13B (Zercon, A Flagpole Sitter) might just be scott walker's attempt at this concept

Kate (rushomancy), Saturday, 15 February 2020 19:37 (four years ago) link


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