second greatest Ark Music video/song/artist after Rebecca Black

I pity everyone involved

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fmwFNuKWLk

the video for this will be shot on April 3. this is gonna be intense!

isn't the guy in the Butterflies video one of the kids in the Rebecca Black video?

my jeans is the best of everything

Got my girl swag on

the sabrina video seems a bit too mature.

No more war!
No more hate!
Got my girl swag on
Got my girl swag on

Fuck yeah

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

listening to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE when i get off work

These sound like the made-up bands and songs from Rock Star Ate My Hamster or that Frank Sidebottom game. Voted Tyler Shamy without listening to any of them.

Is Tyler the only boy?

OH JESUS CJ FAM I JUST WATCHED IT OMG OMG OMG

Wish I hadn't voted for Mr Shamy now. He's a bit shit.

A lot of the live ones, their vocal talents are too buried in the mix.

Autotuned kids is the future imo

teach them well and let them lee-ee-eee-ad the way-eh-uh

I want to be who I am
And who I am is CJ FAM

A couple of these (Ariana Dvornik, Kaya) actually look and sound like real Z-grade pop songs...not much lols to be had and not much charm either.

in what kind of world could it possibly be anything other than https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oVnBGRIZSQ

OMG @ CJ fam's outfits!

ordinary pop star is by far the most listenable ARK song, and the video is by far the most o_O

ok, "girl swag on"

i can't even

lol @ the audience of 13-year-olds looking SO bored

Voted Madison btw.

Abby Victor -- because it begins on Saturdy Saturdy night

also, because the video makes it look like her crush is on another girl, and teenage lesbians are super adorable.

^^yes

the kenyauda lanai track is kinda bumpin, too bad about sound quality

love the bit in My Jeans where she turns away from the shop window and for a moment looks as if she's about to burst into The Sound of Music

jesus christ all of these songs are horrible

these dudes clearly wrote these lyrics in about 15 seconds

I think the most interesting thing about all of these is rapper Pato's appearances. In some cases, he's like the kid's alter ego.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cg5y9GsrB3A

I don't know why Ark removed this one from their channel. it contains one of Pato's finest moments, in which he stands in front of a green-screened colonoscopy video, flashes every gang sign he knows, and utters the immortal lines

come on Mr. DJ, won't you spin that track yo, spin that track yo
like "Smooth Criminal," and g's say, "Hush, are you ok? Hush, are you ok?"

....while shooting stars and airplane contrails crisscross in the foreground. amazing.

Pato's job must be really draining. I mean, every time he makes a video he has to revisit his old adolescent dreams and heartbreaks and neuroses just so he can come up with a few lines of poetry for the benefit of some teen girl he hardly knows. I feel for him.

omg Sabrina rhymes sometimes

it's like next-level for these guys

Wanna make me switch my lane
Wanna make me switch my game

so take it easy
let's take it easy
cuz I don't wanna rush this
I don't wanna rush this
no no

LEARN SOME MORE WORDS, AND THEN USE THEM

"Butterflies" sounds like a rejected Aly & AJ song

okay Abby Victor for the 3 seconds I watched her is smirkalicious

these guys don't believe in ballads

these guys don't believe teenagers are capable of sophisticated language use

well...

wow Pato is extra creepy in "Without Your Love"

Britt Rutter really got a raw deal with the Autotune. "tag me aw nuh summavree (summavree), yuh nah will be togetheeeeer." but I guess it's possible that she isn't capable of intelligible speech, and the engineers spent weeks processing her babbling into something semi-coherent.

her song is practically a ballad compared to most of the typical Ark fare. it's melodically subtler and more sophisticated than a lot of the other ones (in the verses, anyways. the chorus is pretty ass). I feel like it's a blatant ripoff of some other song, but I can't put my finger on it. 'Rescue Us' by My Favorite is the most similar one I can think of, but that's not quite it.

c'mon, when you were a teenager, history mayne, was your vocabulary that limited?

Ashley Rose is almost good...? Oh wait I got to the "tell me tell me tell me" bit, never mind

CJ Fam otoh is like a whole other level from everyone else, this girl is straight up hilarious

kept hoping CJ would bust into "the sun'll come out tomorrow"

Areiana Dvornik sounds like a budget Christina Milian

Can't wait until whoever the Irwin Chusid of 2035 is compiles all of these songs on some hipster-bait anthology

http://img860.imageshack.us/img860/1537/yfy.gif

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKaxiAoZc74

another video that Ark has seemingly disowned. I guess the grubby metal dudes and the drummer with "FREAK OUT!" painted on his bare chest were too racy for their own good. no Pato here, unfortunately.

can y'all start using another name for this guy

i mean, stop supporting trademark theft

I support calling him Fat Usher.

They took away "Girl Swag On" :(

Hey another one of those videos where they show people rocking but none of the instruments are actually in the song.

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li2ib7KVvc1qei4vno1_500.gif

lolled until i pooped

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrAq3giPqLw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vsh5aIIf-2E

for completism's sake:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKMYyrhooJk

(song is an Ark Music production; video is obviously homemade)

would really love to see a documentary on the parents who do this for their kids

it's far less atrocious than the beauty pageants but i still think it's somewhat psychotic

aw dang, how did I overlook this arkmusik agit-pop jam?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRitln7HCuM

it's cool that she wrote the song herself, but I don't know why she enlisted Ark's help instead of just recording the song at home on a boombox and shooting the video outside her house with a few friends and a cheap camcorder.

(ok, I know why: rich parents)

CJ FAM slowed-down sounds kinda like the knife or something

not sure why I wrote her name in all caps

oooo oooo are you doing that via youtube? is there a website that enables you to do so? been dying to find something like that for days

someone posted the vid just a few posts before this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpWfAiz1RC0

(yeah, I know it's old, but for completism's sake...)

If we're going by views:

Alana Lee Hamilton, "Butterflies": 8,071,283 views
Abby Victor, "Crush on You": 3,024,761 views
Britt Rutter, "Without Your Love": 2,827,302 views

And for the sake of comparison:
Jenna Rose, "My Jeans": 8,322,098 views

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UHAMwP2GNs

plot: a CGI globe appears out of nowhere and just hovers while a red navigation line traces its way from Cali to Spain to the Mariana Trench to the North Pole. meanwhile there's a blinding flash and a little boy appears out of nowhere and does a karate kid bow. then a stylized CGI beanstock sprouts from the globe, and a cropduster airplane flies over it, spreading shimmery confetti stuff in its path. then a red bird with brown wings (a finch? ilx ornithologists help me out here) flies over the plane. then...well that's just about it. there's no sign of Patrice "fast lane, switchin' lanes" Wilson in this video or the other one (below) she made with Ark. I guess her options financially were either 2 low-budget videos sans Pato or one big production with him in it. bad choice imho. this is barely even buzzworthy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX6YyIqvk1c

"Girl Swag On" out this week.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvvdgBipfHM

this is gonna be huge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40V49zlMbIw

shame on a Ark for taking down their historic launch party video

reposted here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSTZ2VIAg5I

Still waiting for "Girl Swag On" ;_;

"Girl Swag On" is the Chinese Democracy of Ark Music Factory videos. I, too, am eager to see a rich, nonthreatening tween stand up to the rich, nonthreatening tween thugs who are trying to bully her, but if we have to wait months or even years to see its release, it's because someone at Ark is making sure it will be perfect.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

http://dismagazine.com/disco/18692/tweengirl-famtasy/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ul8tSgJGhQ

oh fuck

finally!!!!

Obviously still an A+ song but I'm a bit let down by the production on this. I think CJ Fam has my #1 spot locked in the EOY poll now.

http://cdn.dismagazine.com/uploads/2011/06/CJ-and-Dad.jpg

Coming soon in August Pato Aka Fat Usher "H-A-P-P-Y"

This seems to have gone unnoticed:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UCdcW0RgII

long live rop

WE HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON ALL OF THIS!!! http://www.youtube.com/user/patomuzic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hi1_Hbn2jqw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRj9T_On9Js

GREAT BRITAIN REPRESENT!!!

TWEENCHRONIC

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OiCYNDNV9k

Tweenchronicity is the experience of two or more tweens that are apparently causally unrelated or unlikely to occur together by chance, yet are experienced as occurring together in a meaningful manner.

chronic = w33d, iirc

OMG MOUSTACHE DUDE

glad to see they've kept the cheering " bits from "It's Thanksgiving"

Geekygirl4everme 5 hours ago
Annoying and a really bad example on what kids should be doing. Skip rope but can you do it with out the representation of drugs and alcohol?

geekygirl4everme otm

can I just

SKIP ROPE
SKIP ROPE
EVERYBODY EVERYBODY DO THE SKIP ROPE

I hope that girl who poured Pixie Stix into her eyes got adequate medical attention

Was nice of them to set up the shooting around Patrice Wilson's day job, though.

MegaJudy7 20 hours ago

These girls are gunna end up on Maury

guilty lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWLhrHVySgA

Pppppht.

CJ Fam auditioned for X Factor and apparently made it through to bootcamp, but there's no footage of her audition, only this video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUuA2U-tHxU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2cQSPRTdhg

lol chill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVpu6MnXBhQ