chart gibberish

"Am I asleep? No, I'm alive."

http://www.directlyrics.com/jessie-j-wild-lyrics.html

What the hell? If she were asleep she'd be..... dead? I can't even figure out what she's trying to say at all.

Wasn't she the doughnut who said that breaking her leg made her understand how starving people felt? Or something like that anyway. Should go down a treat at Minehead Butlins Tennies Revival Weekend in 2043.

Anyone for tennies

Those tennies flew right off.

cf Wittgenstein's "Pop Lyrics: Are They Logical Propositions?"

and of course Bertrand Russell's seminal "Theory of Semantic Discourse in the Work of Ivor Novello"

The other day I belatedly realized the inane astronomical confusion that is Eric Clapton's "if I could change the world, I would be the sunlight in your universe."

"Hands on my heart, you keep the fire burning" what's wrong with Gaviscon?

"All my tears have been used up, on another love."

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tomodell/anotherlove.html

Like, I get what he's going for, basically "Heart of Stone" done as an abrasive whine rather than a juvenile mope, but.... tears don't get used up! You don't run out of tears. Anyway look while we're at it:

"I brought you daffodils in a pretty string, But they won't flower like they did last spring."

BECAUSE YOU PICKED THEM, YOU FUCKING IMBECILE

isn't that the point of that line?

I drank this Coke / A year ago / Therefore you / Can't drink any of it now

the act of giving the flowers as a gift kills their potential as living organisms

That is so true

oh and let's not forget -

"Concrete jungle WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OF"

tears don't get used up! You don't run out of tears

Isn't this a common enough expression? I've certainly heard it before and never thought it was meant literally.

I'd call Bryan Adams's "Heaven" an ESL classic but that would be unfair to non-native speakers:

Baby you're all that I want
When you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in heaven

xposts

Take my hand and reload
This is free love
That’s what we are made of
Yes we are, are, are

#3 in the midweeks, so it must mean something to someone, unlike something really meaningful, e.g. "All you need is love, love/Love is all you need/Love, love, love."

I tried carrying the weight of the world.... But I only have two hands

TWO. Not three. Have you ever met a three-handed person? Fuck outta here! Nobody has three hands!

Three would be more stable.

It would! I've learned my lesson now.

What if you had just one hand but it was really, really huge?

and you called it tracer?

I CAN'T MAKE MY HEART INTO A FACE, I CAN'T MAKE MY HANDS INTO A WORLD-HOLDER

My heart is like a stallion
They love it more when it's broken

"sipping from your cup til it runneth over"

trying to picture how this works exactly

" You're like a little piece of kerosene"

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/matchbox20/oursong.html

KEROSENE IS Q

KEROSENE IS Q

KEROSENE IS A LIQUID, ROB THOMAS, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT

(so angry I can't even post straight)

cucurucu

cucurucu

"If you feel like a room without a roof"

I can't say that I have ever felt this way. In any case, rooms don't have roofs (rooves?), they have CEILINGS.

"I'd like to complain about my hotel room"..

"IT HAS NO ROOF!"

http://d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net/image_cache/1384990993521902_animate.gif

"i'm weird because i hate goodbyes"

THAT'S NOT WEIRD. lots and lots of people hate goodbyes. FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

xp "Also, your brochure said 'flawless' accommodation..."

"every second is a highlight"

"if you tell me i'm wrong / i don't want to be right"

^^

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT

Does that not make sense in the context of the song?

ahh i see.. so he's like "what, am i wrong for trying to be awesome? am i wrong for being a little DIFFERENT? well sorry for blowing your tiny mind! if that's WRONG lady then CALL ME WRONGO WRONGOFFERSON"

Yes, that's the gist.

"but if you tell me i'm right, then i don't wanna be wrong / wait, hang on / i'm confusing myself"

"i travelled to australia / i travelled there by train"

"And yes, I know that I'll never acquiesce anything you're thinking"

- Catfish and the Bottlemen

blame Oasis for any UK band misusing that word

"I'd take back those words that'll hurt you"

"So i guess that's why they call it the blues"

Wait, WHAT's why? I just imagine Elton's surprised little face, it slowly dawning, 'AHH! It all makes sense! THAT'S why!!' but... what??? What's WHY THEY CALL IT THE MOTHERFUCKING BLUES, WHAT??

"I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is"

Most birds have a fair idea of where their home is at any given point, and some (particularly, say, homing pigeons) have an extraordinarily well-developed sense of where their home is, at a distance of hundreds of miles.

It's reasonable to speculate that most birds do not have a functioning knowledge of where their soul is, I suppose.

I wish I could scan that bit out of the Fist of Fun book where this Mr Logic dude dissects the words to "All Things Bright and Beautiful"

and you don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart
no scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful