your most important local news story the world must know about

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Police-launch-appeal-over-mystery-tea-pot-found-near-Cambridge-20140130114343.htm

Man in 'Haters Gonna Hate' cap wanted in bank robbery

Read more: http://www.baltimoresun.com/#ixzz2sJJ93Fdv

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/harford/forest-hill/ph-ag-jarrettsville-sledding-accident-0205-20140203,0,1486561.story

I thought the revive was gonna be for this one!

Search to resume for missing Ark. plane, pilot

ODEN, Ark. (AP) - Searchers will resume their look for a missing Arkansas Forestry Commission pilot and his airplane after wreckage from another crash on Rattlesnake Mountain in western Arkansas turned out to be from an accident many years ago.

Commission spokeswoman Adriane Barnes said Wednesday that searchers found the wreckage of a plane that crashed decades ago in Polk County - but that the plane had been previously found and its crash recorded. No remains were located with it.

Police: Ark. man shot after insulting gunman's mom

PINE BLUFF, Ark. (AP) - Police in Pine Bluff say a man was wounded in the leg by a gunman whose mother he insulted.

Authorities say 32-year-old Corey Henderson is wanted on first-degree battery charges for the Sunday shooting.

Investigators told the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette (http://is.gd/DRVRpy ) that the victim used a slur to indicate a woman he saw was a prostitute. Police allege Henderson heard the comment and became angry, saying that was his mother.

Police say Henderson drew a pistol and the victim apologized repeatedly, but Henderson fired several times, missing the victim. According to police, the victim then asked whether Henderson planned to actually shoot him, and Henderson allegedly shot him twice in the leg.

Police say the victim was treated at a hospital. Authorities are still looking for Henderson.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/t1/q71/s720x720/1901609_10152133947553819_1339356289_n.jpg

the air of 'local boy done good' around this headline is something

that conviction looks a little fucked up, just an unhinged attention seeker who said some stupid things but made no conclusive steps towards actually acting upon them

imagine the fuss they'd have made of him if he'd gone and done it tho

yeah but it's made clear in the smaller headline that he isn't doing it because he is a republican, or because he has been diagnosed with a severe mental illness, but because he is a muslim

http://www.capitalgazette.com/blogs/under_the_dome/annapolis-police-chief-cites-hoax-story-in-opposition-to-marijuana/article_97c304e5-b485-5981-9197-9b5f9f5f97e7.html

*dies*

http://moneypennydd.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/smiley-shocked015.gif

good kicker to the article

“The only person I’ve ever seen overdose on marijuana had a big snack and fell asleep,” said Sen. Nancy Jacobs, R-Harford.

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/woman-sues-pub-after-alleged-mishap-at-ann-summers-party-1.1707236

the most perfect short story imaginable tbh

cosine

I will have predicted yr approval down to the precise line taken as a dn obv

"I never did nothing to no curry" is just one of the choice lines in that story

LIDL moved premises by about 1/4 of a mile I think. It's now on the main road through the section of town (not the bypass which is about a field a way from it) instead of the back of an industrial estate.
& they had a sale where I picked up a bagless vacuum cleaner for €25 so I can do my room and not have to worry about getting bags that you can't get locally.
Thrilling huh?

& in the not so real world u-torrent seems to have disposed of the dialogue box that allows you to check torrents before you download them and set location for them. So my head is being done in.

this story will break your heart.

Pheasant 'terrorist' tormenting a Cambridgeshire farm

Police investigation after wood pushed through cat-flap

filched stick and catflap

that's a beautiful article

http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattle911/2014/04/02/mount-baker-man-frustrated-with-pot-he-gets-in-the-mail/

http://www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/Man-named-Mr-Bona-exposes-Llanelli-Asda/story-20837118-detail/story.html

"He wasn't going to win her back with that sort of behaviour."

http://imageshack.com/a/img855/3605/y5qg.jpg

Hectic news day in central Arkansas.

So much for a clean getaway.

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Man-locked-in-Cambridge-Papa-Johns-pizza-takeaway-after-hours-steals-frozen-pepperoni-and-leaves-through-fire-escape-20140426070951.htm

Jeff Lewis, mitigating, revealed his client was already in prison

lol

http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2014/04/29/closing-arguments-tuesday-in-little-falls-murder-trial/

not that funny, stress on important

could point to limits on 'castle doctrine' if it ever gets appealed?

http://djournal.com/news/dutschke-recants-guilty-plea-withdrawn-sentencing-hearing/

The guy who mailed ground-up castor beans to Barack Obama, Roger Wicker and a local judge (and then tried to frame an Elvis impersonator for it) has withdrawn his guilty plea.

Dutschke went on to talk about how he was a gardener and gardening was the only thing that could take his mind off of the allegations of fondling brought against him by some of his Taekwondo students in Lee County Circuit Court.

“Gardening is your distraction, it brings you closer to God,” he said, asking the judge to imagine herself in his loosely veiled metaphor. “You’re eager to clear your name and this provides distraction – each tiny sprout digging into the ground and stretching to the sun is like each of your students… There is no purpose more peaceful and nothing more sacred than that.”

In talking about gardening, Dutschke mentioned a castor fertilizer, which he claimed is a ricin protein made from the castor bean, but not ricin poison, saying, “You can’t have a victim of fertilizer.”

Dutschke said investigators found the ricin fertilizer, not ricin poison, and the charges against him are a part of a conspiracy between the FBI and U.S. Attorney’s Office.

To prove the contents of the letters weren’t poisonous, he said he would gladly eat them.

“Bring me the contents of the remaining two letters, I will dump the content onto a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and wash it down with a glass of chocolate milk,” he said. “We can solve this ridiculously absurd case here. If they are right, case closed, I’ll be dead and people can go on with their Kardashian-filled lives.”

Wait! You can't just quote that article without this bit:

He then issued demands, asking that his case be thrown out – saying it is the result of perjury – and asking for an investigation into the lies he accused the prosecutor and investigators of telling in open court, saying they played the judge like a “prom date bet.”

I bet that bit went over real well with that judge.

“You can’t have a victim of fertilizer.”

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/cb/Oklahomacitybombing-DF-ST-98-01356.jpg

Dude's just asking to get banhammered.

xp -- that was my first thought at that quote too

I spent half a day in that judge's courtroom (jury duty summons) -- pleasant but no-bullshit, and the basis for his request is 100% bullshit. I'd be surprised if she lets this ding dong withdraw his plea.

PORT pensioners have been thrown a lifeline by kind local people just days after the Tele revealed how thieves had ransacked their club.

Members of the Old Men’s Club were devastated after yobs broke into the premises in the town centre, stole a television and caused hundreds of pounds of damage.
But the Inverclyde community has rallied round, pledging help and donations.
Club president Edward Gilmartin, said: “We have been overwhelmed — it’s restored my faith in human nature.
“It’s amazing, everyone has been more than helpful, especially the Telegraph.
“As soon as the article went in the paper, the phone started ringing.”
The wrecking spree happened at the club some time between 4 and 5 May when louts smashed their way through a window.
They also damaged a fish tank, a door leading to a store room and wrecked the pool table. Mr Gilmartin revealed that a big-hearted tradesman replaced the smashed window and a local man donated a new fish tank.
The club has also received offers of a new television.
Sadly the two goldfish — who had survived a previous raid as well as the latest incident — have died.
Mr Gilmartin said: “The only two witnesses to the break-in have died.”

Another update on ricin dude: he's changed his mind again and accepted his 25-year sentence.

Teen dies in ATV accident
MONROE COUNTY, Miss. (WTVA) — A teenager is dead after a Sunday night accident involving his all-terrain vehicle.

Monroe County Coroner Alan Gurley has identified the teen as 16-year-old Clay Lee Thompson of Smithville.

According to the coroner, Thompson was riding his four-wheeler around 9 p.m. on Pearce Chapel Road when he lost control one mile west of the Alabama line.

The ATV went into the woods and down an embankment.

A teen riding with Thompson ran to a nearby home for help, and the Monroe County Sheriff's Department was called. Deputies found the wreckage and Thompson's body.

Gurley says Thompson died from a head injury.

Man dies in ATV/SUV collision

TIPPAH COUNTY, Miss. (WTVA) — An accident involving an all-terrain vehicle and a sport utility vehicle has killed a retired constable from Ripley.

The Mississippi Highway Patrol says 93-year-old Leroy Derrick was trying to cross Highway 4 near County Road 548 on his ATV Sunday around 2:40 p.m.

Trooper Ray Hall says Derrick drove into the path of the SUV.

Derrick died where the accident happened. The driver of the SUV was not hurt.

And it's not even deer season!

Man pushing shopping cart full of meat is arrested | The Today File | Seattle Times

was wondering what the big deal w/ william's car wreck stories was, then twigged that one died at 16, the other 93. cars - the great leveller :(

No, that wasn't my point at all. Both deaths were on ATVs (all-terrain vehicles), which are probably pretty uncommon in the UK but are ubiquitous neck-snappers that don't require licenses to operate around here. Often, kids of single-digit age zoom around on these things, and they're considered expensive toys, closer to go-karts than the dangerous vehicles they are.

oh wait, are they quad bikes? yeah they're pretty risky to hoon around in

Yeah, quad bikes is another name for them apparently.

Oh man. Don't me started on ATVs. I used to work at a hospital specifically for people with brain and/or spinal cord injuries. Do you know how many patients we had who had tumbled off an ATV? Like, all of them.

I have a nephew whose drunken ATVing resulted in his girlfriend's death; he's really, really lucky he just got five years of house arrest (still ongoing) instead of prison time. I really hate those things, and seeing stories about two ATV deaths on one day last weekend hit me kinda sideways.

Not local to me, but just getting back to the ATV thing.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2091429-former-olympic-swimmer-amy-van-dyken-rouen-severes-spine-in-atv-accident?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=editorial&hpt=hp_t2