my intergluteal cleft is bleeding: fistulas, hemorrhoids, other butt stuff

commonly known as the "butt crack" (US) or "bum crack" (UK)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intergluteal_cleft

I have no idea wtf is going on but it's just like spotting blood, possibly a result of sitting too much as my desk job or maybe a fistula as my GP theorized?!?! There is very mild pain but like a 1 on the pain scale, just enough to notice.

Anyway my doc told me that if it didn't stop in a few weeks I should get it looked at, so I am now awaiting an appointment, more exciting developments to follow!

TMI side note, for a while I was trying this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/jdoddo/butthole_sunning_feel_the_beneficial_power_of_the/

I’m very confused.

Surely the crack isn’t bleeding. Or is there a wound in it that is bleeding? A fistula would be pretty obvious. There would be an opening. Have you not um explored to find the source? I would have been spread eagle with a mirror between my cheeks the second I saw blood.

This could bleed but usually they’re extremely painful

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/pilonidal-cyst/symptoms-causes/syc-20376329

Am rewatching House. I want to get to the bottom of this!

Anyone who makes a joke about “bottom” is immediately flagged. Don’t.

lol tyvm

I have tried a mirror but it is extremely difficult to see anything!

and yes the blood seems to be coming from BOTH the sides (spottier) and a specific single point at the "intergluteal crack" (words I just learned today)

I nearly died (according to the doctor who scolded me for not going to them sooner) from a wider infection that started as a deep but smaller perianal abscess. If the pain increases and you get a fever, please see a doctor.

oh you bet, I already talked to a triage nurse today

sitting too much at the desk a strong contender for culprit imo

yep I switched chairs and it seemed to help but I think I need more drastic measures like

https://www.upliftdesk.com/content/img/product-tabs/kneeling-stool-product-tab-1.jpg

also I feel like this thread needs more butt-sunning content

Sunning light on your butthole is a viral joke that has some science behind it

it is really quite pleasant!

back in the 2010s sometime my ass, before 2016 for sure, my ass started bleeding

i was very concerned and went to the er

they did a test and they were just like, oh no worries you just got hemorrhoids, here's a mimeographed pamphlet telling you to stop getting fucked up the ass so much

i was like "thanks but i don't get fucked up the ass or have any interest in getting fucked up the ass?"

so anyway i started getting fucked up the ass and i'm more or less better now. mostly it's a dietary thing i think, i wasn't eating enough fiber, so i started eating a shit-ton of fiber and my ass quit bleeding. which worked ok except that lately i've gone gluten free on the off-chance it was gluten that was causing my explosive diarrhea. my shit doesn't have the bulk and doesn't come out as easily as it did when i ate shit-tons of fiber, but i haven't had any ass bleeding yet, even though i've also taken a break from getting fucked up the ass lately

they also had me take some stool samples, so i spent one morning a couple weeks ago spooning liquid shit into a couple of different vials. i double-bagged them and stored them at room temperature but i didn't get back to the lab immediately. my girlfriend moved them because she wanted to cook or something so i had to call her one morning and ask "sweetie, where's my shit", and then explain to her that i was looking for my literal feces.

anyway the thing is if it's bright red, it's probably closer to the surface, if it's dark red it's more likely to be occult and to be more of a problem. mine was bright red, it was hemorrhoids or something real close to the surface

basically the thing you should take away from all this is that if you post in "I love TMI", i _will_ crank the TMI to eleventy-billion.

and also that even though it's kind of scary when you start bleeding out of your butt-crack, in all likelihood you'll be just fine. and that you should either stop or start getting fucked up the ass, depending. is it "ass-fuck a cold, stop ass-fucking a fever", or is it "ass-fuck a fever, stop ass-fucking a cold"? i can never remember.

oh and to be clear i'm not taking a break from getting fucked up the ass for dietary reasons, i'm just too depressed. on top of that there's a chronic top shortage around here. which, speaking as a switch, i get, because all anybody wants me to do is fucking top all the time, i'm kind of on strike from topping until i get a chance to bottom every once in a while

lololol ty Kate

the blood has been very bright red since it started, hence my relative slowness in actually getting a followup appointment. also it comes and goes, I think it's healed up and then I forget and rub some TP there and it starts again.

I like anal play and think it can be beneficial health-wise but holy shit when the GP stuck his finger up there to check (with no foreplay or lubrication, what a boor), it hurt like a mofo, something is up

the blood has been very bright red since it started, hence my relative slowness in actually getting a followup appointment. also it comes and goes, I think it's healed up and then I forget and rub some TP there and it starts again.

I like anal play and think it can be beneficial health-wise but holy shit when the GP stuck his finger up there to check (with no foreplay or lubrication, what a boor), it hurt like a mofo, something is up

― out-of-print LaserDisc edition (sleeve)

yeah the thing is it's like an abrasion, right? and when you're pushing shit past it or rubbing toilet paper or whatever up there it's likely to bust it open again. prep h does help with the healing, i think, or if not at least it soothes. i mean go to see a doctor for sure but i wouldn't be surprised if it turns out to be hemorrhoids.

also for real with, like, clinical contexts i don't want foreplay, it would make the vibe all weird, but for god's sake why wouldn't you use lube, hell, i even use lube when i boof my prog (oh and _please_ feel free to ask me about "boofing" because i _will_ tell you at length about it) just because, you know, why not? i keep it around. a lot of people say it's just fine with water and i'm sure it is but a little dab of lube makes the medicine, wait, that's not how that song goes, is it?

i was, actually, when you talk to psych people they ask various polite versions of the "so, what's keeping you alive?" question, and my go-to answers are "harm reduction" and "spite", but i will say, one of the things i really enjoy is that i get older it becomes increasingly common to just start talking at length about one's personal medical experiences. and god i don't always look forward to a lot of things but i _really_ look forward to being an old lady in a nursing home and just constantly telling anybody within earshot about my vulvoplasty. that's kind of outside normal social boundaries for me right now.

was joking re: foreplay but some lube woulda been nice!

intergluteal cleft
eyeing little girls with bad intent

EMERGENCY EYEWASH STATION

song titled 'fistula' obviously

I have experienced bleeding similar to what Kate described for a while, the things that have helped the most are getting lots of fiber (I take fiber pills) and hemorrhoid suppositories if things get particularly bad.

appointment tomorrow afternoon, all signs point to a very small fistula

I missed this when you first posted it and I have no fun 'fucked in the ass' stories to share, but I will say those chairs with the kneepads are surprisingly comfortable to use (no idea if they're actually good for you or if it was just a weird fad).

every time I pass blood I think well this it then, I'm completely fucked now - need to change my ways. Then a few weeks later I completely forget about it and carry on. It's so rough living in an aging body sometimes. Anything like dizzy spells, shitting blood, migraines - I start thinking I'm about about to die when it happens these days.

But as the primary carer for one young adult autist who needs constant 1 to 1 to keep him on his baseline and one middle aged adult with dementia and MS = I'm not allowed to be ill or to die, so I think I'll be ok!

GP theorizes fistula, appointment with surgery specialist is in the active referral stage and I will bump it tomorrow, started 10 days of antibiotics today

Hoping that all this treatment is effective and all the bleeding can cease!

glad that's "all" it is, sleeve.

so yeah it is two "very small" fistulas that are probably connected below the skin. no cause/prevention at all, totally random thing.

I have day surgery scheduled in 9 days, the doctor gave me this fancy prescription-strength Desitin type ointment in the meantime.

he wanted to do the surgery and I quote "flay it out" (aieee) or it would "continue to fester" (AIEEEE), but said the ointment might take care of it before my appointment?

in conclusion, (shrug emoji)

dude was a totally old school doctor and my old school nurse wife was like "fester", yeah there's an old school doctor term

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/11/Jackie_Coogan_as_Uncle_Fester_%28The_Addams_Family%2C_1966%29.jpg

yikes, this post-op guide for rectal surgery looks a little more intense than I was anticipating.

going under the knife tomorrow afternoon at 3 PM.

best of luck, sleeve.

thx dude

pretty sure "rectal surgery" is one of the least wanted two-word combos, lol

"no, that's the name of my death metal side project"

hope it goes well sleeve. i've been living with a complex perianal fistula since i was 17 so i feel your pain. luckily it sounds like your doctor knows what's what, and "very small" sounds like good news. stay strong friend!

TYVM <3

Good luck, sleeve - that seems like a tough thing to go through.

I have known at least 2 male friends who’ve had surgery due to badly infected ingrown hairs in the butt crack.

[more aqualung lyrics deleted]

sleeve I am in a similar boat right now but hoping it won't require surgery (sitting in vans on long drives for 25 years, who might have guessed), have been having lifetime top tier pain experiences all week and now I'm home and I'm gonna have to go direct to urgent care tomorrow with my fingers crossed, I send you strength

days went by when you and i
bathed in eternal summer's glow
as far away and distant
our asscrack cleft did grow

oh the sweet refrain
aloe vera calms the pain
oh ilx remains
sleeping now to rise again

OH THE MIGHTY ARMS OF RAGGETT HOLD THE HEAVENS FROM THE BOARD

all the best sleeve and joan crawford and anyone else in need of it ❤️

surgery went well, I am home now with surprisingly minimal pain

hoping for a speedy and full recovery, sleeve.

glad to hear it went well!

Excellent news, sleeve!

kick ass! (not literally)

it did actually feel like somebody had kicked me in the ass! like, that kind of pain, not sharp.

jeez you guys!

great to hear it went smoothly sleeve.

joan crawf please give us an update on your ass when you get a chance.

kate i do want to know about "boofing" please spill.

"so anyway i started getting fucked up the ass and i'm more or less better now" new board description obv

so yeah, thanks Tracer -- and congrats sleeve! update is, there was so much wrong w/my keister, I did a 4 hour train ride on the heels of a plane ride, and the seat on the train sucked I could tell the second I sat down it was gonna be trouble but I didn't know it was the level-up seat, and I guess alll this was the perfect storm to aggravate already-present internal problems and complicate them with giant weeping welts on my inner cheeks, for lack of a less poetic way of putting it. my condition got super bad on day 2 of a 6 day out-of-town-on-biz jaunt, and as soon as it got bad...I had to fly coast to coast early a.m. that really kicked everything into overdrive, resulting in a west coast hotel room pain peak, really incredible. I'm fortunate in that I can get a doctor to come to me if need be so I did, and got stuff that helped a little, but he's a GP and could really only help in the very emergent sense. once home, I got straight to urgent care & got antibiotics & lotions & powders & a consult number for probable surgery. doctors don't really grasp that when I say "I have to schedule all this around work because work doesn't wait and there are people depending on me," I really mean it, but I'm home long enough now that if I can get a consult booked tomorrow & then under the scalpel quick enough I might be able to pull it off and hit the road month after next in better shape. probably still using the donut pillow wherever I go either way but yeesh. feeling about 80% now with the help of the antibiotics, I'm no longer crying out in pain from the bathroom and my cowboy walk is barely noticeable.

omg my dude

I am basically fine now, stiff and sore back there but have accomplished the post-op pee and poo milestones, also only took two oxycodones on the day of surgery and then tylenol/ibuprofen which I consider a victory

so sorry to hear of yr experience, and yes when I flew east in June I immediately put my neck pillow under my butt, it saved my ass (literally)

jeez JCLC, get better soon please!

sleeve, glad you’re doing well. did you actually get a diagnosis? pilonidal cyst?

it was an anal fistula, ty for asking!

I am on lifting-weight limits for 2 weeks and then a followup

Raise Your Skinny Fistulae Like Antennas to Heaven

JCLC hoping you start to get some relief soon. nothing's worse than feeling pain during the one activity (sitting) that nobody can avoid.

just to update y'all, because the situation was both an infection & my usually "it's fucked up back there" problems, I'm feeling MUCH better -- the general inflammation that had basically expanded to the buttocks & perineum is being treated by antibiotics & responding well, and I'm trying to book surgery for the rest, although my schedule doesn't really allow me to accept extended periods of bedrest so we'll see.

support on this thread meant a fuckin lot over the past few days, btw, thanks v much to y'all!

fuck that sounds to have been miserable and good to hear its easing

glad things have improved. is there a diagnosis for this madness yet?

fissure & 'roids that I've had forever, aggravated by extended sedentary time on trains & planes, added cellulitis, that was what really mangled the whole area

ow ow ow

much empathy, JCLC. sounds punishing

to the thread topic, I swear I’d mentioned this here before, but nearly 15 years ago (!!) I had a peri-anal abscess. I notice a weird swelling that isn’t painful, go to the walk-in clinic the next day, they give me antibiotics and set up a consult for Monday

I go into the surgeon’s office. I presume he’s a lower digestive doc, but I think of him as the ass doctor. He is very curt but professional, says we need to drain it, and explains it’s probably a clogged anal gland (am I a dog? I have these things?! wtf!) and before I have time to really consider what’s going on, I’m sideways on one of those reclining medical chairs, he’s injected a numbing agent into my rear area (stabbing my area!!) and then moments later is using a scalpel. It feels like a mild tugging but he’s also pushing, and unexpectedly it’s some terrible viral content (man has how much fluid in this swollen area? let’s find out!).

it’s a bad scene. I’m mildly traumatized, and he gives me a 50/50 it heals up on its own, but I later realize this is optimistic. I go about my life, it heals over, doesn’t heal over, etc.
no blood, but it’s a “channel” and is just kind of… moist? on the surface. I only realize it’s not healed while on vacation. There’s also other life drama going on, which is tangential, but I am finally coming to terms with the fact I need to call the office while I’m on vacation

so long story short I had surgery and they made me… a bigger asshole!

sorry. it was close enough to the orifice they just lay it open and let it heal that way. everything goes fine, I make one call to the office while healing to make sure I didn’t tear out stitches (there were none) and apparently I had some minor other business in the area (healed fissure, maybe hemorrhoids) that he just cleaned up because sure, why not

I feel for people with crohns because this is ongoing nonsense to deal with. I was lucky, everything is normal, and I am only a huge asshole in the social way and not physically

"Wonder what a chair thinks about all day . . . well, here comes another asshole."

(sleeve) is a 57-year-old white male who is done well from his
posterior anal fistulotomy and hemorrhoidectomy. The seropurulent
drainage that plagued him prior to the surgery and perianal pain has
resolved completely. Physical examination today reveals complete
healing of his posterior fistulotomy wound. At this point time I will see
the patient back on a as needed basis.

that's what she said

congrats sleeve!

lol mookie,

Congrats on as needed bum!

My bum is also on an “as needed” basis currently fwiw

congrats on the good news, sleeve.

Great news!

this seems to be returning, doubt I can get a doc appt before January but I need to get another checkup

Oh no :(

I need to be taking more sitz baths, that's the thing that really seems to help, but they are somewhat time-consuming (20+ minutes)

Sorry to hear this, sleeve. Hope you can get checked out soon.

sleeve this sucks, hope it can be healed properly ASAP xx

Those medicos have to get to the bottom of this.

Ugh, ENBB made that joke eons ago.

lol it's OK, plenty more where that came from!

Sitz baths can be really annoying (esp if you have back problems too like me) but they're really important if you're experiencing inflammation. A shower can also work in a pinch if your shower allows for the right angle, though sitz baths are better IME. Hope you're able to get an appointment soon!

getting an adjustable standing desk has helped a lot for me, for both my fistula and my back

yeah I think I need to do something about my work/chair/desk situation, I love my current desk but a different chair might help

Standing desks are great.

This morning I got to observe a fistula repair, a hemorrhoidectomy, and the beginning of a bowel resection done by a robot. It was AWESOME.

Those poor patients though. The surgeon told me in the US the hemorrhoidectomy guy would have been sent home with Vicodin whereas here they only give Tylenol. The thing that gets me with surgery is how brutal and rough it is at times. Also - the patient screamed under anaesthesia. Well, yelped. Didn't expect that.

wow!!

I am still trying to heal mine up completely and taking lots of sitz baths, but it's probably time to get the doc to take another look

Yeah one of the surgeons was saying that the healing time is pretty long for a lot of these surgeries. Things I was surprised to find out - butt surgery is done in stirrups! It makes sense but I didn't know that. Also didn't know they make butt speculums but lo and behold.

lol, that is all excellent info, thx

I've been waiting for an update on this.