not getting invited to things

this is where I childishly reveal that I always get butthurt when I'm not invited to things. this year it's exacerbated because I am one of maybe 5 people in a 'group' of expats who have all known/worked with each other for almost two years now, and they all manage to do things without me all the time! end rant.

hate when this happens to me but prob my own fault for turning down too many invites.

yeah this bugs me but i am a huge flake so i dont blame ppl for not bothering to call me

really i just want the opportunity to turn people down

^^all three posts are u&k and describe me too. I also should shoulder a lot of the blame cause I rarely, rarely call people up just to ask "hey what's goin on, what are you doin tonight" (partly for fear of them doing something really lame and then getting roped into doing it)

hahahah i totally avoid that for the same reason

you have to be a special kinda someone to call people up, ask what they're doing and then say "nah, I think i'd rather just stay in."

i do this occasionally.

"hey what are you doing tonight?"

"well we're all going to get together and watch this bootleg dvd of epic movie that (x) bought in china"

"... I need to water my plants"

*click*

it's funny because one of my good friends who i would definitely call in this way (because he's usually going out) really values honesty and doesn't get offended about that kind of thing but i still can't bring myself to do it.

gchat/aim is perfect for the 'what are you up to tonight' conversation

facebook is a dick about this.

I think the friends I usually call and ask "What's happening tonight?" are the ones that generally wouldn't be doing things I find boring, and if they are they know me well enough to know I won't like whatever it is they're doing that night. I find texts are even better than gchat/aim, ime.

yeah the text is a classic what-are-you-doing gambit

it's funny because one of my good friends who i would definitely call in this way (because he's usually going out) really values honesty and doesn't get offended about that kind of thing but i still can't bring myself to do it.

People ask me all the time what I'm doing (or used to, when I still went out), and my answer was almost always "Something music/show/'60s dance-related" and a whole bunch of my friends have no interest in that stuff so they'd just be like, "OK, I'm going to this art opening/media party with So-and-So" which is fine. If they came to my thing I'd have to babysit them or at least make sure they met people and had fun, so I'm just as happy for every one to line up their options and then do what they really want!

oh i have the opposite problem, four of my best friends who all live together and i call LIKE 90% are lazy stoners and bad at budgeting so i always end up calling them reminding them of some event

gah-

oh i have the opposite problem, four of my best friends who all live together and i call like 90% of the time before going out are lazy stoners and bad at budgeting so i always end up calling them reminding them of some event they had promised me they'd go to, and it's always either "dude i just smoked a joint and put a dvd into the machine" or "i have no money/buspass" ITS SO FRUSTRATING

The last three things I have been invited to:

Office Christmas party. All eight employees sitting around the table in the break room passing around irritating little puzzles to compete for a $25 gift certificate to Zappos. There were healthy vegetarian snacks and a small bowl of green and red M&Ms and no alcohol.

Six-year-old cousin's birthday visit to the Philadelphia zoo.

[long gap]

Tagged along when my roommate's fellow comp sci grad students and department head threw a party for the fourth of July 2008. The one girl present used the professor's little "isn't America awesome" speech as an opportunity to rail against The Socialism. Good times.

a lot of the time i wish people wouldn't invite me to things, i often suffer from acceptor's remorse.

i'm naturally the type that says "if he/they wanna chill, he/they will get in touch" but i've been forced to be more assertive when i go home cuz all my friends p much go to the same college & they sort of forget about me (also they were all friends before i started kicking it w them in high school)

in college i never had this prob, esp when i just ended up moving in with all of my friends. in general tho i get p butthurt about this & then end up just realizing that i'm generally a flaky loner

saying "well, you're not on facebook" is pretty much standard operating practice when my friends dick me over

man i never have made plans on facebook! always text/AIM

i would probably make more plans if i used aim/gchat but shit's too hectic for me

you guys need to learn to experience any invitation to anything as crushing, fear-inducing pressure so that when you don't get invited to something you get to feel like "whew, dodged a bullet there"

despite my introvertedness I get invited to do stuff frequently. it's likely because I'm a nice guy and because I don't usually turn down invites unless i got invited to do something else first.

when I don't get invited to something, it depends...if it was an exclusive type thing, then I don't care, but if it's something like where everyone was invited and not me, it burns my ass. but then again that hasn't happened in like....years.

i make all via snail mail and let me tell you, shit gets confusing

uh, that would be "i make all my plans via." you know, i make all my posts via typing and let me tell you, shit gets confusing

you guys need to learn to experience any invitation to anything as crushing, fear-inducing pressure so that when you don't get invited to something you get to feel like "whew, dodged a bullet there"

Yes, exactly. I don't get invited to shit, but this is the exact reason why I haven't been able to make it out to a show/exhibit/movie in over six months.

uh-oh, just been stung.

"what are you up to at the weekend? i'm free on sat"
"am off to [people who i could not give one shit about]'s cocktail do - you're coming aren't you?"

Fucking Facebook news feed. I've been getting wall-to-wall notices from one friend to many others about helping out on a film contest project. Guess who hasn't gotten one yet?

idk y but getting invited to shit and then deciding to chill @ home, read a book, watch a movie is rad and relaxing. but having nothing to do - even if u dont really want to go out - totally sucks.

― ₪_₪ (Lamp), Wednesday, July 22, 2009 10:44 PM (9 months ago) Bookmark

lamp of july 2009 otm

it happens a lot in the winter that me and my girlfriend have dinner and get ready to go out to some party but end up just staying home, and 100% of the time at some point before the end of the night we acknowledge how much more fun we had.

http://www.emovieposter.com/images/LAMPSponsor09-01.JPG

lamp what thread is that from -- i remember posting in it

If I don't get invited to things it's usually because I've said no in the past so many times that ppl have given up. When it comes down to it I'm sorta a homebody, I guess. Am going to a "girls weekend" (puke) on Saturday that should be fun and I'm sure will be but am kind of dreading it because the ppl there are all really close and I only know a handful of them well. It'll probably be a lot of fun but sometimes being "on" is a lot of hard work for me and I'd rather just be at home by myself.

this has happened 4 my wife a lot since she was part of a cohort grad program with 10 or 11 ppl. most of them were like str8 outta undergrad and were immature rich kids with shit for branes. but she met her bff there, too, who was like her and learn-ed and they would go do stuff together w/o them and be like fuckk all y'all.

i'm the king of not getting invited 2 stuff esp since most of my friends don't live here anymore :(

http://wondermark.com/c/2010-04-30-618alone.gif