MORMONS

abbbbotttt?

Do they own you? Were you baptised? Ar you now part of their elephant graveyard, where elders stop by your place intermittently to pick up your bones and trumpet at you? Do you just have pesky missionaries? Are you dating a Mormon? I have all your answers!

do you think that "mormpwnd" has any chance of becoming an internet sensation?

Unfortunately, not so much.

There were lots of Mormon math grads when I was in grad school. Some more observant than others. One friend of mine quit the church, and another good dude said that he was still "faithful" but he wasn't 100% sure about everything the church teaches. That experience helped me to realize that Mormons aren't cultist robots, but just normal humans.

This isn't to say that the Mormon religion isn't a totally bizarre religion, but all the others are pretty weird in themselves too.

I used to tease them about the rumor (???) that Mormons have to get married naked.

they're called temple garments

The Emperor's New Garments.

They're polyester onesies for the men and a long, white polyester Little House on the Prarie-style dress for the ladies. Temple clothes, not garments, which are 'magic undies' lolz yeah whatevs. IF you are getting married in the temple, of course you come in clothed! Sillypants.

Dude varietal:

https://www.dressedinwhite.com/diw_image/men.jpg

Women's dresses

UNDER which are 'garments' and then after they're all wedded, which involved kneeling for an unfeasibly long time in a mirrored room while a dude talks at you, then reception time where a guy usually wears normal clothes and a woman wears a fancier wedding dress that doesn't show any shoulder (a little freer than, as you can see, the women's temple dresses, which would be worn to any temple visit & not just a marriage).

This is a slip. A slip for under your dress:

http://whiteelegance.com/catalog/images/1031-cap-sleeve-slip-s.jpg

mirrored room? i thought that was for the honeymoon

http://www.ldsapparel.com/Jessica400.jpg http://www.ldsapparel.com/Angela400.jpg http://www.ldsapparel.com/Breelynn500.jpg

This is how everyone will be dressed in HEAVEN. Srsly! They'll all be wearing temple clothes!

i would have sex with all of this whit girls

in heaven!

IN HEAVEN...EVERYTHING IS FINE

http://stores.crowningjewelapparel.com/catalog/newestbethanylg.jpg

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bethcanphoto/2232168456/

i didn't know nancy pelosi was LDS

http://dallas.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/08/27/missionary_calendar_3.jpg

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d126/chardy76/ChalkboardAs.jpg

$35 ain't bad for a wedding dress!

I wonder if gabbneb thinks those temple clothes for the women are too risque.

thaking fokfs for tis!!!!!!!!!!!!! thxxkaq!!!!!!!!!

MORANS

hey i have a question!

i am reading under the banner of heaven right now and i am not done yet but woah. i mean, i realize that the people discussed in this book are extremists, but one of the extremists discussed was the founder of mormonism! how do mormons feel about krakauer and the book? also, do normal (by which i mean not fundamentalist) mormons think smith was wrong about the polygamy deal? do they think he was wrong about anything else?

I wanna know, too.

abbbbotttt?

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― strgn, Wednesday, June 25, 2008 2:07 AM Bookmark

There's this Mormon dude dating a cousin of mine, and he'd obviously be a crazy party dude if he wasn't Mormon. Actually I think he already is, he just binge drinks water.

Answer for tehresa:

Under the Banner of Heaven is fucking awesome, it is. And it's kind of known, by Mormons who know it, as one of those untouchable books that you should never read.

As for mod-ren Mormons and polygamy: technically, if Joseph Smith or another Mormon prophet "revealed" something, it was true and the real word of God and a commandment, and always will be. So the story is, polygamy eventually ended in Salt Lake City (after Smith was dead no less) because it was "revealed" that the world wasn't yet ready for it – ie the majority of the populous was too base and unspiritual to understand it. (Same reasoning applied to the ending of J. Smith's weird earlier experiment in communism.)

That means the commandment of polygamy will eventually be reinstated on earth, according to Mormon doctrine. For example, I was told in seminary that after the apocalypse/armageddon, six in seven of the men will have died fighting against evil. You have to be married in the temple to get to the ultimate level of Heaven, so polygamy will have to be reinstated so every woman can get married in the temple. Seven girls for every boy!

Total Abbott-bait (I hope): Two posts from a great professor I took in college discussing Mormon + Orthodox Jewry associations.

http://kavvanah.wordpress.com/2011/03/15/orthodox-big-love-for-mormons/
http://kavvanah.wordpress.com/2011/04/27/mormons-and-orthodox-judaism-part-ii/

The second one is an interview with Mark Paredes (the Mormon author of the column “Jews and Mormons")

!!!