MANNY RAMIREZ: BEST PLAYER

c

500

great hr/lol montage on sportscenter tonight

I got a partial translation of the comic in the original post, courtesy of my Korean mom:

Manny Ramirez square:
Manny is saying "Hey" and "Yo" to everyone and they are responding in kind.

Curt Shilling:

Randy and Clemens are (something, possibly "gone"), Pedro has no energy left, heh heh, the American League is mine this season!
(Santana looks bemused in the background)

The Ortiz as Shrek square:

Ortiz: Heh heh
Mills: This is so ridiculous, I'm having a fart.

The Derek Lowe section:

Lowe: (Sarcastically) Run like hell. They're not my legs.

She had trouble with the Keith Foulke and Pedro Martinez ones. Foulke's had something to do with being a "slow closer" and how was he going to explain that to people, with Wakefield saying "Forget about it, it's not your problem."

MLB officials were asking Pedro where he's from, and my mom didn't understand his answer.

Excellent. Valuable new Mom.

My mom cracks up a lot when she's trying to translate Hoon Choi. She found it hilarious that he spelled out "field" phonetically so it looked like "pilt."

Our moms should unionize. Seriously, I'd pay $5 for a 1-year subscription to translate those.

ya i asked some of my chong friends to help me out with these a while back

[15:41] me: what's manny saying in that first panel
[15:48] dianne: yae :(
[15:48] me: yae?
[15:49] dianne: white guy is gou=ing EH, EH
[15:49] me: so basically it doesnt make sense in korean either
[15:50] dianne: he's getting the white guy to copy what he'sa sying but the white guy isn't doing it exactly like he is?
[15:50] me: oh
[15:50] dianne: i think he's trying to say YEAH U HOT
[15:50] dianne: :(
[15:51] me: lmbo
[15:51] me: ok what's curt schilling saying
[15:51] dianne: int he first panel?
[15:51] dianne: oh
[15:51] dianne: it saays
[15:51] dianne: uhhh
[15:51] dianne: randy,
[15:53] dianne: randy, clements(?) are all gone, right?!! and pedro lost his strength...heh heh...this season i will eat [not literally eat] AL!
[15:53] dianne: black guy in back going "..."
[15:53] me: oh lol

and then

http://imgnews.naver.com/image/223/2007/05/02/1178088448.jpg

[16:41] some other broad: haha so any panel in particular or are ou curious about what the whole thing's saying?
[16:41] me: the whole thing
[16:43] some other broad: alright, skipping the title panel and oging straight to panel 1: Isn't staying the best harder than becoming the best?
death looking guy: (it's written in Korean, but it's actually in english) "Welcome to the Hell!~!!"
baseball player guy: huh?
[16:47] some other broad: panel 2: You don't have to look further than Dwight Gooden for an example. Being top all school was piece of cake, but after going to highschool you can just see from his friends from middle school who dropped perpendicularly (that makes no sense to me but I know nothing about dwight gooden)
[16:47] some other broad: guy with glasses: It's your fault we're dropping
guy in red jacket: Haha, hey friend!!
[16:48] some other broad: panel 3: When looking at the situation from that point of view, chipper jones is the best of the best. Since high school he's kept the same position for 20 years
[16:48] some other broad: baseball cap guy 1: Where's chipper?
[16:48] some other broad: baseball cap guy 2: He's always there
[16:49] some other broad: Panel 4: Chipper comes from the phrase, "Chip off old block," and he got that nickname because he's just like his father.
[16:51] some other broad: guy supposed to be chipper: Man good thing I wasn't born in Korea, or I would've been called "bbong uh bbang Jones" (boong uh bbang is "fish cake" it's a snack thing shaped like gold fish, but they make it with a mold so each cake comes out the same shape so in korea if you're just like your dad or mom ou're not a chip off the old block they say you're a fish cake.)
[16:51] some other broad: guy in read jacket: If you were born in Korea, you wouldn't be "Jones"
[16:52] some other broad: Panel 5: It's a weird way of putting it, but Jones is one of the few superstars to come out first pick in the first round...
[16:52] some other broad: guy in cleveland jersey: hey if you're first pick in the first round, doesn't that make you automatically a superstar?
[16:52] some other broad: abseball cap guy: It's different from your neighborhood
[16:53] some other broad: panel 6: Jones is a three in one balance of sense, technique, and power, so he always brings a standard grade of performance
[16:53] some other broad: jones dude: I'm confident when it comes to sense, technique and power
[16:53] some other broad: girl: "oh wow!" (under her breath) just the things I like...
[16:54] some other broad: panel 7: Even the past three years when he was wrestling with an injurty, he was able to show a continuous level of performance
[16:54] some other broad: jones guy: Even with my hamstrings ripped to shreds, 20 homeruns are no problem at all!
[16:55] some other broad: coach: you think you're Jack Bauer?
[16:56] some other broad: panel 8: Also, along with Berkman, he's the current greatest switch hitter; and whether from the left or right, he comes up with a consistent performance
[16:57] some other broad: jones guy: hey right hand, you're one really scary guy...and you are too left hand!
[16:57] some other broad: guy in baseball cap: You're the one talking to your bats, you're scarier...
[16:57] some other broad: panel 9: On top of that, Jones is a recognized crutch [NOTE from cankles: lollll] hitter, and is also well-known as a team leader
[16:58] some other broad: Jones guy: Alright! Let's go!!
[17:00] some other broad: other team members: Older brother~ (Korean style way of talking to someone older, but I think they're also pointing out that he's respected...ok the following's hard for me to translate because it uses military slang...a lot of Korean guys do that because they go to the army, but instead of explain all the intricacies of that I'm just going to give a general translation:) can't I just fall behind?
[17:02] me: is service mandatory in SK?
[17:02] some other broad: yea, two years
[17:02] me: kk
[17:02] some other broad: Panel 10: Any team he goes to, without trouble at all, he's the super elite
[17:03] some other broad: guy in suit: Well....money is a bit of a problem...money
[17:03] some other broad: jones guy: Why? I even come with a lowered yearly salary!
[17:04] some other broad: panel 11: However, this is all just on the outside, to be able to maintain that top spot, only he knows how much hard work was necessary
[17:04] some other broad: I think it's jones' dad: Don't just swing with your hands...
[17:05] some other broad: Jones guy: humph! (I don't know, just general noise for when you're really trying hard type of thing)

OMG RORRING ON THE FROOR RAFFING

"Welcome to the Hell!~!!"
"crutch"

<3 cankres

superb!!

manny ramirez does his best shawn chacon impersonation...

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Water-is-wet-Manny-Ramirez-involved-in-clubhous?urn=mlb,91013

http://bostondirtdogs.boston.com/BDD_MR_lost_7.9.08_bgjd.jpg

I WAS JUST COMING HERE TO POST THAT.

fucking manny taking a call during a pitching change!

...and he's back

http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/extras/extra_bases/mannydrink.jpg

anyone who hates on manny hates on fun.

Or is a Yankee fan.

there's a difference?

http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/video/videopage?videoId=3484016&categoryId=2521705&n8pe6c=3

And Good Manny appears to be back: 1.400 OPS over the last week. He's so fucking streaky.

Wow, the curly-haired boyfriend is fucking PISSED.

just don't let him become Best Phillie

Phillips thinks it should be a Manny-for-Burrell straight-up deal.

Dunno why the Phillies would want to do that, especially if the trade hinges on Manny being released from the 2 team options left on his contract.

I'm just glad (relatively speaking) that the latest Manny kerfuffle is about his knee, and not about that stupid flushing-washcloths bullshit.

As for Daniel's little temper tantrum, I think he's just excited to have something negative to write about Sox-wise, after all the terrible success the team's realized over the past 4 years.

Sixtyish officemate's half-hour rant first thing this morning about how, in a just world, Manny would be "a bum in Scollay Square," self-derailed by angry sidebar about Bill Lee throwing the eephus = the absolute highlight of my first year at this job.

Part of me kinda hopes the Sox dump him and sign Bonds, just to see Shaughnessy evolve into a Thunderdome-style warlord leading a militia comprised entirely of pissed-off dudes of a certain age who remember how much better baseball was when they had the reserve clause.

How can someone be angry about Bill Lee throwing the eephus? Old folks be cranky and head-fucked!

I'm thinking this iteration of MannyGate is actually some sort of smokescreen to make people forget Lugo's under contract for another 2+ years and $18 million.

How can someone be angry about Bill Lee throwing the eephus?

because tony perez hit one onto lansdowne st in game 6 of the '75 world series?

also, shaughnessy is the worst type of columnist, the failed jock who has nothing but disdain for the athletes he covers. for christ's sake, he was the guy who was continually slagging on larry bird during his mvp years.

I guess the eephus rage means folks are still holding a grudge against Wakefield for 2003?

there's a difference between getting your best pitch slugged out of the park and getting a gimmick pitch that you toyed with slugged out of the park.

DaveR otm about relative outrage vs Lugo. I still think the Sox should pick up his option. Not my money, I know.

How To Fix The Manny Problem:

1) Persuade Globe to persuade Cincy paper to take on CHB and other Around The Horny fucksticks
1a) Eradicate all sports / Gawker Media blogs
2) Upgrade Fenway plumbing to allow for occasional facetowel disposal
3) Accept his well-established eccentricities / shortcomings
3a) realize there wouldn't be 2 World Series banners in Boston without his contributions
4) Give Manny $$$ for his 20-30 HRs, 80-100 BBs, and .280-.300 average
5) STFU and enjoy

is CHB on around the horny these days??

can someone explain to me Manny's beef with Boston mgmt?

ASK MANNY

Best guess is that Manny's pissed about not knowing what he's going to be doing next year. Probably catching a lot of will they/won't they static about his option years and Manny seems to do better with stability than no stability. I think he's rightly figured out that his options aren't getting picked up and he's trying to get out one way or another. I don't even know what to think anymore except why couldn't we have had a nice peaceful final year, given him the "it's been a good run" speech, and had an offseason mourning period?

6) Shut down WEEI.

That'd probably be 0.5), actually.

Randy Johnson recently reintroduced his eephus.

That's what she said ... ?

Yeah, I think the other things besides the contract with Manny are that he feels mgmt doesn't take him at his word re: minor injuries (rightly or wrongly), that his rep for dogging it precedes him no matter what he actually does, and that the Sox PR guys basically let him twist in the wind whenever his well-established eccentricities/shortcomings come to light.

I'm not saying he should get a pass for spin-kicking traveling secretaries, but honestly he kinda has a point about everything else.

Also non-local types should always keep an eye on bostonsportsmedia.com whenever Red Sox shit goes DEFCON 2; there's an entire galaxy of sub-CHB hacks at the Lawrence Eagle-Tribune and Lynn Daily Item, &c. who basically just drop everything to see who can yell "HURRR BROWN PEOPLE" the loudest whenever it gets juicy.

Free of its racist intent, I'd love to run around yelling "HURRR BROWN PEOPLE," just because. Or maybe I want to just yell "HURRR" a whole lot.

See if wickedlocal.com needs a stringer, maybe?

FUCKING DID IT
I KNOW YOU DID IT
HURRR

(work in progress)

The anti-Manny obsession always has a undercurrent of playa-hatin Puritanism running through it.

govern yourself accordingly, you are my poster of the month

FUCKING DID IT
I KNOW YOU DID IT
HURRR

OT: apparently one of those kids is taking classes at the college where I work. If I could touch the hem of his garment.

posting the above @ 4:20 = perfect synergy

I'd never read the traveling sec'y story til today.