Worst Ann Nocenti Asides/Monologues/Dialogue

Daredevil #244:
"Matt's DEAD and I KILLED him. How could it be? One moment his glove is FILLED... filled with his living, loving... FIST.."

"Their voodoo cannot breathe in the modern world... their voodoo is NOTHING against HOT LEAD BULLETS!!"
KBLAM KBLAM KBLAM

"Heh heh. Nothing like a dark night, a whistlin' wind and the howl of a dog to bring us all back to our childhood fears! Look at you guys! Still afraid of the bogeyman! Does your mommy still tuck you in at night, too? HAHA! Huh? What was that?"

Daredevil #249:

- Vanna Herald?
= Yeah?
- I've heard of your work.
= So?
- You were recommended to me.
= VANISH, beefcake. This little girl doesn't talk to strangers.
- Funny. I'd guess to you, they're ALL strangers.
= Hah. Good point. Cute. You know, I just quit that art institute. Everyone there moves too slow for me. Nobody left there than can TEACH me anything. I KNOW them all.
- Can I see your drawings?
= They'll blow your mind.
- Wow. Huh. Yeah. Prescient, like I'm seeing the future. DOES blow everything out of my mind. I LIKE that. Now I'm gonna blow YOUR brains out.
= Hey cool it stranger!
- Come on. I want to show you something. You'll like it.
= I must be nuts... I feel like you're either my savior or my executioner.
- We'll see won't we?
= Don't we need HELMETS?
- Sure do. If we wreck, we're DEAD. So what.
= You ride this thing like you're tryin' to tame a wild horse!
- You mind?
= I'm still in the saddle , aren't I cowboy?
- Yeah, and here come the cattle herding along to their jobs and back, every blasted day of their lives. Lets' BRAND a few cows.

kill all the yuppies!!

I think I lived a perfectly happy life before discovering who the hell Bushwacker was

Man, now I'm really sad that all of my Nocenti Daredevils are in storage hundreds of miles away. Her style was pretty batshit. My (probably wholly inaccurate) impression of her is that of someone with little more than a passing familiarity with English as it's ever been spoken, coupled with a thousand dollar a week coke habit. But her run on DD was largely entertaining.

Daredevil #238:

"That smell.. the dog is eating moldy cake... coffee grinds... GARBAGE. This is the WILDLIFE of the city. The jungle animals. We've poured so much concrete and steel onto the ISLAND of Manhattan it sometimes doesn't even feel like the PLANET EARTH anymore. Nothing left of nature's more benevolent side. And the beasts that dwell here eat GARBAGE."

"BUTCH! You rotten... I'll KILL YOU you stinkin' pizza-faced tadpole! Bugger Brained Rothead!"

"That's it. Go on. You think you'll have an advantage down in the pipes, not enough room for me to use my fancy skills. He went for it! Many of those tunnels are pitch black. But you can't blind a blindman. This gives me the edge I need!"

Haha, I remember thinking her Daredevils were really, like, deep when I was fifteen or whatever.

i've only read the Typhoid Mary trade, but as far as cheesy pulp goes I've read a lot worse! (and i've read even worse Daredevil comics)

His "glove FILLED... filled with his living, loving... FIST" is pretty unbeatable.

bump to fix bookmarks.

tbf i'm not POSITIVE this is nocenti, but really who else could it be?
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8ie37mgxIXA/TPLelWPlzUI/AAAAAAAAHIE/Kc6AicJRmz8/s400/DD+FATSUIT.jpg

=)

I approve of this. Neal Adams should steal it for Batman: Odyssey.

ALSO: Not Nocenti - Jim Owsley (aka Christopher Priest), apparently.

Omg I love Priest so much

not the same Christopher Priest that wrote the Prestige is it?

No - every country has it's own Christopher Priest, even Antarctica, and they're all writers.

This one's American - wrote an excellent run on Black Panther that really needs to be collected in its entirety.

the British sci-fi writer Christopher Priest is not the African-American comics editor and writer Jim Owsley, who changed his professional name to Priest

xpost, lol

Bump, in case I remember what I was about to say.

http://www.manwithoutfear.com/daredevil-interviews/Nocenti
I guess she really thinks in this dialogue?

As for the phrase "american dream," I meant it ironically, and it has to do with my love/hate relationship with living in this liberating/oppressive, humanitarian/imperialistic, sweet/rotten apple pie country.

As for where Typhoid came from, you'll have to ask the shrink I've as yet never gone to. I think I wanted to shatter the female stereotypes--virgin, whore, bitch, ditz, feminist, girl scout, all-suffering mother, et al.--into tiny fragments and yet keep all the pieces in the same little female bundle. I guess there's a bit of Typhoid in me, which I imagine always keeps my boyfriends happy in a maddening sort of way.

and get this:

I also remember once I wrote a New Mutants story about media conglomerates, and the higher powers at Marvel got wind of it before it went to press and cut the print run (uncomfortable with the fact that they were the very thing I was critiquing). So the story was suppressed and not seen by many, but I did get a wonderful letter from Noam Chomsky, the great writer and guru of media analysis, so I was thrilled.

what is the female stereotype of the girl scout exactly? cookie pusher?

omg that new mutants special suuuuucks

Moopert Rurdock is clearly a parody of global media mogul Rupert Murdoch, the CEO of News Corporation, the parent company of 20th Century Fox, the studio that produced all three X-Men films as well as 2009’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

The “Rent-a-President” in this issue is clearly a representation of then-U.S. President George H.W. Bush.

This issue was published in the summer of 1990, after only the first season of Twin Peaks had aired. For those worried about possible spoilers, rest assured – Rahne’s prediction do not spoil the rest of the series.

This issue is dedicated to Ben Bagdikian, Noam Chomsky, Marshall McLuhan, Mark Hertsgaard, Walter Lippmann, and all the other media theorists in the world.

excerpted from this inexplicably 7,200-word synopsis.

Moopert Rurdock!

“Intervention is usually wrong. But then, so is leaving the world to its own miserable devices. It’s like eating meat. Some say, ‘meat is murder’. Ethics depends on how you look at it. From a cow’s point of view, meat is murder. From a hot dog man’s P.O.V., meat is life. From the hot dog’s P.O.V., meat is existence itself!”

Wow, I didn't know someone was novelizing New Mutants issues on the web

I really need to revive that X-Men blog project, if there is a market for 7,000 word recaps of single issues, then surely 5,000-word sarcastic pseudo-intellectual analysis of six-month chunks will be a dot-com cash cow!

I think there are different uses of the word "market" here

shush mh; Dr. Casino you TOTALLY need to revive the X-Men blog project

yeah get on it

(says the guy who doesn't even like the X-Men really)

I also demand Dr. Casino work on this blog, though

I read Nocenti's whole Daredevil run about 12 years ago when I had a roommate with a big 80s marvels collection. I legit totally loved it, would buy a phone book reissue in a hot second. I like a big crazy mess.

haha thanks y'all. it still might happen! we've talked about it! school is starting to heat up though, i dunno.

Buuuut....my blogging partner did this piece ages ago: http://www.comicsalliance.com/2010/03/04/ann-nocenti-daredevil/ ...after doing his own marathon read of Nocenti Daredevil, give that a look-see in the meantime!

Yeah I loved Noncenti's DD as well. She may write a lot of wank, but she displayed a real skill for pacing in that run.

oh she's not a bad plotter; it's the dialogue and interior monologues that throw me for a loop

I read it when I was maybe fifteen, so would have had a much higher tolerance for that kind of thing. The age where you think lots of adjectives equals depth.

"Yeah I loved Noncenti's DD as well. She may write a lot of wank, but she displayed a real skill for pacing in that run."

It also doesn't hurt that you got John Romita Jr. inked by Al Williamson (!!!!) on the artwork during most of her time as writer on the book.

We need a Chris Claremont thread along these lines

here is where we list CCCs (Chris Claremont Cliches) could use some more elaboration perhaps...

"I was born of a star-spangled union, Tommy. My family was ONE NATION UNDER GOD. I'm a grade-A inspected piece of all-American meat. You understand? Keep that pointed at me. Be ready to shoot."

"Oh, I DIE for a man in a UNIFORM... even the postman... and those guys with the TOOLBELTS...! Oooh, they just give me goose-bumps all over! I used to wish you'd come home all decorated and a big hero... but you never did. These clippings of your exploits? I heard you went into some secret service... Oh, dear no -- It's about that whacko NUKE that killed all those people here in Hell's Kitchen a few months back. Say! I think he blew up a helicopter that crashed on your MOM'S building! Your poor mum -- you didn't visit her much... Hey -- what's the matter?"