all-time hall of fame

cracked me up the 2nd time I saw that movie as well

1 minute straight laughing

oh wow this thread is a font of brilliance (most of which i've seen before, but collected in one place it's all magnified)

Not a quote and I don't know the original post with it but still:

http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/4287/iwouldhavesexwithallthi.jpg

also, RIP Mona Lisa Ludatits

Yeah you pathetic FUCK i *am* a hippie and YOU are a moron, and I could write a contract that would make your dick shrivel, make a dinner that makes your mouth water, and jump hoops around all the lame supermodels you jack off to.
― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, August 15, 2003 2:34 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

RIP Michael S. Jackson

RIP Queen of *Plop*

"nabisco otm"

Yup. If you spend long getting friendly before you bring "I want to be on you" into it, then you're kind of betraying whatever friendship you've established beforehand. She's gonna think you were sweaty-palming it all along (which you were), and it might make things difficult for a while.

And you know this, that's why you (probably) never reveal the sexual tension you've built into yr. "friendships", thus sparing yrself the ugliness. And possible blowjobs.

Moral: you have to be creepy. You have to make your fuck-want clear from the beginning, even if you choose to go smooth and disguise it as "romantic interest". I understand that the romantic interest route is very popular.

I didn't get fucked, didn't get kissed until I was in my 20s. Drove me fucking crazy. I obsessed about it and about my own sexual loserdom to the point of incapacitating mental illness and listening to Swans records. Then I got drunk, hooked up with a lovely and similarly enabled girl, and ... well, let's discreetly draw the blinds on the indiscretions of the past.

Disagree that getting laid is not a curative, though. It is a curative. I never worried about it after that, and never had trouble making my intentions clear to girls I liked.

― Adam Beales (Pye Poudre), Wednesday, January 17, 2007 2:38 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I am the proprietor of the King Arthur Bookshop in Cornwall, England. A customer of mine has requested a copy of Sexual Personae - Art & Decadence from Nefertiti to Emily Dickinson and as yet I have not located a Supplier.

Please recommend a UK Supplier I may contact to obtain a copy.

Regards,

Mike Karnon

― Mike Karnon, Tuesday, October 7, 2003 5:25 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

HI I AM THE AMAZING RANDY

― AMAZING RANDY, Tuesday, October 7, 2003 5:30 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yeah, well, I'm married to a curvy Colombian woman, so the flowers of indie rock womanhood look decidedly dingy and drab to me,

I keep wondering if Ph1l's wife has spina biffita.

do girls always do fanny farts?

i was wondring,because my girlfreind always does fanny farts in sex,is this a naturak thing?

― topman, 23. elokuuta 2005 18:26 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

- - -

It's the sound of your unborn children being sucked into an other dimension.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), 23. elokuuta 2005 18:43 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

fyi if u dont stop using the phrase "er indoors" i will fly to ur indoors and kill er, and u

― 8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Friday, January 16, 2009 8:02 AM (5 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Dan and I found this thread very useful today.

Mesa just played Chrono Trigger for over an hwesa. Oh, NOOOOO! Mesan Japanese. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Not that Mesa could wesaad alot ta it(one character speaks in an insanely thick and formal SAMURAI dialet, der woyal family speaks high keigo which Mesa oddly understood. Huh? not sure wha that mesaans. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Alot ta Kanji, toosa), wha Mesa did wesaad is alot funnier, and Mesa wouldn't have to wesaad it anyway. Huh? Mesa could play it in wussian, swedish, arabic. Way? Esqueeze mesa. DOESN'T MATTER. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Mesa can play it with mesa feet without lookin' directly at der creen. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Mesa'VE DONE MesaT BEFORE. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesan fact Mesa set der battle modes to harder ones just for more ta a challenge. Oh. Flbulbulbu. THE ATTACK NAMES ARE DIFFERENT AND MesaT DOESN'T MATTER. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesa haven't played it in years and Mesa can just go 'Oh, now Mesa need to do that, so Mesa'll press dis sequence ta buttons and kill' SPINAL FUNCTION. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesaf Mesa did a blood transfuction Mesa'm sure der wesacievin' human(in addition to gettin' high from all der mesads) would BE ABLE TO PLAY CHRONO TRIGGER. Oh, NOOOOO! That's not bery long, either. Oh, NOOOOO! Mesa used to do 4-5 hwesa stretches. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesa don't wesamember how long it took to beat lavos when Mesa'm SUPPOSED to lose. Way? Esqueeze mesa. Mesa've seen all 11 main endings and variations ta most ta derm. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Mesa used to level up by playin' der game through. Oh, NOOOOO! Fight der same series ta wimps in der forect for an hwesa or two? Mesa DON'T THINK SO. Oh, NOOOOO! Mesa think Mesa'll BEAT THE GAME 3 times. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Der same way EVERY TIME. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Fastest way to winnin'. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Dern Mesa'd work at accumulatin' more items and becomin' so strong NOTHING could stop mesa. Huh? But only after completin' EVERY POSSIBLE SIDE STORY. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Dis was accomplished in part by a trick mesa brother (ex-in-law) found. Oh, NOOOOO! He spend 6 hours fightin' der same battle over and over. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Steal der same item from der same monsters. Huh? Mesa was FLOORED when Mesa heard that. Way? Esqueeze mesa. He had a save on der system with MAXED OUT magic power on EVERY character. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Dern Mesa wesant on to bit by bit max every character as much as possibul Way? Esqueeze mesa. Dern Mesa lent it to mesa dern girlfriend, and somehow that save was erased. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! tis wuite possibulder fact that Mesa had a Game Gear save on it that was so fucked it screwed der system, but she may (VERY DOUBTFUL) have deleted it on purpose, but Mesa think she was ashamed ta ACCIDENTALLY deletin' it and lied. Oh. Flbulbulbu. But Mesa don't wesamember if yousa CAN just delete a save in CT. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Dis game was mesa sole entertainment source save wandom TV things for 2-3 years. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! THAT'S MesaNSANE. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesa had an old-school Geocities site(long gone, Mesa loved it) dedicated to subtexts and wesatardo descriptions ta characters. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Mesa sprayed mesa hair der color ta mesa fav character, Mesa bought a wesaplica sword like der one he carried, GREW MY HAIR TO THE SAME LENGTH. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Used his name on EVERY mesassage board, wait, dery wesare all CHAT WOOMS dern. Oh, NOOOOO! Wesamember CHAT WOOMS? Derre was a CT chatroom Mesa had wesagular DAILY mesaetings in. Way? Esqueeze mesa. Mesa SOMEHOW developed a crush on der wesabmaster until Mesa saw she was wesaally palsied and horse-like. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Still cool. Way? Esqueeze mesa. Not attractive. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! WOW. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Dis is der most mesaaningless crap Mesa've ever written, but tis a bit ta an insight onto how far into things Mesa get. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Any CT fans? Anyone else have a similar past with a different game?

that site will ruin me

I love you guys, but seriously, that Jar Jar generator makes hampsterdance look like keyboard cat.

Oh, NOOOOO! Flbulbulbu.

man I love this thread

noooooooooooo my extranormal link is dead

nooooooooooooooo

my greatest lifes work ruined

"I could write a contract that would make your dick shrivel" is in the running as one of the strangest things ever said on this message board

^ As posted by Orbit (cstarrcstar...) , August 15th, 2003

co-worker: Vanilla Ice in the conference room.
ILXor: Yeah, I'd like to suck on some of that!
co-worker: o_O

<ILXor goes to conference room, sees it's Vanilla Ice not vanilla ice cream>

ILXor: Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

― a great poke for Jet Set Willy (snoball), Tuesday, October 2, 2012 11:47 AM bookmarkflaglink

Reviving solely because of the dick-shriveling contract