LAID BACK GAUZE THE OLD TILE WAS GATTING ON SCHOOL DAZE AND MOLLIFIED FOLEY CATHETERS NOW OPTIMIZED WITH PREMIUM CONTENT FOR USERS BITTEN IN THE EYE BY PIPE BOMBS (PS: BOOTY POPS IS STR8 HO HO HO)

mom placation was ironing by which mens perrypops in a womansuit is the new child mystericating teats that can taint baconated digestive broads plastercasting gnostically from the great gospel wwjh

Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (6969 of them)

hyuk hyuk.

new year, new bert

lol, given the last pic posted

now your great work shall be eternal. you fucker.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

title needs more worthless crap in it

there's a start

the end of another era

work in progress

xoxo lil buddy, xoxo

minor (but crucial) edit

HEY LOOK A REMY AWES!

good of you to take time out of yr busy bonin' schedule to say hi

hey did i tell you guys about the old guy who wanted me to introduce him to one of our mannequins so he could ask her out on a date

Happy New Year, remy!!!

xp WAHT?! lol

no but there is no better time than the present! xpost

2009: The Year Of Tappin' Mannequins

will miss u, mystericating teats

ok (i told this story to lingbert and on ilx AIM chatz cuz it was so weird):

so i'm at work, busy with a sort-of pretty customer and i see old dude lingering at the counter. he's pretty normal-looking: beard, clean, tidy, shirt and pants. i ask the standard how-can-i-help and he drops his voice, leans towards me and says
"this is very embarrassing but i was wondering if you'd mind introducing me that beautiful young lady"
to which i respond something like oh no i couldn't possibly do that, i'd get in trouble, why don't you wait till she leaves the store and introduce yrself.

at this point i am thinking he's talking about the woman i was just talking to, who is now is the dressing room. but over the next couple of mins of conversation i ascertain that he is in fact referring to the 2D, wooden mannequin behind me.

"she is just SO beautiful and elegant, and i love that outfit she's wearing, she has such beautiful eyes!"

note: she's just a piece of wood shaped into a lady, with NO facial features, not even painted on.

"i have tickets to the pacific film archive and i'm wondering if she'd go with me"

at this point i'm pretty o_O but not sure if he's pulling my leg or just crazy/delusional/extremely myopic. so i decide the best course of action is to just play along and tell him oh HER, no i'm sorry she has to stay here all the time - that's her job, to stay here 24hrs a day she's never allowed to leave. sorry!

he makes *sad face* and THEN his gf/wife comes over to ask his opinion on some clothes and they get a little smoochy. fwiw, she seems perfectly normal too. she walks off and then he tells me, twice, how she looks so ravishing in those clothes he can barely BARELY keep his hands off her (while staring directly into my eyes).

then he asks me about nz and we have a nice conversation about bookstores.

the end.

I can't fucking wait to get old enough to be able to pull shit like this in public and not have people call the police

it's such a weird situation because you kind of don't know what to do, i mean he wasn't threatening or anything so i can't justifiably ask him to leave the store because 'uh i feel uncomfortable', but then crazy ppl are so unpredictable.

i have another story about another guy and his 6'9" amazonian kickboxing champion of the world girlfriend who died during a fight.

you are clearly working in the most interesting place in America

yeah no shit

oh the other story happened at my job back in nz.

but yeah, i work between two stores and for some reason the berkeley store gets a LOT of crazies.

Wow. fwiw, it sounds like you handled it really well!

Somehow I am not surprised that you get a lot of crazies in a store in Berkeley.

Speaking of "busy bonin' schedule", don't forget to ask Sara about Dick Cheney and Mike Huckabee

ps so glad I live outside of the strangling radius

sara is it true that you are bonin' dick cheney and mike huckabee

BY REQUEST

cuz srsly dude thats gross

Given the choice, I'll take Huckabee, but still NO.

For one thing, where would I find the time...?

For another EW EW EW EW EW Dick Cheney, NO NO NO NO NO.

now the truth comes out

sara is it true that you are bonin' dick cheney and mike huckabee

― R. L. Stinebeck (John Justen), Thursday, January 8, 2009 3:40 PM

I'll take Huckabee

― Sara R-C, Thursday, January 8, 2009 3:45 PM

You know my long-time affinity for Republican men.

alright people i just want to announce that cheney is still up for grabs

no pushing, theres enough dick for everyone

http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2008/news/080218/mike_huckabee.jpg

Srsly sometimes I kind of miss the retail insanity bc I am in the middle of pseudo intellectual insanity that makes me want to gouge my eyes out from all the self-important bs. I would take some lovely mannequin talk about now!

yeah tbh i don't miss the academic stuff in the slightest, altho retail + books would be a superior alternative

i would like to be working retail instead of owning retail at the moment.

i dunno it's pretty shit having to answer to a boss who even after more than 25yrs oftentimes does not seem to know what the fuck she is doing. i mean srsly: 25yrs of practice, you should have it nailed down by now, xmas does come EVERY YEAR.

I am so far into academic b.s.-ing in terms of writing papers that it is just sad. Not sure how most of this is going to help with actual nursing practice.

Missing my job as a secretary at a college, also missing selling books. :( (Then again, I had one completely insane boss at B&N, so yeah, I feel your pain, just1n3.)

except that one year it didn'=-=== oh wait i'm not supposed to talk about that.
xpost

this weekend i will finally make basement into rekkerd playing/bro downing/rehersal space/mancave that it was intended to be.

then i pick up the pool table and GAME SET MATCH

not kidding really do have a pool table waiting for me

next investment will be kegolater

lucky. fucking. BITCH.

YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I hope you die

John gets my vote for the King of Mixed Messages tonight. Jeez.

Meanwhile I am sooooooo tired of my Friday night routine, just had to complain to the Universe (that's you, ITR denizens). And now, back to it.

Ah FB. Back from drunk furryness, then.

Tuesday afternoon, not that much more exciting than Friday night.

Anyone have experience with pre-owned luxury cars they want to impart? Specifically Audi, BMW, Infiniti or Mercedes?

I think my Dad's first BMW might have been pre-owned (is that what we say now instead of "used?"). He loved it and has been a BMW driver ever since, but now I am pretty sure he buys new.

^^^ posting that makes me really wonder why I don't just go into the liquor business instead of trying to find a nursing job in this crappy market, srsly

I have a 1993 Cutlass Ciera.

Pre-owned 1999 VW Passat here. I love it, except when the air conditioning gives up on me and I have to get it fixed (knock wood that it doesn't happen this year somehow).

I hate insomnia, srsly.

Ice Man, you own a pre-owned 1993 Cutlass Sierra. It sounds classier that way.

It has maroon racing stripes.

sweet

I will sell it to you for less than $5,000

it is a car with a history of greatness

lol, that will go over well

"hey honey, you know how you wanted a big swanky luxury car? well SURPRISE!"

perhaps historic significance tbh

dan you should buy a dodge neon with running lights and the biggest spoiler you can find

Three generations of wrappers under the seats.

better yet, I should by a Dodge Neon and put running lights and the biggest spoiler I can find on it myself on the weekends

preferably with various 3M epoxies

dan buy a pt cruiser and move to mn where we can spend our free time drinking beer and pimping it

also we will work on your car sometimes

You should get a bus can of silver paint and be all LET US DISCOVER AMERICA AND THROUGH HER OURSELVES

there was a brief window of time where I was seriously considering getting a PT Cruiser

I wanted to modify it so that it didn't have front seats

you should get a CUBE MOBILE DEVICE

okay that is a step too far

http://www.seriouswheels.com/pics-1990-1999/1993-Plymouth-Prowler-Concept-takeout.jpg

Somebody I know was enthusiastic about these PT Cruisers when they came out

WHAT CAR SHOULD HI DERE BUY

HELPING U

We had a PT Cruiser rental care for a day for some reason. There was no driving speed that it ever felt good at. Not a fan.

But I'm super-boring, so...

btw, had a nice morning subbing at a local elementary school as the school nurse. Very hard to get used to calling myself "Mrs. R.C." I've never used "Mrs." before at all, so it feels RIDICULOUS.

try calling yourself "Mrs. TaB" next time

Mrs. Saccharine-Pop

or Saccharine-Soda? So hard to choose.

call yourself Captain R-C, see if that helps

If you're in a foul mood, you could also be Nurse Arsey.

oh suzy, you really shouldn't have written that around John, FB and me because now we all will refer to Sara as "Nurse Arsey" until she hunts us all down and strangles us with her arsey hands

hmmmmmm

And yet, strangely, leaves suzy unharmed.

See, Nurse Arsey is now certified able to wield a hypo, but I am 4000 miles from it.

It's true; I can drive to get these other guys. suzy is quite safe where she is (at least for NOW)

my dog will protect me

i will now start a hard regimen of making "ARSEY!" his attack command

I have seen him take down a full grown woman.

Dude, I am not afraid of your dog. He's adorable. And I'm sure he'll understand my need to stick needles into you, as long as I don't stick needles into him.

He's that kind of a dog.

you guys, my little cousin is married now

she is TWENTY-THREE

Obviously too young to get married!

(*ahem, unless you are me, I guess...)