Rolling 2013 Moustache Thread

Stealing blatently from rolling rap threads and picking the latest soon-to-be-forgotten wrestling meme for the yearly title.

http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/ep_trending/public/article/thumb/2012/12/20121211_EP_Light_Cody_Mustache_HOME.jpg

Ryback v. CM Punk on Monday night in a TLC match for the title.

20th anniversary of Raw the week after, with the return of the Rock and some other old dudes I guess. Most prob gonna have a contract signing for CM Punk v. The Rock for the title at Royal Rumble.

And then the Royal Rumble is also soon! January actually looks p fun.

2012 - I didn't watch most of it, so I loved it! 3 hour Raws are supposed to be hell but I just catch Rhode Scholars, Hell No, Punk/Heyman and Ziggler matches and promos. I miss Mark Henry and no amount of Ryblack is gonna make up for Three 6 Mafia not being on my telly.

Best Wrestler: YA BOI D-BRY

Best New Guy: Sandow is so much fun.

Best fued: Punk v. Bryan v. Kane over AJ

Worst Fucking Piece Of Shit: Cena. Fuck. The guy has turned so many heated storylines to fucking mulch so quickly. Johnny Ace hasn't been seen since, AJ is garbage now after being the hottest woman in wrestling since like 2002, The Rock match SUUUUCKED, the Big Show stuff SUUUUCKED. He's had three awesome matches this year and his supposed backstage bullshittery stopped the Lesnar match being a PERFECT ***** match.

Whats the Point Award: Orton? Sheamus? Del Rio? Miz? Ryder? Wade Barrett? Tensai? Sting? Joe? Aces and 8s? Ring of Honor? Eh.

Most Improved: Michael Cole? Kofi? Jay Lethal? No-one has really made the jump. Oh, Ziggler!

Best Indie: Chikara!

Best Moment of the Year: Kane & Dragon hugging it out obv. Or maybe Danielson, Punk and the Rock in a promo together.

Best Match of the Year:

10. Sheamus v. Big Show at Hell In a Cell http://youtu.be/yrFRyNTtwFk

9. Davey Richards v. Michael Elgin at Showdown In The Sun http://tinyurl.com/aw7col9

8. CM Punk v. John Cena at Raw 1000 http://youtu.be/4FXNRYsIArk

7. Austin Aries v. Jeff Hardy at Bound For Glory http://youtu.be/tJw6J6PYY1U

6. Team Hell No & Ryback v. The Shield TLC at TLC http://youtu.be/K3vDkHEOjo8

5. Sheamus v. Daniel Bryan at Extreme Rules http://youtu.be/BYa2Ojs5VtM

4. Daniel Bryan v. CM Punk at Over The Limit http://youtu.be/60HvRQVgnno

3. Bobby Roode v. James Storm at Bound For Glory http://youtu.be/JZpH6_mR2so

2. Dean Ambrose v. William Regal at the last FCW taping http://youtu.be/1b-q0cAkboc

1. John Cena v. Brock Lesnar at Extreme Rules https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1j9wjHbXys

2013:

If we get to see Ambrose v. 1 or 2 of Rollins, Regal, Punk, Bryan or Ziggler I think he can make a v. strong name for himself quickly.

Signing Lesnar to a more productive contract is KEY. Can you imagine Ziggler becoming champion as a Shawn Michaels face and then having to be thrown around by Brock at SummerSlam?

Tag team division is going well but reunite the Kings of Wrestling after Cesaro's shit title reign ends and finally hire the Briscos and it will be the best it has been since 99.

Word is El Generico and Sami Callahan will be hired any day now. This is news to get excited over btw. More importantly WWE needs to purge. This list is ridiculous and gross http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_WWE_personnel - wtf how do The Great Khali, Camacho and Alex Riley still have jobs?

Please bring back Mark Henry already.

Wrestlemania will be shit when it could be the best thing ever. Triple H - Lesnar II? WHHHYYYYYY?

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TNA still sucks. Same thing - if they ever get rid of the boring old shits who bore everyone and just left the rest to do their thing is would be fine. And their main event scene has some good dudes in it! Storm, Roode, Aries, Hardy, one of Bully Ray/Angle, maybe King Mo - thats a good set of dudes to build around!

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Not watched ROH in months. Chikara, Evolve and PWG are putting on good shows but who has the time to watch them all. CZW Cage of Death was supposed to be dope but eh CZW. Still, it'll be more of the same, with a couple less guys to rally around (Brodie Lee left for WWE, Callihan, Bennett and Generico are almost certainly going and rumour is Cabana, Briscos, Lethal, Shelton and Steen will go too).

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afaik Mexico and Japan are still in a bit of a slump, although NJPW have started to bounce back with some new guys recently. Oh and Inoki has done a Cat Stevens and changed his name and become a muslim, because maybe he'd been slipping on the craziness.

the rock in 2013 is kinda dull imo.

Been struggling to motivate myself to catch any of this these days tbh. Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania are still annual watches just because, but the last PPV outside of those 2 that I watched start to finish must have been Money In The Bank 2011 which was admittedly so good that I wasn't even remotely ashamed of myself for staying up to watch it. Notwithstanding that event and the whole Punk storyline surrounding it, however, I've not been able to take a sustained interest in the show since they assassinated the Nexus storyline in 2010.

Also around this time they actually fucking booked The Undertaker vs Kane in a fucking HIAC match as a main event. There was a lot of shit being chatted round that time about TNA living in the past by booking an ECW reunion show or whatever it was, but that match was another level. They could barely fucking move! Bush league, as Big Daddy Cool would have it, to be sending out those two geezers in the ME when IIRC they weren't even using people like Punk and Jericho.

What's overall standard like atm relative to recent years? Seems like they've got a few more guys who can actually go for a bit hanging round the main event these days (well Punk, Danielson and Ziggler, anyway) but what about someone like Ryback? That's one of the dudes from the Nexus right? Looks like a bog standard Goldberg clone whenever I've seen him but apparently he's catching on. I suppose everyone at the shows these days has forgotten who Goldberg was anyway.

There was a point where I would have been quite into the idea of Punk teaming up with Paul E. and going on a tear through the company, but my time's at a something of a premium these days compared to, say, 2 years ago and I kinda can't be arsed with it anymore. In truth I think I was always more interested in it on an academic level (lol context) in that I was kinda intrigued by the politics of who was getting pushed/trashed, taking an interest in who was catching fire, and also reading about all the hilarious shit that happens in that world, Decline and Fall of World Championship Wrestling etc. way more than I ever enjoyed actually watching wrestling matches, with the exception of the really really top quality shows (like that MITB '11 for instance).

Well MITB '11 is p much the pinnacle of modern wrestling. Extreme Rules from last year is close to matching it though tbh, and I'd rank both within my favourite PPVs of all time. Punk-Jericho in a Street Fight is fun, Danielson-Sheamus is terrific and Cena-Lesnar is near perfect. I'd v much recommend it.

Most things in wrestling sucks these days tbh. Bush league is one way to put it but that implies they are just hiring shit for the sake of it. Many of the guys on show have potential but WWE can't wait around to let them get experience anymore. Its like Arsenal have been for a couple years, just because the 17 year olds are talented doesn't mean they can hang in there with the pros. There aren't many senior guys left - Kane is v good as a tag team guy atm, Mark Henry was at the best he's ever been before he got hurt, Undi/HHH turn up once or twice a year, Jericho went on tour, Rock does Mania and RR I guess... Ron Killings is next on the totem pole I guess? Oh and Mysterio but he's got fat. TNA still have Sting and Hogan and the Dudleys etc. regularly on the show though, in a wrestler-ish capacity, if you want old dudes bringing everything down. Oh and there is an indie now called EXTREME REUNION which is supposed to be HORRIBLE.

People chant Goldburg at Ryback at every show. Loudly. He's fun to watch though. Anyone who can throw a clothesline like him should be. OK so he's never going to put in a mat classic but the Legion of Doom and JBL didn't either and they ruled. Sometimes you just want a big power guy whose dumb as a plank. Basically he's a modern Ahmed Johnson more than he is a Goldberg.

Even the backstage stuff is p dull. idk what is left to reveal in shoot interviews. Jake Roberts got sober thanks to DDP's yoga. Who gets pushed is actually about who the fans like and cheer for/hate and boo for/just make noise for because the McMahons lost $500 million in the past couple years and they cant fuck around and try and make dull fuckers like Khali, Orton and Swagger stars. So we are seeing Daniel Bryan and Punk and Kofi and Ziggler and as much as I personally don't care for him, Sheamus all over the show for sustained periods. Whereas other guys who get pushed like Del Rio or whoever seem to get relegated to Smackdown or phased down the card. You can tell who wants it too - Heath Slater might be bollocks but fucking hell is he trying to Honky Tonk Man a career for himself at any cost.

Basically I'll say on here if there is anything worth watching or not. Most Raws can be skipped, or they might have a match/promo at most worth checking out. Same for Smackdown and Impact. TNA are only doing 4 PPVs a year, I think to make them a bit more special and hopefully it pays off with smarter booking. And WWE PPVs usually have something good in them. The quality has got better but stories and character is still amateur hour: the biggest thing to happen in the past month is a moustache.

Just watched the Nigel McGuinness Retirement Tour DVD.

The first hour and a half is p frustrating... boy can he complain about not making it to WWE. But once he goes into the injury that meant they dropped him, his bout of Hep B and his actual retirement it gets fucking incredible.

Most wrestling documentaries are fun in that 'random guy interview or spotted in the background' way. Not as good as Cabana's one but its still worth it imo.

U guys I bought tix to see Mick Foley's standup show in Sacto in March

so excited

dont say anything bad about it on the internet or he'll spend 3 days getting people on twitter saying you should die

supposed to be quite funny though, especially if you like jokes at al snows expense

https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/s480x480/14909_548739201812352_434586386_n.png

im too excited for tonight

i just happened to find out that it's the royal rumble tonight, may as well give it a watch. who's watching? what's happened?

oh i already missed the rumble itself. oh well.

GOOD MATCH. but is a semi-retired part-timer reemerging to superman his way to defeating the long-term champ going to annoy yr non-mark audience as much as i'd think it would?

Not really actually. People are just p excited to have The Rock back. Also marks have spent the past month saying how tiny Punk looks next to the clearly juicing Rock, it makes sense a dude twice his size could whip his ass as opposed to Del Rio or Bryan or whoever.

Decent show. Didn't really need to get up so early for it. Jericho return was nice. Godfather may have beat Santino's record and Bryan and Kofi had sweet spots.

hehe was that Crazed Lesnar Fan at ringside during the main

so this is not you, hoy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xg0uEVzknxE

disappointing :''(

Solid show. I was hoping for a more satisfying end to Punk's title reign, and the match was a bit of a style clash. Jericho's return was great, Ziggler really looks like a star (it took me a long time to become a fan of his but eventually I couldn't ignore how good he's become), and Rock vs Cena might have been the obvious Mania main, but obvious is good sometimes in wrestling.

The main basically blew imo, Rocky was gassed and the table collapsed and restarting a match and finishing it again two minutes later is always kinda anticlimactic. Rock's "Hard Times but w/ Coke Flair mannerisms" promo was something to behold tho

Definitely marked for Jericho and his enormous, enormous pop; I love the ones that are just completely out of nowhere and he normally can't sneeze without having to unconvincingly deny it on twitter for three weeks. It'll suck if they turn him heel to feed to Ryback though

nah its ziggs v. jericho at mania

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cmzAhCWkV4

i don't think i'd seen wrestling from this era before, it's pretty cool, a very rustic meatiness to it that's been kinda lost as the form's developed.

http://www.wrestlezone.com/news/268021-complete-match-listing-for-wwes-qin-your-houseq-dvd

this looks super fun. shame it doesnt have the rock v. trips at fully loaded 98, although ive not looked for it on youtube or ever thought to buy one of their dvds.

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wrestling from that era is great! so grizzled. i got the history of the championship dvd and its so fun (albeit not on repeat viewings; it gets boring p quickly)

https://twitter.com/KendraLust/status/301922597682151426

lol plz be the end of cena. nsfw obv.

http://www.sunherald.com/2013/02/20/4480328/wrestler-faces-dui-pot-and-speeding.html

A week into his push. Top boy. Some sort of divine intervention at work here, surely? Alternatively swagger realised how badly he was going to bomb next month and has taken the easy way out via this act of self sabotage

RIP Paul Bearer. Just last night I for some reason wondered if he was still alive. As far as I could ascertain from the available information, he was.

He was only 59! I thought he was older than that

Either click on this link or fast-forward to 3:50 of this clip.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCL4g9k_UVM

When the lights go out and he's standing there, that's magic.

paul bearer in 97 = the best manager ever

which was the wrestlemania where the undertaker came back and it literally began with the lights going out and bearer's "OHHHH YESSSS" blasted over the intercom? that is one of my favorite things, and one of the last wrestling events i think i've seen in full.

wm20 i think

which was 9 years ago and ecw one night stand, money in the bank 2011 and extreme rules 2012 need viewing.

wrestlemania tomorrow.

wooo.

yup.

wooo

Yeaahhh, I'm on board for this. Not watched any wrestling for aaages, Cena, lesnar, taker, swagger, ziggler/langston for the big'uns. Is this even remotely otm?

honestly I'm just interested in Undertaker/CM Punk

and the hot wings that my friend is bringing to the viewing party

Is there even a remote chance of punk beating taker tho? I mean the impression I get is that the streak is pretty much inviolable at this point and they've had their fingers burnt with Brock lesnar re: unconditionally pushing phenomenal young talents early in their careers. Feels like the only people they'd trust to break the streak and not let them down are already established enough without that particular rub

Cena, lesnar, taker, swagger, ziggler/langston for the big'uns. Is this even remotely otm?

think the consensus is that Trips gets his win back, although I feel like with any situation where the Internet is sure he's putting himself over, there's at least a 20% chance that it ends with him tapping clean in the middle of the ring while flipping off the smart marks with his free hand

I suppose I'll watch this why not. What time does it start?

4pm pst I think

1 a.m. round these ends I think.

Just laid a £3 accumulator on:

Cena
Taker
Trips
Swagger
Fandango
Orton/Sheamus/Show
Ziggler / Big E
Rhodes Scholars
Ryback

pays out £650 but I'm not especially confident. It would help if I'd actually been watching and could make anything more than semi-educated guesses (e.g. Jericho will probably put over the new guy, if ADR beats Swagger here then that's Swagger's heat completely dead etc). Not expecting much but it adds a degree of interest

you can bet on wrestling? someone should let the bookies in on the secret...

that seems kinda insane

Spose they're working on the basis that not too many people outside of the WWE are gonna be privy to the booking plans for tonight. I agree though, it is a bit odd. Odds aren't great for a lot of it though, they at least recognise that certain things (Cena and Taker in particular) are basically sure things for tonight

This is on then. Got mah stream, but don't think i'll last long, got work in't morning. Hope they stick on a decent opener.

No one else in here tonight then? Fun opener, quite a few enjoyable spots in that. Sunk my fucking accumulator tho

Didn't expect the 6 man tag team first! Good opener, disappointed in Wade Barrett, idiot.

I believed you when you said 1am, Windsor!

Poor big bald guy, getting done in by Sexual Chocolate.

Aha shit sorry man! That always used to be the time I had to stay up till on school nights, assumed it hadn't changed. Might be an early start for WM tho. What's gone down w/ Barrett?

At least it sets up the next storyline. :/

I'm thinking Triple H working with Orton to get the title is something to do with the Return of Evolution. Which would be great.

Only if it means the return of Big Dave and Naitch running interference in his wheelchair

awww i didnt see this thread had been bumped. boo the corporation again. nothing says ~lyfe sucks~ like the bosses austin was trying to defy 15 years ago being more powerful and smug than they've ever been. you'll never win, why even bother, a mcmahon will always beat you in the end.

I know those feels :(

Babyface underdog Daniel Bryan is getting a good promotion though.

i like that i'm still so accepting of the various conceits and constructions of pro wrestling that it wasn't until someone pointed it out that i realised slobby hairy outsider ~real~ underdog daniel bryan still has all of his body hair waxed off.

deadly gamez 15 year anniversary style?

yay!

Wait what is this confirmed? Would be a great way to push someone new to the top of the card, let them get a few big wins under their belt in the process

not confirmed, just lots of internet rumour that survivor series or battleground will be a tournament. because trips took the belt off dragon and didnt give it back to orton and no title match was announced either. also lots of rumour that war games returns at battleground with rhodes fam and dbry v. orton and the shield - so the title can be vacant a little while longer. if they can make it past hell in a cell idk but recently they've been on top form making people wait for once.

dbry, brock, punk, orton, shield, ziggler, rhodes, show, wyatt, kane, christian, rvd, miz, cesaro or something and you've got a v good tourno with like 5 genuine contenders and a couple dark horses.

I'd watch it.

Good run for Cesaro would be a treat. How's Wyatt doing atm? I check out the big PPV matches after the fact but I never watch the tv shows anymore, apparently he can cut a decent promo?

ok well smackdown spoilers now just make it look like a battleground bryan v. orton match for the title. shame.

wyatt is being kept safe, picking on jobbers like r truth and ziggler or having really good promos or videos each week, like this is the one from monday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym62FPTwFWA

god knows what they do with him any time soon though. he cant go anywhere near the world title but he is already their hottest heel.

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seriously, every gimmick cody rhodes does is gold. he should be up there with bryan as a serious post-cena candidate to run the top of the card. i love the rhodes fam. goldust in a suit and paint!

Did you see the Big Show knock out Dusty Rhodes? I nearly wept. The Rhodes/Mcmahon stuff is great.

it's 2013 and Stephanie McMahon is a top 5 promo in the business

i didnt see it because i try and avoid anything big show. maybe i'll try and find it later. this has been the best wrestling year in yonks, even with a balls wrestlemania.

deadly motherfucking gamez. it has to be.

ppv was shit except the rhodes family match, surprise surprise.

Rolling 2014 Stone Cold Paul Wight Thread

panel of expert analysts is weird, feels like it breaks the general conceit of pro wrestling somehow.

have i missed anything good here?

internet says the show was TERRIBLE, bar the 3way tag team match.

well done on spending 3 months killing off their biggest potential star since the rock tho.

momentum for talented people who everyone wants to get behind is less good for business than a 'whats happening with the kliq in 2013' angle.

I think the long term plans changed completely once Cena decided to come back earlier than expected.

Yeah cos that 14 person saga based around making people not care about the guy they care about needed to be altered around another guy who the fans dont really care about

i barely even remember watching this.

This made me snort:

http://24.media.tumblr.com/63c76492eb5dfdea6f2f7a14dc65a7ad/tumblr_mvflct5cFF1qbsziao1_500.jpg

wait so they cut off bryan at the legs? of course that shit would happen

Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio Jr from Halloween Havoc '97 popped up on my youtube recommendations last night so I thought hey why not, and oh my that was a good match

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJSfVsKLD4Q

yeah that is soooooooo good.

tna is bankrupt supposedly, which is lol. maybe even funnier is that the internet thinks billy corgan might buy it.

Fantastic stuff!

Not 'really' watched WWE since..2010? What're the classic, 5* matches I need to catch up on?

lol

if you have a day free for youtube... in the past three years, 4 1/2 viewing:

CM Punk v. John Cena (Money in the Bank 2011, a Raw from this Feb)
CM Punk v. Daniel Bryan series from last year
P much all Shield PPV matches
Daniel Bryan guantlet from Raw this year
the Mark Henry title run
all of last years Extreme Rules
all of this years SummerSlam
Elimination Chamber 2012 (Smackdown one)
Punk v. Taker

all the Rumbles have been shit. the MITB matches for the past two years have been boring. HITC too. I only remember 2 matches from the past 3 Wrestlemanias and one of those is because it was 18 seconds long.

only memorable tna match afaik is the beer money no holds barred from bound for glory 2012

Daniel Bryan guantlet from Raw this year

^^ Cesaro portion of this features like 45 stiff uppercuts and the best small-package rollup in recent memory

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORvyQDIfueo

I dunno, I'd rep for the all-heel MITB from this year. The very recent Rhodes/Goldust tag run is worth checking too if only because ol' Dustin is better than 90% of the roster.

http://i.imgur.com/oA1QxEp.gif

hours of fun.

the last bit of raw this week is essential viewing. if dbry is that over, cena is legit no longer #1

And yet I just can't see them following through on it. When they bumped him down in order to push fuckin' Big Show, Jeezus.

Unless they're building Bryan for a Rumble win and a WM win over Cena for the unified title, in which case fair enough, it will probably have all been worth it in the end. The only other match I'd want to see Bryan in at WM would be against HBK.

Also of note - WWE sending out a survey with a list of guys from the main-event and upper mid-card asking fans who it is that they want to see maineventing next year. lol. Certainly speeds the process up a bit. Would be shocked if Bryan doesn't win it.

BIG DAVE IS BACK

i wasnt watching when evolution and whatevz were a thing, so i dunno why people hate him. all i know is "I THOUGHT YOU WAZ MY FRIEND REY REY" Batista and spotlight guy wanting to fuck up Cena Batista, so I love him.

Also what should next years thread title be?

Do people still hate him? For a while there everyone was fed up with him because for about 3 or 4 years he was a main-event given, big guy, rarely had a decent match, not a good promo guy, pretty much the epitome of a guy who's got "the look" but not a lot else. Feuding with The Great Khali, Big Show, Kane, Booker, JBL. It was pretty nightmarish.

Then he turned heel on Rey Mysterio and started doing the spotlight thing and just generally became by far and away the most enjoyable thing about Smackdown in late 2009. His initial rise with Evolution was also really good, if only cause HHH by that point was just totally unbearable. Batista still probably the most convincing argument for HHH making someone else a star.

In hindsight they probably should have saved their "Once In A Lifetime" dream-feud schtick that they pushed so hard for Cena / Orton throughout 2009 for Cena / Batista at WM in 2010. Their career trajectories were quite similar at that point. Odd to think that one point it looked like Batista was gonna be top banana with Cena beneath him

Its fascinating how much Vince has wanted to do big guy vs big guy in his career. Batista v. Great Khali? EURGH, Wrestlemania IX and SummerSlam 95 should have been enough punishment.

thinking it should either be Rolling 2014 EL TORITO Thread or Rolling 2014 Sheepmask Thread or Rolling 2014 The Battle of Many Earnest Millers Thread.

idk gimmicks are hard to come by these days.

Yeah the attempt to push Khali to the main event (didn't this happen twice?!) were sooooo wrongheaded. It really was like a return to the bad old days of Mabel as King of the Ring.

I'd be more help with the thread-naming if I actually watched the wrestling anymore rather than just checking in on the event reports while bored at work

Just checked, between 2006 and 2008 Khali was involved in high-level feuds with Undertaker, Batista, Cena, Triple H, Kane and Rey Mysterio. And he held the fucking Heavyweight Championship! Jesus, I forget these things. Amazed most of those guys agreed to work with him given that he once fucking killed a guy he was working with. Unbelievable.

Yeah I mostly just wait for the internet to tell what to watch each week. Solomon Crowe isn't on tv yet but he's a lock for the 2015 thread title. HE'S A HACKER WITH AN IPAD WOOOOO SCARRRY.

Did fans ever care? Or did they just get bored and find it kinda racist?

little of both really. (the cena/khali match surprisingly great btw, hero-level carry job.)

i stopped watching right around batista's rise but looking at the tail end of his run on youtube and stuff, it seems like he kinda figured it out (the batista/cena match from whatever wrestlemania it was--26?--was genuinely good!). interested to see how he is when he comes back.

the past couple months have been butters. however, i'm actually really excited about the rumble. potentially the 30 guys could include brock, taker, big dave, cena, bryan, punk, the usos (and kishi?), shield, wyatts, rey rey, hunter, big show, kane, mark henry, jake the fucking snake, cesaro, ziggler, goldust and cody, idk santino, swagger, miz and sandow. its the first time since like 2008 or something where legit 10 people could easily win it and another 10 you wouldn't feel cheated winning.

and even if its nothing like that, we can still easily see a bryan shawn/flair/rey/benoit long run win or reigns eliminating all other 29 or something awesome.

the first ever tna was on challange last night. jarrett beat up some country music guy and the ding dongs got jacked. start the way you want to go on imo.

i couldnt watch all of it, mainly because it was shit. again, start the way you want to go on.

Rolling 2014 Haunted Rocking Chair Thread