the poochies of 90s platforming

even as a child i hated these games.
http://www.retrogamingaus.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Aero-the-Acrobat-2.jpg
http://www.gamingmagz.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Rocky-Rodent.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjXKidAlXa4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FC6FMNaIPUs

http://www.crashmania.net/crash-bandicoot-3-warped/art/promo/images/3/art/promo/hiphop.jpg
http://cdn.toy-tma.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Funkys-Flights.jpg
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/13/Socks_Rocks_the_Hill.jpg

crash bandicoot was pretty good. never even heard of socks the cat rocks the hill, wtf.

thought this was gonna be about the apogee/epic deluge of pc platformers (ctrl is jump alt is shoot) and was ready to fight for them.

I remember the voice actor for Gex, Dana Gould?, going on Late Night with Conan O'Brien and telling gay jokes (among others), and Conan being super dismissive of him ("oh, an odd number, did you learn that in comedy school?")

Socks the Cat was never released, thank god.

have a little love in your heart for the failed video game mascots

pc platforming was a dire affair. i have a soft nostalgic spot for commander keen and its apogee ilk but, crystal caves excepted, they were pretty poor gameplay experiences. jazz jackrabbit got alright with installment 2, but the first one was a worse version of an already questionable hit in sonic.

hocus pocus has got to be the worst of the apogee crop.

it's just that shooting in platformers was just not a great mechanic whatsoever. difficult listening hour, i'm game to hear your defence.

re: console games - boogerman, while a delightful premise and theme, and the stuff of let's play dreams, is a pretty joyless affair.

http://i.imgur.com/wN6rk5b.png
More literally Poochy than any other, since he was a third wheel in an established series. Paved the way for Shadow, the black hedgehog with a gun.

Awesome Possum
http://i.imgur.com/TjQreLI.jpg

Oh look, it's a trope
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MascotWithAttitude

aero the acrobat was pretty fun!

did anyone ever suffer through ZOOL? such an impossible and ugly game: character design, music, sound effects. so bad!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8DAR0IFJ8g

i had a sega saturn and couldn't afford games for it so i played the demo of this terrible game with this stupid asshole a bunch of times:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BEGuCCp4zr4/UF879AMfbuI/AAAAAAAAL-Q/S67rdevb3eY/s1600/Review77+Bug+Logo.png

i really like the Gex 3D one, different voice actor over here too

"I'm gonna clean up this world yet!" WTF?

"bad cat" for the commodore 64 was a precursor to this and had a cool cover:
http://www.retronick.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/badcat1.jpg

i was thinking about this because i finally played bubsy visits the james turrell retrospective/gone home:
http://thefullbrightcompany.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/2013-08-22_00001.jpg

ulillillia's obsession for busby 3d is pretty endearing

http://www.ulillillia.us/other/vgSS/Bubsy3D001.shtml

Actually sort of endearing

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/23/Pond.PNG

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/61/Soccer_Kid_Coverart.png

omg I'd forgot about Hocus Pocus and Crystal Caves, apropos of anything else. They were my earliest PC game dabblings along with Simcity.

xxp I have some fond memories of James Pond II: Robocod, though it was probably a lot better suited to the Amiga than the PC. Zool I played the demo of; its giant candy/music-themed backgrounds (there were probably other themes too but those were the two in the demo) made me think it was an unconvincing attempt to Sonic-ise Robocod.

Possibly also in this category but I quite liked it (though it may not stand up to scrutiny and in retrospect the whole ~middle Eastern exoticism~ may be, uh, questionable): Titus the Fox. You can pick things up, stand on them, throw them! OK that's not that amazing but in 1992 on the PC it was...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E1NK9KvpCwI/TtFq9i6HuYI/AAAAAAAABIo/YytRW9Ny4Hg/s1600/5272197551_9fcbb3a173_o.jpg
http://www.abandonia.com/files/games/53/Titus%20the%20Fox_1.png

http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130504015645/egamia/images/6/62/220px-Cool_spot_box_art.jpg

i really liked the cool spot game iirc. and now i want a can of 7-up.

FP anyone who mentions Toejam & Earl or Earthworm Jim itt.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d4/Socket_genesis.jpg

I have fond memories of a lot of these, guess I'm just the right age. anyway, Fire and Ice: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1d/Fire_and_Ice_cover_art_(Atari_ST).jpg

omg Titus the Fox, I was totally trying to remember that game to post in this thread but it completely escaped me

As a kid/teen the gratuitousness of these characters went over my head entirely. I subconsciously knew there was something tacky about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Bubsy and the "dude ape" on DKC but actually didn't understand what was happening from a marketing perspective until I watched the Poochie episode :/

That subconscious knowledge that there was something dumb and calculated about these "cool characters" also retarded (in fact eliminated) any possible appreciation I might have for Lou Reed

https://classicrockreview.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/115746560.jpg

i would totally play a lou reed-themed side-scrolling platformer

rainbow island baby

street hassle, a double-dragon style beat-em-up

No Money Down, a first-person face-ripper.

magic: the gathering and loss

does jazz jackrabbit fall into this category? if so that's the only one i was a fan of back in the day

well that plus some mario kart knockoff called 'wacky wheels'

i'm more forgiving in general for the PC/Amiga ones since Mario, Sonic etc. would never make it over

like this one you mean? (late 80s fwiw) (seriously conflicted over which cover is worse)

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-seuuyoWHlFU/UjsEbTR8k6I/AAAAAAAAA5s/skABUN4plF0/s1600/great_giana_sisters_cover.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/70/The_Great_Giana_Sisters_Coverart.png

ok ok the second cover is clearly the worst.

tough call!

PC/Amiga games were largely sold with cybersteroids and reflective chrome fonts iirc

http://www.stickhead.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/top50/gods1.png
https://amostagreeablepastime.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/xenon2shopkeer.png
http://regmedia.co.uk/2014/01/24/sb_1.jpg?x=648&y=429&crop=1

second giana sisters is all-time.

Here's the magic pockets kid.

http://gamesdbase.com/Media/SYSTEM/Commodore_Amiga/Box/big/Magic_Pockets_-_1991_-_Renegade_Software.jpg

tempted to print up a bunch of 'music by betty boo' stickers and surreptitiously plant them on the covers of copies of call of duty: advanced warfare in as many shops as i can

one look at beefcakey Gods dude and the theme song started playing on a loop in my head

ahhh-ah-ah-aah, ahhhh-ah-ah-aah, ah-ahh (beep boop beep boop)

cowritten by John Foxx iirc

this... this was my era

Haha was going to post Bad Cat

http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/1/17009/822520-cover.jpg

"Probably the best written platform game ever"

bold claim

trying to work out how brian's right leg is bending there is some mindbending mc escher shit

people dissing Bitmap Bros itt are crossing a line i reckon

no diss
fond memories of being extreme to the max

nah seriously tho they was always more conceptually beautiful than most of the games turned out

having said that, Speedball 2 is an eternal classic

I really did not like the visuals of Magic Pockets, sorry.

where does sonic the hedgehog fall on the poochie spectrum?

omg Gex and Bug

I had blocked those games from my memory

Conker, it seems to me, is the apotheosis of poochie-ism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVzEVcpho5Q

The first time I noticed this was the transformation of TMNT from comic to the "cowabunga dude" of the animated series, I thought Poochie was a rip on that

Sonic seemed pretty non-egregious in comparison, but looking back at vintage commercials? wow

Conker began iirc as a tame Rare creation that got changed in the back-end of development into the garbage child he ended up being

Sonic certainly has the eyebrow raised in poochie-style disdain. Wasn't there a thread about exactly that?

There's this old gem:

https://eddyshao.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/pixar_vs_dw.jpg

haha. pixar does plenty of that face too (Buzz, green thing from monster inc) is there a name for that face? Ace Ventura riffed on that face pretty hard.

smarm brows

soccer kid looks like he's about to cry.

http://www.technobuffalo.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/rashpimplezitz.jpg

the first Battletoads was awesome even if the difficulty jumps straight off a cliff after the bike level

http://www.c64endings.freeolamail.com/endings/c/coolcroctwins/coolcroctwins2.gif

i always got the poochie vibe from sonic, esp late 90s era http://i.imgur.com/4lk4npa.jpg

cross poochie and gods bloke and we get
http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2009/09/Hated%20mascots/Mohawk%201--article_image.jpg

omg

this thread http://static.eatwell101.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/madeleine-cake-recipe.jpeg

the mascots with attitude def seems like the forefathers of the 'dreamworks face' discussed in this other excellent poochie referencing thread:
goddamn smirky eyebrow-raised badass poochie cartoons nowadays

conker's bad fur day is a great game and purposely poochies up the conker character (originally designed to appeal to preschool-age kids) in a knowing, parodical way-he's p much a pathetic loser for the whole game.

afaik these games were created to cash in on sonic's success. although he doesn't talk in the original games, he definitely has 'tude.
from the sonic wiki:

his personality was based on Bill Clinton's "Get it done" attitude.

According to various official materials from Sega, Sonic is described as a character who is "like the wind":[33] a drifter who lives as he wants,[34] and makes life a series of events and adventures.[35] Sonic hates oppression and staunchly defends freedom.[36] Although he is mostly quick-witted and easygoing,[34] he has a short temper[34] and is often impatient with slower things.[33] Sonic is a habitual daredevil hedgehog who is honest, loyal to friends, keeps his promises,[35] and dislikes tears.

and is crazy for rings

xxxp thanks slm dunk, that was the thread I was thinking of!

Doubling back to the Apogee PC clone stuff, none of these are quite as poochiefied as Jazz Jackrabbit but still:

http://image.dosgamesarchive.com/screenshots/cosmo1.gif

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DzvD70-SKos/UIfqXtW9E2I/AAAAAAAADrQ/JduekgngOK4/s1600/screen_39444_Monster_Bash_1.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/22/DukeNukem1Titlecard.png

I played the fuck out of the shareware versions of all these games. Some were better than others, none were really as smooth as a good console platformer. I think most were better than the really shitty console platformers, and at least tried to go for something a little more elaborate than getting to the end of the level. In practice this tended to mean dull exploration of the "god dammit where's the yellow key" variety. But if you were hooked on this kind of gaming but didn't have that many NES games you could burn a pleasant Saturday grinding through these. As a rule they were all better than shitty PC versions of games that did exist on consoles, like Mega Man.

Mascot-wise, though, the characters were all pretty thin and certainly did not inspire any kind of identification or excitement for the brand - just a block of pixels you control, sometimes with extra frames to indicate that they bend their legs when they jump. Commander Keen's idea of it being a preteen in an oversized football helmet was at least unique. Duke, obviously, got a bit more well-defined in his post-platform career.

yeah i don't actually as it turns out have a lot to say for those besides out of nostalgia. some of them had neater gimmicks than others that added mechanical character to the ctrl-alt-arrows formula: cosmo's suction cups, the bargain-lost-vikings character-switching in REALMS OF CHAOS. some of them were choked with secret bonuses in a way that anticipated achievement-style gaming: destroy all the security cameras, get the letters K-E-E-N in order, that sort of thing. hooky but inane. anyway the style peaks early (crystal caves/secret agent) and never really improves. jazz jackrabbit was a cut above most of it honestly because it had animation. apogee did more competitive work in the galaga/defender vein-- major stryker, RAPTOR CALL OF THE SHADOWS, stargunner.

dc otm that keen was best in show mascotwise. duke was p much as defined as he'd get by duke 2 tho, before his shooter debut:
http://www.welovedosgames.net/images/games/nukem2_1b.png

^^^ this game is exhausting.

conker was iirc introduced as a playable character in n64 masterpiece DIDDY KONG RACING, but i don't rly remember him cuz i always played as the tiger. toward the end of the console's life he ruded up.

http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/9/93770/2363670-snes_bubsy.jpg

I can still remember a few of Bubsy's lame, sassy lines from the like, one time I got to play it. Digitized speech was so precious back then. "More like a bridge too short!"

What could possibly go wrong?
Did I mention I don't like heights?
More like a bridge too short.
Hey, whatever blows your hair back!
Hey, I thought I saw Elvis back there!
Shouldn't that be 'fearless'? Uh-oh...
Well, it worked for Clint.
Go ahead, make my day!
My contract does not mention pain!
Hey, I didn't write this stuff!!!
Next time, I get a stunt-cat!
Is there a veterinarian in the audience?
That's it! I'm outta here! You can't make me.
What, and give up show business?
Somebody dial 911!!!
Whoah, are you still playing this thing?!
Nothing can stop me now!
A penguin saved is a penguin earned.
Do you believe in miracles!?
I win! I win!
I like it!
Surely you jest?
Pilot's license? What for?
Who wrote this stuff?
Another swine mess...
Remember: I am a trained purr-fessional.
Aw, nuts!
Is there a doctor in the house!?
Is the writers' strike over yet?
Go for Baroque!
That's it!
Keep it up, JUST KEEP IT UP!
Haha!
I'll be back!
I am not!
Oh, yeah!
You think so?
Bye-bye...
Alright!
Aaauugh...
The hamhocks strike back!
This is definitely contagious.
That's a neat trick.
Keep this under wrap.
Oh sure, let's all torch the Bubster.
Pilot's license? What for?
Keep it up! Just keep it up!
Who do I look like? Flipper?
Nothing can stop me now!

oh mannnnnnnnnnnn, the badditude. Oh sure, let's all torch the Bubster.

Possibly also in this category but I quite liked it (though it may not stand up to scrutiny and in retrospect the whole ~middle Eastern exoticism~ may be, uh, questionable): Titus the Fox. You can pick things up, stand on them, throw them! OK that's not that amazing but in 1992 on the PC it was...

Original French version is even more questionable, tbh.

http://i.imgur.com/wuOiAVy.jpg

Moktar was some kind of comedy Arab character portrayed by the French singer Vincent Lagaf(that's him on the cover), and the object of the game was to return him to his homeland. Yeah.

For some reason I was always really attracted to Zool whenever I used to see the demo playing in computer shops, etc. It wasn't till years later I got to play it and realised it wasn't much of anything. It was suspiciously well reviewed at the time, but I feel like that was part of a general desperation to prove that the dying home computer market could still produce games good enough to compete with the consoles. Might also explain the positive coverage the Amiga/ST port of Streetfighter 2 got even though it was clearly an absolute fucking travesty.

Zool was also part of that weird 90s trend of games-as-adverts, in this case Chupa-Chups.

!!! OK I have never seen that before (thankfully), but now I know why when I started Titus the Fox in DOSBOX after posting it here it said "yeahhhh you are still playing Moktar in 2014!"

I forgot about the Chupa-Chups tie-in. That brings me on to puzzle game and crisp advert Pushover (or Pus-Hover as the advert looked suspiciously like it was called):
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-x9ifJgELTyE/U5ILRBawAzI/AAAAAAAAAVI/KncGnFH_bRg/s1600/one_step_beyond%2520%282%29.png

(not quite sure if the dog is *clears throat* rad, bad and 'tudey enough for poochiedom but eh, close enough)

so many bad sonic rip-offs

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b7/Quik_the_Thunder_Rabbit_box_artwork.jpg/250px-Quik_the_Thunder_Rabbit_box_artwork.jpg

never played zool but very clearly remember the magazine ads, which made a big deal about how ZOOL would TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE

unless I'm thinking of sth else

lol at Quik, like it's also trying to cash in on the fame of the rabbit mascot from Quik chocolate milk powder.

http://41.media.tumblr.com/5012b8816f075a04b31e380a5768c6cd/tumblr_n9ie8fBzKn1ro3vwto1_1280.jpg

Jazz Jackrabbit was awesome

lol @ cool-ass Kirby

One thing to be said for the PC clones is, if your high school had computers, you could play these games at school, which was generally not the case for consoel games. I'm sure most of the Jazz I ever played was in study hall.

Though, once, we hooked up someone's Dreamcast in comp sci, routed through a VCR that I had in my locker for an unrelated purpose. That was a good week.

https://41.media.tumblr.com/afaf9d7ce9c21d8259e1960388c177e6/tumblr_nnxhbfnyXd1snhn1io1_1280.jpg
https://41.media.tumblr.com/b13b879a442d9c57a15412b3805e6f5d/tumblr_nnxhbfnyXd1snhn1io2_1280.jpg

those quotes

https://40.media.tumblr.com/2e5826c565d761a294a95e4752e4fbe7/tumblr_mpq9yoQKfe1rtobu5o1_500.jpg

http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/punkyskunk/punkyskunk-2.png

http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/punkyskunk/punkyskunk.htm

Equipped with nothing but a red jumpsuit, his stink blasts and Nash's extreme sports equipment

same