DEAR TOM BRADY

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HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF CONDOMS
http://gawker.com/news/tom-brady/gisele-bundchen-victim-2-of-tom-brady-supersperm-242618.php

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:19 (seventeen years ago) link

omg maybe bundchen-brady baby and moynahan-brady baby can have a tension-filled opposite-sides-of-the-tracks soap-opera-y relationship like on that one WB show!

― horseshoe, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:21 (seventeen years ago) link

this is being discussed in the "off season moves" thread.

that's awesome.

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:21 (seventeen years ago) link

oh my god that would be so gross

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:22 (seventeen years ago) link

sister horseshoe you just blew my mind.

whoa.

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:22 (seventeen years ago) link

what if they never meet until they're in their teens and it becomes some horrible vc andrews book???

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:22 (seventeen years ago) link

uuuugggggh yuck guys

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:23 (seventeen years ago) link

is it wrong that I think that would be awesome?

― horseshoe, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:23 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah okay I disgust myself today.

― horseshoe, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:23 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm staring blankly at my monitor now.

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:24 (seventeen years ago) link

Richard: One in three people are carrying Tom Brady's child. Look to the left of you, look to the right of you. If they aren't pregnant, it's you.

GUYS I'M THE ONLY GIRL HERE IN MY OFFICE, IT IS ME

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:25 (seventeen years ago) link

jhoshea otm in the other thread about how if he were another player he'd be catching shit for this. I can't wait for Kornheiser et. al. to be all "virile, mmmm" about it.

― horseshoe, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:25 (seventeen years ago) link

Tom Brady can impregnate men, maybe?

― horseshoe, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:26 (seventeen years ago) link

whoa

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:27 (seventeen years ago) link

peyton has a new bar to hurdle if that is case
xp

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:28 (seventeen years ago) link

ha!

just to clarify guys, I was referring to the show about the brothers who play basketball, which is not incestuous! but then, I did think Kevin's VC Andrews suggestion was kind of amazing. so I am gross.

― horseshoe, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:29 (seventeen years ago) link

peyton manning has no time to even impregnant his wife, much less supermodel bitches. he gotta watch film.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:29 (seventeen years ago) link

aw peyton.

― horseshoe, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:29 (seventeen years ago) link

he has notebooks to fill!

― horseshoe, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:29 (seventeen years ago) link

from now on i am referring to the quarterback of the new england patriots as "shawn kemp".

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:29 (seventeen years ago) link

peyton manning has no time to even impregnant his wife, much less supermodel bitches. he gotta watch film.

what do you think shawn kemp was doing?

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:30 (seventeen years ago) link

fucking peyton manning?

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:31 (seventeen years ago) link

yellowcard.jpg

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:32 (seventeen years ago) link

oh but the vc andrews shit is a-ok.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:32 (seventeen years ago) link

formulating a plan to beat the san diego chargers while knocking bridget moynahan up while talking to brazillian supermodel on his cell phone more like it.

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:32 (seventeen years ago) link

"he has notebooks to fill!"

haha, worst euphemism ever

― brownie, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:34 (seventeen years ago) link

you know, lk, I sort of realized that was unintentionally disgusting when I typed it but I was hoping nobody would notice. I think I need to take myself off the internet before I destroy it with gross.

― horseshoe, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:35 (seventeen years ago) link

seriously, no wonder the pats got bounced in the playoffs. if you were shawn kemp would you rather extend your season by 3 weeks or go home to this:

http://deadspin.com/assets/resources/2007/03/giselepreggers.jpg

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:36 (seventeen years ago) link

extend season by 3 weeks, honestly.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:37 (seventeen years ago) link

I told ally I would bareback all this gisele budschenses, but ally sez she has the herp from leo :(

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:38 (seventeen years ago) link

i know all of these gossips.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:38 (seventeen years ago) link

I was about to say "extend season by 3 weeks." Moynahan's pretty, though.

― horseshoe, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:38 (seventeen years ago) link

"this" gossips

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:38 (seventeen years ago) link

I can't wait for Kornheiser et. al. to be all "virile, mmmm" about it.

lol god :(

― cankles, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:39 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah he messed up imo by ditching moynahan and going with bundchen.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:39 (seventeen years ago) link

sexy talentless older lady v cat-faced herpes harborer, i mean it's like demi moore v paris hilton. it's a no brainer.

unless he is just trying to impregnate all of this vacant ladies to create a super army of porn-addicted serial killers as surmised on other thread.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:40 (seventeen years ago) link

you've all caught a case of the crazies.

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:40 (seventeen years ago) link

SHAWN KEMP'S FINAL SOLUTION.

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:41 (seventeen years ago) link

omg "vacant ladies" I know you probably meant "dumb," but now I'm thinking "vacant"="is not yet incubating Brady-spawn".

― horseshoe, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:41 (seventeen years ago) link

nah dude. if you were talkin about the chick with the expressive eyebrows in the victoria's secret catalog tho i'd be on yr side 100%.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:41 (seventeen years ago) link

[image]http://msnbcmedia2.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/070218/070218_brady_hmed_130p.hmedium.jpg[/imahe]

I think bridge is losing the battle to the gizz tho...

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:41 (seventeen years ago) link

hahaha WE WILL ALL BE UNVACANT BY 2008

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:42 (seventeen years ago) link

lol geddit?

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:42 (seventeen years ago) link

ew ew ew I hate me

― horseshoe, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:42 (seventeen years ago) link

tom brady is a predator ship

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:42 (seventeen years ago) link

if you were talkin about the chick with the expressive eyebrows in the victoria's secret catalog ...
man, i've got to say, i was born about 20 years too late because if they had victoria's secret commercials on tv when i was 14.... well, never mind.

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:43 (seventeen years ago) link

why you need the commercials on the tv, they send like 7 catalogs per day to my house. i mean i imagine everyone gets hundreds of them every year, do you not?

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:44 (seventeen years ago) link

i did not when i was 14 i can tell you that.

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:45 (seventeen years ago) link

also, they stopped arriving in the mail when i moved which was a week after me and the girl i was dating split last year. the irony is not lost on me.

― chicago kevin, Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:46 (seventeen years ago) link

man even victoria's secret is out to get you in this ex gf situation, that ain't right

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 8 March 2007 21:48 (seventeen years ago) link

Skipping 99 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Okay, Tom-Brady-In-Cleveland.

― HI DERE, Friday, 9 March 2007 20:49 (seventeen years ago) link

i prefer the collective "rack".

― chicago kevin, Friday, 9 March 2007 20:51 (seventeen years ago) link

"puppies"!

― HI DERE, Friday, 9 March 2007 20:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Like Tom, I cut mine up in pieces.

this may not be an xpost

― brownie, Friday, 9 March 2007 20:55 (seventeen years ago) link

"sweater meat"

― chicago kevin, Friday, 9 March 2007 20:55 (seventeen years ago) link

boobage.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 9 March 2007 20:57 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm sticking with tits.

― brownie, Friday, 9 March 2007 21:01 (seventeen years ago) link

this thread is disgusting

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 9 March 2007 21:11 (seventeen years ago) link

"this thread".

― chicago kevin, Friday, 9 March 2007 21:25 (seventeen years ago) link

This thread has all the drama and passion we've come to expect from Tom Brady.

― brownie, Friday, 9 March 2007 21:33 (seventeen years ago) link

"we've come"

― HI DERE, Friday, 9 March 2007 21:37 (seventeen years ago) link

rip this thread ;_;

Bright eyes,
Burning like fire.
Bright eyes,
How can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 9 March 2007 21:40 (seventeen years ago) link

45 minutes until i tear out of here and pour enough booze down my throat until i can't remember my own name.

― chicago kevin, Friday, 9 March 2007 21:45 (seventeen years ago) link

I like to think this thread is up in heaven with the Kosar thread and all the fake Dr morbii. Heaven needed a Brady thread... heaven needed a Brady thread.

― brownie, Friday, 9 March 2007 21:48 (seventeen years ago) link

I should be disgusted, but I'm filled with pride for some reason.

― horseshoe, Friday, 9 March 2007 22:19 (seventeen years ago) link

but guys, I could have lived without ever being made aware of the phrase "sweater meat." ;_;

― horseshoe, Friday, 9 March 2007 22:21 (seventeen years ago) link

We'll have to agree to disagree.

― Leee, Saturday, 10 March 2007 00:02 (seventeen years ago) link

the prolific one is allegedly at it again.

― j.q higgins, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 15:30 (seventeen years ago) link

oh christ, he put his mind to it and he knocked up that olson twin didn't he.

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 15:36 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm waiting for Brady's Immaculate Conception.

― David R., Tuesday, 13 March 2007 15:37 (seventeen years ago) link

no woman is safe

― brownie, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 15:39 (seventeen years ago) link

not even bea arthur?

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 15:41 (seventeen years ago) link

his stash of Maude adult fan fiction suggests, no

― brownie, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 15:45 (seventeen years ago) link

imagine that kid, with brady's football smarts and maude's body type, he'd be the prototypical left tackle. i'll bet maude could've been another tony boselli if she'd chosen to go that route.

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 15:49 (seventeen years ago) link

so higgins, what did you hear? you can't just drop a bomb like that then bolt!

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 16:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh, CK's just another in a long line of namby-pamby naysayers that can never show Brady or the Pats any respect.

― David R., Tuesday, 13 March 2007 16:17 (seventeen years ago) link

i heard a massage therapist has stepped forward to say she's carrying brady's child. this is starting to become a naughty version of spartacus.

― j.q higgins, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 16:59 (seventeen years ago) link

ok, so is just shooting indiscriminately now? like one of those lawn sprinklers?

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 17:18 (seventeen years ago) link

i heard you got knocked up in a bar

― David R., Tuesday, 13 March 2007 18:04 (seventeen years ago) link

belichick is going to have holmes gelded!

― j.q higgins, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 18:12 (seventeen years ago) link

i don't know who's playing center for the pats next season but i think maybe he should look into getting a norplant implant.

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 18:15 (seventeen years ago) link

AND THEY STILL COULDN'T GROW GRASS IN THEIR STADIUM!?

― brownie, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 18:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Fucking's easy. Horticulture's hard.

― David R., Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:51 (seventeen years ago) link

My dad knocked up my mom two twice two times, and could never get the grass to turn any color besides taupe.

― David R., Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:52 (seventeen years ago) link

his stash of Maude adult fan fiction suggests, no

man, lawrence kansas, sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or cry!

― horseshoe, Tuesday, 13 March 2007 19:56 (seventeen years ago) link

two years pass...

jhoshea otm in the other thread about how if he were another player he'd be catching shit for this. I can't wait for Kornheiser et. al. to be all "virile, mmmm" about it.

― horseshoe, Thursday, March 8, 2007 4:25 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this still cracks me up

― ~*~*~*~*GAMES AS ART*~*~*~*~ (cankles), Monday, 13 July 2009 06:46 (fourteen years ago) link

three years pass...

While JPMorgan’s $6.2 billion trading loss last year was “embarrassing,” the bank has delivered three years of “record” profit, he said.

“It was one of the stupidest things I’ve seen,” Dimon said. “I’m mostly sorry to my shareholders. But JPMorgan is not obviated by a mistake.”

Dimon said Tom Brady, the New England Patriots football player who has passed Joe Montana for the most National Football League playoff wins by a quarterback, called to cheer him up after the loss.

“I owe him a lot,” Dimon said without specifying when the call took place. “At first I thought it was a friend of mine pulling a prank. I thought it was Lloyd Blankfein,” he said, referring to the CEO of Goldman Sachs Group Inc. (GS)

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-01-22/jain-calls-with-dimon-to-allow-banks-to-fail.html

wtf

― iatee, Tuesday, 22 January 2013 22:04 (eleven years ago) link

omg maybe bundchen-brady baby and moynahan-brady baby can have a tension-filled opposite-sides-of-the-tracks soap-opera-y relationship like on that one WB show!
― horseshoe, Thursday, March 8, 2007 4:21 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

lol

― turds (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, 22 January 2013 22:05 (eleven years ago) link

current facebook friends status update

http://distilleryimage6.s3.amazonaws.com/9cf3eb30423811e1a87612313804ec91_7.jpg

― seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Tuesday, 22 January 2013 22:51 (eleven years ago) link

romo should be in the back of the pickup

― mookieproof, Tuesday, 22 January 2013 22:53 (eleven years ago) link

he's in one of the vacants obvs

― seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Tuesday, 22 January 2013 22:56 (eleven years ago) link

kudos

― an old penis drawing is now "new and notable" (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 23 January 2013 00:57 (eleven years ago) link

i really want to see brady get at least one more super bowl ring before retirement

at least either ed reed or randy moss will definitely get their first one

― seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Wednesday, 23 January 2013 01:13 (eleven years ago) link

reasons to go on, yes.

― an old penis drawing is now "new and notable" (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 23 January 2013 01:23 (eleven years ago) link

Dimon said Tom Brady, the New England Patriots football player who has passed Joe Montana for the most National Football League playoff wins by a quarterback, called to cheer him up after the loss.

― iatee, Tuesday, January 22, 2013 5:04 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i did not need to know this

― lag∞n, Wednesday, 23 January 2013 01:23 (eleven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzbMP7pLRkA

― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 23 January 2013 22:34 (eleven years ago) link

eight months pass...

http://i.minus.com/i74ZJ1CJydgMj.gif

― 乒乓, Monday, 14 October 2013 12:42 (ten years ago) link

― lag∞n, Monday, 14 October 2013 13:13 (ten years ago) link

and that was before brady tried to throw the game away. i wonder what the story is.

― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 14 October 2013 13:16 (ten years ago) link

three years pass...

https://s.yimg.com/lo/api/res/1.2/Ttf4C6DVnIuShqObdKoxYg--/YXBwaWQ9eW15O3c9NjQwO3E9NzU7c209MQ--/http://media.zenfs.com/en/homerun/feed_manager_auto_publish_494/b7d73789989f7ea54a70e1387e680bc9

― nomar, Saturday, 6 May 2017 22:54 (six years ago) link

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