Your favourite jokes about the NFL

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Which NFL player is often drunk by people in Bristol in the summer?
William Perry (Perry is a type of cider made with pears traditionally imbibed in the West Country)!

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 16:02 (sixteen years ago) link

Which NFL player is often drunk by people in the morning?
OJ (OJ is short for "orange juice" and also the nickname of Orenthal James Simpson)!

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 16:03 (sixteen years ago) link

Why did the American footballer kick the son of a sow?
Because it was a pig's kin (I think pigskin is slang for the ball used in American football, can someone check this please?)!

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 16:07 (sixteen years ago) link

let's challenge dom to make up jokes about nfl player that he doesn't know

first up:
asante samuel

J0rdan S., Tuesday, 24 June 2008 16:08 (sixteen years ago) link

Q. Where do gay footballers like to be penetrated?
A. In the end zone (end zone)

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 16:09 (sixteen years ago) link

What is an American footballer's favourite high street jewellers in the UK?
HG Samuel (Asante Samuel)!

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 16:12 (sixteen years ago) link

Q. Why is Paris Hilton popular with American football coaches?
A. She is a wide receiver! (Her genitals have been stretched through over-use)

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 16:14 (sixteen years ago) link

ok next up:

Dwayne Jarrett

J0rdan S., Tuesday, 24 June 2008 16:15 (sixteen years ago) link

A wide receiver for an NFL team walks into his local bar and has nothing to drink. The bartender was curious and asked him why he wasn't drinking anything.
The wide reciever replies, "I don't drink anymore... Last night, I blew the catch for the touchdown that would have won us the game.”
"Oh that's nothing", the bartender replies. "Everyone drops a crucial pass under pressure at times!"
"No, No", the wide reciever replies. "You don't understand. The Catch For The Touchdown That Would Have Won Us The Game is my dog!"

DJ Mencap, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 16:26 (sixteen years ago) link

dj mencap off in his own world thread

J0rdan S., Tuesday, 24 June 2008 16:29 (sixteen years ago) link

a better world, in fact

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 16:32 (sixteen years ago) link

Why don’t NFL players need a driver's license?
Because, aside from the fact that the obscene amounts of money paid to professional sportsmen mean they can easily afford to be chauffeured anywhere they wish, there’s no road between the kitchen and bedroom!

DJ Mencap, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 17:01 (sixteen years ago) link

It stands for NO FUN LEAGUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

forksclovetofu, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 17:02 (sixteen years ago) link

Q. What do you call it when an NFL player penetrates an exhaust pipe?
A. A pipecock! (a pipecock is the method of scoring in the NFL)

MPx4A, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 08:47 (sixteen years ago) link

Q. Why was the NFL player crying?
A. Because Michael Vick killed his dog!

MPx4A, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 08:48 (sixteen years ago) link

Q. What do you call a quartermaster whose hair has been formed into elaborate intertwining strands?
A. Braid-y Quinn (Brady Quinn)!

MPx4A, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 09:01 (sixteen years ago) link


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