In this thread, some friendly advice from Jack T Chick

Back in the nineties there used to be lots of retouched Jack T. Chick comics available in the net; my favourite one was an edited version of the trucker tract, where the two greasy truckers are homophobes instead of Jesus-deniers, and the big muscular guy who comes to talk to them isn't a Christian but a gay man, who ends up converting them to the joys of sodomy. But most of these comics were removed at some point, because Jack Chick had threatened the various sites showing them with legal action.

it's still here, tuomas

Yeah, but those seem to be redrawn versions of the original strips instead of retouched ones (most likely done so to avoid the aforementioned legal action), and there were a lot more of them available back then.

Ooh thats odd, some of thedirect links are now not working and they were earlier today. Access log mayhem!

It was only a matter of time until someone made a live action movie based on the tracts
http://www.316now.com/heaven.html

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0042/0042_01.asp

Lovely attention to detail on this one. You can see every single line in the angry guy's face! beware the moon god! and non-towelheaded-but-mustachio'd butch men bearing tautologies!

<i>Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour?

[ ]Yes [ ] No _______Date</i>

If you want your personal theology and religon reduced to the level of 8-year-olds passing notes in class, feel free to check the appropriate box.

Oh yeah, and England is being brought to its knees, apparently.

damn bbcode

http://achewood.com/index.php?date=08192008

http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/autaux?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=http%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D08192008

THE TRUTH ABOUT WHEN HIPPOS PEE

Hey computer man!

What's the one where some guy is lead to sin by his best mate, they wake up in hell, then his mate pulls off his face and he was actually THE FUCKING DEVIL ALL ALONG. That's my favourite, it's called GOTCHA! or TRICKED YOU! or something.

Shrek: Outhouse

http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/Third_Party_Photo/2004/12/11/1102786120_7673.jpg

Shrek comes out of the outhouse.
He looks at the valley.
Shrek is happy, proud and content.

http://www.myconfinedspace.com/?attachment_id=83672

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a7/Ockham/lisa1.jpg

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a7/Ockham/lisa2.jpg

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a7/Ockham/lisa3.jpg

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a7/Ockham/lisa4.jpg

I came.

"Good news, honey. Your daddy and I will never hurt you again. You're about to be put in a foster placement and he's looking at some jail time for raping you anyway."

"You got a job?" is an awesome pre-emptive shootdown of the I found God revelation though.

is it me or is it kinda weird that Chick just skips the actual praying both times in that strip. Like, I wonder what magic happens in those "10 minutes"

This one's a doozy:
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.ASP

Legendary, that one.

Wait is the dude still alive?

88 apparently.

thing i like about that one is that debbie learns the secret real spells beneath d&d as a reward for reaching level 8, which is like if the church of scientology told you about xenu and the volcanoes after you gave them $20.75

Satanists are an undiscriminating bunch compared to Scientologists.

"Dark Dungeons" is getting its own film adaptation, played straight.

http://darkdungeonsthemovie.com/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk2Pr9jXCr8

How people have committed suicide due to RPGs?

The American Association of Suicidology has concluded that RPGs don’t play a role in suicide, and the Association of Gifted-Creative Children of California did a survey of all psychological autopsies of adolescent suicides and could not find a single one that was linked to RPGs. However, that DOES NOT mean that it doesn’t happen. For all we know, BIG-GAMING may just be very good at covering them up.

What evidence is there that RPG’s use real world spells?

William Schnoebelen has publically stated that, as a witch high priest (Alexandrian tradition) during the period 1973-84, he was approached by a roleplaying company to make sure their spells were accurate; http://www.chick.com/articles/dnd.asp

In addition he warns us the “the Necronomicon and the Cthulhu mythos are quite real” which is why those dangers are exposed in Dark Dungeons the movie

http://www.chick.com/articles/frpg.asp

I call your use of the words "played straight" into question.

Finally, something to fit that double bill with Mazes & Monsters!

Well they weren't winking directly into the camera lens, is what I'm saying.

Plus I enjoyed the shot of D20s splashing thru cheap movie blood syrup

"In addition he warns us the “the Necronomicon and the Cthulhu mythos are quite real”

God I hope so

This was his life!

https://twitter.com/ChickPub/status/790604219376033792

somebody goofed :(

"Open the book of life!"
"His name does not appear Lord"

So mentioning it on a public twitter account brings out the batshit rightwingers.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2016/10/24/haw-haw-haw/

...Chick’s cartoons were infused with the abominable fancy — the idea that the supreme delight awaiting true believers in Heaven would be that they got to watch the eternal torment of wicked sinners in Hell. That was pretty much the essence of Chick’s faith. Nowhere in his ubiquitous cartoon pamphlets would you find any hint of love for God, love for Jesus, or love for neighbor. That wasn’t what animated him. He was driven, instead, by the eschatological hope that one day God would settle all the arguments he was never able to win here on earth — settle them with remorseless, bloodthirsty finality.

[...]

That stunted, hostile form of religion was expressed not just in Chick’s tracts, but in the way those tracts were employed as a kind of passive-aggressive “evangelism.” This was never primarily an attempt to “seek and to save the lost,” but rather a way of fulfilling some perceived minimal obligation that would exculpate believers from any responsibility for the longed-for damnation of others. These tracts, in other words, don’t seem to be distributed in the hope that others will read them and “get saved,” but with the idea that they will make it impossible for the doomed and damned to claim they were never told. They weren’t an attempt to nudge others toward Heaven, but to amplify the case that they deserved Hell.

When someone gives you a Jack Chick tract, it’s not because they don’t want you to go to Hell, it’s because they don’t want you to be able to blame them for not warning you before you do. They’re just hoping to dispel any potential guilt that might one day detract from their full enjoyment of the abominable fancy. They want to look down from Heaven and watch your eternal torment in Hell unbothered by any lingering regret.

good riddance to human garbage. and human garbage who sucked at drawing!

A collection of mock Tracts: some worthwhile, others are weird.

http://foo.ca/wp/chick-tract-satire/

Does anybody know where I would find the spoof one, I think repurposed from the real D&D one, where the girl screams "I'll destroy anyone who opposes the furious countercultural assault of noise music"?