Maybe he was sniffing glue.
― EZ Snappin, Friday, 27 November 2009 19:57 (fourteen years ago) link
they took pains to point it out, so it must be true
― Louis Cll (darraghmac), Friday, 27 November 2009 19:57 (fourteen years ago) link
I hope he's OK. No one wants to see him play like a spaz.
― Alba, Friday, 27 November 2009 19:57 (fourteen years ago) link
he's only 33? that makes me feel like i've done NOTHING with my life!
― werner herzog eats a cookie (get bent), Friday, 27 November 2009 20:00 (fourteen years ago) link
i like this dude hope hes ok
― liverpolol da don (a hoy hoy), Friday, 27 November 2009 20:01 (fourteen years ago) link
you probably had a better childhood tho
xp
― iatee, Friday, 27 November 2009 20:01 (fourteen years ago) link
roger federer gotta be worried
― Louis Cll (darraghmac), Friday, 27 November 2009 20:06 (fourteen years ago) link
^guilty lol
― Puddle of Thudd (acoleuthic), Friday, 27 November 2009 20:07 (fourteen years ago) link
what did you do to roger federer lj!!!!
― iatee, Friday, 27 November 2009 20:07 (fourteen years ago) link
DUI (of tryptophan)
― ♪♫(●̲̲̅̅̅̅=̲̲̅̅̅̅●̲̅̅)♪♫ (Steve Shasta), Friday, 27 November 2009 20:08 (fourteen years ago) link
According to Sky news, he got seriously injured reversing his car!
― go in go hard brother (Billy Dods), Friday, 27 November 2009 20:12 (fourteen years ago) link
on cnn right now, 10+ minutes of live helicopter shot of ... the tree.
― hellzapoppa (tipsy mothra), Friday, 27 November 2009 20:22 (fourteen years ago) link
(do we know if the tree has any past record of violence? were there tensions between the tree and the woodses? exactly how deep do those roots go?)
― hellzapoppa (tipsy mothra), Friday, 27 November 2009 20:23 (fourteen years ago) link
can't see the Woods for the trees...
― so says surgeon snoball (snoball), Friday, 27 November 2009 20:28 (fourteen years ago) link
oh yes
― Louis Cll (darraghmac), Friday, 27 November 2009 20:29 (fourteen years ago) link
CNBC sports business reporter Darren Rovell tweeted: "Tiger Woods' agent on condition: 'He is fine.'
― Alba, Friday, 27 November 2009 20:33 (fourteen years ago) link
this will fuck up his stats re: driving accuracy
― Bob Saget's "Night Moves": C or D (WmC), Friday, 27 November 2009 20:47 (fourteen years ago) link
^^^ kudos
― itdn put butt in the display name (gbx), Friday, 27 November 2009 20:53 (fourteen years ago) link
My bet is that he stepped on the gas instead of the brake by mistake. Anyways, the world's greatest golfer is a clutz. He should think twice before deciding to putter around the neighborhood again
― Super Cub, Friday, 27 November 2009 20:53 (fourteen years ago) link
I was trying to think of another pun, but everything I came up with was below par.
― so says surgeon snoball (snoball), Friday, 27 November 2009 20:54 (fourteen years ago) link
Shakey Mo Collier could not be reached for comment.
― Information. Motivation. Supplementation. (wanko ergo sum), Friday, 27 November 2009 21:04 (fourteen years ago) link
BBC guy reporting this from outside the White House
― Ismael Klata, Friday, 27 November 2009 21:05 (fourteen years ago) link
He made a terrible Obama/Woods gaffe??
― Alba, Friday, 27 November 2009 21:10 (fourteen years ago) link
Following this non-story on Sky Sports news was pretty funny. Wetting themselves with excitement but with nothing to say.
'What we do know is that details are very sketchy. What we do know is that there are a lot of questions.'
Seriously, it was like The Day Today. Then they interviewed an American Fox journalist and started asking, 'Could this be connected in any way with rumours about his personal life in some sections of the media?' 'Does the fact the car crash wasn't particularly serious suggest that these serious injuries happened outside the car.' etc
Also used the phrase 'This is very breaking news' (as opposed to the normal pseudo-hash of press releases and talking heads they usually pass off as breaking news I assume), and twice referred to Sky Sports News as Tiger Woods ('Stay with us here at Tiger Woods as we bring you all the latest news on Tiger Woods')
Then about an hour later it was 'More on the huge breaking news on Tiger Woods - he is being released from hospital and is said to be fine. We will have more on this as soon as we hear about it. There are still plenty of questions to be answered - why was he leaving his house?'
I do not joke.
So basically, they went off half cocked on a non-story and then made that error of judgement the news.
Really does give the lie to 24 hour rolling news - this is the sort of stuff they're supposed to be best at, but they just wet their pants and had nothing to say. Anchor even said 'This is real news' at one point.
― 'virgin' should be 'wizard' (GamalielRatsey), Saturday, 28 November 2009 00:03 (fourteen years ago) link
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/golf/8383782.stm
Aerial footage shows the tree it is believed was struck in the accident
― so says surgeon snoball (snoball), Saturday, 28 November 2009 00:08 (fourteen years ago) link
Ha yeah, it was amazing hopping through the news channels for the 9 o'clock bulletins where they all knew it was a non-story but they all had to run with it as the lead item because no-one had worked up the guts to be first to drop it. Poor old Brian Harvey must've been half way into the studios by then. I'm looking forward to seeing which broadsheets commissioned hasty op-eds that they couldn't pull in time.
― Ismael Klata, Saturday, 28 November 2009 00:09 (fourteen years ago) link
"A tree that may or may not have been involved in this apparent accident"
― so says surgeon snoball (snoball), Saturday, 28 November 2009 00:10 (fourteen years ago) link
RIP Roger Federer
― I HEART CREEPY MENS (Deric W. Haircare), Saturday, 28 November 2009 00:15 (fourteen years ago) link
his driving has always been wayward
― I see what this is (Local Garda), Saturday, 28 November 2009 00:35 (fourteen years ago) link
he can take a penalty free drop after striking that hydrant tho
― I see what this is (Local Garda), Saturday, 28 November 2009 00:36 (fourteen years ago) link
doctors say he has a good lie in hospital
Jokes cracked by me and my mates in pub when this came on as breaking news on Sky Sports News:
Obviously needs a good driver
Wonder what his handicap will be after this
― ailsa, Saturday, 28 November 2009 00:47 (fourteen years ago) link
Time to dust off one of his 35 never-driven LeSabres.
― Information. Motivation. Supplementation. (wanko ergo sum), Saturday, 28 November 2009 00:51 (fourteen years ago) link
This reminds me of the time I got shitfaced and drove into a fire hydrant at 2:23am
― big darn deal (Z S), Saturday, 28 November 2009 00:53 (fourteen years ago) link
― Bob Saget's "Night Moves": C or D (WmC), Friday, November 27, 2009 3:47 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
^i used this tonight w/ some friends who are really zing-y and it got big lols
― johnny crunch, Saturday, 28 November 2009 01:09 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah but kudos for this too:
― Louis Cll (darraghmac), Saturday, 28 November 2009 02:18 (fourteen years ago) link
this bit is bullshit right?
Tiger Woods' wife used a golf club to smash a window of his Cadillac Escalade and get her injured husband out of the SUV after he crashed
― I sb'ed your mum (ken c), Saturday, 28 November 2009 02:35 (fourteen years ago) link
i thought you'd be chipping in with a few puns
― nearly 50 in vagina years (onimo), Saturday, 28 November 2009 02:40 (fourteen years ago) link
Denise Higgins used a snooker cue to fend off youths attacking her husband John Higgins
― I sb'ed your mum (ken c), Saturday, 28 November 2009 02:41 (fourteen years ago) link
Coleen Rooney saved Wayne from drowning in lake with football.
― I sb'ed your mum (ken c), Saturday, 28 November 2009 02:42 (fourteen years ago) link
I'm sure there's no chance his wife was chasing him with a golf club following an argument and that he's wasn't reversing too quickly because of his fear of being clubbed.
― nearly 50 in vagina years (onimo), Saturday, 28 November 2009 02:44 (fourteen years ago) link
Wife saves Rolf-Dieter Heuer from burglars by colliding intruders with large hadrons at CERN HQ.
― I sb'ed your mum (ken c), Saturday, 28 November 2009 02:45 (fourteen years ago) link
plot to die hard 5 right there
― Louis Cll (darraghmac), Saturday, 28 November 2009 02:51 (fourteen years ago) link
collide hard
― I sb'ed your mum (ken c), Saturday, 28 November 2009 02:59 (fourteen years ago) link
Live Hard or Die Hydrant </ken c>
― ailsa, Saturday, 28 November 2009 03:02 (fourteen years ago) link
fuck, I didn't even pun the right fucking title. Brandy is evil, kids.
― ailsa, Saturday, 28 November 2009 03:03 (fourteen years ago) link
I kind of like the enraged wife story that's developing
― VegemiteGrrrl, Saturday, 28 November 2009 03:08 (fourteen years ago) link
rumours of an affair, eh? the plot thickens
― Louis Cll (darraghmac), Saturday, 28 November 2009 03:11 (fourteen years ago) link
the whole, "omg let me help my husband out of the car by SMASHING THE REAR WINDOW WITH A GOLF CLUB" just screams Desperate Housewives to me
― VegemiteGrrrl, Saturday, 28 November 2009 03:12 (fourteen years ago) link
putt his balls into one ho' too many
― I sb'ed your mum (ken c), Saturday, 28 November 2009 03:13 (fourteen years ago) link
You're welcome, and I will endeavor to maintain my privacy.
― Please Hammer Stop Hurting 'Em (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 19:51 (three years ago) link
i like how the sheriff's department @'ed him
― superdeep borehole (harbl), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 20:01 (three years ago) link
all sympathy for people with addictions issues but he really needs to stop driving around full of pills
― himpathy with the devil (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 20:03 (three years ago) link
hes a billionaire he should have never drive ever
― a nice controlled drift (Spottie), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 20:55 (three years ago) link
ok if he wins another Masters after this I'll be impressed
― frogbs, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 21:02 (three years ago) link
Not passing any judgment on someone obviously struggling with addiction issues, but it boggles my mind when people that rich don't hire people to drive them around.
― soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 21:11 (three years ago) link
Maybe he enjoys driving?
― I'm Going to Bring a Watermelon to Mark Grout Tonight (Tom D.), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 21:31 (three years ago) link
First we RIP Rush now we car crash Tiger. Can't wait to see what next week is going to bring.
― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 21:37 (three years ago) link
In surgery, I'd imagine he's going to done playing golf
― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 21:45 (three years ago) link
Competitively, at least, sounds highly doubtful. Hard to imagine him not golfing, but I can think of other equally driven and competitive athletes who seemed to adjust okay post-retirement. I hope he has full mobility.
― clemenza, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 22:30 (three years ago) link
Might be a silver lining if that chase for majors gets taken off him tbh
― e-skate to the chapeau (darraghmac), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 22:38 (three years ago) link
yeah I meant competitively
― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 22:39 (three years ago) link
When the first crash happened, way upthread I was one of a couple of people who still thought he had a decent chance to catch Nicklaus (about 25%, I said). I was fixated on the scandal, and seriously underestimated his physical problems. In the end, it was something of a miracle he managed to win one more.
― clemenza, Tuesday, 23 February 2021 22:43 (three years ago) link
Yeah agreed
― e-skate to the chapeau (darraghmac), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 22:44 (three years ago) link
compound leg fracture and shattered ankle
― frogbs, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 02:13 (three years ago) link
Seemingly no impairment, that's good news. He was speeding, though (on what's supposed to be a bad stretch of road), and there are obviously unanswered questions.
― clemenza, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 15:28 (three years ago) link
i dunno, sometimes it's all just random. people are kind of obsessed with blaming someone or something for a car crash. maybe he was tired and dozed off. slick patch of road, who knows?
― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 15:35 (three years ago) link
Someone else, I'd agree, but it's hard to separate this from his past troubles, or from that story I linked to above. If it's just driving, at the very least he doesn't seem to be a very good driver.
― clemenza, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 15:38 (three years ago) link
.....
― e-skate to the chapeau (darraghmac), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 15:56 (three years ago) link
― brimstead, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 18:25 (three years ago) link
Meanwhile Nick Faldo is turning into *Mark Kermode.
https://www.cbsnews.com/video/former-pga-tour-player-sir-nick-faldo-reacts-to-tiger-woods-car-accident/#x
(*apologies to non-UK ILXors who will have no idea who am I talking about)
― I'm Going to Bring a Watermelon to Mark Grout Tonight (Tom D.), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 18:37 (three years ago) link
check out those sidies!
― calzino, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 18:40 (three years ago) link
I’m sure someone can explain why it’s good or proper that they bring it up
it may not be good or proper, but the public mind quickly connects celebrities and drug/alcohol addiction, especially when a single car accident is involved. reporters knew this question would arise whether they mentioned it or not, and they tried to both answer it and simultaneously dismiss it, which seems like a net positive compared to the alternative of letting the question linger.
― Judge Roi Behan (Aimless), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 18:41 (three years ago) link
it's not just any celebrity, it's a guy who's underwent a ton of surgeries and memorably got a DUI while zonked out on Ambien
― frogbs, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 18:43 (three years ago) link
Just heard a doctor graphically describe Woods' injuries (bones pierced the skin) and conclude they were "very serious, possibly devastating."
― clemenza, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 19:34 (three years ago) link
(Not a doctor from the operating room, one who was going by what's known.)
― clemenza, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 19:35 (three years ago) link
I’m just always horrified when these things happen but I can understand the tmz celeb gossip thing
― brimstead, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 19:43 (three years ago) link
ugh that sounded really “patting myself on the back” + patronizing, sorry
Good, no charges.
https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/24/us/tiger-woods-car-accident-wednesday-intl-spt/index.html
When I suggested "unanswered questions" above, I really didn't mean anything sinister. Falling asleep at the wheel is exactly the kind of thing I was thinking about--that in and of itself raises questions about why he'd be driving and how good a driver he is.
― clemenza, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 20:42 (three years ago) link
accidents happen to "good drivers" every day, thousands of them
nick faldo said he was going to photo shoot
― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 21:49 (three years ago) link
As the very least, as I understand it, he was speeding--which to me rules out good driving.
― clemenza, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 22:59 (three years ago) link
I'm one of the top 10 best drivers in the country and I speed all the time
― frogbs, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:01 (three years ago) link
Two-car accidents happen to good drivers all the time, for sure--you're on the wrong end of someone else's bad driving. A one-car accident where the weather's not a factor, it seems unlikely to me that he's blameless. He could be swerving to avoid an animal--if that were the case, then I don't blame him. But I put speeding, texting, and/or getting behind the wheel when you're too tired to drive all under bad driving.
― clemenza, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:07 (three years ago) link
As a former school bus driver, I have fairly exacting standards for "good driving", which could be briefly summed up as 'There is no good driving which is not also safe driving'.
― Judge Roi Behan (Aimless), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:15 (three years ago) link
Falling asleep at the wheel is exactly the kind of thing I was thinking about
The car Woods was driving, a Genesis GV80 loaned to him by the manufacturer that sponsored the tournament last weekend, has an interior camera that alerts the driver if they're falling asleep:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/cars/2021/02/24/genesis-gv-80-tiger-woods-car-accident-suv-safety/4573081001/
― Lee626, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:31 (three years ago) link
well you all make good points glad this piece of shit got his legs broke
― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 23:41 (three years ago) link
I'm sure you know this, but that's not even remotely what I mean. I've always been a huge fan, as most of this thread makes clear. Just suggesting that there's likely more to this than a simple bad-luck accident. We may never know. There are no charges and seemingly no desire to investigate, and since no other driver is involved, and his life has been irrevocably damaged, I think that's a good call.
― clemenza, Thursday, 25 February 2021 00:00 (three years ago) link
Sorry to press the point--I have a particular animus towards speeders in everyday life.
― clemenza, Thursday, 25 February 2021 00:01 (three years ago) link
First news I've heard in months.
https://www.cnn.com/2021/11/29/golf/tiger-woods-full-time-golf-over-spt/index.html
― clemenza, Tuesday, 30 November 2021 00:22 (two years ago) link
I thought he was basically picking and choosing when the accident happened.
― clemenza, Tuesday, 30 November 2021 00:23 (two years ago) link
Would be shocked to ever see him playing again tbh. Dude now has more major surgeries than major titles
― frogbs, Tuesday, 30 November 2021 00:34 (two years ago) link
alright, consider me shocked.
― frogbs, Sunday, 10 April 2022 02:34 (two years ago) link
life crash?
https://www.espn.com/golf/story/_/id/35812811/tiger-woods-girlfriend-asks-judge-resolve-nda-dispute
― omar little, Wednesday, 8 March 2023 20:05 (one year ago) link