Tiger Woods car/life crash

Wife saves Rolf-Dieter Heuer from burglars by colliding intruders with large hadrons at CERN HQ.

plot to die hard 5 right there

collide hard

Live Hard or Die Hydrant </ken c>

fuck, I didn't even pun the right fucking title. Brandy is evil, kids.

I kind of like the enraged wife story that's developing

rumours of an affair, eh? the plot thickens

the whole, "omg let me help my husband out of the car by SMASHING THE REAR WINDOW WITH A GOLF CLUB" just screams Desperate Housewives to me

putt his balls into one ho' too many

^no need for that to be capitalized
xp

lol sandtrap

wouldn't he have put in his 5-iron instead of balls? Or do I not understand how this is done.

back window of an escalade, what's that? 4 iron, maybe a 3 depending on breeze?

one thing I know for sure, if I had that kind of money I wouldn't be driving a fucking escalade.

yeah if he had an escalade, I don't think I mind him getting hurt a lil bit

xxxpost he must have got wood, surely

gotta be honest i think i heard escalade mentioned but i'm not 100% sure

i think his caddy lacks an escalade

stop that

caddy was genius but the pun is a bit sloppy. 6/10.

Tiger Woods: Injuries Caused by Wife, Not SUV

Posted Nov 28th 2009 12:08AM by TMZ Staff

Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident. They were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren -- according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident.

Tiger has yet to be formally interviewed by the Florida Highway Patrol -- that should happen this afternoon. But we're told Tiger had a conversation Friday -- with a non-law enforcement type -- detailing what went down before his Escalade hit a fire hydrant.

We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV -- but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club.

Tiger WoodsWe're told Woods became "distracted," thought the vehicle was stopped, and looked to see what had happened. At that point the SUV hit the fire hydrant and then hit a tree.

We're also told Woods had said during the conversation Friday he had been taking prescription pain medication for an injury, which could explain why he seemed somewhat out of it at the scene.

Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2009/11/28/tiger-woods-elin-nordegren-fight-accident-suv-lacerations/#ixzz0Y8Qow27E

Yeah, I buy all this a lot easier than I do the original story. I hardly ever even remembered Tiger was married before this story (I wonder if he had the same problem).

O____________________________________O

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Yeah, I buy all this a lot easier than I do the original story. I hardly ever even remembered Tiger was married before this story (I wonder if he had the same problem).

― Johnny Fever, Friday, November 27, 2009 11:07 PM (3 minutes ago)

ayo P, you're still hetero right?

?

His wife's okay-looking, but whatevs.

oic

I just meant Tiger solo is a much greater public persona than "Tiger & wife," and the only time I ever remember he's married is when I see a picture of them together.

Kind of like Bono. The only time you remember he's been married for 20+ years is when he brings his wife out for some reason.

like for a walk or to get her rabies shot

wait bono is married?

which one is she (l? r?)

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/10/25/article-1080636-023AEDFF000005DC-479_468x374.jpg

c'mon, she's not hard to look at:

http://www.thedailygreen.com/cm/thedailygreen/images/56/bono-ali.jpg

http://evilbeetgossip.film.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/tiger_elin-500x592.jpg

sorta reminds me of anna nicole smith

Where's that thread about how Bono sans glasses is Robin Williams....

LOL have been calling Bono 'Mork from Cork' since the release of October.

B-but he's from Dublin.

(duh I know but too OPEN GOAL not to pass up for the sake of a joke)

i mean wtf

gayo from mayo

as well to make a joke referring to his scottishness

Isn't she swedish and doesn't she have a twin sister? I often wonder how the twin sister is doing. At least she doesn't have a husband who drives an Escalade. When they mentioned the woman he philandered with (okay okay fucked), I thought the name sounded familiar. Then I realized she's the one who also seduced the dude from Angel and Bones.

Anyway, this is kinda silly really. They fought about his crappy car and whether or not he fucked that chick in it. Big fucking deal.

This story has a fair way to go then...

his wife sounds like a right pitch tbh but of course they may just have some ishers they need to iron out before this drives a major wedge between them.

it involves a hole in one who is not his wife iirc

(btw karine isher is a french golfer who plays on the ladies tours. I found her on wikipedia when I was trying to crowbar in another crap pun.)

ahhhh i was trying to think of a hole in one joke!

helping u

: )

alright, consider me shocked.

life crash?

https://www.espn.com/golf/story/_/id/35812811/tiger-woods-girlfriend-asks-judge-resolve-nda-dispute