cooking is work though
― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:08 (fourteen years ago) link
Well, if being busy "cooking" increasingly elaborate things is a shield against having to join your family doing things you prefer to avoid or aren't comfortable with, then yeah, I can see that being annoying to the other partner who's doing all the necessary work.
― WHY DON'T YOU JUST LICK THE BUS DIRECTLY (Laurel), Tuesday, December 8, 2009 10:04 AM Bookmark
This is OTM -- if anything I was surprised she wasn't more bothered by it.
― Bay-L.A. Bar Talk (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:10 (fourteen years ago) link
it's one thing to be bothered by your spouse's elaborate cooking as an avoidance technique to doing the other "work" of the marriage (i.e. taking care of the kids) but again, it just seems like she's looking for something to complain about. cooking (and cleaning up and shopping) is a lot of work.
i can see her saying something to the dude about hog's heads and stuff in the kitchen versus playing with the kids (but it sounded like he cooked with the kids, too) and maybe if he's unresponsive over a long period of time talk to a professional about it?
― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:14 (fourteen years ago) link
you mean like a paramedic?
― being being kiss-ass fake nice (gbx), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:15 (fourteen years ago) link
xpost - cooking is the kind of work you choose and leave less pleasant work for others. i do most of the cooking in my house and feel like i'm getting away with something, because my roommate does most of the general cleaning. it's kind of willfully blind to pretend that shopping, cooking, and cleanup is equivalent to all other household labor - they're both work, but one of them's mostly fun work, the other's just NOT.
also, if you can't save for retirement because of your specialty food budget that's messed up. i can save for retirement and i spend $40 a week on groceries!
― Maria, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:15 (fourteen years ago) link
long period of time=a year, backed up with lots of evidence that he doesn't give a rip about the kids. otherwise, i think lots of people would be happy to be married to a spouse who cooked as much as this guy does
― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:16 (fourteen years ago) link
;)
it's kind of willfully blind to pretend that shopping, cooking, and cleanup is equivalent to all other household labor - they're both work, but one of them's mostly fun work, the other's just NOT.
c'mon this is highly subjective. some people see cooking as work and they hate it! I like it okay, but my wife likes it more. so she usually cooks. I love to vacuum and do the dishes (she hates these things, so i do them) but i hate making beds (but so does she, but we compromise on this).
― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:18 (fourteen years ago) link
Also I mean not saving any money because the lower-priced, ordinary local organic milk just isn't good enough for you and you need to eat hogs' heads all the time or something. The guy just sounds like a total fuckwad in general - everything that comes out of his mouth makes me want to hit him, but I guess the fact that she chose that guy says plenty about her.
― Bay-L.A. Bar Talk (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:22 (fourteen years ago) link
i mean especially compared to barfworthy ayelet waldman shit
I guess these kind of personal/confessional essays are very unappealing to me in general, but Ayelet Waldman is worst of the worst.
― ô_o (Nicole), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:24 (fourteen years ago) link
xpost - i know it's subjective, that's why i get away with cooking instead of cleaning...but my point is that people who do tons of cooking usually enjoy it (if nobody does, you eat simple or prepared foods), and people who clean the bathroom a lot usually just do it because it has to be done (unless you can hire a cleaner or something). it's great that you love to vacuum and do the dishes but i think loving those things, as opposed to tolerating them, is pretty rare!
yeah, not saving for retirement because of the kids' college fund is understandable, noble even, but choosing fancy groceries over that is a choice i don't really get. at least they seem to be on the same page though, how infuriating would it be if your spouse blew your budget on hogs' heads every month?
― Maria, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:25 (fourteen years ago) link
fyi pigs heads are crazy cheap guys
― just sayin, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:30 (fourteen years ago) link
haha i don't know, my roommates are vegetarians and jews
― Maria, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:32 (fourteen years ago) link
although i learned this week that chicken and cream are not kosher but beef and eggs together are, so meatballs are acceptable for non-veg jews!
― Maria, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:33 (fourteen years ago) link
Yes! Eggs are not dairy!
How chickens themselves are "beef, not to be mixed with the mother's milk" is beyond me completely. If they really followed protocol, you wouldn't be able to mix any chicken product ever with any egg or egg-related product ever. And probably anything that was waved vaguely in the general direction of an egg. Ever.
― WHY DON'T YOU JUST LICK THE BUS DIRECTLY (Laurel), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:39 (fourteen years ago) link
The chicken thing goes back to some old European rabbinic ruling - Jews were supposed to eat meat on Fridays but they were too poor for meat, so the rabbis ruled that you could have chicken instead if you treated it like meat.
Why it persists is beyond me.
― Bay-L.A. Bar Talk (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:45 (fourteen years ago) link
I think my wife read this article. I skipped to the end for a lol at the menu of ways to thrust a dong.
If it was a prank, that would be great - read all 4000 words of this godawful self-absorbed wealthy white relationship horseshit that's been said a million times before, and better, and get to the end and it's SPAM!!! BECOME MASTER OF NIGHT ACTIVITIES, PLEASEURS OF A GIRTHY PORK SWORD CAN BE YOURS
― El Tomboto, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:49 (fourteen years ago) link
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2009/12/06/magazine/06marriage-3/popup.jpg
― scott seward, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:52 (fourteen years ago) link
that was my favorite part of the article. that illustration...
household chores are a matter of incentive and comparitive advantage yo
I clean bathrooms because I'm better at it + I v. much prefer that it be done by the person who is better at it; She cleans floors and does the laundry because she's obsessive about clean floors and empty laundry baskets; I water plants and put up the dishes because I'm tall; etc.
everybody should read tim harford
― El Tomboto, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 15:54 (fourteen years ago) link
I think I would be in trouble if I started waving david ricardo around wrt chores.
― American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:02 (fourteen years ago) link
Is she carrying an bodiless arm? Is it for the hogshead stew?
― Hell is other people. In an ILE film forum. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:06 (fourteen years ago) link
its a dong
― being being kiss-ass fake nice (gbx), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:16 (fourteen years ago) link
no i think its the bedroom shot thats best. it looks like someones guest room
― bitter about emo (Hunt3r), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:20 (fourteen years ago) link
but i hate making beds (but so does she, but we compromise on this)
I <3 what u did here, suggesting that not bothering to make the bed ever is a "compromise."
I read the article and mostly was impressed that the dude wrapped his head in a pillowcase so wifey could continue reading with the light on (HINT HINT ok just kidding).
Mostly I thought it was a snoozer, though I found her analogy to the "good-enough" motherhood theory refreshing.
― quincie, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:20 (fourteen years ago) link
i assumed that's what he meant by compromise :)making the bed is dumb, you're just gonna mess it up the next day
― harbl, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:22 (fourteen years ago) link
Yeah for realz plus if you leave it unmade it gets to "air" or something.
― quincie, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:23 (fourteen years ago) link
um i sometimes put on the fitted sheet because u hate putting on the fitted sheet
also i am horrible at making a bed
― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:26 (fourteen years ago) link
our cat prefers it unmade, easier to crawl under sheets (tho he'll get under no matter how taut you make it).
― bitter about emo (Hunt3r), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:27 (fourteen years ago) link
also dude put a pillow over his head not wrap head in pillowcase
is that what you want me to do
do you want me to die
by pillowcase
― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:27 (fourteen years ago) link
BRING BACK THE DRAFT
― El Tomboto, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:28 (fourteen years ago) link
not bothering to make the bed ever is a "compromise."
making the bed is dumb, you're just gonna mess it up the next day
yesssss
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:28 (fourteen years ago) link
making a bed and washing a car: two dumb things. one because i cannot do it, no matter how many times u show me hospital corners. one because wtf
― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:29 (fourteen years ago) link
am i gonna have to learn hospital corners oh no :(
― being being kiss-ass fake nice (gbx), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:30 (fourteen years ago) link
making the bed is an important way to maintain order in a chaotic world
― max, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:30 (fourteen years ago) link
pls don't put pillowcase on head and die kthx luv wifey
xpost
Yes gbx but they only teach u fourth year when you can better handle it.
― quincie, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:30 (fourteen years ago) link
hospital corners aren't that hard; mr que is just hospital-corner-differently abled
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:31 (fourteen years ago) link
i make the bed and i have no idea what hospital corners even are. if the sheets and blankets are pulled up and not too rumpled and the pillows are on the bed, that's made. and since i'm the only one in the house that ever does this anyway, i don't get any complaints.
― hellzapoppa (tipsy mothra), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:31 (fourteen years ago) link
here's the thing--i WISH i knew how to make a bed. but at least three different people have shown me how, and still: i suck. therefore no try except for fitted sheet alley oop to old lady
― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:31 (fourteen years ago) link
make the bed u fn savages
― ice cr?m, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:32 (fourteen years ago) link
*whew*
― being being kiss-ass fake nice (gbx), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:32 (fourteen years ago) link
my mom's a nurse--she has worked in a hospital-- she has shown me hospital corners-- and yet--
― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:32 (fourteen years ago) link
icey I will not make the fucking bed and in fact I will come over to your place and unmake your bed so there
― quincie, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:33 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.organization-makes-sense.com/image-files/hospital_corners-1.jpg
ok, very interesting. no, i don't do that.
― hellzapoppa (tipsy mothra), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:33 (fourteen years ago) link
Hospital corners are really easy - like giftwrapping a box.
― ☜ no, over there (suzy), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:33 (fourteen years ago) link
guess what else i'm not good at
― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:34 (fourteen years ago) link
It is so easy and really does do a better job than random stuffing!
― quincie, Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:34 (fourteen years ago) link
that's what she said
oh jesus
Had to do hospital corners when I worked as a maid for a hotel/resort. Personally I'm just glad we didn't have to fold the toilet paper into little triangles on the roll, as if to suggest that no filthy filthy human hand had ever torn its surgically sterile fibers asunder.
― WHY DON'T YOU JUST LICK THE BUS DIRECTLY (Laurel), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 16:35 (fourteen years ago) link