The new rolling ILX parenting thread, since the other one was getting unwieldy

They have different amounts of teeth. Owen has less on the bottom. Other than that, they are very identical. They have been within an ounce of each other for months now.

So, teething... Aidan's started chewing his hands lots. He's always done it as a sign of hunger but this past week it's really stepped up, and soon after he's been fed, which makes me think it's more likely to be teething than hunger. Particularly as he seems to be chomping down on my finger rather than sucking. Is ten weeks a bit early to start teething? I know it can take months before they actually come through. He has started dribbling a wee bit, but doesn't have red cheeks, and doesn't seem too distressed about it...yet.

I'm loving seeing photos of Alice, Beeps, Ben and Owen and all the other ILX babes, it's scary how fast they're all growing up now! I can't believe that Aidan's ten weeks old today!

We're trying to get rid of cradle cap at the minute. I'm trying the oil overnight then trying to get the scales off before washing his hair. It's pretty disgusting work! Not sure how many goes to give it before deciding to just use the dentinox shampoo.

When did people start introducing bed time, and what time was it, etc? Aidan's still not really in a routine - it all depends on feeding times and whether he sleeps or not - changes wildly from night to night.

Gratuitous fluff, of course

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2289/1536173876_cd0b35af1d_m.jpg

awww...Aidan! That nose and cupids bow lips! eeee!

Beeps actually started with the teething behavior somewhere between 8 and 10 weeks. Lots of biting and drooling. This went on until she was 4 months when her bottom teeth broke free. Now she is 7 months and it finally looks like the top two are about to pop. You can tell because they get this weird little pimple looking thing on their gums just before the action starts. The thing I didn't know about teething, and it may not be the case for all babies but it has happened for my friends with kids and us, is that before the teeth come though they are super fussy for 2 or 3 days then fine for 4 or 5 then fussy for another 2 or 3 days etc. I thought teething was going to be this fussy hell that would go on without a break for months. Beeps had a total of 4 fussy days/nights with her bottom teeth and that didn't happen until two weeks before the teeth came through. None with the top teeth so far.

Beeps started off with a real late bedtime. I guess we were working on the 4 hour theory. 11pm bedtime, 3am feeding, 7am wake up. She started sleeping through the night consistently at 5 weeks and her bedtime stayed at 11pm for a while but then edged its way down to 10pm and now somewhere between 8:30 and 9pm. Sometimes if she missed her last nap its more like 8pm but thats rare. Friends of mine have their baby in bed by 7pm but with work, the nightly feeding and bathing routine, plus wanting to spend time with her, 7pm is just not possible for us. Also, she's never tired that early.

She started sleeping through the night consistently at 5 weeks

WTF! She really started sleeping through the night (from about 8 till early morning) around four months. 4 months plus one day to be exact. I know this because I put her in her own room at four months. The first night she woke up once, the second (and following) night she slept through. But before that she had already a pretty consistent routine. Woke up at around 11 PM for a feeding and then maybe around... Ah hell, I'm feeling crampy and can't focus.

Oh yeah, first teeth was at four months which is considered to be VERY early. But the "fuss" starts a bit earlier. It all depends from baby to baby, but it usually runs in the family: I was early, so I kinda expected O to be early as well, which she was.

I've been reading up about breastfeeding. How quickly I forgot what I have to do. :-( I hope it all works out as well as the first time.

Damn, feeling so crampy.

My son didn't get his first teeth until he was over a year old! Admittedly he was a preemie, but only 6 weeks early. It was kind of crazy. And... I can't remember about Julia. :( Bad Mommy!

Breastfeeding the second time was a bit harder than I expected since I had last nursed a toddler, which is pretty different - and the new baby will be learning, too. BUT not to worry, Nathalie, I'm sure it will be fine.

Also - being crampy is a great sign (as long as you're not too early) - so go get some rest. (I never did that with Julia; I kept trying things to induce labor. They didn't work, though. One memorable moment - my FIL telling my husband that "sperm freshens the uterus." Uh... thanks, dude, I don't think we needed to hear that from you.)

That's all right, Sara, presumably he was talking about how his wife's sperm freshened his uterus.

So MANY things wrong with that...

Belated congratulations Matt! And well done Mrs Matt! And Ethan!

It's weird how much I've forgotten about the first few months with Alice already. I can't really remember when we started having 'bedtime' for example. I don't think it hit me for quite a while than even though she was going to wake for a feed at 11pm (and 3am...), I could still put her down in bed at 7pm and even go to bed for a bit myself if I wanted...

I know she slept through the night from about 4/5 months, and that she was teething at 3 months with a tooth by 4.

guys, recommend something for a 1 year old that i can get on amazon. like a toy. what were/are your kids 12 month favorites?

I remember seeing a few photos of me at that age where it was one of those groups of rings one on top of the next around a little column -- about a foot tall. Each ring was a different size, soft plastic or rubber or something, different bright color, way too big to choke on but easy to play with. I'm sure there's a name for this!

listen, raggett, i don't what kind of developmental slow track you were on as a kid but the average 1 year old is way beyond that colored donut shizz.

j/k! thats a good idea. keep em coming, please.

Our kids are major bookworms. They frickin' LOVE these ones:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/105-5794029-8592407?initialSearch=1&url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=peekaboo+dk&x=0&y=0

And they have spent many hours around this thing:
http://www.amazon.com/LeapFrog-Learn-Groove%C2%AE-Musical-Table/dp/B000ETRENI/ref=sr_1_4/105-5794029-8592407?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1192557508&sr=1-4

This one looks good for learning to walk - I haven't tried it, but the "push-resist" feature sounds good to keep them from face-planting:
http://www.amazon.com/Radio-Flyer-Classic-Walker-Wagon/dp/B00005AWB5/ref=sr_1_23/105-5794029-8592407?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1192557508&sr=1-23

That's all right, Sara, presumably he was talking about how his wife's sperm freshened his uterus.

Woha. This is a KIDS related thread! :-)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2240/1571504515_3ccb165b53.jpg

Reading with granny. <3

VERY cool. :-)

Owen making his biggest smile:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2164/1572375907_fd280d11ae.jpg http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2343/1573261508_060d702885.jpg http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2185/1573259590_0d1a177908.jpg

He's actually winking! How cute! :-)

Howie started having a proper bedtime around 9/10 weeks, I think. Before that he would just doze on us on the sofa til we went to bed. But he still doesn't sleep through the night at nearly 8 months!

He started drooling and gnawing around 4 months but no teeth til 6 months.

This week, he can crawl. Eek...

chris bingo,

http://www.fcleague.org/

is a really really really wonderful adoption agency that handled my adoption into the US.they're fairly near you, and i can't say enough good things about them.

But he still doesn't sleep through the night at nearly 8 months!

Crosses fingers this does not happen to our second baby. Ophelia was so easy, still is. We know that if she does wake up in the middle of the night, she's most probably sick.

He is actually getting better at night -- at least a hell of a lot better than he was 2/3 months ago. At the moment we are averaging 3 wakings a night, he is still feeding once a night but not til 4ish and I am gradually pushing that back so hopefully soon it will be phased out altogether. He's not really keen on solids yet so I'm not too worried about that one feed.

wow...how long are you going to wait to give him solids. beeps got crazy fussy around the 6 month mark. waking up multiple times a night crying. suddenly we realized - she's hungry!! we started her on some cereal and all the fussing and crying stopped immediately. poor kid. we'd been starving her :(

btw: thanks for your help schwantz and ned!

Alice has been a good sleeper for ages, but suddenly she is waking up ridiculously early, between 4.30 and 5.30am, and won't be settled. It's not like the waking in the night she used to do when she was disturbed but still sleepy, she's just wide awake and ready to be up. Unlike me. Any tips?

Sunny, I'm not waiting to give him solids... he's been offered them since 6 months old! But he's just not massively interested yet.

Archel, take it you have tried later bedtime/earlier bedtime/shortening naps?

We have shortened naps but later bedtime is torture for everyone as she basically screams with exhaustion from about 7pm if not put to bed...

Alice has been a good sleeper for ages, but suddenly she is waking up ridiculously early, between 4.30 and 5.30am, and won't be settled. It's not like the waking in the night she used to do when she was disturbed but still sleepy, she's just wide awake and ready to be up. Unlike me. Any tips?

Could be she's just in a next *spurt* (or growth, or whatever you call it) or maybe teething. The only thing which helped me is realizing that I had to *gently* send out the message that night time is sleepy time and that I wouldn't pick her up. Picking up a baby (at night) is not really advisable. Pat'em, talk softly to'em but don't pick'em up. In due time they will learn that they jsut have to go to sleep.

It's all easier said than done, I know. I count myself lucky that Ophelia was so easy! I mean, the first couple of months she woke up more than your "average" baby but then she was so grebt. Even now, she sometimes wakes up, but usually just goes back to sleep on her own.

Hmm, probably not a problem this time of year but is there any light that could be waking her -- street lights etc? If so maybe blackout blinds might help?

Would she settle back to sleep if you took her into bed with you?

Otherwise all I can do is repeat the mantras, "It's just a phase" and "This too shall pass"...

Personally I wouldn't take her in bed with me, she has to learn to sleep alone. I know, I know, easier said than done... :-) Ophelia never wanted/wants to really sleep with us. She likes her own space.

We do a little cry-it-out when they start to push the wake-up times earlier than 6, and they seem to get it in a day or two. They don't sleep in our bed, though, so it's a bit less annoying if they fuss and cry a little.

does/did anyone co-sleep here? i cant see the advantages.

A woman on that annoying TV programme was breastfeeding without waking up. I guess that's an advantage.

From what I've read the BIGGEST advantage (apart from the emotional closeness value for some people) is not having to get up and walk around to breastfeed? The books say (I know, I know, "the books") that mothers tend to notice their babies' early fussiness and offer to nurse before a) the babies go to full-blown crying, and b) the mothers have to wake all the way up.

The Books also say things about temperature co-regulation, ie when mother & baby are in close contact, her body temperature will judge baby's up or down by a few degrees to keep him warm. Also that the sound & physical movement of mom's breathing can keep baby breathing as well? It's actually presented as an argument for lowering SIDS rates, I'd check the research though.

Aha! I have a book right here to mail to my sis so let me check...

There's reams of writing about how it's better for baby's danger reflexes, ie that it's unnatural for an infant creature to sleep unprotected, and that it's possible that mother and baby could both sleep more peacefully and not be awakened by random noises or anxiety if they're in close proximity. That seems like a plus.

Also, babies aren't self-stabilizing physiologically, ie when they get afraid & stressed, their heart rates, breathing, stress reflexes, brain chemistry, etc don't return to normal on their own (or not quickly enough to count). That means less oxygen to the brain and more stress hormones in the bloodstream, I think those things are probably a clear minus.

Esther in silly mode, Abby looking on in mild embarrassment:

http://www.appelstein.com/eafloor.jpg

dont guys get grossed out by breast milk all over the sheets? stinky not to mention ewwww! right?

actually our hospital made it very clear when we left NOT to co-sleep because it can lead to suffocation. i know most people ignore this. new parents have very selective hearing. i know because i am one, of course.

my biggest problems with co-sleeping are a) i like the bed to myself, b) i just got used to sharing it with my husband and up to three cats...the kid wont fit, c) we are paranoid about making ourselves beeps' entire world and that even branches down to things like sleeping independently, d) we dont want to squish her and e) doesnt it become habit for the baby and wouldn't it be impossible to get them into the crib when you're ready to do so? it seems like if you're doing it to calm the kid at night you might be making it a lot worse for both of you and cause the kid an undue amount of distress in the long run?

then again i dreaded the day we would stop swaddling for the same reason and she just kept on sleeping through the night like she had never been swaddled.

mike does esther have a gap in her teeth?? i love those!! they're beautiful kids.

All I'm saying is the US has like the lowest levels of co-sleeping in the world, and the highest levels of SIDS. The whole enough-room-in-bed and when-to-move-them-out is of course up to parental discretion.

PS: Historically the hysteria about smothering babies that sleep with you is based on people "overlaying" their children as a method of after-the-fact birth control in medieval times, when there was basically no other option for family planning allowed by the church and any kind of "purposeful" exposure or infanticide was punished. A little drunken stupor, a little "accidental" rolling over, et voila.

i dont know, smothering seems like a very real possibility to me. i dont know that i would call it hysteria either considering im the only person i know that seems to think this. ive never slept in the bed with beeps though. maybe there is some kind of subconscious reflex that keeps you from doing that.

There is a subconscious reflex, actually -- mothers and babies are EXTREMELY attuned to each other, says um well, every source I can find? The governmental agencies, of course, have to be very, very overcautious in their recommendations for infant sleeping arrangements b/c really the only instances of overlaying in the modern US are among people with fewer resources for, say, buying child-safe bedding. People who might be sharing a living space with others and therefore sleeping on a couch or similar are also at risk, since there are lots of cushions the baby could slide between/under. Cases in which the sleeping parent is affected by drugs or alcohol are also a huge component. But for most people, under average conditions, there's no more danger than there is for any other component of an infant's daily life.

Soft bedding is a clear "no", as are gaps between the mattress and the frame, and adult clothing with long ties that could get tangled or wrapped around things (decorative night-gown ties, I take it?).

There's pros and cons to co-sleeping. We tried with Ophelia but 1 she doesn't like it at all and 2 our bed is rather small (for more than two people) and 3 I am afraid of suffocation (which is a risk,albeit minimal). Also, I think from a few months onwards - about four months - they (midwives in our hospital) advise you to put the baby in a seperate room so they can learn to sleep on their own. This way the mommy (and baby) don't wake up that easily when the other fusses. From four months (or later, probably more six months) a baby doesn't need night feedings at all.

Suffocation is a risk especially if someone is in a deep sleep (mostly due to drinking/drugs). Otherwise it happens rarely. BUt I hate "rarely" as it means it happens. :-) So Laurel, despite every source you find, it does exist. It doesn't happen often, but it does.

SS, breasts don't leak that much. If they do, you can always wear pads (?). It happened at the hospital for me, waking up with a wet sheet, but after that there was minimal leeking (during the night that is).

Breastfeeding is ACE. I mean, after a few weeks of pain. :-) The night time feeding is great, very easy and quick, but then the mother is the only one who can do it and that is a factor why someone decide to do bottles. That way they can do *shifts*. :-)

Also suffocation can happen when the baby crawls downwards and under the blankets.

Well, any of us could get hit by a bus on the way home, too, but I'm still leaving work eventually.

I mean, duh, co-sleeping isn't for everyone any more than bloody marys are (full disclosure: I do not like bloody marys!)! But "the worst that could happen might possibly happen" is no reason to do or not do something -- there's a reason the other name for SIDS is "crib death", y'know?

Uh crib death rarely occurs in a crib.

Whatever, everyone is going to do what he or she thinks is best. But you have to know, sunny, that it's Laurel-bait when you say "I can't possibly imagine what the advantages would be to something that's been natural for human beings for a couple thousand years." I mean, what?

I co-slept with both my kids, and never rolled onto them once! Probably saved Alex's life when he was 10 months old and very ill with croup; he couldn't breathe, but we were exhaustedly sleeping (because we'd been up with him for so, so long). He kicked Austin awake, and off to the emergency room we went. Not typical, but what happened with him.

I think it's a personal preference thing, really. Not dangerous (as long as you're not drinking or taking tranquilizers or drugs before bed).

My kids liked it and it was easier to nurse them (didn't have to get up, so we all got more sleep). Eventually they were each transitioned to a separate bed in our room, then into their own room.

Thousand years of something doesn't necessarily mean it's right (for someone). We tried co-sleeping. (Hey they said sleeping on the tummy was great for so long, now it's a no no.) My husband was very much in favour of it, but I'm a terrible worrier. We tried it a few times and Ophelia just pushed us aside. hah. I can understand the advantages though. Honestly. Maybe we will with the second baby. But I worry so much and Ophelia didn't like it, so it was easily decided not to do it anymore.

I mean, duh, co-sleeping isn't for everyone any more than bloody marys are

I read somewhere that something like 75% of "SIDS" deaths are probably homicides, but that they are not investigated.