shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

i have to know if he has kids

is it possible that he trojan horsed cnn?

He's Facebook friends with ghost rider.

someone get howie long to comment on this

lol.

how's your little mansalad there, john.

Editor's note: John DeVore is a former editor at Maxim magazine and maxim.com and former host of "The DeVore and Diana Show" on Sirius XM radio. He currently offers man-centric perspectives as a columnist at Guyspeak.com and TheFrisky.com. He's a lifelong food freak and yo-yo dieter and speaks fluent "dude."

hmmmm

omg fuck this guy

shit that looks like an onion website but isn't

http://www.guyspeak.com/

If a guy confines a girl to the friend zone, does that always mean he finds her unattractive?
Panama Jackson answered this question on March 23, 2010 12:00 PM

Not at all. You can be the most attractive woman on Earth and be relegated to the friend zone. You see, you might ALSO be batsh*t crazy. There's no easier way to end up in the friend zone then pure insanity.

You see, ugly women end up in the friend zone by default. They don't get put there. They just live there because most men will not attempt to romance or win the love of a busted broad.

And even still, attractive women pretty much have to go way far out there to end up in the friend zone. Men will put up with a lot from attractive women. We'll deal with her strange comments and terrible taste in music. We'll build really big wooden horses and storm beaches until one of our homeboy's gets shot in his why-are-you-famous achilles heel. But there is always a point where you've gone too far. And it varies by man.

For instance, I couldn't deal with a really hot chick that got violent after being drunk. And I mean violent with pool sticks and throwing kettles into pots to make formal introductions.

So inconclusion, read my lips. If you're in the friend zone, it's probably not just because you are unattractive. You might be hot. It's probably because you are insane.

Thank you and good night.

It was written.

oh dear God

lol oh boy

http://www.guyspeak.com/personas/reformed-player/

o_O

Didn't Dave Eggers used to freelance/edit Maxim or some lad mag?

Esquire

Eggers worked briefly at Esquire, which is a men's magazine but a touch classier than Maxim.

That seems a bit like saying Playboy is a touch classier than Juggs.

esquire occasionally has some good stuff

Esquire used to (and maybe still does) run fiction and long form essays--don't think Maxim ever has. Esquire has gotten a lot trashier in the past few years, but still.

maxim = #1 source for biting satire

http://shirleytemplebar.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/maxim-laceychabert2.jpg

This guy's shit reads so much like he's trying to overcompensate for complete lack of balls imo.

IM A MAN WOMEN ARE CRAZY SLUTS PS I EAT SALAD

I mean wtf.

For those of you who aren't familiar with this gender normative term

glad this guy went to college!

lollll

Police: Shirtless man with sword 'hunting werewolves'

Should we tell Mr. Smedley?

Schizophrenic, Psychotic or Meth?

Why not a trifecta, really.

now why would you make fun of someone who's trying to protect us all?

I'm philolycanthropic that way.

The man disarmed himself without incident

Given the circumstances, a certain Monty Python sketch comes to mind.

hey look esquire still publishes fiction. and look who it is. Mr. Columbia MFA program

http://www.esquire.com/fiction/james-franco-fiction-0410

saw that in the magazine, quit reading when I saw:

Joe sucks off his cigarette.

Aside from general juvenile LOLs I can't believe no one in his MFA program or at Esquire saw that and suggested he look for an alternate phrasing.

that has to be intentionally worded that way

gee, do you think

Do any of you feel like correcting Mr. Franco's work like that one guy did to Dan Brown?

its not all that bad a story? i dont know if it wouldve been published if it werent franco but really its not dan brown-level

not very onion-esque either

sorry am0n

;-)

Police: Shirtless man with sword 'hunting werewolves'

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, March 24, 2010 11:54 AM

haha C.H.U.D.s

the black gaping gap

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/terrorism-in-the-uk/7510350/Terrorists-could-use-exploding-breast-implants-to-blow-up-jet.html

http://htmlgiant.com/craft-notes/james-franco-edited-by-the-tyrant/#more-30210

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug5U9uBi8uA

That's kind of like the onion though - it's a funny campaign by a dairy consortium (you're weak because you don't drink enough milk, etc).

haha, so it is

I kept on thinking though, if it's gonna take 2-30 weeks for delivery, that milk is going to be pretty gross by the time it gets to you

man, milk be doing virals huh?

Pizza Pizza Royalty Income Fund and Pizza Pizza Limited Announce the Passing of Pizza Pizza's Chief Executive Officer 8:16 AM EST