scientology & celebrities

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I believe the article originally appeared in a gossip column with "mr movie star" and "mr director" in place of the actual names, and someone has C&P-ed the real names in before putting it on that website. Ha haha ha ah ahahah ahahaha aha aha etc. I believe every word of it!

x-post dunno shakey, I just read that Co$ devotees weren't allowed to talk to "suppressive persons" under any circumstances or summat.

Pashmina, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 18:10 (sixteen years ago) link

I totally believe that story too. Or at least want to believe it. TC seems toolish enough to behave that way.

Nicole, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 18:39 (sixteen years ago) link

i don't know why i read all of that. why does dude go out of his way to refer to the "church" under weird nicknames only to call it by it's actual name a few pages later?

The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 19:02 (sixteen years ago) link

i sort of appreciate the bizarre intensity cruise brings to even his stupidest action roles (i like him in those a lot more than when he's being a "real actor" in "good films")...same w/nic cage in his b-movie stuff.

M@tt He1ges0n, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 19:07 (sixteen years ago) link

what is the actual hook of co$, to the non-famous? i understand there's a lot of 'unlock and purify yr mind' kind of stuff... is that it?

like, if this vid is supposed to be inspirational, wtf it's totally incoherent and threatening, and half the language doesn't make sense unless you're already in the tent.

gff, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 19:08 (sixteen years ago) link

The Germans have a history of some egregious behavior, to put it mildly, but they are on the right track in looking into this garbage.

Bill Magill, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 19:11 (sixteen years ago) link

what is the actual hook of co$, to the non-famous

I assume that its "we'll make you rich/powerful/famous just like our most rich/powerful/famous members!"

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 19:13 (sixteen years ago) link

matt otm! this is probably total projection, but i love the subliminal little smirk all of his co-actors give him. like "i am acting well, showing a role for the camera, but you my friend, are off in never-never land." val kilmer and tom skerritt in top gun, ken watanabe in last samurai.

i swear it's there.

gff, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 19:13 (sixteen years ago) link

every movie he's in has a scene where he figures something out and his mannerisms just take over. like that scene where he plays magic tricks on jean reno in MI 1.

omar little, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 19:16 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.slate.com/id/2182452/

there's a half an hour of this stuff!!

haven't watched any of it...

gff, Friday, 18 January 2008 22:55 (sixteen years ago) link

if u don't want to f with slate, here's pt 1

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=YZFH2HZ2

gff, Friday, 18 January 2008 22:56 (sixteen years ago) link

is that Mission Impossible music in the background?

latebloomer, Sunday, 20 January 2008 13:45 (sixteen years ago) link

man this shit is wacky but you guys are for all the cruise-movie hate!!

i mean--risky business, legend, top gun, color of money, a few good men, the firm, mission impossible 1, minority report, collateral, war of the worlds, mission impossible 3! the dude has been in all kids of classics

max, Sunday, 20 January 2008 14:46 (sixteen years ago) link

10. L’ENVOI, THANK YOU FOR LISTENING performed by L. Ron Hubbard

This is the greatest thing ever:

"Thank you for listening
I write just for you
but others hearing this may find
things they would argue

I do not sing what I believe
I only give them facts
If they believe quite otherwise
it still will have IM-PACT!"

J, Sunday, 20 January 2008 15:17 (sixteen years ago) link

4. THE EVIL PURPOSE performed by Frank Stallone.

omgwtf

am0n, Sunday, 20 January 2008 15:25 (sixteen years ago) link

all the fake newspaper headlines and statistics in these videos are hilarious

am0n, Sunday, 20 January 2008 15:45 (sixteen years ago) link

I love how people "reading about" the prescription drugs dust-up counts as them being "exposed" or some shit.

Simon H., Sunday, 20 January 2008 15:47 (sixteen years ago) link

Sunny, Scientology is nothing like Christianity in teh sense that you can not really leave from the former but you can quit the latter. Wasn't there a woman who died after she tried to leave and the Church (of Scient.) wanted to *convince* her to stay?

stevienixed, Sunday, 20 January 2008 15:51 (sixteen years ago) link


I watched it last night -- he wasn't acting in Magnolia, was he?

it's more like he's "on" all the time. all of his gestures--the gestures of piety, of sincerity, of amusement, of awe--read like tics to me, willful. it's like he's estrange from normal human expression and has to emulate its outward manifestations with some care. not that this isn't evident in 100 other ways, but this guy has some kind of major personality disorder.

amateurist, Sunday, 20 January 2008 16:26 (sixteen years ago) link

the narrowing of the eyes, the rubbing of the bottom lip, the choked laugh, the pointed looks DIRECTLY INTO THE EYES OF THE INTERVIEWER -- none of it seems the least bit unmediated, unprepared. it's bad acting. but i've never seen him not like this.

amateurist, Sunday, 20 January 2008 16:29 (sixteen years ago) link

also that repeated M:I riff sounds like Tetuzi Akiyama or something...

amateurist, Sunday, 20 January 2008 16:29 (sixteen years ago) link

also (sorry for so many posts, this video is long)... he manages to seem utterly confident and yet none of his thoughts seem to be completed. it's completely incoherent, even granted the ellipses (accompanied by that weird camera click noise).

honestly a lot of this doesn't seem that far from enthusiastic forms of christianity as they have been repackaged for television. except the message isn't as...tight.

amateurist, Sunday, 20 January 2008 16:38 (sixteen years ago) link

If you haven't watched the full 30 minutes of this, you haven't watched it at all. The full video is fucking disturbing.

polyphonic, Sunday, 20 January 2008 16:54 (sixteen years ago) link

"I can't...because....I know. I know, so...I, I, you know, you know?"

Simon H., Sunday, 20 January 2008 17:11 (sixteen years ago) link

he manages to seem utterly confident and yet none of his thoughts seem to be completed. it's completely incoherent, even granted the ellipses

miscavige is even more like this (see this interview) so that's probably who he is imitating/trying to live up to

am0n, Sunday, 20 January 2008 17:12 (sixteen years ago) link

well they're also assuming a frame of reference (scientology faithful) we don't share... there seems to be a lot implied and unspoken i'm sure you'd pick up on if you were hip to the church's teachings.

s1ocki, Sunday, 20 January 2008 17:16 (sixteen years ago) link

"I can't...Thetans..because...SPs...I know. I know, so... E-meter...I, I, you know, you know?"

GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Sunday, 20 January 2008 17:19 (sixteen years ago) link

man, that salute at the start of pt 5!

Simon H., Sunday, 20 January 2008 17:20 (sixteen years ago) link

"when i read that, it was just (mouths explosive sound).. you know? i was like, boom (snaps fingers), that's it"

am0n, Sunday, 20 January 2008 17:23 (sixteen years ago) link

he's the michael winslow of scientology

am0n, Sunday, 20 January 2008 17:24 (sixteen years ago) link

"now is the TIME people"

s1ocki, Sunday, 20 January 2008 17:24 (sixteen years ago) link

New Yorkers oozing purple!!! oh man

Shakey Mo Collier, Sunday, 20 January 2008 17:30 (sixteen years ago) link

I can't believe they really just looped the M:I themesong on the actual promo film

Shakey Mo Collier, Sunday, 20 January 2008 17:41 (sixteen years ago) link

a glossary of terms found in the video. I didn't know a lot of these.

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1579963/20080118/index.jhtml

Simon H., Sunday, 20 January 2008 17:49 (sixteen years ago) link

i read last night that danny elfman is suing the co$ over them using the theme song without permission in this clip. i figured it would be lalo schifrin doing the suing, but whatever. good for danny.

also, chick corea WTF ;_;

elan, Sunday, 20 January 2008 17:58 (sixteen years ago) link

a glossary of terms found in the video. I didn't know a lot of these.

Hehe, I figured my friend Jen would have written that, and she did.

Ned Raggett, Sunday, 20 January 2008 18:07 (sixteen years ago) link

There is a great part in Christiane F where she talks about being in some scino-run heroin rehab plant where the treatment was like them moving a football, she'd touch the football, they'd move it again, she'd touch it again, ad nauseum. Basically had nothing to do otherwise but 'confess' shit and read Hubbard's works, which she thought were "really interesting." Then it mentions Germany kicked them out a few years later and disallowed the program. Haha!

Abbott, Sunday, 20 January 2008 18:56 (sixteen years ago) link

cruise movies i do enjoy:

MI3(M:I 1 to a lesser extent)
Collateral
Legend
Minority Report

kingfish, Sunday, 20 January 2008 19:37 (sixteen years ago) link

amateurist wonderfully otm upthread regarding what makes Cruise's mannerisms so off-putting

dell, Sunday, 20 January 2008 20:37 (sixteen years ago) link

didn't tom cruise have an experience growing up with an abusive step-parent or something? b/c if so that's obv. very sad plus one could see how it would leave him vulnerable to being at high-risk for being drawn in by a cult (among other factors, such as experiencing great fame and success at a young age)

dell, Sunday, 20 January 2008 20:41 (sixteen years ago) link

I've been reading the OT III mythos (on Wikipedia) today, and I gotta say that I have a certain respect for L. Ron Hubbard for pulling off this massive science fiction tale as literal truth to one person, let alone however many Scientologists there are. Birth of a religion, eh?

libcrypt, Sunday, 20 January 2008 21:02 (sixteen years ago) link

didn't tom cruise have an experience growing up with an abusive step-parent or something? b/c if so that's obv. very sad plus one could see how it would leave him vulnerable to being at high-risk for being drawn in by a cult (among other factors, such as experiencing great fame and success at a young age)

yeah, there's def. a certain pathos there, but lately it's been overwhelmed by the sense that this man is potentially doing a lot of harm.

i'm not sure all this is an more unsettling than a lot of evangelical xtianity, but well, that's a familiar part of the american landscape, where as this is batshit looniness in all its fulsome newness.

amateurist, Sunday, 20 January 2008 21:31 (sixteen years ago) link

just read the x3nu article on wikipedia. kind of mind-blowing. especially the detail about the origin of modern cinema design. you kind of have to read it yourself.

s1ocki, Sunday, 20 January 2008 22:57 (sixteen years ago) link

amateurist since Cruise's antics are pretty much universally met with ridicule I think he's probably not causing any harm.

This is hilarious:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rundown_%28Scientology%29

The Super Power Rundown is described in the Dianetics and Scientology Technical Dictionary as "a super fantastic, but confidential series of rundowns that can be done on anybody whether Dn Clear or not that puts the person into fantastic shape unleashing Super Power of a thetan. This means that puts Scientologists into a new realm of ability enabling them to create a new world."[7] The Super Power Building is currently under construction in Clearwater, Florida for the specific purpose of administering this rundown.

31g, Sunday, 20 January 2008 23:51 (sixteen years ago) link

super fantastic, but confidential

31g, Sunday, 20 January 2008 23:52 (sixteen years ago) link

just watched the orientation video

http://youtube.com/watch?v=XJtUDcm3bBw

the end of the video has some amazing quotes

"you are at the threshold of your next trillion years. you will live it in shivering agonized darkness or you will live it in the triumphant light..."

"if you leave this room and never mention scientology again, you are perfectly free to do so. it would be stupid, but you can do it. you could also dive off a bridge or blow your brains out. that is your choice" !!!!

also lmao@ testimonials by isaac hayes and kirstie alley ("without scientology i would be dead!")

am0n, Monday, 21 January 2008 04:05 (sixteen years ago) link

they're just as much a corporation as they are a religion. all the books and courses they make you pay for. they say they admit everyone but obv. poor people aren't wanted. there's a part in this vid where they say that occasionally if someone doesn't have money, they sometimes are able to assign a student auditor to work with them.

had no idea will smith had joined their ranks lol

am0n, Monday, 21 January 2008 04:08 (sixteen years ago) link

had no idea will smith had joined their ranks lol

Whoa, really? Man, that's damn depressing...but then again I remember reading somewhere that he and Cruise were buds. Oh well!

Ned Raggett, Monday, 21 January 2008 04:09 (sixteen years ago) link

For a long time, Smith has denied joining the Church of Scientology with his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, explaining that it would go against the beliefs of his late grandmother. But for some time, insiders in Hollywood have insisted the Smiths were, indeed, brought in by Cruise.Smith concedes that his kids are being home-schooled, just as are those of Cruise, Travolta and other Scientologists.

In the article, Smith refers to “Thetans,” who are space aliens in the vernacular of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard.

“… in all of the experiences I’ve had with Tom and Scientology, like 98 percent of the principles are identical to the principles of the Bible,” Smith tells Men’s Vogue writer Hudson Morgan.

am0n, Monday, 21 January 2008 04:23 (sixteen years ago) link


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