depressing phrases

"clouds expected to be with us for at least the rest of the week"

can I have a word with you?

^ so, so true.

"I'm not racist, but..."

'ladies and gentlemen, YOUR detroit lions!'

^^lolz

You'll have to *insert thing that you are supposed to be paid to do* in your own free time.

"To continue in English, press '1'"

― invisible jet (wanko ergo sum), Wednesday, November 12, 2008 8:57 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it's because I hate automated menus, not ESLs, just to clarify

franchise

actually it's just a word but it depresses me

"You know about computers, don't you?"

'Say the name of the product or service you wish to inquire about'

big night out
staff night out
staff drinks
work night out
drinks after work
after-work drinks

etc.

"Last orders at the bar!"

Can't believe we've got this far without that one.

xpost It depends on your colleagues, of course ;)

'heads-up'

'going forward' x 293874290387409238749023817401298740129384

'last updated X minutes ago by the sir weeze'

we are seeking synergies

(we are seeking synergies *going forward*)

"we're gonna have to take it all apart and start over"
"sorry, we're closed"

"I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Please state the name of..."

i have a grudging respect for bullshit business phrases. it allows you to talk about things that nobody cares about with some regularity. it's only a problem if people buy into them or don't understand that it's shorthand that you shouldn't use out of the office.

Audacity has encountered a problem and needs to close...

THIS

"everyone is dry as fuck lately"

have you been drinking?

"bloodwork"

"this is your fault"

"real job"

"do you know why I pulled you over?"

"any more coffee and you may wind up with ulcerative colitis"

"so cut back on the coffee"

"and the drinking"

"and the spicy foods"

this doctor clearly doesn't understand that my dietary choices are an important part of my identity

"my dietary choices are an important part of my identity"

"To continue in English, press '1'"

'to continue in english, press 2' on 311 makes me smile. it's nice living somewhere where it isn't automatically assumed.

"sand went EVERYwhere" for depressing/disgusting phrases, anyway

Not a phrase, but:

Twitter Magnets combines the fun of Magnetic Poetry and Twitter into one web app.

"It'll have to come out."

Please call back during regular business hours ...

"We can still be friends."

"my dietary choices are an important part of my identity"

― BIG HOOS' macaroni is off the motherfucking chain (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, November 12, 2008 9:53 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark

"it's all downhill from here"

but...if it was all uphill from here, that would also be bad!

:(

it's flat land from here

it's generally undulating from here nothing severe in either direction, don't worry

http://keithlyons.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/sisyphus-sign.jpg

One a friend said to me today which was depressing because I thought better of her: "well you cant help anyone who chooses to be homeless and nor should you".

http://i46.tinypic.com/2m43b88.jpg

looooool

the myth of sisyphus loses a good deal of its philosophical power when you include the part about the dragon, but it's the truth dammit

http://smartpei.typepad.com/robert_patersons_weblog/prometheus.jpg

"eye candy"

lightly salted

"good thread on today's covid news:"

“thousands of Black Friday deals”

Whatever your opinion on the trans debate,

AI used to create new and final Beatles song, says Paul McCartney https://t.co/HgySixrkwG

— Guardian news (@guardiannews) June 13, 2023

"The latest circulation figures are in."

― grimly fiendish, Wednesday, 12 November 2008 12:55 (fourteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

😬

cauliflower pizza bowl