depressing phrases

we are seeking synergies

(we are seeking synergies *going forward*)

"we're gonna have to take it all apart and start over"
"sorry, we're closed"

"I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Please state the name of..."

i have a grudging respect for bullshit business phrases. it allows you to talk about things that nobody cares about with some regularity. it's only a problem if people buy into them or don't understand that it's shorthand that you shouldn't use out of the office.

Audacity has encountered a problem and needs to close...

THIS

"everyone is dry as fuck lately"

have you been drinking?

"bloodwork"

"this is your fault"

"real job"

"do you know why I pulled you over?"

"any more coffee and you may wind up with ulcerative colitis"

"so cut back on the coffee"

"and the drinking"

"and the spicy foods"

this doctor clearly doesn't understand that my dietary choices are an important part of my identity

"my dietary choices are an important part of my identity"

"To continue in English, press '1'"

'to continue in english, press 2' on 311 makes me smile. it's nice living somewhere where it isn't automatically assumed.

"sand went EVERYwhere" for depressing/disgusting phrases, anyway

Not a phrase, but:

Twitter Magnets combines the fun of Magnetic Poetry and Twitter into one web app.

"It'll have to come out."

Please call back during regular business hours ...

"We can still be friends."

"my dietary choices are an important part of my identity"

― BIG HOOS' macaroni is off the motherfucking chain (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, November 12, 2008 9:53 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark

"it's all downhill from here"

but...if it was all uphill from here, that would also be bad!

:(

it's flat land from here

it's generally undulating from here nothing severe in either direction, don't worry

http://keithlyons.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/sisyphus-sign.jpg

One a friend said to me today which was depressing because I thought better of her: "well you cant help anyone who chooses to be homeless and nor should you".

http://i46.tinypic.com/2m43b88.jpg

looooool

the myth of sisyphus loses a good deal of its philosophical power when you include the part about the dragon, but it's the truth dammit

http://smartpei.typepad.com/robert_patersons_weblog/prometheus.jpg

"We've called this meeting to unveil and to explain our new organization chart."

botched circumcision

Are you reading the John Money wiki? The details of how that botched circumcision went extend from "depressing phrase" to "dear god I wish illiteracy could have protected me from reading this."

yes :(

botched circumcision using an electric cauterizing instrument

"Scorsese's best film since ______________!"

"If I had my choice about this, we'd be keeping you on."

blubber in the blender

why would someone want to 'food process' red blubber in a lab

idk

it looks so horrible;_;

...potential synergies that we can leverage...

... regain focus on our core competancies...

credit-check

burning man

"it is what it is"

i used to hate this one but now i find its zen-like sentiment endearing

micropenis

actually I'm not gonna lie "micropenis" gives me giggle fits & thus is not depressing