Friday the 13th: Jason Goes to POLL

voted V. III & VII have a place in my heart as well.

II is probably the best one, but V takes it; not only does it have the most nudity, it also has the highest body count, a seriously disturbed, borderline-psychotic good guy, and a trick ending (hint: Jason Voorhies is not the killer...which perhaps should disqualify it in the eyes of most)

VII has a telekinetic girl, so that's pretty cool...

III has 3d kitsch factor, and the prototypical ilxor, Shelley.

Siskel and Ebert so obnoxiously self-righteous about their "dead teenager movies". kids have been going to the movies to see shitty monster films forever dudes.

The Portable Friday the 13th

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ww59WG8PqJ4

This is only a problem if you live to challop.

Part I has the best photography, and one great gore effect (the axe in the head), but that's about all I can say for it. The "twist" is lame and unearned, and ultimately it's just not scary. The general amateurishness of it is really pretty annoying; at least most horror franchises start out with a much better movie (Halloween, Hellraiser, NOES etc.)

But really, none of these movies are scary. There's really only one great moviemaking moment in the whole series: the shot in part 2 when the Final Girl is hiding in the shed and we see baghead Jason through the window, charging full bore at the shed.

I would vote for part VII if they had left all those crazy gore effects in, but since they didn't I'll vote for 2.

The notion that any one of the sequels is even close to as good as the original is just completely laughable.

― Hatch, Wednesday, October 20, 2010 12:14 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

They're all just different kinds of horrible.

Siskel and Ebert so obnoxiously self-righteous about their "dead teenager movies". kids have been going to the movies to see shitty monster films forever dudes.

― circa1916, Wednesday, October 20, 2010 1:31 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

otfm

still these movies are all pretty terrible

but kinda simultaneously awesome

http://www.fridaythe13thfilms.com/saga/bodycount.html

minute by minute for each film

Jason Voorhees
1 (23) : Axel - surgical hacksaw to the throat, neck broken
2 (24) : Nurse Morgan - gutted with a scalpel
3 (25) : Hitchhiker - knife through the neck
4 (26) : Samantha - knife through the torso
5 (27) : Paul - spear to the groin
6 (28) : Terri - spear in the back
7 (29) : Mrs. Jarvis - killed offscreen
8 (30) : Jimmy - corkscrew through hand, cleaver to the face
9 (31) : Tina - thrown through a window, lands on a parked car
10 (32) : Ted - knife to the head through movie screen
11 (33) : Doug - head crushed in Jason's bare hands
12 (34) : Sara - axe to the chest
13 (35) : Rob - garden harrow to the throat

Tommy Jarvis
14 (1) : Jason Voorhees - machete to the head

The F13 series actually manages to be worse than the post-Halloween II Halloween movies

I believe you meant post-Halloween III movies.

but kinda simultaneously awesome

"dying teenager" movies really lack the eccentricity of these films. So bland and wacky poplocker-free...

"dying teenager" movies today, I mean

one negative side of Scream-into-Scary-Movie is that the wackiness and the horror are now kept pretty separate in mainstream stuff. Back in the day actual Jason would have punched the head off a guy who was Soulja-Boy-esque. Now Jason kills Ambercrombie models while a guy actually playing Soulja Boy gets his head punched off in JASON'S STUPID.

1
rest are filth

this thread inspired me to watch the F13th re-boot. had to turn it off about 2/3 way through. honestly probably the worst of the bunch. besides being exceptionally bland and populated by beautiful young men and women who look almost identical, you've got a thinking Jason who sets clever little traps and has a secret underground lair. i expect these movies to be bad, but fuck, at least make Jason the Big Dumb Jason that we grew up with.

1 and 4 had the Savina treatment. I think 4 is the canonical choice amongst the nerds. Will not disagree.

Savini*

Part 3 was on TV last night - lolled at victim reading Fangoria, specifically an article about TOM Savini

Watched the original again the other night just for grins. I had forgotten that they actually killed a real snake on screen. Assholes.

Tie between 4 and "goes to hell."

they stand so much higher than the rest

The TV edit of the girl in the tent being cut in half from Goes to Hell was a real treat. Making out a bit then blood on the dude's face and that was it.

IV is the best, and features the most sympathetic characters, too. Lots of innocent folks on the periphery just trying to get by. VI is the funniest (on purpose). Which is the one with the not terribly graphic but pretty horrible sleeping bag death? VII? Yep, VII:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRJWz8QO8ag

Dunno what it says that one of the less graphic kills was one of the most infamously censored scenes.

Uncut VII scenes (with commentary) here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZMWBszkx68&feature=related

Sleeping bag kill the best ever, any slasher.

Part VI by far! Why hasn't anybody given that one any love? CJ Graham wasn't as good as Jason as Kane Hodder, but it's the one where they figured out that the series was funny, not scary, and proceeded accordingly. Some of the best kills, an awesome Alice Cooper song, and one of the most spectacularly idiotic character resurrections in movie history -- it's a winner.

The rest kind of suck, although the first and seventh have their moments. Part IV is boring, the guy who played Jason sucked, and the kills weren't very clever. The primary reason it's notable is because of Corey Feldman and Crispin Glover, but that's really it.

this series is way more dependable than Nightmare, btw

That's just empirically false. Nightmare has three great films in the series (the first, third, and New Nightmare), part 4 is somewhat entertaining (and directed by Renny Harlin and written by Academy award winner Brian Helgeland), and part 2 is brilliantly campy. Parts five and six are the only out and out stinkers.

part 4 is somewhat entertaining

This is underselling it by several miles. If nothing else, it has Heather Langenkamp's "Just The Ten Of Us" co-star Brooke Thiess being turned into a cockroach. It also has a very cool "time loop" scene.

it doesn't really hang together as a film, but it does have some of the most creative dream sequences. The showdown with Friday at the end is pretty great.

Back in the day actual Jason would have punched the head off a guy who was Soulja-Boy-esque. Now Jason kills Ambercrombie models while a guy actually playing Soulja Boy gets his head punched off in JASON'S STUPID.

Still trying to parse this.

voted Jason X, only because an acquaintance of mine is in it and has the first death (and the scene with Cronenberg).

Back in the day actual Jason would have punched the head off a guy who was Soulja-Boy-esque. Now Jason kills Ambercrombie models while a guy actually playing Soulja Boy gets his head punched off in JASON'S STUPID.

Still trying to parse this.

Sorry, basically I'm just saying that instead of gross dead teenager movies with a wacky side, you have humorless gross dead teenager movies and wacky parodies of gross dead teenager movies.

Okay, I thought that was what you were getting at and I totally agree, I just got lost somewhere in that second sentence. Might just be my lack of sleep this weekend tho.

it did just hit me that to mourn this evolution you have to wistfully recall movies like The Dream Warriors.

The fourth Nightmare is pretty great overall.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Uh which one is the one with Jason in space killing all this space people on a spacestation and if thats not an option I can choose, why not?

Jason X

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

gotta say I love that pop locking youtube
if I ever write a horror movie I think there will have to be a madatory pop locking scene

wow so Part 2 is *good* then?

I think the end of #1 would have been cooler if he jumped all the way out of the lake like a dolphin
but I guess I still like the ending

the longevity/persistence of this franchise is really some kind of small miracle given how uniformly stupid and poorly made these movies are

Wtf 2 sucks animal

it's funny though, nothing about the original F13 suggests "major movie franchise to come". Obviously they wanted it to catch fire given the ending, but the entire film screams "off-brand slasher flick", right down to the non-descript, hokey looking "Friday the 13th" font on the title screen.

it's not a great film by any means, but it's the kind of scuzzy slasher film I have grown to like. it doesn't have the inventive world-building or mythos of Elm Street, it's poorly paced at times, but it's pretty well-shot and has some great visuals and I still enjoy it.

saw it last night in an old-fashioned theatre and at least 10 people shrieked when Jason's corpse jumps out of the water. that kind of made my night. manipulative jump scare, sure, but one of my fav usages of it.

the longevity/persistence of this franchise is really some kind of small miracle given how uniformly stupid and poorly made these movies are

― stop swearing and start windmilling (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, October 17, 2012 4:15 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

particularly since it took them a sequel to even introduce the version of the franchise character that everybody knows today, and the three films to give him his hockey mask. it's as if NOES began with Peggy Krueger killing people in dreams, and Freddy shows up in NOES2 wearing a beanie and a "where's the beef" t-shirt.

*watches IV again cos he's bored*

20-something male: Naw, I can't come in.
12 year old Cory Feldman: Aw, you gotta come in. I've got something really neat to show you in my room (*grab's stranger's hand, runs upstairs with him in front of horrified looking mother*)

https://m.popkey.co/e528fb/l4bN_f-maxage-0_s-200x150.gif

lol at Crispin Glover putting on "Love is a Lie" by Lion as makeout music

Heh, these movies do not need to be watched, period. But VI, as I saw someone put it, is at least a real movie.

vi: jason lives
vii: the new blood
ii
tie: jason takes manhattan / jason x (basically the same movie, boat vs. space)
iv: the final chapter
v: a new beginning
i
iii
jason goes to hell
reboot

weird that they all changed lol

― american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, April 23, 2019 3:28 PM (four years ago) bookmarkflaglink

it is time to revise my rankings:

7: the new blood
2
6: jason lives
x
takes manhattan
1
4
3
5
reboot

not ranked at all, just floating in off in its own deranged universe:
jason goes to hell

Is that worst-to-best or best-to-worst? I honestly can't tell, lol.

I do know the meta opening of reboot was pretty clever, as was the meta opening of "My Bloody Valentine" reboot.

Jason Goes to Hell is the rare horror movie I turned off back when I was a dumb teen, and again when I was an even dumber adult trying to give it a second chance

Fun fact: that is the only one I've ever seen in theaters. It was pretty shitty.

it's best to worst, obv!!!! i do need to rewatch the reboot, it's been a few years, i do remember the first twenty minutes completely ruling xxp

i love them all like they are my children though, even 5 which has the home for mentally-troubled teenagers (located just a few miles from the two most annoying hillbilly caricatures ever), one of the most fucked up landscapes in the whole series and in any slasher movie

lol, VI was so much fun. Great crowd at this screening. The deputy's "Megan..." "MEGAN!" got the best laughs.

5's kinda my favorite for how sleazy and gross it is. It's of a piece with Danny Steinmann's other works, The Unseen and Savage Streets, for sure. Some kind of minor auteur of unpleasantness and tonal whiplash.

Rata-tata-tata-tata-touie!

This whole scene is so funny. Like a parody of a clever escape scene.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evg2Xl-tlo4

In a movie world populated mostly with morons, it doesn't take much to be the smart one.

*half the county has been brutally murdered*

Sheriff: I can't believe Tommy Jarvis would do this.