pro tip

22. 90% of things you dream of doing will either never come off or will prove to be not worth the effort. #reality

23. When you start a business, try to come up with a product or service people might want to use more than once #makeaplate

24. walk your dog in the park as a way to meet chicks. #dogchicks

25. If you need to use the restroom, excuse yourself right away – never wait. #tychobrahe'sdeath

#cautionarytale ^^

26. getting up to get water multiple times during the day at work is a great way to stay hydrated and avoid doing work #worksucksiknow

obv not recommended if your job isnt soul sucking remedial busywork

27. trick yourself into exercising by biking places that are downhill, you will need to come back #uphillstrategies

28. create an appropriate hash tag for everything you post onto the internet so that you can easily search for it if you ever need to reference yourself. #internet

25. If you need to use the restroom, excuse yourself right away – never wait. #tychobrahe'sdeath

― 17th Century Catholic Spain (Abbbottt), Sunday, October 24, 2010 8:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

25a. and don't feed your pet alcohol and let it walk down the stairs for it may stumble and die. #tychobrahe'smoosedeath

26. when you masturbate - prepare some toilet paper to be near you in advance

not to mention the hairbrush. how many times have i had to look for that thing under the bed, with my moist wang picking up dust.

Now that's what I call a pro tip...

10. there's no need to buy poisonous bug sprays to get rid of fruit flies, just spritz 'em with windex and they'll fall out of the air. #pestcontrol

10b. there's no need to buy poisonous bug sprays to get rid of fruit flies, just put that last bit of wine in a cup and put one drop of liquid soap in to break the surface tension. the greedy fucks will drown. #pestcontrol

27. If you hate mopping just leave an old towel on the kitchen floor and when you spill wipe it using yr foot.

28. if you hate cleaning just don't clean and die from disentery

29. if you contribute to this thread add hashtags to your tips #smh

30. instead of drinking either expensive good bourbon or cheap nasty bourbon, buy a single bottle of the former and hold it under your nose while sipping the latter #aromas

31. no phone? pay a friend who you see often to act as your designated 'phonesman', pretending to be you and passing along any important information #socialnetworking

32. shit in public toilets, you will need to clean your home toilet less often #freeriderproblem

33. Working on a deadline, need to turn in some work, but too broke to pay for your own internet? cafes will often neglect to turn off their wi-fi, take your laptop and sit on the sidewalk in front. #haveactuallythoughtaboutdoingthis

34. its pretty easy to make pasta, just put it in some boiling water #pasta

lol <3

35. goth 2 boss #goths

33. Working on a deadline, need to turn in some work, but too broke to pay for your own internet? cafes will often neglect to turn off their wi-fi, take your laptop and sit on the sidewalk in front. #haveactuallythoughtaboutdoingthis

33b. A team of two -- one to drive, one to man the laptop -- can easily locate unsecured wifi networks by trawling middle-class suburban neighborhoods. #torrentingdoctorwhoepisodesonvacation

^^this is how identity thieves work

36. blackface seems to be on the outs these days #blackface

37. your online identity is gonna get raepd #thievery

38. need to know what a word means? check the dictionary, it has most of them #words

39. when you collect 100 coins in super mario brothers, you get an extra life. be careful, however, as you will stop gaining lives when you reach 99. #100coins

40. an easy thing to steal from your roommates is laundry detergent, cuz no one ever remembers how much they have #savings

earlier i tried to c and p my friend a youtube link, instead i c an p'd

18. if you murder someone, try not to be seen, as its illegal

― max, Monday, October 25, 2010 12:14 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

#murder

― J0rdan S., Monday, October 25, 2010 12:15 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark

lol

41. Coming into work late makes the day go by all the faster. #iphonealarmclock.

42. got rice? got beans? cook both and eat them together for a meal that is heartier than either one eaten alone #foodsynergy

43. a necktie makes a good "tourniquet" should your business lunch be strafed with gunfire. #endtimes

44. two knives can basically be used as chopsticks if you don't have forks #twoknives

45. two knives can be used to kill someone twice as fast #needmoreknives

46. want to drive faster on the highway? try the leftmost lane. #travelinamerica

47. So you've got a lot of salsa but you're down to the tiny broken shards of tortilla chips in that bag of Santitas? Mix them in a bowl and eat it with a spoon! #mexicancereal

48. robots will eventually do all our household chores, so it's ok to put off doing the laundry and dishes. #rationallaziness

don't like a thing? no problem! there are lots of other things #things

50. music sounds aboslutly fucking amazing when youre drunk get drunk more often #getdrunkmoreoften(#hashtagswithinhashtags(#howfarwillItakeit(#idunno)))

51. if you find something funny, laugh out loud #lol

52. drink water to stave off a erection #lifesavers

wait I meant hangover

...#shit

53. Want to drive slowly on the highway? See no. 46, but do the opposite of that. #converse

54. A little nutmeg might make it taste better, but it might not. #mysteryofnutmeg

lol @ #mysteryofnutmeg

obviously you take the hard-shell taco and wrap it with a soft tortilla so when it shatters into a thousand shards you don't have to slow down your taco intake at all.

not to cloud up this thread with ~ deep thoughts ~ but isn't the story of american food the story of appropriating/crispifying/salting already decent ethnically identified carbohydrates and selling them in rectangular boxes in a supermarket?

isn't the story of american food the story of appropriating/crispifying/salting already decent ethnically identified carbohydrates and selling them in rectangular boxes in a supermarket?

― remy bean,

the splinters from a hard taco shell present a puncture hazard to one's soft palette. highly dud, unless you are a masochist.

I love it

pro tip: always be a masochist

i prefer cutting my tongue on a glass-sharp fragment of Tootsie Pop

pro tip: scotch tape your taco upside-down to the ceiling. put magnets on the inside of the hanging taco shell. now you can throw other magnets toward the ceiling and see if you can get them to stick. don't forget the hot sauce!!

people have definitely choked to death on hard taco shells. people are dead.

i envy them

https://i.imgur.com/1eaCaMY.gif

Ok lol

O_o

Hot

wow

that truly is a pro tip

I seriously considered purchasing magnetic eyelashes the day

Your phone should be able to fit in your mouth! If it doesn't, bring it back to the phone store for a replacement. #oralfixation #protip

infinite free drinks at fast food places if you just have the restaurant cup - yes this is technically stealing but i have never gotten caught in weeks

easier if there is a back door entrance to slide in through the side

b-b-b-but you shouldn't really drink a lot of soda?

brb, heading to the apple store to attempt to shove each of the demo phones into my mouth

you can use a 3D printer to make prop phones at home and test how those fit in your mouth without leaving the house!

When you say "in my mouth" do you mean the whole thing? Because

and by "in my mouth" do you really mean in my mouth or...