pro tip

lol @ #mysteryofnutmeg

#seriouslywhatsupwithnutmug

55. nutmeg is spelled nutmeg #nutmugfail

56. ipad not big enough? buy 5 and throw 3 into the river. #biggeripad

lol

A+++

57. if you find walking too slow for your tastes, and driving too fast, try a bike! #goldilocksprinciple

58. tired of losing your cordless mouse? use string and hot-glue to attach it to your computer -- just like a real mouse!

59. #forgettingsomething #memoryaid #postswithonlyhashtags

60. Cool with smelling bad? dont shower #terribleadvice

61. Never date anyone who thinks "Bad Romance" is a legitimate blueprint for a relationship

62. Never date someone who forgets hashtags #miloz

63. If you have lots of Excedrin but don't know what to do with it, try reading ILX for a while #bamnomoreexcedrin

64. Do you like pretzels and do you like hummus? Dip your pretzels in hummus #tastysnack

65. today i didn't want to cross the house to get the dustpan after sweping, so i used windex and a paper towel to "sweep up" the dust pile #dirtbagcore

Do you like pretzels and do you like hummus? Dip your pretzels in hummus

This one sounds like it should be said by Dr Steve Brule.

"dip your pretzels in hummus, dummy! For your health!"

Hitting the snooze too often? Place your alarm across the room so you have to physically get out of bed to turn it off. Program a second alarm to go off a minute later even farther away, in another room. Keep strategically placing alarms around your house at important stations, like your bathroom and kitchen, and spaced every 50 feet or so along your path to work or school. The final alarm is placed at your desk at work or school, along with a tasty muffin. Now you're cool AND on time! #efficiency

67. if you make a sock, keep that account logged in a separate browser. for example, if you use firefox, keep that shit on ie or chrome. #banaka

if it's raining out and you drive to work, try to leave a little earlier than usual or you might be late #weather

68. ATMs are located in every drugstore and department store (as are weapons dealers and medicine peddlers). Never carry a lot of cash with you; leave it in your account. If you die, you come back with half the cash you were carrying #gameproprotipsarenotjustforEarthbound

69. Don't waste time with shit attorneys take matters into your own hands.

70. Don't try to sneak up from behind on someone using a hula-hoop. #stalking_the_sockhop

On any messageboard, it's important to have one area reserved where people can fight to the death. #ilm_battleroyale

stuck on a halloween costume? try going as a ghost or a skeleton. #death

71. go big or go home #going

72. Hungry? Go to bed #diets

73. Tired? Have some coffee #theslowdeathofsleeplessness

I did that one this morning! Pumpkin coffee at the diner.

74. If you've shattered a glass on the ground, leave it. Eventually it will erode into beautiful stones. #homedecor

75. watching a movie with a girl you really like but dont know how to make a move? pretend to dramatically yawn while stretcingh out your arms, and then subtly lay your arm across her shoulder. #orelsetrythepopcorntrick

76. If you have problems, start drinking. #life

77. Instead of wasting soggy corn flakes by throwing them away, place the mixture into cupcake tins and bake at 350F for 15 minutes. You've just made a delicious snack. #sandralee

78. got a boner at an inopportune time? that's cool, so do I #bonersolidarity

that joke is gonna stiff

79. If you are at a concert jumping around and grabbing people's heads and they push you off, they do not want you to grab them by the head. #sexualharassment

80. You can order grilled cheese sandwiches with bacon. #lunchtime

81. not everyone is good at sports #theproblemwithsports

82. can't sing? then don't. #notevenintheshower

83. Hash tag puns will impress your friends. #browns #cakes cornedbeef# madeacomplete#ofthis

84. Rolling a joint and stuck for something to help tamp down the top end? Oh look, there's a chopstick! #pokeandtoke

85. when offering a cigarette to a homeless person, remove it from the pack yourself and hand it to them. do not offer the pack to them so they can take one. #dirtyfingers

86. make sure you change a few large notes into single dollar bills before you arrive at the club -- don't expect the bar staff to break a hundred #makingitrainondemhoes

87. bonita applebum? you gotta put me on #pro-tip #q-tip

88. if you have dots in your gmail username you don't even need to enter them when logging in! #usernames

89. Don't wash your hands, dummy, they're only gonna get dirty again! #science

90. always vote 'no', works eveytime #voting

91. You can ride a horse anywhere! #vehicles

92. If you attend a halloween party, BRING CANDY!! Because A) so few ppl think to actually do this (ime) and B) everyone loves candy and, in turn, you. #raddudes'r'us

I don't know about the rest of you, but I like to imagine these pro tips as spoken by Dr. Steve Brule

93. read these pro tips in the voice of dr. steve brule #stealingotherpeoplesgoodideas